Fate/indubitanter

Chapter 2 - Then and Now

Six Weeks After the Holy Grail War

It's still dark when I wake up. My eyelids feel like they're made of lead, unsurprising since I spent half the night tossing about in bed. Today is the first day of the new school term. More importantly, it's the first day that Rin and I will be publicly associating with one another. No matter how much I think about it, I can't imagine any method to smoothly explain my new relationship with her away.

Tohsaka Rin has a certain image at Homurabara. She's duped the entire school, save for Issei, into believing she's a modest, well-mannered lady who excels in every possible aspect to which a human being might aspire. Beauty? Intelligence? Athleticism? Social graces? Check, check, check, and check.

They have no idea that while the first three might be true enough, Rin is actually a vicious, black-hearted tyrant, short on patience and mercilessly sadistic. Her magus training is moving at breakneck speed and I hardly have time to wrangle with one topic until she piles five more on top of me. The past two weeks blur in my head like some hideous collage of half-developed Polaroid photographs. I'm starting to get the feeling that I bit off more than I can chew when I accepted her offer to teach me magic.

Nonetheless, I persevere. There's no way I'll ever admit defeat to her. That girl is like a shark; just the tiniest hint of blood and she'll tear me to shreds.

…which is exactly what the male half of the student body will do to me when they see me with her.

With a heavy sigh, I rise from bed and shamble towards the kitchen. Maybe a good meal will improve my spirits. Donning my apron, I crack a few eggs and beat them to a frothy consistency by adding a little cream. After adding cheese, some chopped onion, and sliced ham, I've hardly begun pouring the mixture onto the skillet when my quiet morning is shattered to pieces by a wild bushwoman whom I'm certain must have been raised by wolves to have turned out into the sort of adult she has.

"Shiroooouu!" sings the unwelcome intruder. "I'm hooooome! Oooh, I hear sizzling! Lucky me, just in time for breakfast!"

That freeloading mooch. Does she have a sixth sense when it comes to food? When I hear her footsteps approach, I spare her a glance. Ordinarily, I wouldn't let her distract me, but it's been a while since I saw her goofy face. As troublesome as she is, her effervescent self never fails to brighten a room and I could use some good cheer.

"Welcome back, Fuji-nee," I greet, the corners of my lips curving upwards against my will from the simple sight of her. "How was archery training camp?"

She instantly deflates at my question and goes from bubbly like champagne to flat like week old soda in the blink of an eye. "The food was horrible!" she whines like a petulant child, pawing at the floor with her foot.

I stare at her cock-eyed for a moment. What the hell does that have to do with anything? "…and the archery?"

Fuji-nee perks up slightly before frowning. "Hmm… that wasn't so good, either, come to think of it. Our members aren't too enthusiastic. Mitsuzuri-san is just about the only one who takes club activities seriously and this will be her last year… Hopefully we'll find some freshmen with a little fire in them, but I'm still worried about who will take over the captainship next year."

"Why not Sakura?" I suggest before turning back to my eggs.

"She didn't show up for the camp," Fuji-nee sighs. "Even if she's good with a bow and popular with the other members, I can't let someone who shirks their responsibilities to the club become captain."

I scrunch my nose and blink a few times. "Sakura ditched? That doesn't sound like her at all."

"I can understand if she's worried about Matou-kun," Fuji-nee murmurs faintly. "But Sakura-chan should trust the doctors to do their jobs. I'm told his rehabilitation is going fine."

"Is it? That's good, I suppose," I mutter out of ambivalence. I'm still not sure how to feel about Shinji. While I'm glad he's getting along better with Sakura now, his actions did send the entire senior class to the ER and nearly killed Rin. I'd like the think that he regrets what he did, but he might just be unenergetic from his wounds.

Well, he's not a real magus so I doubt he'll be able to cause any more problems of that magnitude. At the very least his sister cares about him, so I'll pray for his speedy recovery for her sake.

"If Sakura wasn't at camp with you, then I wonder why I haven't seen her lately," I muse pensively. "Even though she tends to Shinji a lot, she still usually visits on the weekends."

Fuji-nee sidles up to me until I can feel her literally breathing down my neck. Hazarding a glance from the corner of my eye, I see her squinting at me like I've sprouted a second head.

"Sakura-chan stopped visiting as much around the same time that you started having Tohsaka-san over," she notes from out of the blue while rubbing at her chin.

After flipping my omelet, I move over to the right side of the stove to recover some of my personal space. "What do those two things have to do with each other?" I ask. "Sakura's busy caring for Shinji. She might be like family around here, but blood relatives come first."

Fuji-nee closes the gap between us again, still squinting. "What do those two see in a thickhead like you? I even gave you a hint and you still don't get it."

