Can You Feel Me?

Disclaimer: I do not own Haven, nor do I seek to make a profit. Don't sue me, I'm broke.

Spoiler for Ain't No Sunshine

She's always able to get him to talk. He's still not sure how, but she can get him to open just a little. Before he even realizes what's happening, his mouth is open and he's telling her what has been rolling around in his head all day.

"Is Jess okay?"

"She's fine," he tells her. "She left. Not coming back." The words should feel painful coming off his lips, he knows that, he just can't feel it. They seem to hurt Audrey though as she winces and pushes back against the truck.

"Oh, Nathan," she says. "I am so, I am so sorry." Her face looks pained as if it were her fault. He looks at her and shrugs it off, like always.
"Bound to happen sometime." He almost laughs at himself. For thinking that maybe this could last. For letting himself a fleeting thought that he could be happy with a woman. It was all just a stupid fantasy.

The silence grows between them for a bit, and he knows she's trying to think of something to say to comfort him with. And he knows he's going to have to pretend it worked when really all it will do is make it worse.

"Hey, uh… You know that whole friends thing?" It takes him all of a millisecond before he realizes what she's talking about. "You were right," she continues. "I don't think I ever really had any."

Well big damn surprise. Sure he'd been teasing her about it all week, but he didn't actually expect her to concede to it. He takes in her words and waits for the 'but' because he knows it's coming.

"But I do now."

And there it is. The cheesy part. He was wondering when it was going to come. So now she's decided that he's her only friend. Well ain't that just sad. Her first actual friend and she picks him. A broken man who doesn't even remember what feeling is supposed to be like. Nicely done Parker.

"And so do you." Now that he wasn't expecting. A faint smirk barely shows itself in the left corner of his mouth as he realizes that she's right. Audrey Parker was more than just his partner now.

In her peripherals, he sees her coming in for a kiss on the cheek and he braces himself for the disappointment. He hasn't felt a kiss in years, and honestly, it pisses him off that people still try.
Her hand on his shoulder, putting a slight pressure on him through his jacket. Her breath on his face. And her lips. His eyes close at the contact of her warm soft lips gently pressing into his skin. That actually felt nice. She pulls away and it hits him.

That actually… felt.

He touches his cheek with his hand, the feel of her lips still searing into his skin. He can't believe it. His heart races and his mind begins buzzing as he tries to make sense of this. He looks into the truck at the woman who caused this sensation, and she's completely oblivious. She has no idea what she's just caused, and he's over here with his world thoroughly rocked.

Maybe… maybe he's just thinking to much. Maybe he's wrong. But maybe he's not. He tries to shake it off and he opens the door to his truck. He wants to reach out and touch her. He wants to ask her to kiss him again. He wants to grab her and demand what she is and how the hell she did that. But he doesn't; he just starts his car and drives back towards town.

He spends the entire car ride focused on Audrey. When they pull into the station, he finds that he really doesn't remember the drive over here. She seems to be able to tell something is off, and suggests that he go home to relax and offers to finish the paper work. He wants to tell her what happened. He wants to reach out and brush the hair off her face. He wants to touch her skin. But he needs time to think. So he finds himself agreeing with her and getting back into his truck and before he knows it, he's home sitting on his couch.

Nathan braced himself and put one finger onto the stovetop. He can hear the sizzle of skin on burner and yet he still can't feel it. Angrily he shuts off the appliance and turns on the cold water, running his finger under it. He can't feel the difference, but for some reason it makes sense. He walks over to the freezer and takes a single ice cube from a tray. Taking a deep breath he places it against his cheek the same one that tingled under Audrey's lips a few hours ago. Nothing he bites back on a scream and throws the ice into the sink, loving the crash it creates when it knocks over a glass. Ever since the afternoon, he has been unable to stop thinking about the kiss. It was nothing. A simple kiss from a friend, and yet it was nothing short of a miracle.

He started pacing his apartment a while after he got home, just trying to sort out what it meant. Was Audrey like the others? Did she have some sort of… ability? Or was he the one that was different. Maybe he was getting better. The troubles were making bad things happen to others, maybe something good was happening to him. It was that thought that had him touch everything in his house to try and feel…anything. He hadn't been this frantic since he first realized that he couldn't feel.

The ice was the last of it. It wasn't him who was changing, and that meant it had something to do with her.

Nathan parked his truck outside of the motel and practically ran to her door. He bangs on the door, hoping she's awake. He bangs again. If she wasn't, she is now.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming. Hold on. Sheesh!" her voice sounds groggy and more than a little upset. Nathan doesn't care. He needs to figure this out.

She opens the door and he immediately pushes past her to pace the small space of her room.

"Well come on in." she says sarcastically and closes the door behind him. He hasn't been there since early on. When he needed to cut her out of a cocoon. He briefly remembers the awkwardness when he had gotten her free, and then realized she was wearing nothing but a towel. He pushes the memory away and turns to look at her. She's standing in front of him wearing nothing but a tank top, panties, and a look of concern that is one for the record books. He's not surprised, he must look a sight.

"Nathan?" she questions cautiously. "What's wrong?"

"What are you?" he blurts out. He immediately wants to take it back at the look on her face. That was not what he wanted to say.

