"…And Ivan Braginski!"

"Not here!" The students shout, sounding relieved.

"Alright," The professor says, tossing his roll-book aside, "Now, put away your books. We won't need them."

"AWESOME!" Prussia whispers to France and Spain as they are led into the adjoining room from the regular Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. The only thing inside the room is a little box with spell-o-tape keeping it closed.

"Let me introduce you to a boggart. The boggart will shape-shift into whatever the person in front of it fears the most. All you have to do is picture that thing in your mind and make it into something funny, then shout "Riddikulus".

"Actually," A mischievous England whispers in France's ear, "to get the best results, you have to say 'Riddikulus Siam'. I read it once in a book." France nods.

"Let's see… Ah! Lithuania!" The professor beckons the shy young man to the front. "You will be my first volunteer." Lithuania gulps.

"Uh, I'm told I'm not the best wizard…" Lithuania says, while Prussia is jumping up and down in the background shouting that he should go first instead of Lithuania.

"Relax, you'll be fine," The professor says, "One… two… THREE!" Sparks shot out of the professor's wand and the box is destroyed.

In the box's place are Lithuania's closest friends: Estonia, Poland and Latvia. But they are thin, pale and chained. Lithuania isn't with them, however.

"Saint," Switzerland mutters, as if that is something to be ashamed of.

"R-riddikulus!" Lithuania shouts, and all that is left of that scene is one of the cuffs of the chains; it rolls over to Greece, who sleeping on the floor.

There is a crack and the cuff is turned into a digital clock. Where the numbers are usually displayed are the words "WAKE UP!" The alarm is beeping like crazy. Suddenly, it sprouts a mouth and is sucking in so much air that the class is preparing for the biggest wake-up call ever. Everyone is covering their ears.

"Riddikulus," Greece mutters in his sleep, and then the clock sprouts cat ears and a tail. The words "WAKE UP!" are replaced with "Meow". It hops closer to Greece, but loses its batteries in the process. The batteries roll over to France's feet and, with a crack, turns into a toad, along with the alarm clock by Greece. The toads approach France.

"Riddikulus Siam!" France shouts, but it does nothing. One of the toads hops onto France's hand. "Gyaah!" He dumps the toad on the ground. He can feel the warts growing in his hand. "RIDDIKULUS SIAM!" he shouts, louder this time. It still does nothing to the toads. They both pounce on France and he falls over. "RIDDIKULUS SIAM! RIDDIKULUS SIAM! GYAAH!" He screams, kicking around. England and his friends snicker and high-five England for tricking France to say "Ridiculous I am!"

"Oh, you think it's so funny, do you?" France asks angrily. He's standing in front of England with both toads in his hands. With a crack, one of the toads transforms into toddler America while the other one turns into toddler Sealand.

"Bro!" They shout, and pounce on England, knocking him to the floor also. "HEY! THESE ARE NEW ROBES THAT YOU JUST RIPPED! STOP PULLING MY HAIR! STOOOOOOOOP!" Boggart Sealand and boggart America were treating England like a human playground. England pulls out his wand, but toddler America snatches it and says something in gibberish, pointing it at England. The wand must think toddler America said "Reducio," because England starts to shrink. "GYAAH!" England screams as he is now as small as an ant standing on its hind legs. America and Sealand, who have been sulking in the corner ever since the boggart turned into toddler versions of them, now turn around and start laughing.

"Sealand? Where are you?" Toddler America shouts. Boggart Sealand had wandered to where Latvia had been cringing in the back of the room. Boggart America sits next to Sealand, just taking in the sight of the third year Hufflepuff. The crack that Latvia has feared since the beginning of class is heard, and toddler Sealand is now Russia; toddler America turns into Russia's faucet.

"Hello, little one," Russia says in an ice-cold voice. Latvia cringes even more. "My, you've grown a bit since yesterday," Russia says, cocking his head to get a better look at Latvia, "Let's change that." He grins. He pulls Latvia up onto his feet, but before he can do anything Latvia begins to speak.

"You're not the real Ivan, are you? Because if you were the real Ivan and you knew that I fear you the most, then I would be tortured twice as much. My head would be dunked in Moaning Myrtle's toilet four times a day instead of two. And I would also shrink about five millimeters a day instead of three, and that can make a real difference at the end of the month, and we third years haven't learned how to stretch yet, and- GYAAH!"

Boggart Russia starts to press down on Latvia's head. Latvia pulls out his wand. "R-r-r…" People are starting to think that he can't save himself from the boggart form that even the seventh-years approach with caution. "RIDDIKULUS!" Boggart Russia turns into Germany, who is slightly surprised when Latvia buries his head into the former Russia's chest. The real Germany is slightly disturbed.

"Ve! Doitsu! There you are!" Italy runs up to the boggart, ignoring the real Germany that is shouting at him from the background. There is a crack, and the boggart turns into England, wand in one hand, his cooking in the other.

"Eat…" England says, approaching Italy with the bowl of food.

"Waa!" Italy looks around the room for the real Germany, and then spots tiny England, trying to maneuver his wand that had not shrunk with him. Italy gets an idea. "Riddikulus!" Boggart England now grew small; wearing the same panicked expression the real England wore when he shrunk.

"Give me that," England says, snatching the wand from boggart England's back-pocket. "Engorg-" England was interrupted by Italy's laughter. The boggart, along with its wand, shattered into a million microscopic pieces. "NO!" England shouts, falling to his knees. France high-fives Prussia and Spain, then picks up England's wand.

"You want this?" France taunts, waving the wand over England's tiny head.

"Give it! Oh, when I get my regular-sized hands on it you are going to receive the most painful hexes…" England shouts. France scoops him up and carries him over to the professor.

"Professor, the boggart shrunk England and we don't know the spell to grow him back."

"Of course we do! It's…" France moves his hand in a circle and England walks around France's palm like a drunken man.

"I see…" The professor says thoughtfully, "take him to Madam Pomfrey and he'll be right as rain in no time."

"Let's make him a key chain!" France whispers to the other members of the Bad Friends Trio.

"RUSSIA'S BACK FROM THE HOSPITAL WING! RUN!" All the first, second, and third years scramble to get through their portrait holes. Latvia gets to his portrait where Boris the Bewildered was filling in for the usual guard.

"Password?" He said.

"Would it be Candle-light?" Latvia asks.

"I don't know. I forgot the password," Boris replies sheepishly, "Sorry."

Latvia paces in the corridor. "He's going to be here any second…"

"I know the password to the Prefect's bathroom," Boris says.

"Great! Where is it?" Latvia asks anxiously.

"Oh, I forgot where it is," Boris blushes even more.

Latvia hears the pounding of feet up the stairs. "Where's the Fat Friar?"

"Oh. He's blessing the Quidditch field," Boris replies.

"Thank you!" Latvia starts running down the stairway leading to the right; Russia was climbing up the stairway leading to the left. He hurries down and wishes a good evening to the Fat Lady when he stops in his tracks. Standing right in front of him was Russia.

"A little birdie told me that I scare you the most out of everything," Russia says, grinning. Latvia gulps.

"Do you hear that?" Sealand asks, as he hears a faint wailing outside the safety of the Gryffindor common room.

"Probably just this game that muggles use to entertain themselves," America says, gesturing toward the Zombie videogame he was playing, "Want to be player two?"

"You bet!" Sealand exclaims and further ignores Latvia's cries for help.