Penny loved her vampires. When the Twilight series came out, she was all over it, reading about Bella and Edward's tortured love and recalling fond memories of the movie The Lost Boys. Then True Blood premiered. Penny dumped the ever noble and chaste Edward Cullen faster than last year's shoes. These were the vampires he had been waiting for! Lusty, scary, darkly motivated. Once she learned the TV series was based on novels, she devoured every single piece of the Sookie Stackhouse series. Every Sunday, she plunked herself down with a bowl of popcorn and watched the darkness come to life. It is possible that the sex scenes had more of an impact on her because, currently, the only men in her life belonged to the Geek Squad across the hall. No one over there was thirsting for Penny's blood. At least not the way Eric Northman would.

On this particular Sunday evening, Penny was drooling over her vampires on Sheldon's couch due to the cable company's of understanding that if Penny didn't have a place to live, she could not remain in their customer base thus she made the decision to pay her rent rather than her cable bill. Sheldon sat in his spot with his laptop and hogged the popcorn bowl. He would offer commentary regarding the various inaccuracies he perceived on the show. Penny was able to ignore him simple because she was engrossed in the way Bill Compton's lips and fangs were molesting Sookie's neck. Absently, she ran her hand down the side of her neck imagining Bill there. The warmth between her legs pulsed harder.

Sheldon was pretending to surf the Internet but Penny had caught him peeking(one again) over his monitor. She noticed with wry amusement that a particularly graphic romp of Eric's caused Sheldon to leap from his spot, race to the refrigerator and consume half a bottle of water in a single gulp. Penny took her eyes from the screen to watch the muscles in Sheldon's throat work. She rubbed her tongue over her left incisor longing to give Dr. Cooper a little nibble especially as he was now-flustered, embarrassed and probably a little aroused.

Sheldon returned to the couch and resumed possession of the popcorn. Penny held her knees together - self- conscious of the dampness there. Sheldon still had two spots of red lingering on his cheeks. Otherwise, he was back to his usual colorlessness.

It occurred to Penny that Sheldon could be a vampire but for the germ thing. He'd starve before he drank anyone's blood. He was certainly pale enough, barely went outdoors and had a freakish ability to remain perfectly still. She sighed relegating him to the world of Twilight's purity rather than True Blood's carnal need.

Some scene with Tara(who was quickly becoming the True Blood version of 90210's Kelly Taylor) dragged across the screen. Penny turned her attention to Sheldon's right hand. It moved, so it seemed, of its own will. Drifting. Long fingers selecting the perfect piece of popcorn to rest momentarily on Sheldon's fuller bottom lip. He never really opened his mouth to consume the snack. He would flip it in ever so slightly with the tip of his tongue. Every time he did that, Penny would unconsciously lick her lips.

Tara wailed on about not wanting to die or drink or do her laundry and Penny's eyes traveled up to Sheldon's wrists. His lime green sleeves were pushed up to avoid being contaminated with butter and salt. He had great forearms- not too hairy, his slight muscles flexing delicately. Penny was just as turned on watching Sheldon's right arm's gross and fine motor functions as she would be from Eric's thorough screwing of a Fangtasia waitress.

The scene on TV changed-Tara hopefully fell into a Louisianan sinkhole. Bill was offering Sookie his wrist. Sookie held it to her mouth, writhing and groaning with pleasure. Penny couldn't take it anymore. She reached out, grabbed Sheldon's arm and pressed her mouth to the inside of his wrist in a perfect imitation of Sookie.

"Penny! What on earth…" Sheldon's words dwindled down to a moan as Penny sucked harder on the delicate skin. She turned herself in order to watch Sheldon's reactions. She sucked the skin between her teeth and gave a gentle bite. Sheldon closed his eyes and murmured, "Good Lord, Penny."

Penny broke free only to swipe her tongue across the indentations from her teeth. Sheldon tried to pull away but she was too quick. His punishment was for her to work the skin even more forcefully, sighing as his long fingers cradled the side of her head.

"Sweet, sufferin' Jesus." Sheldon panted feeling the blood vessels breaking under her ministrations. She had his autonomic nervous system lit up like a Saturnalia tree all from the assault on his wrist. Part of him was completely disgusted but that part was getting trampled by the highly inappropriate messages his afferent cerebrospinal nerves were sending to his brain. Most involved Penny performing the same oral acrobatics on other parts of him. The only way Sheldon could respond was with a sharp intake of breath and an urgent tug on the curls at the base of her head.

Penny heard the music that accompanied the ending credits. The tops of her inner thighs were slick. She pulled Sheldon's wrist away and gave it a gentle kiss. Sheldon dropped his head onto the back of the couch. Penny examined her work. The skin was bright red but beginning to bloom into shades of raspberry, maroon and violet. The teeth marks would fade long before the mark did.

"Your watch should cover that." Penny told him. Sheldon's eyes were still closed.

"And how am I to explain my sudden wearing of a watch on the hand with which I write?" Sheldon still had two fingers buried in her hair. The middle one pressing a small circle at the base of her skull. The effect was convincing Penny that her Sunday panties would be going straight into the trash.

"Don't cover it Sheldon. Let people wonder."

Sheldon pulled up one corner of his mouth in a lazy grin. He took his hand from Penny's neck and finally opened his eyes. They widened in horror at the bruising which grew darker by the second.

"Penny!" his tone was scolding.

"Are you going to cover it, Sheldon?" She taunted, rising from the sofa. "Or, are you going to remain mysterious if only to watch Wolowitz lose his mind?"

"That depends." Sheldon replied. Penny stood by the door with her back to him. She turned her head in profile.

"On what?"

Sheldon's eyes traveled over her bare shoulders. The thin straps of her camisole doing nothing but accentuating the bronze of her skin.

"Will you be watching this vampire mockery here next week?" Penny nodded-she could feel his gaze on her; her knees trembled.

"Then I shall let them wonder." Sheldon focused on an area just below the top of her left shoulder. Penny walked across the hall. Sheldon settled back against his striped pillow picturing Penny's shoulder.

Oh, yes! Next week, that was definitely going to be his spot.