"What are you going on about?" I snap irritably. "Can you just give me some space, here? It'll be your fault if I burn the omelet."

It takes a second before I feel her presence withdraw. Returning to my original position at the stove, I tend my culinary creation for another minute before switching off the heat. I'm about to retrieve a couple of dinner plates when the air in the room freezes.

"Finished, are we?" Fuji-nee mutters darkly. A black aura erupts around her and I swear that her eyes turn red before narrowing into slits. "Good, good. Now that there's no risk of harming the food, I can punish you without restraint."

Before I can even consider what she wants to punish me for, she disappears from my sight and a vice constricts around my trachea.

"How dare you use that tone with me, young man!" she bellows directly into my ear, arm locked tightly around my neck. "Who raised you to be like that, huh? Not Kiritsugu-san, and certainly not me! If you want to ask me something, you do it nicely! Don't snap at me like an ill-tempered turtle! You don't speak to your elders that way! Understand, you little punk?"

Yes, Fuji-nee, is what I try to say but the only sound that comes from my lips is a low gurgle.

"What was that?" Fuji-nee demands, loosening her grip just enough for me to get a lungful of precious, precious air.

"I'm… sorry… Fuji-nee," I manage to choke out.

"You'd better be!" Fuji-nee threatens. She constricts her arm for one last tight squeeze before releasing me. "Mind your manners, Shirou. Pick up any more delinquent habits and I won't let you off so easy next time."

I nod dimly. Thinking back, I was probably a little more short with her than I should have been. Rin's harsh training must be getting to me worse than I thought.

"I'll be taking this one for myself. Be thankful my bad behavior tax is so cheap," Fuji-nee announces before moving to the living room. After regaining a steady pulse, I rise from my knees only to find the omelet missing from the skillet.

Sighing, I head to the fridge for more ingredients. It's nice that Fuji-nee can be bought off so easily with food, but that omelet was big enough to serve two people.

The television is on when I join Fuji-nee in the living room, after preparing a second smaller omelet for myself. Her plate is already empty and she's watching the news.

"…gas leak victim was discharged from the hospital this morning. Doctors could find no lingering physical or mental damage resulting from his nearly two month long coma, and his departure from intensive care marks the recovery of the last of the victims of the mysterious gas leaks in Shinto. Miraculously, the accidents did not cause any fatalities, though Fuyuki Gas and Electric now faces heavy litigation from a class action lawsuit. A spokesman for the utility company released a statement…"

"Hmm… gramps is in for an uphill battle with this one," Fuji-nee mutters, pursing her lips as she continues to stare at the television screen.

Her grandfather, Fujimura Raiga, is the head of a local yakuza group. Like his granddaughter, Old Man Fujimura is larger than life and can be quite intimidating when he wants to, but he's actually not a bad guy. His group runs mostly legitimate business ventures, including Fuyuki Gas and Electric, though I'm certain there's also some seedy underworld dealings both Fuji-nee and I are better off not knowing about.

"Oh, Fuji-nee, that reminds me." I seat myself cross-legged on a cushion and poke at my food a bit with chopsticks. "I need to talk to him about the deed to the house."

She turns away from the news broadcast and frowns at me. "What about it?"

Naturally, a minor can't legally own a house so Fuji-nee's grandfather has overseen the Emiya estate ever since Dad died. He's always intended to transfer ownership to me after I came of age and graduated from high school but that might not be such a good idea anymore, considering I'll probably be spending a few years in London.

"Do you think he can look after the house for me a little longer? I'll probably be leaving the country for a while after I graduate. If he's worried about things like property taxes, I can probably find a part-time job and wire him the money."

"What?" Fuji-nee blurts, face painted with a bewildered expression. "You're leaving Japan? Where are you going? Why are you going?"

"There's a school in England I want to attend," I tell her.

"England?" Fuji-nee parrots, blinking several times in rapid succession. "Why England? There are plenty of good universities in Japan."

"It's a… private school that has a special program for the subject I'm interested in," I explain, careful to remain honest without exposing the whole truth. Fuji-nee can sniff a lie from me from a mile off. Almost anyone can, really. I'm just not good at it.

She narrows her eyes. "What program? Shirou, you never told me you wanted to attend college, much less one in a foreign country. England of all places? Your grades in my class are average, at best. I bet you couldn't read English street signs, much less thick college textbooks. And your verbal skills are even worse; you got a forty-nine on the oral part of the final exam last term."

Each word is like a dagger through my heart. I already had enough reservations about moving to London and she's only reminding me of how woefully unprepared I am, lacking any semblance of fluency with the English language.

