Inertia Creeps: Epilogue

The hall was decorated with paper snowflakes and garlands of fairy lights. Each table had a centrepiece of orchids, white and pink, surrounded by shining silver leaves. The plates were being taken away and the tables pushed to the sides to make more room for the dance floor. The hall was swarming with people and they swayed to the music, some in clusters, some in pairs, dressed in all their finery.

Ciel tugged at his tie, unused to having something sitting so close to his throat. A hand slapped his away, adjusted the tie once more.

'Stop messing with it, it took me long enough to get it done in the first place,' Sebastian chided. While Ciel wore an ill-fitting suit, he was dressed down in jeans and a jumper. A foam sling pinned his right arm down to his chest, thick bandages knotted around his shoulder. The wound was already beginning to itch, in the early stages of healing, but he'd never have full use of the arm again. Too much damage to the nerves, the Doctors had said.

'I don't see why I had to wear this,' Ciel snapped, eyeing his reflection in the glass panes of the door. It was a cheap rental tux, meant for someone broader in the shoulders, and he thought he looked like a child playing dress up. Having to roll up the pant legs and seeing Sebastian's smirk had been the final nail in the coffin of his dignity. 'I'm not planning on staying long. Anything would have done.'

'You're gate-crashing,' Sebastian pointed out, leaning against the pillar of the balcony, 'The least you can do is not look like a pile of rags.'

True enough, it was a grand sort of place, as expected of the Midfords. Anywhere that required a ten minute drive from the front gates necessitated a bit more than a cheap tracksuit from Primark.

Ciel pulled at the shirt collar, taking a deep breath.

'I won't be long.'

'I'll be waiting here.'

He ducked through the balcony doors.

There were a few familiar faces among the guests, though Ciel couldn't put a name to more than a quarter of them. Between the years that had passed and his childhood indifference to them, they were all as good as strangers now, bar a couple.

He spotted her parents first. Alexis and Francis Midford, hardly touched by the years. Just the sight of his Aunt made Ciel's stomach clench, that childish intimidation he had always felt surging back full force. He lowered his head, as though that would hide him should they look his way, and searched the crowd for another face.

It wasn't hard to find her, star of the show that day. He stopped, watching from across the hall as she spoke to her brother. Her hands waved animatedly, a beaming grin on her face.

In her letter, she had spoken about her fantasies of the day. Unlike her, Ciel had never imagined what their wedding day may have looked like. He had been too young, his attention span too short to pay much mind to their parent's jokes. But if he had imagined it, that's what she would have looked like. The white dress, her blonde curls half pinned up and half left down, the emerald jewellery bringing out her eyes. All of it.

Ciel tugged at the tie again, his throat too tight. A deep inhale, two, three, four, then a slow exhale. What sort of questions would she ask? Would she even want to see him after all these years? What if she called her parents over, her husband, or god forbid, her brother? Ciel didn't want to deal with any of them, wasn't sure he could.

With an annoyed groan, Ciel pulled the tie undone, stuffing it into his pants pocket. Enough thinking. He forced himself to walk on, one foot in front of the other, across the hall.

Edward spotted Ciel first. It took a minute for recognition to dawn, then he spluttered, gesturing over. By the time Ciel reached them, Lizzie had turned around.

'What the hell are you - They let you out?' Edward demanded, eyes wide. He moved to stand between Ciel and Lizzie, but she put a hand on his chest, giving him pause.

'Sorry to come uninvited,' Ciel said, hoping it didn't sound as awkward to her as it did to him. A silence followed, Lizzie just staring at him blankly, that was even more awkward. '... I got your letter.'

Edward looked between them, giving Lizzie's wrist a reassuring squeeze. The glare he sent Ciel was a lot less fiery than it had been when they were children, more confused than anything else now.

Lizzie looked down at Ciel's feet.

'Are they comfortable?'

It was an odd choice of question for their first reunion in almost eight years, but Ciel had half an idea just where the question was going. He answered with a poorly masked grimace.

'About as comfortable as this conversation.'

Lizzie finally smiled, her dimples as prominent as Ciel remembered. She held out her hand and he took it, leading her to the dance floor. He manoeuvred them so they were out of sight of the balcony. The last thing he needed was Sebastian being witness to this.

'Do you remember the steps?'

'No.'

'Don't worry if you step on my feet a little bit.'

'Not sure I could find your feet through all that fabric.'

Lizzie led, her arm curled around his waist, his on her shoulder, and their hands joined together. Step, one, two. Step, one, two. It was a good few beats before he accidentally trod on her toes, and she was kind enough to only wince a little.

'What happened to your eye?'

It wasn't the first question Ciel had expected her to ask, but it was a gentle start, at least.

'One of the other patients didn't warm to me right away,' he answered honestly, 'He felt bad about it later, though.'

'That's awful.' Lizzie stared at the eyepatch, horrified. Ciel had almost forgotten what a normal reaction was like. If just that bothered her enough to make her go pale, he couldn't imagine ever telling her what the staff had been like. 'Why didn't they stop him? Something like that shouldn't have been able to happen!'

