"Closer to the Edge"

By Lucawindmover

Chapter 18 Part II

"Ran"

Fifteen years previously, in a little town north of the Fire Nation Capital…

Katara yawned and stretched her arms over her head. She knew it was at least an hour past dawn, which meant she would have the bed to herself. She peeked her eyes open and glanced behind her to be sure, but she was right. She rolled on her back with a contented sigh and stretched her legs. They were really sore. She had known they would be after all the running the night before. She sincerely hoped Zuko wouldn't need them to run so much tonight. She would do it if she had to, and without complaint, but it wouldn't be easy.

Thinking of Zuko made her groan and throw her hands over her face.

She had slept better last night than she had in weeks, even being in a strange bed in an unfamiliar location. It didn't matter that she was sore, or that they were on a secret mission, or that they might have palace guards hot on their tales. It didn't matter that she was afraid that she might be pregnant. She still had managed to sleep like the dead she knew the reason why.

Just having Zuko at her back was the reason. He didn't have to hold her all night. In fact, they both tended to move around a bit in their sleep so they never seemed to stay in any position for long. But it didn't matter. Whether he had his arms around her, his back pressed to hers, her cheek resting on his shoulder, or just her hand against his arm…it made her sleep better. Not having to spend half the night avoiding his touch made her relax. She hadn't realized just how badly she'd been sleeping until she woke this morning, refreshed.

And this frustrated her to no end.

She was sending him mixed messages, she knew that. And she hated it, but she didn't know what else to do. She told him that she was conflicted, but also that she thought of him as a friend and an ally. She told him that she wasn't ready for a physical relationship, but then she wanted to sleep wrapped in his arms. She didn't like the situation one bit. She had far too many other things to worry about right now. She needed to worry about the midwife, about the children in the factory, about the poor spirits that were still attached to her bands. She needed to think of a plan to overthrow the evil Fire Lord, free Toph, and find her brother.

So why was this issue of a relationship with Zuko still at the forefront of her mind?

She didn't understand it. Shaking her head, she decided to get up. She figured Zuko was downstairs having breakfast, since he was nowhere to be seen. Katara slipped her shoes on, as well as her wrist wraps and black, silky scarf. She didn't want to have to wear them, but if they were pretending to be newly-weds, it wouldn't do for someone to see her Binding Bands and realize that she was technically a slave. She tried to make the scarf look fashionable, but wasn't sure she succeeded. To her it still looked as if she was trying to hide something. But there was nothing she could do about it and she just left it as it was before heading downstairs to find Zuko.

"Zuko, are you sure you have to come for this?" Katara asked, stopping at the door to the midwife's shop. She had spent the better part of breakfast trying to talk him out of joining her for the trip to the midwife. This was something she really wanted to do alone. She didn't want him hovering.

Zuko rolled his eyes. Again. How many times was he going to have to go through this? "Look, I told you already. I'm the one doing the paying, so I have a right to be here. Besides, I have a vested interest in the outcome."

Katara frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, first of all, what if you were to, say, magically disappear?" Zuko asked, emphasizing his statement by holding up his hands and wiggling his fingers.

Katara put her hands on her hips, her temper rising. "Oh, so now you're worried about me escaping? Not while we're running at a sprint through the woods in the middle of the night. Just while we're waiting to hear the results of the midwife's tests?"

"Would you lower your voice?" Zuko said, taking a step closer to her. He glanced around to see a few people milling around nearby. He didn't want them to overhear their argument. He grabbed her by the upper arm and pulled her around the side of the building where they could be alone. Katara jerked her arm out of his grasp, glaring at him.

"Look," he said, taking a step back. He leaned against the wall and folded his arms across his chest. "I understand that this whole situation is making you nervous and scared, but you don't have to take that out on me."

Katara huffed. "I'm not scared."

Zuko raised his good eyebrow. She could almost see the smirk trying to cross his features.

"Fine!" she shouted, throwing her hands in the air. "Fine! You caught me. I am scared. But I have a good reason for that, you know."

Zuko shrugged. He could feel his stomach drop down to his feet. "I never said you didn't."

Katara took a deep breath and just stared at him.

"How long have you been worrying about this?" he asked, his tone a little softer than it had been.

