kk, Hi all. Just clarifying, this is something old that I managed to finish out of pure writers block, not something I intended to relate to Lightning at all, but it just happened and I'm reasonably satisfied with it, so I hope you will be too.

Enjoy!

When you're lost in this world and you don't know what else to do, dip your tongue in the poison. When you're searching for something you think you'll never find, fall into the bottle and leave the cork behind you. When you know you can't escape the truth, look at what you've become in disgust and drown yourself again, and when you don't think you can breathe much more and it's closing time, pick yourself up off of the counter and sleep with your clothes on.

When you're sitting at home and you hear the answer machine running, tell your sister to shut up and try to make a family without your help. Then when her husband calls you back and asks if you're okay, hang up the phone and tell yourself you'll explain later. Over and over, again and again; this is your life – never mind the rest of the world, but when the bartender seems to understand, try to find a bed with someone else and hope for the best. Whether you fail or not, well, that's up to fate.

"Ugh," Lightning groaned, rolling over in the covers as her alarm went off. "Shut up you stupid piece of shit," she ordered, as if the pathetic excuse for a command would silence the device, and in reality, it should have. However, it seemed that voice command was not going to be her forte this horrible, awful morning. She smacked the thing until it went silent, growling.

She sighed, burying her face into her pillow as light filtered in through her window. Finally, when the frustration proved too much, she managed to drag herself out of bed and towards the bathroom to start her morning ritual: stripping out of her clothes and taking a nice, long, sobering shower. Then, maybe she'd be able to look at herself in the mirror without wanting to cry and tear her hair out. Though, one fact stood in the way of that possibility. As she brushed the fur from her teeth, groping for the sweat coated articles of cloth she expected to find clinging to her skin, she gasped. Underneath her calm, not-so-collected facade, she was completely and undisputedly naked.

"No," she murmured, "Don't tell me I-" she gulped, looking back to the mirror. "What have I gotten myself into?"

She looked horrible, pale and already on the verge of tears, porcelain skin marred by red splotches and dark circles under her eyes. How did it come to this? What had she done the night before? She ran a hand through her hair, bringing it back to her lips. It reeked of alcohol. Really, what had she done last night?

As she pondered that thought, the phone began to ring. No doubt, it was Snow calling to tell her she was going to be late for work again. It'd been nearly a month since she'd quit, and still he hadn't given up. She took a step back, sighing. "Damnit. Why can't you people just leave me alone?" She let it go to the answering machine, turning on the faucet and splashing her face until the recording came on, same as always.

"Hello, you've reached Lightning Farron. I'm not here right now, and quite frankly wouldn't answer you if I were, but if you absolutely have to bother me, please don't leave a message after the beep. I'll just delete it anyway," her voice played out, each word enunciated with complete and utter disinterest. The machine beeped, and swapped over to the call.

"Yo, sis," Lightning sighed – Snow, "Just callin' to remind you to get ready for work again, like always. Serah says you haven't been in a while, but I know you. No way in hell would you miss out on a chance to work. I bet you've been sneaking out at night on patrol and stuff," he said, naïvely.

You really think you know me, don't you Snow? . . Idiot, she thought, grimacing, Now this is exactly why I didn't approve of you marrying my sister.

It was the same every morning. She wished that messages these days came with size limits. He continued, "Anyway, I wanted to ask you about what you would like for your birthday. Serah and I thought that we'd have another one for you, you know, just to make up for the last one, now that we have the money and all. I thought we'd get you another knife, but-" She exhaled rather loudly, looking in the direction of the thing. He was really intent on trying her patience this morning, wasn't he? Didn't he know she had better things to do? Like, say, getting drunk, or sulking?

"Will you just shut the hell up and get to the point already?" she grunted, backing up to get a good view of it. When he didn't, she sighed, making a move to shut the thing off. As soon as she hit the doorway, she stopped dead.

There, in her bed – someone was there. Black tendrils of silk pooled near the headboard, sprawling out over the covers, a tanned hand clutching the pillow, almost groping for something, it seemed. Then it dawned on her. That hand was groping for her.

"It can't be," her breath hitched. She gulped, no longer aware of the answering machine and it's woes. She dashed to the tangled mass of blankets, tearing through them with an urgent delicacy to her manners as she desperately tried to find what is was she was searching for, and when she found it, there was only one word that came to her mind.

"Fang!" she cried out, hovering over the woman's form as a wave of adrenaline fueled ecstasy hit her, letting her hands brush against that wonderful, soft skin of hers, but something was wrong.

"Lightning." The woman mumbled, flipping over with a confused expression on her face. She was beautiful, but something was wrong indeed.

It was . . "Lebreau."

Okay, not exactly the best ficlet ever, but eh, I felt like doing something with a bit of an unhappy ending for once.

fin, for now. R&R plox!