'No, it shouldn't.' Ciel shrugged, looking down at their feet. Around them, others danced the same waltz, more than a few curious glances shot their way as they wondered who the unfamiliar man with the bride was. 'Was your bouquet orchids, like you wanted?'

Her hand tightened around his, but she allowed the subject to be changed, not pressing any further. He was grateful for that. The ongoing police enquiry was hardly as sensitive.

'Yes. Ann put in a good word with the florist from her wedding.' Lizzie's eyes brightened. 'Did she tell you yet?'

'About the baby?' Ciel nodded, smiling faintly. 'She must be quite far along now, right? Does she know the due date?'

'Sometime in mid-February, I think! Arthur's already thought of a dozen names. There was a silly one that began with M that Ann vetoed right away.'

The song changed. Something slower took its place and the dancers slowed too. Lizzie placed her arms around Ciel's neck. She was taller than him still, would have been even without her heels. He put his hands on her waist, mimicking her slow sway.

'You should show me the other letters one day,' Ciel said quietly, making her have to lean down to hear, 'I'll fake enthusiasm about your friends I don't know and all the things you don't remember writing about.'

Lizzie's answering smile was a dazzling thing.

'And I'll pretend to believe that enthusiasm. I meant what I said, you know. About wanting to know you, whoever you are now.'

Ciel looked off to the side. A dark-haired man was watching them, head cocked to the side. His tux was finer than those around him, his tie matching the colour of Lizzie's jewellery. He didn't approach them, but he met Ciel's eye curiously.

'I'm not sure you'll like the man I've become,' Ciel said, turning back to Lizzie, 'I'm not sure I like him very much.'

Lizzie just shrugged, an imitation of Ciel's earlier apathetic response.

'That's for me to decide, don't you think?'

The song ended. They pulled away from each other, both wearing a similar kind of half smile. They kept hold of one another's hands for a moment, palms warm.

'Are you happy, Lizzie?' Ciel asked.

There was no hesitation.

'Yeah, I am.' She squeezed his hand. 'Can you be?'

Instinctively, Ciel looked over to the balcony doors, to the figure silhouetted through the glass.

'I think I could be,' he replied, 'In a sense of the word.'

They let go of each other. Lizzie looked over Ciel's shoulder, eyes tracking someone across the room. She moved to stand behind him, blocking him from view.

'Ann's here. Don't suppose you'll say hello?'

More questions, more answers, the inevitable offer of a home she'd make. Her husband and her baby to come. Happy families. Ciel's throat felt tight again, even though the tie was still in his pocket.

'Another time,' he said, then after a beat, 'Maybe February.'

'I'll introduce you to Leo then.' Of all the things to do, she stuck out her fist, her little finger extended. Ciel sighed, pulling a face, but that just made her grin all the more. 'Promise!'

Every inch unwilling, Ciel hooked his own little finger around hers, the pinkie promise made.

'February?'

'February.'

'You're verrry underdressed, Michaelis.'

Sebastian didn't even jump. Not that he was expecting that voice to chirp far too close to his ear, but it wasn't entirely unexpected either. He'd had a feeling the car was being followed, but with Ciel proving to be quite an antsy driver, he hadn't thought it wise to mention it. No doubt they'd have ended up wrapped around a tree.

'Gate-crashers don't get a plus one,' Sebastian replied, turning his head to face the newcomers, 'And I didn't much fancy trying to get this arm into a suit.'

Grey and Phipps were very much dressed for the occasion. Perhaps a little overdressed. Both of them wore white suits, though Phipps' was a little more conservative than Grey's. No visible weapons that Sebastian could make out, unless Grey planned to stab him with a skewer from one of the hors d'oeuvres he'd swiped. Sebastian wouldn't rule out the possibility.

'Excuses, excuses. How is the arm, by the way? Sounded like a nasty scratch.'

Grey hopped up to sit on the low stone wall, while Phipps leaned against it, staring intently at Sebastian's uninjured arm.

'You know there's a hole in your jumper, don't you?' Phipps observed, frowning.

'Is there?' Sebastian didn't even look down to try and find it. 'How terrible.'

'Now, now! Enough chatter. We can't hang about. John's waiting out front with the car, and if we leave him too long, he'll mess around with the radio stations. I'm not listening to Juice FM again.' Grey finished sucking a cocktail stick clean then flicked it away into the gardens below. He nudged Phipps with his foot. 'Give it to him, he's with the guy anyway.'

'I'd rather give it to the addressee directly,' Phipps objected, but he pulled the envelope out of his jacket's inner pocket regardless, 'Make sure you give it to Phantomhive.'

It was a plain white envelope with C. Phantomhive inked neatly upon the front. Nothing else embellished it, no stamp or return address. Sebastian took it gingerly, waiting for the other foot to drop.

It didn't. Letter delivered, Phipps and Grey moved to leave, not even glancing back at Sebastian.

'That's it?' Sebastian couldn't help but ask, 'No ominous warnings. No threats. No bodily harm. Just a letter?'

Grey spun around on one heel to face Sebastian again.

'When have we ever harmed someone?' he asked, hand pressed to his chest in mock offense, 'I can personally attest to never raising a hand against anyone, except in self-defence. You, Phipps?'