She shrugged. "Honestly, I knew there was a possibility right from the moment it happened," she said. She didn't have to explain what she meant. Her shoulders drooped a little and she turned her gaze to the side. "But I guess I've been actually concerned about it for a couple of weeks now."

"Are you having, uh," Zuko seemed to stumble over his words a little. "Well, symptoms, I guess?"

Katara blushed. "Only one," she held up a hand quickly when she saw that he was about to ask her something. "No, I'm not telling you what. It's personal and we are so not going there, okay?"

Zuko didn't press, but he wanted to. If she were having symptoms, why hadn't she told him? Why hadn't she let him know that there was a possible child in this situation now? And what would they do if there was? Would she want to keep the baby? It was early enough now that the herbs they had come to get would take care of the issue, if that was her wish. But if she wanted to keep the child she would be putting them all at risk of an early grave. He was resolved to find a way to do whatever it was she wanted to do. But it wouldn't be easy, no matter which conclusion she came to. Zuko's head was too full of thoughts. He shook it and sighed.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Katara pursed her lips. Why hadn't she told him? The one symptom she'd been having was one she really hadn't wanted to talk to him about. There was no way she was going to be discussing her moonflow with him. And besides, there were plenty of reasons why her moonflow might be disrupted. She'd been through a terrible ordeal and had nothing but stress since. Gran-gran had always told her that stress and worry could make her moonflow late, or even not come at all. This had been her mantra over the last few weeks. How could she tell him that?

"I was embarrassed, okay? Just like I'm embarrassed for you to come in there with me," she said, her cheeks bright red.

Zuko frowned. This situation was hard enough on the waterbender without forcing unnecessary embarrassment on top of it. "Look, I'll just stay by the door, okay? When you need to pay the woman, just come out and get me," he said, watching as her eyes turned on him with relief. "Would that be better?"

She nodded. Her stomach turned over with nerves. She was going to have to go in there now.

Katara sighed with relief as she pulled the last of her clothes back on. The worst of the tests were finished and now all she had to do was wait. She was in a small room in the back of the shop. The midwife had told her this was a birthing room, but that she also used it to do the pregnancy testing. She had examined all of Katara's most private areas, which had frightened and embarrassed the waterbender, and then collect a sample of her urine. The woman had explained why each of these tests were necessary, though no amount of explanation made Katara feel better about it.

At least it's over now, she thought to herself as she tied the laces on her boots. She sat back on the narrow bench along the back wall and waited to find out the results.

When the woman came back in, Katara's heart lurched.

"Well," the midwife, Neila Wang, said. "You are not carrying a child."

Katara felt her breath leave her in one huge rush.

No child.

"I see that you were very worried," Neila said. She pulled a chair out in front of Katara and took a seat. "That's a natural reaction. You are young yet to be a mother, and the child would have been conceived by terrible means."

Katara nodded numbly. She had explained her ordeal to the woman, answering questions as best as she could. She hadn't actually spoken to anyone about what had happened. She hadn't needed to tell Zuko. He already knew. It had been hard at first, talking about what had occurred. But as she continued to tell the story, she felt that an unknown weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She hadn't known she needed to talk about it, but now that she had, she felt better for it.

The waterbender cleared her throat. "Do you have any idea why my moonflow is so off?" she asked, flushing lightly. She didn't like talking about this with anyone other than her Gran-gran.

The woman nodded. "I believe it's the Binding Bands," she stated. She'd known from the beginning that Katara was a slave. There is nowhere to hide the bands when a person is naked. "They disrupt the natural flow of a person's body. Not only will you no longer have moonflow while you are bound, but I believe it may be impossible to conceive children while you are bound."

Katara's eyes widened. If the woman believed that, why had she subjected Katara such humiliating tests?

Neila seemed to read her thoughts. "The moonflow absence has been documented by many women at this point, but the inability to conceive is only a hypothesis of mine. It has yet to be proven."

The girl nodded. "Well, okay then. I suppose I just need my herbs then and we'll be on our way."

"I'm going to include something else for you, at a small price," the woman said. She handed Katara two pouches of herbs. "In the black pouch are the herbs you requested. But in this red pouch are herbs to help you determine on your own if you need the black pouch."

"What do I do with them?" Katara asked.

