"Nate, they're evil! I'm telling you!"

Nate sighed and took a long gulp of his drink before meeting Parker's eyes again. She sat across from him at their usual McRory's booth, waiting impatiently.

"They aren't evil Parker. They're just little pieces of rubber in crazy shapes."

Parker glared at him over her soda glass, "Then why do they ALL have so many of them? It's like they're being," her voiced dropped to a whisper as she glanced around furtively, "brainwashed."

"It's not brainwashing, Parker, it's just a fad," Nate explained, in what he thought was a relatively pleasant tone. Parker just ignored his tone.

"Just like there was nothing going on with that jury? Hmm?"

"Parker..." Nate began, but she cut him off.

"I'll just do it myself then," Parker huffed, crossing her arms petulantly.

Nate pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ward of the inevitable headache. He looked up just in time to see Parker staring back at him with an expression not unlike a kicked puppy on her face.

He sighed again. One of these days, he'd learn to actually become the bastard he tried to convince everyone else that he was.

"Fine," he replied carefully, "But we're only going in for recon. There is no job here, OK? We'll talk about it in the meeting tomorrow."

Parker was already on her feet.

"Yeah, sure, right, no job, gotcha. I have to go now. We're gonna watch Shrek!"

Nate stared at the space where Parker had stood for a long moment, still as confused as he had been twenty minutes ago.

Tomorrow was bound to be an... interesting day.

.

.

"Remind me again why we're doing this?" Nate whispered to Sophie as they watched the others approaching the bar from their place in the doorway.

Sophie tsked, "Because Parker needs to know that we value and respect her opinion, even as... colorful as that opinion may be."

Nate grimaced, "Fine. One day. But that's it. I don't see why we all need to be in on this. She could do it alone."

"And may I remind you that you were the one that stopped her from going in alone, even on a mission you think is pointless?" Sophie smirked.

"She was... I didn't... she just... we don't do solo jobs anymore, that's the only reason," Nate defended himself weakly.

Sophie patted his arm, only slightly patronizingly, "I'm sure."

Parker reached them first, and to Nate and Sophie's horror, she has a small blonde boy no older than three clutched over one hip.

.

.

"Parker!" Sophie whispered harshly as she ushered the other team members, plus their little guest, inside the relatively empty bar. "Where did you get this child?"

Hardison and Eliot let out simultaneous snorts of amusement, which Sophie chose to ignore in favor of exchanging worried glances with Nate.

..

"I didn't steal him!" Parker defended as she seated herself, transferring the boy comfortably in her lap, "I'm only borrowing him for a little while."

Nate groaned, visions of police chases and frantic parents racing through his head.

Finally, Hardison put them out of their misery.

"Henry is my neighbors son. She was just glad to have an afternoon to herself. Made me a pie and everything."

.

Sophie visibly relaxed at the news, turning her attention to the little boy, who sat quietly, clutching a stuffed zebra.

"Hello, darling," she smiled at him, ruffling his blonde curls playfully.

"Zebra!" Henry replied, grinning widely.

"And he's a lovely zebra!" Sophie grinned back, "Does he have a name?"

Henry nodded seriously, "Zebra."

Nate couldn't help but ask, "Your zebra's name is Zebra?"

Henry cast Nate a glare that he could have learned from Eliot, in Nate's opinion.

Nate sat back in surprise while the others laughed at the exchange.

Henry looked up at Parker and frowned, "I have to go potty."

Parker looked over to Sophie, panicked. She hadn't anticipated this. "One of you take him!" she turned to Eliot and Hardison, who sat at the table across from them, "He's a boy, you're boys, bring him to the mens room."

Sophie laughed softly, "Henry is too young for a urinal, Parker, I'll bring him into the ladies room."

"No!" Henry cried out when Sophie went to reach for him. He burrowed closer to Parker, tucking his head into her shoulder and hiding his face in her hair.

"Why's he doing this?" Parker patted the boy's back awkwardly. "He wanted to be carried before, but I thought he would let go at some point."

"He just likes you, is all," Sophie soothed, "Bring him to the bathroom, you'll do fine."

"OK," Parker took a deep breath, as if preparing for battle, "Come on, Henry with a y. We're going to the potty."

Henry glared one last time at Nate, Parker's hair almost matching his own to create an amusing wig effect, and it was all Nate could do not to laugh.

.

.

Nate waited until Parker and Henry had disappeared into the bathroom before regarding Eliot and Hardison.

"Henry with a y?"

Eliot snorted, "Yeah. Same concept as the Eric's. Henry with a y is good, Henri with an I is evil. Apparently."

Nate just shook his head silently. He would never understand that girl.

.

.

"Liberty Freedom Boston Privileged Children's Academy?" Hardison read out loud as they pulled up to the swanky looking school. "Are you serious?"

"As a kamikaze 9000 safe with titanium enforced explosives," Parker responded cheerfully.

"You're making that up," Hardison stared at the others with wide eyes, "She's making that up, right? I mean, that doesn't even sound real."

Parker looked at him shrewdly, "I don't joke about safes."

Before the situation could escalate, Nate broke in with a question.

"Parker, did you do any research into this place?"

"Well..." she hedged, "I know they like money. And I have lots of money that I can pretend to want to give them."

