Meanwhile…

"You didn't really give him it back, did you?" Remus questioned from where he was lying on his bed.

Sirius smiled his plotting grin. "Of course not. Something that's got James in such a tizzy I had to investigate. So, lead him to a sense of false security while we read the real juicy stuff upstairs with him none the wiser."

Remus smiled appreciatively. "How very Slytherin of you," His smile widened when Sirius shuddered and glared at him, "but what did you exactly do?"

He shrugged easily. "I just duplicated the book. That way, James still has a copy of it and doesn't even know that we have one too."

Remus shook his head with amusement. "Well, you can't say that Sirius Black isn't an evil mastermind. But don't you think that James might have had a reason to overreact over this book?" He said with a raised eyebrow and a thoughtful expression.

Sirius shrugged again. "This probably isn't even his book and he's either stolen it or is keeping it for someone and he doesn't want anyone to know about it. Either way, there really is no harm in just reading a couple pages and seeing who it belongs to. It's not like we're going to tell anyone anyway. Besides it's probably Peter's anyway."

Remus nodded. "Good point. Well, let's get to it then. Check the first page for a name." He said as he clambered out of bed and sat next to Sirius on James' bed so he could see the book as well. Sirius flipped over the back of the front cover and they stared in awe at the name scrawled elegantly in green ink in the top left corner: Lily Evans.

Meanwhile…

I marched through the halls with an anxious and troubled expression clouding my face. Students rushed past me with excited voices and whispers and some threw concerned looks at me when they saw the twisted frown on Lily Evans' face. I glared at them. I was far too afraid and aggravated to care about pleasantries at the moment.

It's been four hours and I haven't seen James or my beloved Book the whole time. I haven't seen Sirius or Remus neither. People haven't laughed in my face in the hallways the whole time so I'm wondering if they've been told not to. Or if James hasn't done anything earth shattering with the Book yet.

I am incredibly anxious, scared, humiliated, and dreading the moment when James does exactly what he's been planning to do with the Book. My mind is swirling in the possibilities of what James might do. Read the Book in front of the whole school, scream that Lily Evans reads adult romance novels, ask me if I wanted to reenact page 17 with him, or, dare I hope, actually give me back the Book without having leafed through the pages laughing at my absolute stupidity at actually enjoying that rubbish. But, maybe, I'm giving James too little credit when it's due. This past year James has shown that he has way more morals that I had realized before, being Head Boy kind of makes being responsible a necessity. Surely I should have enough faith in James by now to know that he would give me back the Book without having looked inside. No, of course James would give it back to me. Yes, why didn't I see it? James wouldn't do that to me.

I chuckled in relief at my revelation and I shook my head in amusement. Why had I been so stupid? Of course James wouldn't do any of those to me; he claims he loves me too much to ever torture me like that.

With a noticeable spring in my step, I skipped over to the common room where I could finally start reading 'The Mistress and Her Youthful Revenge.'

Four hours ago, Flashback to Sirius and Remus:

"Lily Evans? James stole this from LILY? EVANS? Head Girl, Lily EVANS?" Sirius shouted in absolute shock. Remus stared at the book in equal bewilderment and shock.

"Why the hell would Lily Evans read smutty books like this?" Sirius continued to exclaim. Remus shrugged timidly and didn't respond to what Sirius had asked.

After a few more minutes of stunned silence, when Sirius started manically laughing. Remus turned his astonished gaze from Lily's book to the currently chocking in hysterics Mr. Black. Usually when this happens, Remus has learned to let Sirius laugh it out and only when all his chuckles were gone could he ask any questions. Five minutes later, Sirius finally got up from his spot of guffawing and Remus raised an eyebrow in question.

"And may I inquire as to what that was about?" Remus asked with both eyebrows raised. Sirius looked up and the look on his face clearly said that he was about to start laughing again. Remus help up a hand and he pressed down on his amusement.

