Okay well I wrote another DuncanxCourtney story, I know I never finished my first one, and I probably never will, sorry): I wrote this because I was on wikipedia looking at the episodes for TDWT, and I was reading about what happened in each, and Gwen and Duncan become a couple :(((( I was really freaking pissed off to be honest, so yeah. Also its just gonna be 2 chapters, I wrote both already :D so I'm gonna post both of them up

Anyway I don't own squat

We were cleaning out all of her stuff. Everyone was looking at me sympathetically, I kept telling them I didn't care. But they didn't know it was killing me inside, especially knowing it was all my fault, all my god damn fault. Gwen came up and tired to hug me, I forcefully pushed her away, not really caring if it hurt her or not. I can't believe I actually made myself believe I like Gwen over Courtney, it was impulsive act, and I didn't care at the time. I really thought I didn't like Courtney and I was head over heels for Gwen. But how wrong I was. I really didn't know how much I meant to Courtney, not until I saw the water, drenched with blood.

At that moment, I knew it was my fault, my fault she killed herself. People tried to convince me that wasn't true, but I knew better. We were picking up clothing and books and putting them in boxes. Then I found something, her diary. I flipped through it until I got to the last entry, it was hard to make out because the ink was smeared from tears. I knew I had to go somewhere else to read so no one would notice what I was doing. I told them I was going to the bathroom and snuck out the book.

I crammed myself into the small space that was our bathroom. I opened the diary once again to that last entry. And I began to read it, knowing I would start crying:

Dear Diary,

This shall be my last entry, for I will be killing myself tonight. Why, you ask? I found out Duncan kissed Gwen. You would think this would be an irrational move to make over some boy, but he isn't some boy, he was the only one to truly love me, or so I thought. A couple weeks after I was born, both of my parents were killed in a hostage situation, but they somehow managed to save me. I wish they didn't. I was picked up by an orphanage. I have lived with many foster families, but to be honest, none of them really cared about me, let alone loved me. That's why in school I always tried to succeed, because school was all I had. People would always talk behind my back, talk about how weird I was and how I had no home. I always put up an image of that I had great self esteem and I thought I was wonderful in every way, but I never thought of myself like that, I always hated myself. I then decided to do something, try out for this god forsaken show. And just my luck, I got on it. This is where I met the man I really thought I loved, and who loved me back, Duncan. He didn't care to know about my past, so it was just like a clean slate. He truly made me feel good about myself, always poking fun at me and making me laugh. He was the first person to actually care about me, and should I say, even loved? I know we had our rough patches, but we always ended up back together. No matter what he always seemed like he loved me, and I loved that. We made it though the silly shows and finally made it to Total Drama World Tour. I was sad he left, but it made total sense to me. But I still thought we would always end up back together. Then he came back! I was so happy and excited, until I found out what happened. And now we are at the present. I've decided to kill myself because I'm quite sure that no one will love me. The one person who I thought had, really didn't. He never actually cared, it was all just a big, god damn lie. But I should've guessed that, I had convinced myself no one could ever love me, and as it turns out, no one ever can. So what is the point of living a life where you can never have love? I don't see one. So I will say farewell now, go out and steal one of the cars when we land, and find a tall bridge and jump off.

Good-bye everyone

-Courtney

Oh my god, the tears are now fully flowing down my face. The last parts really killed me, she really thought I didn't care. I loved her so much, and I can't believe I was so stupid. And I know this was all my fault, this pretty much proves it. I walked out of the bathroom with my tear drenched face. Gwen came up and once again tried to comfort me, but I completely ignored her, I ignored all the people trying to talk with me as I walked out of the plane. I began to walk towards the crime sight where she had jumped. I could've prevented all of this, I thought to myself as I began to see all of the police cars. Once I got to them I looked over the bridge, but I couldn't look for more than a few seconds.

I saw the water, I saw the water that was now covered in blood, her blood. It was all my fault, all of this. I then looked over and saw some sort of machine with a rope attached start descending towards the water. I looked down again to see someone in the water waiting for the rope. I saw he was holding something, I looked closer, it was her drowned body. I couldn't look anymore, and turned away once the tears started rolling down again. I heard the machine making noise again, and I knew that the man and her body were getting brought up. I looked over for a second, I couldn't stand looking at her, she looked so troubled, so sad and angry, and yet somehow peaceful, like all of the terrible things she had to endure were now all gone. But I took one look at her drenched body covered in bruises, cuts, and broken body parts, and looked away again. I started walking back, not wanting to be here anymore.

I came back to the plane unseen and hid outside of it, hoping no one would come out looking for me. I hid in a small forest behind where the plane landed, and slowly fell asleep.

Yeah, I know its depressing, that seems like the only way I can write things XD So it would be cool if you commented(: Gonna go put up the next chapter now!