Note: I do not own any Lilo and Stitch characters. They are all owned by Disney. The only character I do own is Wilhelmina. She's out of my own creation, so don't copy her please. Also, despite what a lot of other stories here imply, Pleakley and Jumba are NOT gay, even though some of those stories are really good. Oh, and it's just my theory of how some Plorginarians look different than others and their religious percentages I created.

"Aahhh!" Pleakley screamed in agony.

"What! What is it?" Lilo cried.

"It's not fair!" Pleakley groaned. "The new season premiere of Drastic Housewives is about to start, and the television won't turn on!" Lilo examined it for a moment, then smiled…and plugged the TV in. "Oops," Pleakley said embarrassedly. "Um, thank you, Lilo…"

"You're welcome!" she said happily. Stitch couldn't help but snicker at Pleakley, not only for the embarrassing mistake, but the fact he even watched Drastic Housewives in the first place.

Soon, the montage that showed what happened in the last episode appeared, followed by the opening credits. Just as Pleakley was getting comfortable to watch the full hour of betrayal, sex, and mystery, Jumba surged into the living room. "Pleakley!"

"Not now, Jumba!" Pleakley snapped. "I-"

"Call is for you!" Jumba interrupted. He tossed Pleakley his PIC (Portable Intergalactic Communicator), that round phone-like thing you see him talking into, especially the first movie.

"Oh no. Is it my mother?" Pleakley groaned.

But Jumba shook his head. "Is not mother. Caucasian Earth female calling, and she's, eh, what are Earth males calling them…oh yes, a babe!"

"Jumba! Shhhh!" Pleakley hissed, for he knew who it was, but he didn't want her hearing his less than subtle friend calling her a babe.

Now would probably be a good time to explain a little about the Plorginarians (or however you spell that). Most of their original ancestors were bred with the noodle-like appendages and extra legs in hopes of climbing trees faster than nearby predators. However, a smaller percentage had humanoid-like qualities, especially in the face and body, though they had three legs as well. The extra tongue (which all of them had and have today) was bred so that the more a food was savored, the more satisfying, which meant that less food had to be stored. How the one eye came around? They originally had two eyes, and were originally pagan. Their main god, Org, had only one eyeball, and since they were having a bad harvest, some were willing to gouge out one of their eyes in tribute to him, hoping he would bless their crops.

However, the ones with the humanoid-like qualities refused to do such inhumane deeds, which led to bitter conflicts. The humanoids left that part of the land, and bred their children on the other side. Today, Plorginaria is not primitive as it used to be, and resembles a modern Earth city such as Philadelphia or Boston, and no one is pagan. In fact, over half the residents are Protestant (like Pleakley), a fourth are Catholic, and a tenth are Mormon. Both the original and humanoid-like genes are in the citizens. For example, Pleakley's ancestors had the original genes, giving him his appearance. But his cousin Wilhelmina (the one on the phone at this point) had the humanoid genes, so she looked exactly like a regular Caucasian Earth female, except for a) three legs (all three are shapely to go with her lovely figure), b) two green antennae sticking out of her brown hair, and c) two purple tongues like all Plorginarians. Not being able to see her antennae, Jumba had assumed it was a regular Earth female.

"Wendy!" she said happily. "It's so good to see you!" Jumba was unable to stifle a snicker.

"Wendy?" Pleakley scowled at Jumba.

"YES, Wendy is my first name. Now please mind your own business!" Pleakley stuck a blank tape to record the episode while he went to find a place to privately talk with his cousin. He chose the most private place in the house he could think of: the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and sat in the bathtub. "So Wilhelmina," Pleakley began, "how are your studies going?"

"They're doing very well," Wilhelmina answered. Like Pleakley, she had an instinctive curiosity for other planets' cultures, especially Earth. She had recently gone back to school at the Plorginarian Community College to earn a degree in Earth Botanical and Cultural Studies."Oh Pleakley, Aunt Leslie told me about your, um, 'wedding' on Earth," Wilhelmina added. Aunt Leslie was Pleakley's mother. She obviously told Wilhelmina about the wedding fiasco involving Experiment 032. He winced in thought.

"But how long will it take you to graduate?" he asked, attempting to change the subject.

"That's what I wanted to tell you," answered Wilhelmina. "I am on my way to Earth!"

Pleakley almost dropped the phone. "What?"

"That's right!" Wilhelmina said excitedly. "To complete my thesis, I'm coming to Earth to study! But I'll need a place to stay. Do you have any suggestions?

Pleakley knew Kauai had several hotels, but it was highly unlikely Wilhelmina had any Earth money. Then he got an idea. "Why don't you come and stay with me at my Earth home?" suggested Pleakley.

"I don't know," Wilhelmina replied, "because I'd certainly wouldn't want to be a bother…"

"No bother at all!" Pleakley assured her.

"Well, fine then," answered Wilhelmina. "I should be there tomorrow by noon. You know how difficult intergalactic travel is.. See you soon!"

They hung up afterwards, and Pleakley distinctively heard a triumphant "YES!" on the other side of the door. Pleakley jerked the door open, revealing Jumba on the other side.

"Jumba Jookiba!" Pleakley fumed. "Were you eavesdropping?"

"What? Me?" Jumba said innocently. "Why would I be doing that?" But Pleakley knew very well Jumba was happy his cousin was coming, due to him having called her a "babe."

"We will have to clean out the guest room," Pleakley declared like he was a four-star general. "And I don't want you doing any of the things you normally do." Jumba looked at him curiously.

"What are you meaning?" he asked. Pleakley stared at him sternly.

"Like leaving your clothes on the floor, or any use of bodily offenses, including scratching anywhere below your neck, emissions of stomach gases out of the mouth or excretory areas, or anything else potentially disgusting or offensive. Also, next time you bathe, take your clothes with you instead of having to make one of your little risky nude dashes to our room!"

"I am not doing that when Little Girl or Larger Girl are home!" Jumba protested.

"Maybe so," Pleakley retorted, "but that doesn't mean I want to see you naked! And obviously neither will Wilhelmina.."

"Is one problem," Jumba said.

"What?"

"There is no guest room."

That hit Pleakley like a ton of bricks. "Oh dear…um…I know! I'll sleep on the couch, and she can share our room with you!" THUNK! At the thought, Jumba fainted. Pleakley had never seen him do that, and he wasn't sure if it was out of excitement or horror. "Hmmm…I'm going with excitement," Pleakley smirked to himself.