"I was just thinking that during the raunchy scenes Lily probably imagined doing the horizontal with Prongs!" Sirius proclaimed before dissolving into feminine giggles once again. Remus rolled his eyes, but accidentally sniggered at the image in his head, and marveled at how Sirius seems to find everything funny, even though it clearly isn't that funny, only a little. This time is one of those instances. Clearly annoyed, Remus slapped Sirius over the head which caused Sirius to develop a mock affronted look.

"Remus Lupin! How dare you hit me? I mean, I know you want to tap this but must you so hard?" He finished with a smirk and Remus rolled his eyes but laughed heartily nonetheless.

"In your dreams." Remus shot back with a grin while Sirius gasped in horror. Before Sirius could say something inappropriate, Remus nodded toward the book in Sirius' hands and they went back to inspecting.

"Do you really think this is Lily's?" Sirius asked curiously. Remus shrugged.

"It's certainly possible. Let's read the summary first." Sirius nodded and carefully turned the paperback over and bent over to read over the summary carefully with Remus' head bent right next to his. Afterward both boys had a smirk of amusement and at the same time started laughing hysterically.

"Firmly…between…sheets!" Sirius gasped through his laughter which sent both of them farther into their mirth. You can't really blame them, that sentence was ridiculously cheesy. Even I laughed when I wrote it.

Ten minutes later, Remus and Sirius had managed finally stop laughing. Still chuckling slightly, Sirius opened the book to its first page and the both of them ducked their heads together once more in a fast motion. Unfortunately, they ducked their heads a little bit too fast and eagerly and as a head of black hair smashed into a head with sandy blond hair, a low groan emitted out of both men's mouths before they simultaneously reached up to rub the sore spot on their heads. That proved to be a bad idea for both as their elbows rammed against each other and Remus' elbow fell down with a thud and right into the stomach of Sirius Black. Sirius gasped shallowly in pain and slid off the bed slowly and groaned even further as his head hit the corner of the night table and his knees slammed forward onto the ground painfully. Remus watched the whole scene with wide eyes and winced guiltily as Sirius finally settled into the fetal position on the carpeted ground with a final groan.

"Oh Merlin, Sirius, are you okay?" Remus asked anxiously and worriedly as he sunk onto the floor next to the cowering figure of Sirius Black.

Sirius nodded painfully and grimaced. "Karma's a bitch, isn't it? I guess that was for dumping Shelli Burns one day after I asked her out. Or someone just really does not want us to read that book." He said with a wince as he cautiously got up and stood up unsteadily. Remus narrowed his eyebrows in confusion and worry. As far as he was concerned, Sirius had never dumped Shelli Burns a day after asking her out. In fact, Remus was almost positive there had never been a 'Shelli Burns' for the seven years they had been there. Now, he was really concerned.

"Are you sure you're okay, Sirius?" Remus asked cautiously and laid a hand on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius snapped out of his intent focus of the dorm ceiling and emphatically nodded with wide eyes.

"Oh, Remus thanks for asking. But I'm quite at the moment. Everything's spinning and there's…bright colors…" Sirius mumbled before dropping onto the ground in a dead faint at Remus' feet with a sticky red substance pouring out of the back of his head.

"SIRIUS!" Remus cried in panic as he watched his best mate's body slump to the ground. As he wildly searched for his wand, the blood from his head wound continued to seep into the carpet at a faster ratio. While Remus searched for his wand, to repair the wound of course, he continually glanced at the slumped figure of Sirius Black with vast amounts of blood pouring out of his head. Finally, as the blood pooled around Sirius' head and caked his hair and the surrounding carpet, Remus found his wand in his back pocket. He was in such a panic and rush that he didn't even think about his stupidity that he hadn't found his wand on his person. Quickly, Remus cast a stasis charm around Sirius and watched as the blood slowly stopped pouring out of the head wound. After that he levitated Sirius' body and slowly descended down the stairs and toward the infirmary. Even though Remus had taken a few healing classes earlier in the year, he was certain that Madam Pomphrey or her apprentice, Annabelle, would do a much better job of healing the wound on Sirius' head. Plus he hadn't learned how to heal a person that had lost as much blood as Sirius had.