'My hands are clean,' he replied easily, 'John's too. We can't speak for the other members of staff, but we performed our roles as instructed, causing no harm to anyone.'

Sebastian looked down at the letter, the feel of the expensive paper beneath his fingertips.

'And what exactly was your role?'

Phipps continued to leave as though Sebastian hadn't spoke, but Grey walked backwards, a wicked grin twisting his mouth.

'We were observers, Michaelis.'

And then they were gone. There was a sense of finality in seeing them disappear around the corner, in seeing them out of the walls and uniform of St. Victoria's. It took every ounce of self-control he still possessed for Sebastian not to follow after them and make certain that they had driven away. Even more to not tear the envelope open and read the letter.

It was another five minutes before Ciel returned, looking less tired than Sebastian had ever seen him. He stared at the letter he was given, finger running along the envelope's seam, but rather than open it, he just stuck it in his pocket.

'There's a couple more stops we need to make,' Ciel said, walking down the steps, Sebastian at his side, 'But first, I'm getting out of this ridiculous suit.'

It was a tricolour Volkswagon Beetle, not quite the oldest model, but far from new. It wasn't tricolour by design, but as it had passed through numerous owners and been involved in numerous accidents, it had become the Frankenstein's monster of cars. The bonnet was blue, the sides red and the boot was yellow. Even the upholstery didn't match. The front seats were brown leather, the back seats white. At least the front seats had seat belts to boast of, though Sebastian had to hold his in place to stop it snapping back against the side of the car.

It proved its worth when Ciel misjudged how much pressure he was putting on the accelerator and the Beetle's blue bonnet crashed right into a tent pole.

'Whose bright idea was it for the person with one eye to drive?!'

'I made the mistake of thinking you would keep that eye open.'

'That thing came out of nowhere.'

'Ciel, we drove across a flat field for a good five minutes. It hardly jumped out at you.'

The tent the car had collided with was still standing, though at somewhat of an angle now. It was about as patchwork as the car itself. Different coloured fabrics all crudely stitched together, towering above them and billowing in the strong Winter wind.

'Ciiiiiiiel!'

That was all the warning Ciel got before he was crashed into, arms wrapping tightly around his shoulders and a greasy face pressed against his.

'What is that? You're getting it all over me,' Ciel groused, struggling in Soma's hold. Purple face paint was rubbing off on Ciel's cheek, Soma's elaborate swirls all smudged. 'Gerroff.'

Soma laughed, letting go.

'How you feeling?' It was said with a smile, but the worry in Soma's eyes was plain to see. He and Freckles had gotten out relatively scot-free. Ciel and Sebastian, not quite so lucky. 'You got your inhaler on you?'

Ciel patted his pants pocket, the comforting weight of the bulge there.

'And your arm getting on alright?' Soma asked, peering around from behind Ciel. Sebastian just smiled politely, tapping the sling as though that were an answer by itself. Soma didn't press further. He couldn't quite look Sebastian in the eye anymore.

Soma led them away from the large tent towards a trio of caravans across the field. Clothes lines were strung between each other, colourful dresses and frilled shirts left out to dry. The canopies of each caravan clustered together, and beneath their shade, a mishmash of outdoor chairs were left. It didn't resemble the arrangement of the leisure room, as intentionally different as could be.

'Hey, Smile! Black! Wonderin' when you'd show your faces,' Dagger greeted cheerfully, jumping out of his deckchair to clap them both on the back. Sebastian just about managed to hide the wince.

The others called out too. Beast must have done Soma's make-up as she was surrounded by face paint and the like, swiping a brush meticulously over Freckles' left eye. Soma pulled a chair up beside Agni, who shot them a smile while trying to untangle strands of fairy lights. Snake sat on the floor beside him, intent on unknotting the other end.

'Is Joker about?' Ciel asked when all the hellos and how are yous had been exchanged. He'd been asked four times how his chest was getting on in the colder weather, if his head was healing up alright, and he'd ran out of ways to respond. He wasn't ungrateful for the concern, but attempting to reciprocate it just got him flustered.

'He's inside, just over there,' Freckles replied, inclining her head towards the caravan at Ciel's back. He nodded his thanks, leaving Sebastian with the others to head inside.

Though they were small, the caravans were very homely. It looked like each could house three people, and their presence was etched into every fine detail. The caravan Ciel entered was without a doubt Freckles' and Beast's. He could see Freckles in the discarded sweet wrappers, Beast in the neatly hung outdoor clothes. Their first taste of luxury in years, but they approached it modestly.

'That ain't a problem. Just so long as it's not a hospital, alright?' Joker's voice drifted back from the first room on the left, the door ajar. Ciel didn't bother knocking, just stepping inside.

Joker and Tanaka sat in the corner, heads bowed together. In the bed lay Wendy, neck wrapped in bandages, an IV standing tall at her side. Her eyes were closed, but her chest rose and fell rhythmically.

'Smile.' Joker's look wasn't entirely surprised. He rose from his seat, his right sleeve hanging empty. His colour was much better than the last time Ciel had seen him. He was recovering from the amputation well. 'Lookin' good. Black with you?'