"Brew them into a tea and drink two cups. The next time you urinate, check to see the color. If it is normal, you are not with child. If the color is green, you are pregnant."

Katara nodded. She really wanted to ask how that worked, but she wanted to tell Zuko the good news a little more. She figured she could find her answers in a scroll in the Palace Library if she really needed to know. She politely thanked the woman for all of her help. Zuko had already paid the fees at the beginning of the visit, and had stayed outside just as he had promised.

When she walked through the outer door, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the alley again.

Katara jerked her arm out of his grasp again, rubbing a hand over the place where his fingers had pressed into her flesh. She shot him an angry frown. "You have really got to stop doing that."

Zuko was pacing and rubbing his hands together. "Sorry, okay? Sorry. I'm just, well," he stopped and took a deep breath. "I'm a little wound up. What were the results?"

Katara relaxed and smiled, a genuinely happy smile. "No child."

"No child?" Zuko repeated, as if he were afraid he'd heard wrong. Could his fortunes have finally worked a miracle in his favor for once?

She nodded.

A relieved grin finally crossed Zuko's face. He couldn't help himself as he grabbed her around the waist, lifting her in the air and turning in circles. Katara laughed, playfully hitting him on the shoulders and joking that he needed to put her down.

He put her on her feet and grinned, his hands still on her waist. Katara looked up at him with her blue eyes sparkling. She hadn't seen him so genuinely happy before. She found that she really liked it, and wondered what life might have been like for him if he hadn't grown up in the terrible Fire Nation Palace. Her eyes flickered to his lips, just a short distance from hers. Her breath hitched in her throat as she saw that his eyes were doing the same.

She put a hand on his chest and pushed against him a little. "Lunch in the marketplace?" Katara asked, taking a step back and breaking the moment. She didn't trust herself standing so close to him, not with the joy they were both feeling. The last time that had happened, kissing had also happened.

Zuko couldn't quite squash the disappointment he felt as she changed the subject. He had really wanted to feel his lips against hers. He had wanted to hold her close to him and relish the fact that they had finally, for once, had good news. But she wasn't ready for that, or didn't want it, and he was going to respect it even though it made his heart ache.

He smirked. "You mean you don't want to go back to the inn for lunch?"

Katara laughed. Zuko offered her his arm and she took it, wrapping her right arm through his left and letting him guide her back out to the street. "Are you kidding?" she said with a grin. "That woman overcooked the eggs and undercooked the rice at breakfast. I haven't had food that poorly prepared since I was travelling with my brother."

Zuko chuckled. The pair made their way through the teeming marketplace with little conversation. Zuko pointed to a fruit stand and Katara nodded.

After procuring a large bowl of cut fruit, Katara pointed to a shady spot of grass just outside of the bustling market area. They settled back against a large tree, each picking their favorite pieces out of the bowl.

Katara was quiet. Too quiet. Zuko had just started to wonder what was bothering her when she broke the silence. "Zuko?"

"Hmm?" he responded around a mouthful of mango.

Katara bit her lip and paused. "Is there some way to check on my brother? To maybe, I don't know, see how he's holding up?"

Zuko thought this over as he finished chewing. "I can do an official inquiry. That's about the only way to get information from Boiling Rock."

"You would do that for me?" she asked, unable to meet his eyes.

Zuko shrugged. "If you want me to, I will."

She sighed. "I really do. I need to know if he's okay."

"Well, consider it done. But I warn you, we may not get a response right away. Anything official seems to take forever to get through," he said. He offered her more fruit from the bowl and Katara took a chunk of pineapple.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

He shook his head. "Don't thank me yet."

It was quiet for another few minutes as they finished their lunch. They each had a lot on their minds as they watched people move to and fro in the market. Children ran and played, laughing merrily as they pushed and bumped through the adults. An old woman began to scold them, but the children paid no mind, darting away before she could finish. Katara laughed lightly as the old woman grabbed the nearest person, a very confused young man, and began to lecture him instead.

Suddenly, Katara leapt to her feet, grabbing Zuko by the wrist and hauling him to standing. Before he had a chance to shout his protest she pushed him back behind the tree.

Her chest was heaving and her eyes were wide as she peaked around the edge of the tree and quickly jerked her head back.

"What is it?" Zuko asked in a loud whisper.