He was worried. How had Sirius hit his head so hard that what looked like gallon of blood had poured out? If he remembered correctly, Sirius had only hit his head on the corner of the night table as he was falling onto the ground, all of what should have happened is he would have felt dizzy and his head would have felt a little tender. And what was up with that 'Shelli Burns' thing? Where that name had come from? And what had karma had anything to do with it? What did he mean that someone really didn't want us to read Lily's book? Had someone tried to hurt Sirius to prevent us from reading that book? Remus thought with dread. 'Oh my god, someone tried to kill Sirius, and all for a book! What's so important about that book in the first place?' Nonetheless, Remus was both anxious and dreading when he finally gets his hands on the 'Hot bed of Seduction.'

Two Hours Later:

"Damn, who knew that Pom-Pom had such good taste in women? That Annabelle was hot piece of arse, despite that fact that she's way too smart for my taste," Sirius said with a smirk and glazed over eyes. "I swear, her hand lingered a little too long when she was checking for other 'injuries.' Sirius finished with air quotes.

"For the last time Padfoot, Madam Pomphrey is not a lesbian! And don't call her Pom-Pom; I don't want to get another detention." Remus said with firmness as he wearily looked around as if looking for a certain overprotective nurse.

"Ah, sorry, Moony. Didn't mean to insult your best girlfriend! Are you having another sleepover tonight at the infirmary? Ooh, you gonna paint your nails a vivid purple while munching on complexion-friendly chocolate and voting on which guy has the hottest arse? Remember vote for me, I'm sure Pom-Pom will!" Sirius winked at Remus while the man in mention glowered with no amount of amusement. He had always hated Sirius' gay jokes.

"Madam Pomphrey!" Remus snapped for the last time before walking quickly in front of Sirius. Right now he was wishing he hadn't brought Sirius to the infirmary as fast as he did. With all his luck, Sirius might have lost more blood and he wouldn't be there to annoy him at the moment. But he cursed himself for thinking those thoughts, they wouldn't be the Marauders without Sirius Black and how could he think about Sirius like that after all he's done for him? His morose thoughts were halted when Sirius ran forward and threw his arm over his shoulder.

"Sorry about that, Moony. Sometimes my mouth runs without me to run after it...if that makes sense." He said with strangely apologetic eyes and a shrug.

"Not really." Remus said with a chuckle. There is never a dull moment around Sirius.

"Man, Annabelle, Annabelle. Don't be so surprised if I don't sleep in the dorm tonight. I might be sleeping somewhere else, or is that with someone else?" Sirius said with another arrogant smirk, Remus held in his laughter and shook his head in exasperation.

"Padfoot, you are an absolute dog! Pun intended." Remus said with a smile, while Sirius laughed his loud bark-like laugh.

"But don't you agree with me?" And then Sirius continued to explain exactly what he wanted to do while pantomiming his fantasies.

Remus looked away in disgust and grimaced when Sirius made moaning noises from next to him.

"Not really." Remus said dryly with a raised eyebrow and an awkward silence ensued.

"Anyway! What were we doing before? Ah, we were reading Lily's book! Let's go find it! I wanna see what gets Prude Lily Evans all hot and bothered!" Sirius exclaimed loudly. Remus grimaced and wondered if he should go along with what Sirius was saying. Someone had tried to hurt him over that book so what would they try this time? Remus shook his head. Nobody had tried to kill Sirius! There was nobody in the room except him so how was that possible? Plus, who would hurt Sirius over a book? Admittedly a book that wasn't theirs but nonetheless they would have to be crazy! He laughed in relief and couldn't get past how naive and gullible he had just been.