'He's outside. We won't be staying long, got another stop after this one.'

Ciel glanced at Tanaka, who smiled placidly and gave a little nod.

'I'll wait outside. It's good to see you well, Phantomhive.'

Ciel didn't reply, waiting until the door had shut behind Tanaka before sitting in the seat he had vacated.

'So. A circus.'

Joker's grin was somewhat bashful. He sat back down, one leg folded under him. Beast had already gotten to his face, Ciel noticed, though the streak across his eye was teal rather than purple. It looked like an exaggerated teardrop.

'Bit of a childhood dream of mine. Always fancied myself a clown. People seemed to agree,' he snickered, 'Should be fun, y'know? We'll start out here, find our footin', test out some acts. Then when we've got it down, we'll pick up sticks and get on the road.'

Ciel smiled. He couldn't imagine Joker, or any of the others, standing still for the time being. Never mind in London, where their faces were known, the papers plying them with pity. They were already an attraction. Why not charge for it?

'And Tanaka is funding all of this? Guilt certainly is lucrative,' Ciel said. The same offer had been extended to him during his stay at the hospital, the weeks following the fire. Though Ciel hadn't been present for Tanaka's declaration, Freckles filled him in on the details, and while Ciel didn't mistrust the old man, he certainly didn't trust him either. Ignorance was little excuse for the things that had been done to them. No assurances of stability would sway that.

'You got that right. He's gonna be hands off for now, we said. A weekly visit is what we agreed. I don't dislike him,' Joker said, 'And I don't completely blame him. We'll see how things go. Maybe get him jugglin' for us in a coupla months, eh?'

'You certainly won't be juggling anymore. What's your act going to be?'

'I have other skills! Did you know I'm actually pretty flexible? I can lick my elbow. I could be the troupe's contortionist.'

Ciel resisted the urge to ask for a demonstration.

'I have always thought you were rather backwards.'

Joker laughed, then pressed a hand over his mouth, looking to Wendy. The noise hadn't woken her. She didn't even stir.

'How's she doing?' Ciel asked quietly, looking over his shoulder. She had always been small, but she looked even smaller amid the blankets. He'd never seen her with her hair down before, but it spilled across the pillow, free of its braid.

'She's in a stable condition. She woke up last week, when she was still in the hospital. Freaked out so bad, they had to sedate her. None of us liked that. Tanaka got 'em to let us bring her here, on the condition that a carer comes by every day. Nice lady, called Paula. Could be worse.'

Ciel nodded. He'd be lying if he claimed to have been overly worried, but Wendy had certainly been on his mind since finding out what had happened. Jumbo and Drocell's absences too. Could be worse, definitely an accurate assessment, but things could have been much better too.

'You could stay, y'know.' It took Ciel a moment to register that Joker was still talking to him, it was said so quietly, his eyes fixed on Wendy. 'You don't have to perform or nothin'. Can't imagine you on a tightrope. Just... do your bit behind the scenes, I dunno, book keepin' or somethin' like that. It... feels weird for you not to be with us. You're one of us.'

'I am one of you,' Ciel replied, leaning forward in his seat, 'Whether I'm here or not.'

Joker laughed, but it was quiet now, more an exhale than anything else. He held out his hand between them, and after a beat, Ciel took it. A firm handshake.

'True enough. Just try to remember you've always got a place with us.'

Ciel let go first.

'I'll bear that in mind.'

'Don't be a stranger, Smile.'

They'd been driving for about three hours. Sebastian fell asleep as the coast rushed by the window, at least half confident that Ciel could manage the motorway without needing any instructions, and when he next opened his eyes, they were on a country lane lined with trees. The sky was dark, but that was little indication of the time in mid-Winter.

'Just a little after four,' Ciel said quietly, before Sebastian had a chance to ask, 'We're almost there. Saw a sign a bit back.'

Almost where, Sebastian hadn't the faintest idea. The wedding reception hadn't been too much of a surprise, and he'd assumed they'd visit the others at some point, but Ciel was being awfully tight-lipped about their final destination. They were far away from London by now, at least that much was certain.

'Did you stop for petrol?' Sebastian looked over at the gage. It was poised around the middle. Wherever they were going better have a station they could fill up at.

'We'll get some on the way back.' Ciel shrugged, adjusting his hands on the wheel. 'You can ask those questions now, if you want.'

Sebastian rose an eyebrow, 'Questions?'

'It's later now, isn't it?'

Sebastian frowned, puzzled for a moment, before catching on. He leaned back, getting more comfortable in his seat. He could see his breath a bit, the air in the car frigid, so reached out to fiddle with the little fans on the dashboard.

'I came to get you like we planned,' he began, 'But when I came to the ward, the lights in the hall went out. Then when I tried my keycard, I couldn't open the ward door. The next day, Tanaka let slip that you'd gone missing. So, what's the story?'

Sebastian already knew about Noah Kelvin lurking in the loft like some Bronte style ghoul, but he knew about it from the police and newspaper reports, not from Ciel himself. As far as Sebastian was concerned, if it wasn't told to him by Ciel then the information was void.

