The next day didn't give Macavity much bliss. He decided to attend the morning service of the gold queen's funeral. Whether or not he was wanted there was questionable. Anyhow, the procession was being held in the morning, which was dulled in clouds and small showers of rain. He remembered Deme always liking the rain, even as a kit. The ginger tom rubbed the indent of his nose with two claws, feeling the same regret and guilt overwhelm him. He watched the procession, smiling at the roses that Griddlebone had managed to send to the Junkyard. He had gotten into Griddlebone's mind the other day and told her to make the sender anonymous. All of them were scattered around the Junkyard in brass vases. The gold reflection from them looked like Demeter's ideal center pieces.

The ginger tom sighed as he watched the Jellicles from the shadows of the Junkyard. They all saw her body being carried out, which looked better than from when he saw it, as if she was just in a deep sleep. It made him feel a little more at peace with her death until they gently put it her in the ground. He frowned, slightly coming out just to hear what was being said during the ceremony. It was simple stuff, a summary of her life; happy memories of her; how much she would be missed, and the tragedy that was that her kits wouldn't open their eyes ever to see a beautiful world with their mother, but that they would all watch the parade of life in Heavyside, and wait for everyone to meet them.

Macavity crawled forward to watch the rest, but unknown to him, he had come too far into the clearing and a Jellicle queen he'd forgotten the name of spotted him and screamed. The ginger tom's ears flattened as the all the faces turned from the disrupted solemnity. Some growled at him, others gasped and backed away from their spots. He sighed and walked forward. He had no right to be there, and he knew that. But Deme had been his friend. Didn't he deserve to see her final resting place?

Suddenly, Demeter's widower, Munkustrap strode over to him with a glare. He looked terrible in his eyes, and had obviously been crying for a long amount of time. Macavity didn't feel guilty about that. "Get out of here, Macavity!" he hissed, "You already caused her death. Must you desecrate her funeral as well?"

The Hidden Paw glared at the silver tabby. "I did not cause her death." He hissed back, though he hardly believed that it was true. He had heard about the rumors going through the tribe. Stories of him stalking her through the streets and pushing her into the road. He groaned mentally. Jellicles and their ridiculous stories. "And I'm here to pay my respects to a friend."

"You've done quite enough, haven't you? And Deme was never your friend." Munkustrap came closer to him with a scowl.

Macavity only scowled back. "You know nothing about the relationship I had with her."

"I don't care. You're insulting her now by showing up at this ceremony uninvited. Now get the hell out of here!"

Macavity ignored him. "After everything that happened, you still have no idea about what she meant to me. You really are an idiot, Munk." He looked at him with the smallest sense of genuine depression. "Just… I never wanted anything to happen to her. Let me see her, and then I'll leave…"

Munkustrap glared at him intensely, but through some barely detectable fragment of sensitivity glowed in his yellow eyes. The Jellicle Protector hesitated for a few moments, but eventually let go of a sigh. "Fine. But then go away." The ginger tom nodded in agreement, and then walked past him quickly. He felt the silver tabby following him and keeping a wary eye on him.

Macavity ignored the hostile pairs of eyes and hisses as he walked up to the peaceful body of his lost love. She did beautiful, even in death. He was trying to think of something he could tell her. Something he could say…

Well, Deme… I don't really know what I can tell you… uh… I apologize for pretty much killing you? He shook his head, feeling silly, but got serious, knowing this was the last thing he'd say to her face. I never really got why we couldn't have been together… we could have been… so much together… But I understand now, what you sacrifice for love. I had to sacrifice… my sanity, basically, and you sacrificed… yourself. I'll always feel like it should have been me under that car. I would have died, Deme. Though I wonder if our roles had been switched… if you would have let the car hit me… I would have saved you, Deme… I wish I could have saved you…but… I suppose that's not my only regret. I loved you… I wish I could have proven it. If you could only open those gorgeous green eyes of yours, and see that I'm not lying… You could always tell if I lied or not, just by looking at my face. You… you're probably… the best thing that ever happened to me… And because of my stupidity, I lost you… Macavity felt himself well up. Don't… don't worry about me, though. I'll be fine … Maybe I'll just… sit in my den the rest of my life… watch Soap Operas… He smirked at her. Ah, Dems… just… please forgive me… Not just because of this, but for everything… for hurting you all these years, and the family we once shared… Promise me that you'll look down at me in Heavyside with just a little less hate, knowing how remorseful I really am… … I … I love you, Deme. And my largest regret was never letting you know it… The ginger tom cleared his throat and brushed his eyes. He was sure Demeter would be laughing if she saw him now: The Napoleon of Crime, crying for a queen… Well… I'll… I'll shut up now…

He sighed and stepped away from her, but couldn't move his eyes from her body. The hidden paw quickly grabbed one yellow rose from a brass vase, and placed it on her chest, and between her arms. His paws gently touched her cold skin. Instead of recoiling in sadness, Macavity quickly kissed the palm of his paw and placed it on her lips. He'd finally said his good-bye…

~^..^~

A/N: Okay, this was very hard to write out, and I made myself sad by doing it. But that's the end! *sniff* I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it!