"Okay. It's back in the dorm." Remus said politely before they started walking back. Four minutes later, Remus and Sirius were once again seated on James' bed with the Book between them.

"Okay, first page!" Anxious and more than excited, they started reading the words printed meticulously onto the page before them.

'Charlie sighed with tentative exasperation as his father continued to blather on about his latest-'

"Okay, this is boring! Let's skip to the sexy sex parts, shall we?" Sirius exclaimed with an utterly bored expression before excitedly clapping his hands and emphasizing certain words. Remus turned slowly from the book with a shocked awed look.

"I honestly have no idea how you've managed to get to your seventh year if you couldn't read one sentence before giving up and saying you're bored. It's a miracle you can manage to keep your attention on one girl for four minutes, the time it takes for you to finish up your little sex sessions. It's like you're not even a human being but a full time canine!" Remus said exasperatedly, throwing his hands up.

Sirius stared in horror and shock at Remus. 'Uh oh.' Remus thought. "Here's it goes...'Remmy how dare you...something something.' "

"Remmy, how dare you insinuate that I cannot...keep it in for more than four minutes? I'll have you know that one time..." And there Sirius went. He shared a time where he and a supple Hufflepuff did some rather flexible moves for over a half an hour under the Slytherin table in the Great Hall at midnight on Christmas Eve.

Remus grimaced and shoved his fingers in his ears when Sirius started describing how they had done an anonymous sex act while managing to stay on the narrow benches where Severus Snape happened to sit.

"LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA!" Remus sang shrilly in deaf tones at the loudest volume he could manage, which was very loud for the young werewolf.

"-TWISTED HER RATHER TAN LEG BEHIND-" Sirius screamed over Remus' loud voice. And that was the scene Peter Pettigrew happened to step into. The door opened slowly and a rather porky body poked out of the corner and fearfully examined the people inside the messy room. He stared in shock as the rest of Sirius' escapades came to view and he heard the rather descriptive tellings of a forbidden night between two star crossed lovers. At least, that's what Peter liked to think of what he heard as...It all seemed so tragic.

So with a sad smile, Peter Pettigrew left the seventh year dormitory to ponder love and the meaning of life.

Both Remus and Sirius startled when they heard the loud slam that came out to the door. Remus cautiously lowered his fingers from his ears and looked at Sirius wearily from the corner of his eyes. Sirius had continued to stare at the door in wonder.

"Then she licked-" Sirius said plainly turning away from the door and facing Remus.

"SIRIUS! I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS THE MARAUDER'S HOLY BOXERS THAT IF YOU FINISH THAT FUCKING SENTENCE THAT I'M GOING TO SHRED DAMN WINKY INTO LITTLE ITTY BITTY SHREDS!" Remus finally screamed with no small amount of peeve. Sirius stared at Remus in horror, again, and instinctively moved to the aforementioned Winky. Wrapping his furry friend in his arms he whispered reassuringly to the rather ugly but comforting bunny.

"It is okay, Winks. Papa Siri's not gonna let the bad wolf get you, okay? You're safe as long as I'm here…Shh…don't cry, don't cry. Papa's here." Sirius whispered to his inanimate bunny. Remus rolled his eyes when he heard what 'Papa Siri' was saying and felt the slow workings of irritation build up in him.

"SIRIUS! DO YOU NOT WANT TO HEAR THE SEXY SEX OR NOT?" Remus shouted while Sirius frowned irritably. He stood up with a roll of his gray eyes and Winky still wrapped safely in his arms.

"You don't have to be so mean...we all know it's you're time of month." Sirius mumbled irritably as he sat down next to the irate Remus.

Ten minutes later, when Remus had finally calmed down enough the both of them set out to find the pages where the real stuff happened. Two minutes since the start of their search with duplicated books, suddenly Sirius' eyes widened comically and he shouted in joy.