'So it was the lights for you too, huh?' Ciel shook his head, lip curling. 'I was getting impatient waiting for you. You were taking your time showing up -'

'I was perfectly punctual. Early, if anything,' Sebastian objected mildly, 'But go on.'

Ciel shot him an annoyed look.

'Anyway, you were late. When the door finally opened, it obviously wasn't you. Wasn't anybody. No one was there. But the lights in the corridor were on, so I went to check it out. My bedroom door locked behind me.'

'I could have predicted that would happen.'

'Yes, Sebastian. If only you'd been there. You know, like we planned you would. I'm sure everything would have turned out very differently.'

'For one, I wouldn't have burned the whole place down.'

'That was an accident!' Ciel snapped. Sebastian gave him a nudge so he'd keep his eye on the road. He had a bad enough track record of ramming into things even when he was watching where he was going. 'But I'll get to that. Anyway, I was locked out of my room and then the lights in the corridor started going out. One by one, clearly intentional. So I followed them. Not the wisest move I've ever made, I admit, but it seemed a good idea at the time.'

'I'm sure.'

'You've heard the rest from the police reports, right?'

'I've heard what they have to say. I'd rather hear it from you.'

Ciel nodded, an approving look in his eye. If he'd been fishing for a particular answer there, Sebastian was sure he'd given the right one.

So Ciel told him. From following the trail of lights, to the unknown loft of the institute, to the fake Third Chairman. He told him the things he hadn't told the police or the other patients, like how he'd known Kelvin from before the institute, and most importantly, about the cameras recording everything that transpired within St. Victoria's walls.

'So... did you start the fire to destroy the evidence?' Sebastian asked, puzzled. Everything else he understood, but destroying the evidence was only hindering their own side in the ongoing investigation.

Ciel went quiet at the question. At first, Sebastian thought he was just considering his words, but when he looked over, he saw Ciel's lips were pursed and his cheeks were coloured.

'... You did say it was an accident. How do you accidentally burn down a building?' Sebastian smirked.

'Look, I didn't realize the curtains were so close to the wiring. With all that water, who would guess a fire would start?!' Ciel exclaimed, flustered.

So Ciel told him about Angela and Ash, and the end they had met. Of all the reactions, he hadn't expected laughter. Hysterical at that.

'Oh, I'm so glad we can laugh at each other's murders now,' Ciel said deadpan, shaking his head, 'I'm so happy we've reached that point, Sebastian.'

'You electrocuted them, both of them! Who even thinks of that? You had a pipe.' Sebastian wiped his eyes, shining with mirth. 'Points for showmanship, but good lord, you could have gone about that easier.'

'Clearly I'm in the wrong for not wanting to bludgeon people to death.'

'I think we're both going to have to hold back on the moral judgements from now on, Ciel. Neither of us really has a leg to stand on,' Sebastian pointed out, laughter dying down. Though the words were sobering, they didn't weigh on him as they should have, as they would have done before.

He scrutinized Ciel's expression to see if they weighed on him. His fingers clenched the steering wheel a little tighter, but apart from that, there was little change. Just acceptance of the fact.

'You're not wrong,' Ciel said after a moment, staring ahead at the dark road, 'We're almost there.'

The Beetle indicated left and turned onto a dirt road that wound between the oaks. The trees were so thick that it wasn't until they pulled up at the mouth of the forest that Sebastian saw the town.

It was an idyllic little place, with birch wood houses, greenery on every corner, a tall clock tower at its centre. The sort of place that would be found on postcard photographs. An iron and flower arch stood at its entrance, Welcome To Renbon carved into a hanging sign.

They climbed out of the car, eyeing the empty streets ahead. Lights were on in the houses, but no one walked the lanes, no cars on the roads, no people to be seen at all. Only the wind howled down the streets.

'They've fixed it up a lot in eight years,' Ciel muttered, more to himself than to Sebastian, then rose his voice to say, 'We lived at the other end of the town. Most of these houses are new, must've been built after the fire.'

'Another fire?'

Ciel smirked, turning away from the town to face the forest.

'People are going to start labelling me a pyromaniac at this rate.'

Ciel walked off towards the trees and Sebastian followed, though he couldn't help looking over his shoulder a few times. If he really squinted, he could make out the line where the new town ended and the old town began, the buildings there still blackened.

The snow had fallen heavier down North. London had been hit hard at first, but it had soon turned to sleet, and when they had left that morning, there was little more than patches. In Renbon's forest, the ground was still blanketed thickly. The cold bled through Sebastian's shoes, his toes going numb after the first ten minutes of walking.

Ciel didn't complain about the cold, but he rubbed his chest with a frown every now and then, taking slower, deeper breaths. Sebastian noticed his hand constantly straying to the inhaler in his pocket and wondered if it was just from the cold or because of where they were, Renbon stealing Ciel's breath from him.

It took about twenty minutes to reach the end of the trees. A clearing opened up before them, a dilapidated little play area at its centre. A rusted slide, swings missing their seat or thrown over the top of the bar, a roundabout lurching off its axis. A health and safety nightmare.