"Palace guards are out there, questioning people," she said through clenched teeth.

Zuko felt his face harden. He hadn't seen them. He leaned his head out to check and there they were, sure enough. Two men in Fire Nation Palace uniforms were questioning the man who had sold them the fruit. Luckily, the man had been busy all day and was gesturing to say he had no idea. Zuko pulled his head back around the tree and sighed.

There were only two reasons why the place guards would be involved. Either his father had received word from the regent and decided he was angry with them, sending out a force to collect them and bring them back to the palace. Or Azula had found the letter first and decided to act before the knowledge was brought to the attention of the Fire Lord, giving her the ability to spin any sort of lie she wanted to cause them trouble.

Zuko figured the latter was the more probable of the two options.

"What do we do?" Katara hissed. She stared at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to have an idea.

"We sneak back to the inn," he said, running a hand through his tousled hair. "And I guess we wait it out. I'm sure we'll have to bribe the innkeeper, but it'll keep us out of sight until dark."

Katara nodded and followed his lead through the woods along the backside of the market area. They kept out of sight, dodging behind bushes and the backs of buildings, using alleyways and deserted streets on their way back to the inn. Instead of being seen going through the front door, they came in through the kitchen door, frightening the innkeeper and the cook in their hurry. Zuko threw a ridiculous about of money at the middle aged woman in exchange for her promise of silence before whisking Katara back up to their room.

They had been really lucky. About fifteen minutes after they came storming back to the inn, the two guards had come in, asking questions. As agreed, the innkeeper told the men that two people fitting their descriptions had spent the previous night but left again right around dawn without paying for a second night. Katara had thought at the last second to have the woman tell them this. It would explain why people in the market may have seen them, and it would make the men think to that they had moved on. The guards wouldn't bother searching the town any more once they had proof that their quarry had left the area. Zuko was impressed by her quick thinking, once again, and vowed that he never wanted to be on the receiving end of one of her schemes. Well, not again anyway.

Once evening had fallen and the pair had suffered through a sad dinner of boiled fish and undercooked rice, they made their way back upstairs to prepare for their mission.

Zuko went about unwrapping his mask and swords, checking and rechecking that everything was in its proper condition. Katara wrapped her scarf around her lower face, hiding everything except her eyes. They both donned their cloaks and slipped through the window. Zuko went first, helping Katara down. She blushed at the feel of his hands on her hips and the way the front of her body slid down his as he lowered her to her feet. She looked up, trying to see his eyes behind his mask. She could feel him sigh. He released her and turned, motioning for her to follow him.

The two of them raced through the small town to the other side, closer to the factory. In a matter of moments, they were tearing through the trees much like they had been the previous night. Katara's legs protested the exercise so soon after being worn out, but she pushed through it. She was resolved to not slow Zuko down after having begged to come with him in the first place.

It didn't take them long to find what they were looking for. In a clearing in the woods was a huge metal facility. The building was probably three stories tall, from Katara's guessing. All of the windows were dark and the area looked deserted. Zuko held his arm out in front of her, as if to keep her from running out into the clearing. She sighed in frustration, narrowing her eyes at him. As if she would be so dumb to not check the area before running out into the open. But she squashed the impulse to knock him in the head and followed his lead. She would take it out on him at another time, when they weren't in the middle of something so important.

The coast seemed clear. They couldn't find any guards posted around the outside of the building, though they supposed they would find a few on the inside. They moved around the edge of the forest until the came to a point where the building was closest to the trees. Katara followed Zuko, moving swiftly from the shelter of the trees to the wall of the structure. He pressed his back to the wall, motioning for her to do the same. Together they inched closer to the nearest door. The firebender grabbed the door latch and wasn't surprised to find it padlocked. He shooed Katara back a little and unsheathed his swords. In one fell swipe, the lock was no longer an issue. He didn't sheathe his swords, wanting to keep them out at the ready.

Katara fervently wished her waterbending would help them. It was minor bending at best right now, with having to keep her free foot in the bending water to get it to respond. She sighed. She would give them away by bending anyway. She resolved to have Zuko train her in some other method of combat once they were back to the safety of the palace.

The safety of the palace? Now that was a thought she never figured she would have.

Zuko pressed forward and she followed close behind, although wary of his swords. Once inside, Katara had to fight the urge to gasp.