"I found it! Here, page 17! It's starting!" Remus jumped and threw his copy of the book across the room. Bending next to Sirius, the both of them started reading from the middle of the infamous page 17.

"'And how are you so sure that I want you even at all?'Aileen questioned testily with a raised eyebrow. Charles merely smiled back obnoxiously, his ice cold smirk sending unintended shivers down Aileen's spine. She shook them off quickly. She couldn't let herself give into the temptation. She'd never hear the end of it if she did.

Charles noticed the violent shake of her shoulders and smirked in the satisfaction that he had a hold on her. With a resounding step, Charles stepped as close as he could to Aileen's curvaceous form without touching her soft hips. He felt rather than heard Aileen sigh and shiver in response to being so close to his tall body and smirked once again at the fact that Aileen was so easily affected by him and hadn't even realized it herself. Slowly and deliberately, he placed his calloused hands on her curvy hips and slowly traced circles on them. Bending down, he lowered his lips right next to her delicate ear and seductively whispered lowly in a growl.

'So you wouldn't be affected at all if I did...this?' He whispered slowly as he slowly took his hands off her hips and brushed the strand of brilliant red hair hanging over her heart shaped face before letting his hands drift down her soft shoulders and her soft skin. All the while he held her green eyed gaze with his hazel eyes which only made the passion between them the more vivid and amorous. Aileen's eyes held a sense of fear and pure longing that made Charles' own desire burn brighter than ever before. At the moment all he wanted to do was rip her blouse off and drown himself in her love but he reigned himself in and continued his mere flirtation.

Remus and Sirius sat in shock as they continued to read the rest of the passionate escapades foretold on page 17. Adult romance novels were way more descriptive than Sirius ever was about his shenanigans and that's really saying something.

"Oh….Oh…Ohh….Oh….Ohhhh….Wow, that's…Wow…Oh, God….Mmm…TMI…Oh, dear god." Sirius and Remus moaned continually as they continued to read. Both of the young men were plagued by the constant images running through their heads and even years later, they would never get the images fully out of their heads. Memory charms wouldn't help. They always came back…

Scrunched noses and fully equipped grimaces were what Remus and Sirius looked like at that moment. Both were thoroughly disgusted by what was before them but they couldn't seem to tear their astonished eyes away from the text. They would never quite find out why.

Minutes later, both of the men were splayed across their beds in exhaustion as if they were the ones that had engaged in the rather inventive activity the tome had described all so vividly. It was several minutes later, that either of them dared to talk at all. For the last few minutes they had been haunted by the images their damn brains had crafted in the forefront of their tortured minds.

"Wow…That was…indescribable." Remus murmured with his sandy blond covered head burrowed in his bamboo pillow. Sirius nodded dumbly from beside him with a dull expression covering his once carefree face.

"That's what she said…You know if you think about it this whole situation is that's what she said. You and me in the same bed, muttering in shock about how mind blowing that page was…" Sirius managed to mumble back in a dull tone. Even when he was as haunted as he was right now he still managed to act like a pompous ass.

Remus rolled his eyes tiredly and they submerged into silence once again.

"That was rather…creative of them, for their first time. I certainly didn't think humans could do any of those things…" Sirius muttered with a little more life than before.

Remus nodded and appeared to be thoughtful. "You know…now that I think about it. The main character, Charles, had messy black hair, glasses," He said with a grimace as if he was remembering a certain part before continuing, "And Aileen had green eyes, a curvy figure, and red hair…" Sirius bolted up from his spot and thought.

"What do you suppose that means?" Sirius inquired with yet another thoughtful expression.

Remus adopted his professor expression and adjusted his imaginary glasses.

"Well it could mean that Lily has just a fetish for romance novels with a heroine that looks like her or…she's subconsciously picking books that have the handsome male counterpart as a ravishing man with black hair, hazel eyes, and glasses." Remus said plainly with an almost excited expression. Sirius' eyes widened for maybe the fifth this past hour and bounced excitedly.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" He questioned with a frenzied look in his eyes. Remus nodded slowly.