The snow around the park was undisturbed. Not a single child's footprint broke the swathe of white. Sebastian had never seen a play area without a single child in it before, even when the weather was bad, and it had a ghostly quality. The cold pricked at the nape of his neck.

'My parents moved to Renbon when they found out they were having me. They were both very young, and their families disapproved. Told them they didn't have the stability or money, or so I heard from my Aunt. She was the one who found them a house here. I suppose that's why she feels so responsible for me, has kept visiting me all these years. I've never blamed her, but I don't suppose that matters when she blames herself.'

Sebastian jumped when Ciel began to speak. He hadn't said a word the whole walk through the forest, and in the quiet of the clearing, his voice seemed louder than it was. He walked through the creaky gate, wandering across the play area to the swings. There was one that still had its seat, and he lowered himself onto it carefully, looking up at its structure as it groaned. The swing held, and he kicked his feet absently, disturbing the snow.

Sebastian didn't risk it, standing beside the swing set.

'You don't have to tell me this,' he said, watching Ciel sway slowly on the swing, 'I don't need to know everything.'

'I don't have to, no. But I will. You deserve to have all the information, however irrelevant it is now.'

They watched each other, equally as guarded. A part of Sebastian didn't want to know. It would be the final nail in the coffin, the last and strongest of the chains binding Sebastian to Ciel.

Ciel was offering it, his patient quiet allowing Sebastian to chance to refuse, to take the step back and keep the small distance between them. And Sebastian considered refusing. Whatever would come next, he couldn't imagine a life of safety for either of them, not with the way they were now, the things they had done.

But he couldn't imagine tomorrow without Ciel, either. He knew what Sebastian had done, who he had become. He felt the responsibility of that and had refused to look away from the reality. No, this information, this last part of himself that Ciel was offering, it wasn't what would bind them. They had been bound since the moment Sebastian had taken Ciel off of the ward to save Joker, when Ciel had tied their wrists together with a torn strip of his shirt.

Sebastian stepped closer, leaning his hip against the frame of the swings, then nodded.

Ciel didn't smile, but the ice that had entered his eye began to thaw.

'Renbon was a haven for ten years. There was no crime to speak of, not so much as a child stealing sweets from the corner shop. Nobody wanted for anything. Prices were low, production was high. It was an agricultural village, so they supplied to all the neighbouring towns. The community was very tight-knit. Everybody knew each other. Father used to say you could leave the front of your house off and know that nobody would steal from you. And it was true. They loved it here, my parents, and so did I. Their families saw they'd been wrong, they all made up, but my parents didn't want to leave here. It was just so perfect.'

Ciel spoke with a detached calm, as though narrating someone else's life. Perhaps that's how he saw it, Sebastian mused, like his pre-St. Victoria's self was someone he used to know. An old acquaintance and nothing more. Maybe it made it easier.

'Too perfect?' Sebastian suggested when Ciel seemed unsure how to continue. His brows were furrowed and he was rubbing his chest again. 'What changed after the tenth year?'

Ciel nodded, latching onto the questions to continue.

'Far too perfect. People aren't that kind, that generous, without getting something in return. I didn't know it back then. Growing up in that sort of environment, it made me naive. I'd believe whatever I was told, trust everyone I met, do as I was asked. It was the way of the place. Everything was about community. You existed as part of a unit, as part of Renbon.'

'Sounds like a cult,' Sebastian interjected, wrinkling his nose.

'It was a cult,' Ciel agreed, 'But I didn't know that yet. My parents were only just beginning to suspect it during the tenth year too. Things changed in the tenth year. The villagers began to get restless. Sales plummeted. There was a flood that ruined the vegetation. And then the mayor committed suicide.'

'Where was Kelvin in all of this?' Sebastian asked, 'He was a family friend, you said?'

'Well, friend. He thought so. He was our neighbour. I don't know what their relationship was before I was born, but as I remember it, Mother didn't like him. The only time I remember seeing her uncomfortable was when he was around. It was instinct, I suppose. He didn't do anything, but she didn't trust him. Father grew to be the same. But by that point, he'd already insinuated himself into our lives. You didn't stop associating with someone at Renbon. It just wasn't done. Everybody got along, and I see now that wasn't so much a fact as it was a rule.'

'This is all a bit Orwellian. Was there a council of elders in this village too?'

It lacked the mocking bite the words suggested. Sebastian just didn't like the distant haze washing over Ciel's face, the wheeze entering his words. A bit of levity seemed needed, but he also nudged Ciel's pocket with his foot.

Ciel pulled the inhaler out, taking a suck then holding his breath. His fingers tapped against his leg, counting the seconds until he could exhale. A few more times, and then he was ready to continue.

'Can't exactly give them points for originality,' Ciel agreed, 'Dystopias masquerading as utopias have been done to hell and back. But that's how it was. It wasn't like there was a group of people enforcing the way of life. It was just... learned. Most of the people in Renbon had been born and raised there. They didn't know any different. And my parents had been in a bad way, struggling to find a place to start their life together, so when they found Renbon, they did whatever they could to fit in too. It wasn't harmful, that way of life, not until the tenth year. And by then, Renbon was their home. They both had jobs, friends, a mortgage. The bad came so gradually, by the time they recognized it for what it was, it was too late.'