The whole building had been hollowed out in the middle, making room for some sort of giant machine of some sort in the center. There was a second floor catwalk leading to what she could only assume were offices of some sort. She could see the outline of a staircase off to their left.

The whole place was eerily silent and suffocating in its darkness. There weren't any torches going and the only light they could see was coming from some sort of fire roaring within one of the machines. Katara crept forward and wrapped her left fist in the cloth of Zuko's cloak. She couldn't help it. She was afraid.

Zuko frowned. Why was this place so empty? He figured they would have to fight their way through just to find the schematics he wanted. He silently gestured to Katara to follow him up the stairs. The physical proof he needed had to be in one of those offices. She moved along behind him on silent feet.

It took them three offices to find what he needed. He had to have physical proof of what was going on in this building. There was no way his word would be enough to turn the tide of support to him from his father. The Order of the White Lotus needed this information as well, for the same reason.

When Zuko unrolled a scroll detailing the transport of their victims, as well as describing their disposal, he knew he had what he needed. He tucked it inside his shirt and motioned for Katara to move.

But she didn't.

"Zuko," she whispered. "We have to find the children."

Zuko went back to her, lowering his head closer to hers. "Katara, we can't. We can't do anything for them right now. And if these schematics are correct, we're only going to find bodies in the building tonight.

Katara bit her lip. Bodies. All those beautiful, young children reduced to nothing more than bodies. "I want to find the bodies," she said softly, her eyes glistening. "Please, Zuko."

He sighed. After a moment, he nodded. From what he'd read on the scroll, he knew where they needed to go. He moved swiftly, holding both swords in one hand and pulling Katara along with the other. They went down to the first floor and continued down the stairs to the basement. It was one large room, completely unlit. Zuko let go of her long enough to conjure a flame to see by.

And what he saw almost brought him to his knees.

The entire floor was lined with linen wrapped bundles. Each small bundle was another child. He quickly tallied about thirty, the knot in his throat making it difficult to breathe. He was surprised that there wasn't a smell, but then realized that it meant these were very fresh bodies.

All these children died today, he thought, choking back the tears that threatened.

Katara let hers flow freely. She tugged the scarf down from around her mouth so she could breathe better as she sobbed. She sank to her knees and pressed her hands against her face, crying for the little ones whose lives were taken far too soon.

Zuko squatted down beside her, placing a hand on her back. He rubbed in small circles, trying his best to comfort her and comforting himself a little in the process.

After a few minutes, Katara calmed and stood.

"We need to burn them," she said softly, in a very cold voice.

"What?" Zuko asked, standing with her. He winced a little at the cold look in her eyes as she turned her gaze on him.

"I need you to firebend. I need you to honor these poor little ones. Burn them, Zuko."

Zuko gulped. Could he do that? Could he torch these tiny bodies so that no one else could ever hurt them? He knew he could, and in that moment, he knew he would. And he would be honored to do it. He would be honored to show mercy to the little ones now.

"But what if the whole factory goes up?" he asked.

"Let it," Katara answered. "Would that be so bad a thing?"

Presently, in the library…

"And did the whole building burn?" Professor Zei asked, sitting on the edge of his seat.

Zuko shook his head. "No, but it did sustain serious damage. We were all the way back to the Palace by dawn. Luckily, we were never connected to the incident."

The professor was busy filling his tenth sheet of parchment. "What happened with your father when you returned?"

"Well, I told him what I had written to the regent. Turns out Azula had taken the letter, as I figured she had. When the Fire Lord heard both sides of the story, he was angry at both of us. That's why he ended up sending us to Ember Isle," Zuko paused and pinched the bridge of his nose. "How he thought a vacation together would make us get along, I have no idea. But that was our punishment."

Professor Zei chuckled. "I suppose that's a story for another day though. My hand is cramping from all this writing. I believe we should take a break for a bit."

Zuko nodded and took his leave of the man, ready to search out the mother of his children to apologize for the lecture she had surely received from her overzealous older brother.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for your reviews. It really helps keep me writing. I'm close to 100 now, and I couldn't do that without you guys. The next chapter is a happier one, in the present, and I'm super excited to write it after all this dark material.

Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! www . facebook . com/Lucawindmover (minus the spaces). This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.