"Excuse me? What the hell are you talking about?" she folds her arms under her breasts and shifts her weight and he wants to laugh.
"Earlier, back at Thornton's, you…" his voice wavered. He took a moment to collect himself. "You touched me. You remember?"

"Of course," she confirmed, her brow furrowing as she considered the nearly crazed man before her. "Yeah I kissed your cheek."

"I felt it." There it was. He plopped down onto her bed as he watched the realization open up on her face.

"You… you felt that?" Audrey wasn't sure that she heard him right. He watched her face as she tried to work the news over in her head. "Well, can you feel anything else?" She asked. He shook his head, his eyes never leaving hers.

"I've been trying all night. Nothing." He shrugged his shoulders. Audrey looked at him. He looked like he was trying to find an answer written on her face. She couldn't think of anything to say, so she just leaned in and pressed her lips to his cheek once more. Nathan held his breath as she moved in closer to him. And once again, he felt her warm, soft skin against his face. He gasped at the sensation as it sent shockwaves through him. She pulled away and he nearly whimpered at the loss of contact. She sat back and looked at him expectantly.

"Well?" she spoke softly, as if her words would somehow ruin everything. He turned to her, the shock and awe evident on his face. She opened her mouth to speak again when he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers. She gasped in surprise and he swept his tongue into her warm, inviting mouth. Oh man, not since high school had he ever felt this amazing. It was like his first time all over again. His heart was pounding and his head felt light. When he pulled away to gather himself, he looked at the dumbfounded expression on Audrey's face. Her mouth hung open in shock and her eyelids heavy. Their breath was coming out hot and fast as they brought their eyes to look at one another.

Suddenly Nathan felt guilty. He shouldn't be using her like this, even though this was something he never thought he'd have again.

"Audrey," he began to apologize but was cut off by her throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him in for another searing kiss. He moaned into her mouth at the contact. She swept her tongue across his lips and he nearly passed out from the sensation. He pulled her closer and onto his lap. She placed her legs on either side of him, straddling him as they continued to devour one another. Wait…

"Wait." Nathan mumbled, pulling away a bit. "Wait."

"What is it?" she instantly looked concerned. "What's wrong? What did I do?"

"Nothing, nothing it's… great. Everything great." He reassured her. Hell, it was a lot more than great. It was…

"I just want to slow things down." He said, unable to believe what he was saying. Slow things down? Bullshit. He needed her and now. This was not the time for self-control!

"Okay, we can take things slow." Audrey all but purred her words into his ear and pressed a kiss to his jaw. "How slow do you want to take things?"

"Oh my God, Audrey…" Nathan couldn't see straight. He felt so alive. His skin tingled hot wherever she touched him. She slid her hands under his jacket and pushed it off his shoulders, running her fingers along his arms.

"Are you…" his voice faltered as her fingers found their way under his shirt. "Are you sure you want to do this now?" he asked her. Regardless of what this was doing to him, he still needed to be a gentleman about it. Her fingers stilled and he closed his eyes, waiting for her to stop this with one word. But he instead felt her hands come up and hold his face ever so gently.

"Nathan," she whispered. He opened his eyes to look at her. "Do you want this to happen?" he was confused. He was usually the one asking that.

"Yes," his voice was hoarse and sounded needy to his own ears. He couldn't imagine what he sounded like to her. Damn, here he was practically begging his partner for sex. Of course he sounded needy.

"I do too," she confessed and relief flooded his system. He slowly pressed his lips to hers. Squeezing his eyes shut at the incredible warmth he found there. Carefully, he laid her down onto the bed and situated himself beside her. His lips lazily wandered from her mouth down to her neck. He relished in the change of firmness in her skin. She swallowed hard, and he felt her muscles tense. He smiled against her skin and moved his way down, feeling her collarbone, down towards the pliant skin of her breasts. Her breathing pushed her ribcage up and against him. He loved feeling her breathing beneath his body. And he told her so.

She reached down to pull his shirt up and over his head. He pushed her tank up pressing open-mouthed kisses against the soft skin he found there. By the time he came back up to look in her eyes, her shirt had joined his on the floor and her shaking fingers were making quick work of his belt. He helped her and together they shed what little clothing was left between them. They lay back down together and Nathan situated himself between her legs. She closed her eyes in the anticipation, but after a few moments, he still hadn't moved. She opened her eyes again to look at him.

"Nathan," she breathed. "What's wrong?" That was a damn good question. He couldn't just do this. No matter how much they both wanted it.

"This uh…" his breathing was very labored. "I'm uh, not looking for just a hookup. I've thought about this a lot since you first came into town." She giggled and the incredibly corny thought crossed his mind on how cute it sounded.

"You mean when I pulled that gun on you? You have some interesting fantasies." He smiled with her and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I just want you to know that I'm not just using you." Her eyes softened at his words and she kissed him sweetly.

"Ok. Good." her words blew warm air against his face. "I've wanted this for a while." He was a little shocked at her confession.

"Oh yeah?"

"Remember the cocoon thing? When you came and cut me loose?" Now it was his turn to chuckle.

"Someone has a hero complex."

"Shut up and feel me, Nathan." He didn't need to be told twice.

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