'And what was the bad? What happened in the tenth year?'

Ciel drew on the inhaler again, then put it back in his pocket. He rocked on the swing gently, staring out at the forest.

'If you found it cliché so far, you'll roll your eyes at the next part,' he said, attempting a wry smile. It didn't quite succeed. 'You called them a cult. That's... accurate. Very accurate. Not in the sense that they worshipped a specific deity. It wasn't really religious in nature. Rather, they worshipped an idea. The idea of community. The greater good. That everyone had to work together to maintain the happiness they had in Renbon. And for that goal, sometimes a sacrifice had to be made. Not to appease any god, but for nature itself.'

Sebastian looked at the ground, pulling at the foam of his sling. He had half an idea what was coming next, but he didn't interrupt this time. Ciel wasn't struggling with what to say anymore.

'I wasn't chosen for any grand reason, despite what Kelvin seemed to believe. It was simply because our family was the newest to Renbon, and they decided it was our opportunity to pay our dues. To thank the community for the happiness they had given us so far. They were very polite about it, letting my parents know a few days in advance.' Ciel snorted derisively. 'I don't remember very clearly what happened between the notice and that day, but they must have been preparing. They withdrew all their money from the bank, bought a cheap second-hand car, got in touch with the Midfords, friends of the family, to arrange staying with them for a time. All that arranging, but it fell apart when Kelvin found out what they were doing.'

'If Kelvin... cared for three of you, in a sense of the word, then why did he interfere?' Sebastian asked when a pause developed, 'Why didn't he let the three of you escape?'

'Because he was as brainwashed by the community as everybody else. He saw my being chosen as an honour. And when my parents were going to run away, in his eyes, they were robbing me of that honour.' Ciel shrugged, kicking up the snow with more force. 'In short, he was a lunatic. And that's coming from me.'

Sebastian snorted softly.

'So he told the others about their plan. What then?'

'Then it was the night it was going to happen. I remember Mother waking me up. She had me put my coat on over my pyjamas, and I remember thinking how strange that was, that we were going out and I wasn't even properly dressed. Father carried me out the door, and they made for the forest. I think they must have had the car waiting on the road. They couldn't have it in the town, because people would have noticed. Nobody really owned a car except for the farmers. Anyway, we went through the wood. We weren't walking a few minutes before the voices came.'

Ciel stood up from the swing, blowing on his chapped hands. Sebastian placed his good hand over Ciel's, rubbing some warmth into them.

'I don't really remember what happened then. Mother left first. I still don't know whether she meant to reason with them or just stall them. Either way, she ran back, and Father kept going with me. When they began to catch up, Mother wasn't with them, and Father put me down. He... He gave me his ring, and told me to wait for them in the park. That if anyone else came, I was to run away. I didn't understand what was going on, where she'd gone, where he was going, why everything had suddenly gotten so frightening. It was snowing and it was cold and I waited in this park until I couldn't breathe from the chill and passed out. When I woke up, I was back in Renbon, in the town hall.'

Sebastian's hand stilled over Ciel's. It stopped rubbing and just squeezed. He stepped closer to Ciel, blocking him from the strong wind blowing through.

Ciel was still speaking with that blank voice, but he reached for the inhaler again. A nerve was jumping in his jaw.

'I won't go into detail. They hurt me. They wore masks, but I knew them all. I'd grown up with them. One of them was a teacher from the school. He was the one with the knife. I kept asking where my parents were but they wouldn't speak to me. Even when I screamed, they wouldn't answer. The fire wasn't on purpose, but I can't say I'm sorry. I saw the knife coming down and I struggled, knocked over one of the candle holders, and the place just went up.'

Ciel breathed in deeply through his nose, leaning his forehead against Sebastian's chest. Sebastian wasn't sure if his shaking was just from the cold. He placed his good arm around Ciel's shoulders, uncertain whether the touch was welcome, whether it was the right thing to do. Ciel didn't lean into it, but he didn't move away either.

'I got out. They didn't. And I'm not sorry.'

'I lost the ring,' Sebastian cut in. Why then, he didn't know, but he suddenly needed to say it. 'Faustus stole it, and even when I could have picked it up, I got distracted by the siren. I'm sorr -'

'Don't apologize to me. And I won't apologize to you.' Ciel straightened up, meeting Sebastian's eyes. 'I waited in this park until I knew they weren't coming and then I waited even longer. And then I was in St. Victoria's and I still had that ring and I was still waiting for them. I knew they were dead and I was still waiting. I miss them. I love them. But I'm done waiting.'

Sebastian could see it was true. For the entire time he had known Ciel, there had always been a shadow about him. A sense of being held in the air, never quite stable, never quite grounded, something just beyond his reach. He compensated for that something by attaining as much control as his situation allowed. A sway over the staff, just enough of a tie with the other patients while still being somehow above the fray, the composure he was so desperate to maintain. But still something was missing, and it haunted him.

But with that declaration, there was a peace in Ciel that had never been there before. The ghosts of his parents, of Renbon, was lifted from his shoulders after eight years.