Nate shook his head in half amusement, half annoyance. "This school is extremely selective in who they enroll. The wait list for the pre-school is five years long. You can't just stroll in there with Henry and pretend to sign him up. Especially not without a 'husband.' At the most, you might be able to get a tour, and even that isn't likely."

.

Parker regarded him with appraisal before wrinkling her nose and turning her head to look at Eliot and Hardison instead, before turning back to Nate.

"So what you're saying is... if I had a husband, I could at least get a tour of the place?"

Four simultaneous groans filled the car, causing Henry to giggle from his booster seat.

Parker grinned happily. "Now," she bounced, "Who wants to marry me?"

.

.

Eliot fidgeted as he, Parker and Henry, who had decided he wanted to walk, made their way into the school.

"Why was there even a collared polo shirt in the car, that was mysteriously my size?" he groused, "And why can't Hardison play daddy? You know I hate this shit."

"Shh!" Parker scolded him, "No cursing in front of Henry."

Henry looked up at Parker, "Mommy says sugar honey iced tea, all the time."

Parker just stared back, dumbfounded, but Eliot laughed. "I like you, little man."

Henry grinned and reached up with the hand not holding onto Parker and grabbed Eliot's hand. To the hitter's credit, he simply held on and continued walking, as the three of them made their way down the very long and intimidating hallway to the office.

"Ask Sophie about the shirt," Parker replied to his earlier question, "She has a thing about you and blue, I don't know. And Nate says Hardison couldn't be my husband because there are still some 'wicked racist pricks' left in Boston, and the tours would become 'unavailable.'"

Eliot just mumbled words that no three year old should hear under his breath as they reached the office.

.

.

A short and curvy woman in her thirties looked up from the desk as the trio entered. Her bleach blonde hair was too light for her tanned face, and she looked about as comfortable in her business suit as Eliot felt in his polo shirt. Her eyes fell on Parker first, blankly, then onto Henry, and she stopped to smile for a moment at the cuteness. Then her gaze rose to settle on Eliot, who gave her his best 'meet me in the supply closet in ten minutes' smile.

.

"Ma'am," he greeted her, in that honeyed voice Parker was just learning not to roll her eyes at.

The woman sat up sharply, as if just remembering she was at work.

"How can I help you?" she regarded the group, visibly forcing her eyes away from focusing solely on Eliot.

"Well," Eliot strolled to the desk, leaning on it casually, "Me and Sarah here were hoping to get a tour of the place. Our Henry is going to be ready for pre-school next year, and we just know this is the best school in the city. And since Sarah will be working so much, leaving me all alone... I'm sure I'll want Henry to be at a school that values parent participation as much as this one."

"Oh?" the woman replied, "So you're a stay at home dad? That's really great. Most of the dads here barely see their kids at all."

"That's a real shame," Eliot drawled, "Now me, I plan on spending as much time at my son's school as I can."

"That's wonderful," the woman smiled up at him, "Let me see if I can... squeeze you in. I'll be right back."

Eliot grinned again, "Well thank you, miss...?"

"S-s-Sawyer," she stumbled, "Evelyn Sawyer."

"Thank you, miss Sawyer," Eliot repeated as she hustled away. He stopped to appreciate the curves of her body fighting against the conservative clothing she wore. He was only human, after all.

Rejoining Parker and Henry where they stood, he just smirked at the disbelieving look on Parker's face.

"I just don't get it," Parker said, "It's like they don't even have brains."

"They love the whole 'southern charm' thing," Hardison's voice came through over the comms Nate had insisted they wear. "But I'm with you, mama, I just don't get it either."

"Dammit, Hardison!" Eliot growled, "I forgot about the damn comms. Shut up, I don't need you in my head."

"Just try to warn us if you're going to be taking out your ear bud for any...lessons," Sophie's voice replaced Hardison's, though the hacker's laughter could still be heard.

Eliot's sure to be scathing reply was halted by the return of Evelyn Sawyer, who now clutched three visitor passes and a bulky looking clipboard of papers.

"Ready for the tour?" she asked, grinning hopefully.

Eliot's face slipped back into the easy grin, "Sure thing, miss Sawyer. You lead the way."

Parker managed to stop herself from mocking both Eliot and Evelyn, but just barely. Instead, she scooped up Henry and followed Evelyn out the door Eliot held open for them.

.

.

Nate, Sophie, and Hardison sat in the car, unsure of what exactly they were supposed to do besides be moral support.

"So just to be clear," Hardison asked, muting his comm for the moment, "We're investigating a school because Parker thinks somebody is using rubber bracelets to brainwash children? And we're just going with this? I mean, love h... a good conspiracy as much as the next person, but this is a stretch, even for Parker."

"Hardison," Sophie sighed, taking out her own comm and covering it with her hand, "The girl owns 127 spoons. This? Is nothing. And if this is what it takes to show her that we support her, then this is what we'll do."

Hardison nodded, turning his comm back on as Sophie replaced hers, "Ok. But can I at least hack the security system? This whole waiting thing is boring."

Sophie grinned, "Have at it."

Nate leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. Maybe if he napped, this whole thing would be over by the time he woke up.

.

.

TBC