"If what you think is that Lily actually likes James then yes." The extent of the situation can be measured by the fact that Sirius Black didn't bite out a sarcastic comment but instead squealed in happiness for his best friend.

Meanwhile, Lily's POV:

I fully immersed myself in reading the latest book I bought from Hogsmeade. It was pretty juicy and for the next ten hours or so I was completely absorbed by the world that the author had created in probably more than three years. The main characters, Lilee, and Jamie are desperately in love, with Lilee once completely detested the sight of Jamie at her private school in Scotland until Jamie managed to get his act together and stop acting like a total arse who only wanted her for a shagging. I was at the part where I should've been the most riveted but something was bothering me. Soon, my eyes passed through the words without giving my brain enough time to process what I had just read. And then I realized. Why wasn't James back yet? Why wasn't James back, more specifically, with my book?

Then the slow creep of dread crept up into my thoughts and body and I marked the page of my other book, casting a notice me not charm so no one stole that book and then I'd have to start the whole thing over again. But as I was casting the simple charm, I saw out of the corner of my eyes the portrait door slam open and an irate and ruffled James Potter stepped into the Heads Common Room with a deep twisted scowl and narrowed eyes. He looked ready to kill. But I hadn't noticed that bit, all I noticed was the six inch long paperback clenched in his clasped fist.

I sat back down with a cheery smile that slipped quickly when James threw the book onto my lap and stomped in the direction of his room before pausing when I called out to him.

"What's your problem?" I called out frustrated with his behavior. Apparently that was the entirely wrong thing to say, as James spun on his heel slowly. When I could see his enraged face I couldn't help but shrink farther into my seat. Even though James and I had gotten in our fair share of explosive fights, James has never blown up at me or truly lost his temper…and it seems he finally had. And I have no idea why.

"You want to know what my problem is. My problem is you." His deep voice usually filled with joy is now filled with a trembling rage. It seemed like he was so angry he could barely manage to squeeze the words out. I gasped in surprise and furrowed my eyebrows. He said that like I had utterly betrayed him and he could barely look at me, never mind talk me. What could I possibly have done?

"What are you talking about?" I said with my words, trembling with a sudden burst of emotion. Suddenly, I found the air harder to breath and a deep sickening churning developed in my stomach. For some reason, I just couldn't bear to see James looking at me with that expression. Anyone could stare at me with unadulterated hatred, Slytherins, Black, my best friends, my parents, anyone but James. And, once again, I had no idea why I felt this way so strongly.

"Oh you know what I mean." He practically hissed at me while I rapidly blinked my eyes unsuccessfully to get the stemming tears out of my eyes. James didn't seem to notice.

"You act so high and mighty like you're better than everyone else. Then look your nose down at us lesser mortals because we happen to believe in something completely illogical and stupid like true love and love at first sight. When, in secret, you're just like everyone fucking else! What gave you the right to look down on me when you're exactly the same? What makes you any better than me?" James demanded with a fierce tone in his voice. I stood in shock at the way he was talking to me and what he was talking about. Why did he think I looked down on him? I didn't! I wasn't the arrogant one!

With that thought my shock ebbed away slowly and my resolve became anew. "What are you talking about? I don't look down on you!" I declared with a self important air. James looked a little shocked that I had managed to talk back but that slowly dissolved and he became even more furious.

"Oh really? Then why do you talk to me like I'm beneath you? 'Oh, poor James, always chasing after something he'll never get! Oh, poor James, thinking that he's the next big thing when it's clear that's been me all along! Oh, poor James, believing he's in love with me when the only reason I'd ever go on a date with him would be out of pity! Oh, poor James, believing he'll get me eventually when I'm in love with Charles! Oh, poor James, thinking-" He would've continued had I not snapped at him.