Ciel breathed deeply, slipping the inhaler back into his pocket. As he did, his hand brushed against something else, and he pulled it free.

Ciel tore the envelope open, tugging out the folded paper inside. Sebastian edged closer and they read it together, eyes scanning over the letter intently.

Dear Ciel,

The only way to begin this is with a most sincere apology, in the full knowledge that this will mean little to you and your fellow patients, and do nothing to alleviate the suffering you have all gone through during your time at the St. Victoria's facility. Nonetheless, I offer this apology from the bottom of my heart.

The purpose of this letter is not to appease my own guilt. I will carry this deserved guilt with me, as the least I can do. Instead, I write to you and your fellow patients with the purpose of explaining my part in what you have all experienced.

In 2010, rumours began to spread of malpractice in one of the privately owned facilities within London. Through some research, my office discovered that the Chairman of this facility, Mr. Tanaka, was no longer the sole shareholder. In his illness, he had appointed another Chairman. This man, who refers to himself as Undertaker, had been on my office's radar for some time. Although never directly responsible, strange occurrences surrounded his funeral home. Disappearances, reports of disturbances in the night, and such. So when I discovered he had become involved in the running of a home for vulnerable children, you can understand I was greatly concerned. Even moreso when rumours of malpractice began shortly after.

However, as St. Victoria's was a privately owned and run institution, my governmental position had little power to investigate. I confess, self-righteousness drove me from here, Ciel, moreso than my concern for you and your fellow children. If I had put the wellbeing of you all first, perhaps things could have turned out very differently. Hindsight is very unkind, so it does not do to dwell on such things. I acknowledge my mistake, and seek no forgiveness.

My opportunity came when a third Chairman was hired within St. Victoria's. His name was a red light due to his association with the reports on Renbon, and upon closer research, I knew him to be a weak-willed man. It was the perfect chance. It took little to sway him, and before long, I had taken his place as the third Chairman. In mind, though not in presence.

Now, in this position, I certainly could have made my move. I won't deny this. What you must understand is that killing a single wasp is meaningless if the nest still exists. More will come, more will spread, rendering the first kill fruitless. I could have shut down St. Victoria's with the evidence I had recorded with the cameras, but it wasn't the evidence I needed in order to finally corner Undertaker. Although I knew of the existence of the basement experiments, no cameras were placed there, and as such, he would get away with his inhumane acts once more. Even stationing my associates within the facility - Phipps, Grey and Brown - did little to assist in this. Undertaker must have suspected my involvement as they were never allowed close to the basement.

Do you see, Ciel? Do you understand why I had to wait? Alois Trancy's passing was certainly a tragedy, but it was also a blessing in disguise. I was never meant to be involved with St. Victoria's, and as such, could not raise an alarm myself. But Mr. Tanaka himself beginning a police investigation was the most opportune turn of events I could have hoped for. If only the morning had come peacefully, everything would have come together neatly.

The fire destroyed all of the evidence, and not just that, but more patients were lost. I am heartbroken, Ciel. Though my intentions were good, I could have done more to protect you children. I should have prioritized your safety. I didn't, and now more patients have been lost than was necessary, and Undertaker had escaped without a scrap of evidence.

As I have said, I expect no forgiveness, and wouldn't dare ask for such. However, I shall continue to pursue Undertaker until he is brought to justice for the wrongs he has committed. If this means I must follow him to the underbelly of London, then I shall do just that. Rest sure in the knowledge that St. Victoria's is an anomaly that shall never be allowed to exist again, and that all guilty parties will be brought to justice for what they have done to you children.

With deepest remorse,

V.

The paper had no indication of its sender. There was no letterhead, no return address, not even a postal mark. Of course not, as it had been delivered by the sender's assistants personally.

'Do you think Joker and the others have gotten one?' Ciel asked, scanning over the letter a third time. His heart was beating quick in his chest, his palms damp despite the cold.

'It's likely,' Sebastian replied, but he didn't sound certain, 'If they did, they must have gotten it after we saw them. They would have mentioned it, surely.'

'V.' Ciel's thumb brushed over the last line of the letter. 'Who is V?'

'I have no idea. A government worker of some sort, by the sounds of it. They didn't sign their last name.'

Sebastian looked away from the letter. He wasn't nearly as surprised as he should have been to find that Ciel was beginning to grin. There was a light in his eye that he hadn't seen in months, the same sort of glow from when Sebastian actually put up half a challenge when they played chess.

It was infectious. Sebastian found his own lips curling upwards, the thrill of a mystery blossoming in his chest.

'What do you want to do?' he asked, already knowing the answer.

Ciel folded up the letter, putting it back in his pocket. He began to walk towards the park gate, Sebastian at his side. He didn't look back towards the play area, to the place he had begun his years long wait. He didn't feel the need to anymore. There was something new, something interesting, stealing his attention from the past.

He looked up at Sebastian with a grin as they made their way back to the car.

'I want to find V.'

AN: aaaaand that's a wrap! thank you so much to everyone who stuck with this to the very end. it took a while (four years, phew!) but it's finally done. i hope you guys enjoyed reading it at least half as much as i enjoyed writing it. it's been a blast!