If I loved Kanade, then why was I here with Hinata?

I was undressed, and my school tie had been used to bind my hands to the bedpost.
He brought me to his room because he wanted to tell me about his past life, he said.
I was a fool to believe him!
He was giving me my very first blowjob and though I tried to resist initially, I soon fell prey to my own lust.
I was even aroused by being bound to the bed like this.
Such things I had never dared to do in my virtuous past life – I was doing them now!

I smiled unexpectedly.
Even if he was doing such lewd things to me at the moment, even though he was sucking the life out of my penis, he was still my friend.
The thought made me want to kiss him, and this I tried to do, but then I came forth in a sputtering orgasm.

I struggled in Hinata's grip as the white liquid shot out of me.
It was over too soon...

Hinata's fingers were dirty with my semen, and raising them to my mouth, he instructed me to clean the semen off.
Why would a friend do this? My eyes begged him to stop, but he forced his fingers through my lips.
The stench of my own semen was sickening. How could such a foul thing feel so good when being expelled from my penis?

Still, I wanted to oblige Hinata in everything. I wanted to be the best buddy he ever had.
Something about Hinata spoke to me of loneliness. I quietly sucked his fingers clean, and he seemed satisfied.

"What a slutty boy you are, Yuzuru," he said, breathing excitedly. "I bet you want to feel my cock inside you very much, right?"

Ah, my Hinata. Whatever he wanted from me, I would give.

He held my legs up and prodded me with his penis, telling me to relax my muscles.
Caught in this awkward position, I could feel the heat of a blush upon my neck and face.
I did my best, and soon I could feel his hard flesh moving about inside.
Secretly I wanted him to go deeper and faster, but I suppose he feared he would hurt me.

I was wrong.
I had barely closed my eyes in enjoyment when he slapped my face hard.
The stinging pain caught me off-guard. He wanted to hurt me for his own pleasure.
He slapped me again and again, telling me it was my punishment for being so shameless, and for being fucked like a girl.

I tried to think of Kanade.
What would it be like to have sex with the white-haired angel?

Hinata had slapped me too hard. Blood started running from my nose.
He stopped and pulled out his penis.

"Yuzuru?" he asked, using his hands to wipe the blood off my face.

How anxious he looked then. I hugged him gently and told him to continue, and forget about the bleeding.
He did not slap me anymore after that.

The moon cast shadows everywhere upon this strange Purgatory.

I thought about the SSS. I loved them all. But whom did I love most?

A new day.
The afternoon was hot, and I roamed the school, feeling a little strange.
Where were the other SSS members?

The discomfort in my trousers had been growing all week. The sun was too hot, too hot.
I thought about the things Hinata had done to my body, not for the first time.
And where was that damned Hinata?

Hinata was lounging calmly against a windowsill.
I ran to him. I was at a complete loss for words, but he laughed knowingly.
Perhaps he saw it in my dilated eyes.
Slowly he touched the painful bulge in my trousers.

"You want it so badly, Yuruzu?" he said teasingly.

I did.

Always joking that Hinata was in love with me, always playfully suggesting he was gay...Oh, I was blind all along!