"Oh, shut up! You're making yourself seem like the victim when it's clear you're not an innocent! You claim to love me while you're flirting with other girls and probably shagging them too on the sidelines!" I yelled back at him. James scoffed audibly.

"Oh please. You and I both know that I haven't gone on date with anyone since the beginning of the year! I've barely even looked a girl's way for the whole year, let alone, fuck them! Besides, even if I dated a ton in the past that was only to, either, make you jealous or try to get my mind off you! Both of which didn't work! Do you have any idea how much it hurt to hear you insult me every day and know that I could never hate you? That I was doomed to love you for the rest of my life, for better or for worse? Do you have any idea how much it hurt every time you've rejected me, to know you'd never be mine? To know that someone else held you're affection and that someone else was holding you at night? That I might never be happy because the only girl I ever wanted, didn't want me back?" James' voice softened when he asked me all those questions. His once furious face now looked heartbroken and utterly betrayed. I felt myself feel guilt and heartbreak settle into my chest. I never knew my rejections had hurt James that bad. But, in a selfish way, I felt happy that James cared about me that much. My eyes filled with tears when I saw James hastily wipe away the tear sliding down his cheek.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" I asked with a shaky voice. James looked up from where he was staring at the floor and looked at me with a saddened expression.

"Would you have listened? And, besides, you'd only feel pity for me and I didn't want that." He said with a grim smile. I saw him glance at the corner of his eye at the book sitting on the armchair now completely forgotten. Slowly, his face returned with anger and his eyes narrowed. Finally, he spoke.

"What the fuck is up with that damn book?" He hissed. I felt startled before I remembered my anger. Had he read it?

"Did you read it, Potter?" I screeched. How dare he? That's private property! He had no right and when I had so much faith in him! God, he hasn't changed a bit!

James, no, Potter became defensive and shouted back. "And what if I did?" I glared at him with my most angry expression.

"How dare you, you jackarse? That's private property! And I thought you'd just give it up! Oh, Potter, you haven't changed a bit! Honestly, I have no idea how Marlene calls you, 'Mr. Charming'! I shouted with absolute fury. And just when I started to like him, he had to do this! But James wasn't betrayed or insulted looking; he looked startled and a little...hopeful? Oh no...Had he...?

"What did you just say?" He said with a shocked and hopeful air. I paused. Should I repeat?

"I said...that I have no idea why Marlene calls you, 'Mr. Charming.'" I responded slowly and James' confused face filled with a huge, ecstatic smile. I smiled a little despite myself. Seeing him that happy made me happy. Plus, he looked really handsome with his white teeth on full display.

Suddenly, my feet were lifted off the ground as James lifted me into his arms and twirled me in the air. I laughed loudly and James laughed joyously with me. I felt safe in his arms, as clichéd as that sounded. I knew for certain now, I loved him.

Slowly my feet were back on the ground and James wrapped his arms around me tentatively and knelt his forehead against mine when he knew I wasn't going to attack him. He was smiling and his hazel eyes were completely sparkling with happiness. I smiled brightly back, finally, he figured it out.

"So, I'm Mr. Charming? The one mentioned in the back of the book?" He said with a little frown of doubt. I immediately wanted to get that smile back on his face so I answered back absolutely truthfully.

"Yes." I said with a happy sigh as I wrapped my arms around his smooth neck. James' smile got even brighter and he slowly started to lean forward as I waited with baited breath. Finally, after what felt like minutes, our lips connected. Slow and gentle is what a first kiss between two people should be. Ours was everything and more. Filled with passion, happiness, giddiness, elation, relaxation, and...Love. Surprisingly, there was a ton of it. And I couldn't get enough.

James' lips were soft, like I imagined them to be, and moved perfectly against mine. I toyed with the hair on the back of his neck as he ran his fingers down my long red hair.

When we came back to earth to breathe, I paused to breath before immediately drawing my lips back to his. This time the kiss was more passionate. It was urgent and fast. James' body pressed against mine and I felt hot everywhere. My body was on fire but in a very good way. After ten minutes of innocent kissing, my hands clutched onto his hair as he moved us against the door of his room. My back hit the back of the door, but instead of groaning in pain, I merely moaned as James fiercely continued to kiss me with fever. I kissed him back with just as much passion and our tongues lashed against each other. Utter heaven is what it was. With our bodies completely flush against each other, I started the fumbling and bumbling job of unbuttoning James' shirt while he started to do the same. We were going way too fast but it just felt so good...

Twenty minutes later, James and I were contently cuddling on the couch in the Heads Common Room, with all clothes on. Merlin, do you think I'm a slut? We haven't even had our first date, you dirty minded people!

Suddenly, my thoughts drifted to the book. "Did you actually read the book?" I asked as I looked up from where I was resting my head on James' chest as he played with my hair. He winced and I glared suspiciously.

"Yeah. But I had good intentions. I just wanted to finally figure you out. Maybe even get a couple of tips from it..." He trailed off nervously as he waited for my reaction. But I merely chuckled and kissed him quickly on the lips.

"You were so hopeless. But then, why did you come in so angry?" I asked curiously. James seemed to stiffen and he chuckled nervously.

"Don't laugh. But when I saw that note on the back of the book about Mr. Charming, I just thought it was someone else and I got jealous of him and..." I pressed my lips together to prevent laughing. He was jealous of himself!

"And what?" I questioned as he trailed off. Then something came back...

'Oh, poor James, believing he'll ever get me eventually when I'm in love with Charles!' I heard echo in my head. Charles...why was that name familiar? Wait...Charles? Charles Hartley? The cold dangerous man in love with Aileen Montgomery?

And then it dawned on me. With a smirk, I questioned him. "James? Are you jealous of a fictional character?" I said with a light shove. He confirmed my amusement and suspicions when he responded too quickly.

"No! Why would I be jealous of a fictional character? Are you crazy? Besides, I can get you much more hot and bothered than Charles ever could get Aileen." He finished with a fake arrogant smirk. It just looked uncertain to me.

I turned his head toward me with my finger."James, you have nothing to worry about. I am not going to run away with a Charles Hartley, especially since he isn't real. Now, Mr. Charming, I might just run away with..." I said with a slow smirk as James smiled again and kissed me tenderly.

"Hey, Remus! I found something in the back of the book!" Sirius Black shouted from where he was perched on his bed with a romance novel poised in his thin fingers.

Remus jumped from where he was standing and accidentally dropped a piece of chocolate down his pants. Another piece of chocolate ruined...

"What?" Remus snapped irritably. Half his chocolate was already destroyed, couldn't Sirius quit while he was ahead?

"Come here and look, it looks like a love note from...Marlene McKinnon! Damn and we thought James had a chance!" Sirius said disappointed and Remus smacked him upside the head.

"Stop assuming everyone is lesbian! Let me see!" He demanded. Sirius handed it over with an annoyed expression. He's been getting smacked for seven years, couldn't Remus quit while he was ahead? God, that sounded wrong, Sirius thought with a giggle.

"Dearest Lillian,

I know how much you love you're macho romance novels so I thought I'd get one for your birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LILYKINS! Promise me you'll finally tell Mr. Charming how you feel! Think of it as a belated birthday present! Aileen could do it, why can't you? I hope you don't mind. I read it before I wrapped it up. Charles was such an idiot sometimes, why couldn't he see that Aileen truly loved him despite what her words might say? Couldn't he see that she was absolutely enamored with his raven messy hair? But at least it ended well, oops! Spoilers! Have fun fantasizing about you and Mr. Charming recreating page 17, wink! Give him some hugs and kisses for me, mostly hugs though, wouldn't want you to think I'm stealing you're black haired man!

XXXX,

Marlene McKinnon, your bestest mate.

PS: Make sure nobody else reads this; there are some pretty naughty scenes. ;)