"I'll pick it up as I go along!" I say, trying to convince myself as much as Fuji-nee. "They say the best way to learn a new language is to immerse yourself in it, right? It might be hard at first, but I'll learn."

The Tiger of Fuyuki rubs her chin while frowning at me. I don't often have the chance to see her in deep thought, and it looks really bizarre to me. Fuji-nee needs to be simple and carefree. With eyebrows wrought together in V formation and an inquisitive twinkle in her eye, she looks like a completely different person.

"So what do you plan to study there, Shirou?"

My mind searches for a colorful euphemism for 'magic', but comes up empty-handed. "It's sort of an obscure major," I answer vaguely. "You've probably never even heard of it."

Fuji-nee crosses her arms. "Try me."

"I… I can't explain it well!" I stammer. "If you want to know, you should ask Rin! She's an expert on it!"

"Rin?" Fuji-nee echoes uncomprehendingly. "Who is… ooohhhhhh…" Her lips curl into a wicked smile. "Well, well, on a first name basis with Tohsaka-san now, are we?"

I clamp my mouth shut and my face catches fire.

"I see, I see. It all makes sense now," Fuji-nee continues. "Tohsaka-san is going to study abroad and you plan to follow her."

"It… it's not like that at all!" I protest furiously. "We're just interested in the same thing and London has the best school to learn it!"

Fuji-nee's Cheshire cat grin somehow widens even further. "Then explain to me why you're blushing down to your toes like a love struck schoolboy."

"I am not!" I deny hotly, squashing down my embarrassment through sheer force of will. "Rin isn't the reason I want to go to London! I wouldn't risk turning my life upside down if it wasn't my sincere wish to be there!"

Though that claim is patently untrue, I cling to it with all the conviction I can muster.

"So Tohsaka-san being there is just a bonus? You do like her, don't you?" Fuji-nee observes coyly. Her relentless prodding won't cease until she gets some sort of concession from me, and I won't be able to take much more pressure at this rate.

Swallowing my pride, I nod mutely and stare at my shoes.

"What an honest boy," Fuji-nee coos sweetly, moving to pat my head. Then, before I can even blink, she pulls me up by the collar and snarls in my face like a bulldog. "Like hell I'll let you! You've got a lot of nerve, young man! Don't use education as an excuse to go gallivanting halfway across the world on the heels of your high school crush!"

The complete one-eighty in her demeanor sends me reeling to the point where I can only stare blankly as she continues her tirade.

"You ought to take your future more seriously! Don't base decisions that will affect the rest of your life on the urges of adolescent hormones! As your guardian, I will never approve of such reckless behavior! Move to England? HA! I'll bury you up to your head at low tide until you recognize your own foolishness before that happens!"

With a terse harrumph, she releases her grip on me and picks up a duffle bag. "I'm leaving now. The teachers have a meeting before the opening ceremony today." She stops just short of the front door and spares me a cursory glance. "I don't mind if you want to keeping inviting Tohsaka-san over, but I don't want to hear another word about London. Think seriously about what you want to do with your life because you only have a year before you graduate. It's time to grow up, Shirou."

I almost expect her to slam the door on the way out, but it only shuts with a soft clack like always. The echo of it resonates sharply in my mind, though, many times louder than the physical volume. I don't know how much time passes while I stand there in a daze, but my omelet has long grown cold by the time I finish it.

After lethargically changing into my school uniform, I pack my book bag and head out. A voice greets me as I'm locking the front gate.

"Morning, Shirou. You're looking surly. Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today?"

I turn and find Rin standing a few paces away, looking unusually chipper. She's pretty much the opposite of a morning person, another contradiction to her honor student image, so if she's actually in a good mood this early in the day it can only be because she has cruel designs for me. Why else would she have come?

"Rin, what are you doing here?" I ask suspiciously.

She frowns at me and crosses her arms. "What kind of greeting is that? I went out of my way to meet up so I could walk to school with you and this is the treatment I get?"

My mind goes blank. "You… what?"

"I woke up early so we could walk to school together," Rin reiterates. Her tone suggests impatience but her cheeks are a bit pink. "Do I need to say it again or are you done zoning out?"

I cough. "Um… no, I got it that time." If this is a trap, she's succeeded in catching me by surprise. "But… why do you want to walk together? It was your idea to pretend to be strangers until the new term so I thought you'd want to keep things low key for a while."

Rin turns away from me. "T-trying too hard to cover things up would draw more suspicion than being open and natural, right? Don't be so stubborn and just go with it!"

She breaks into a brisk pace down the street without me and I have to jog a bit to catch up. Neither of us says anything to the other for a while. Even though Rin said we should act naturally, walking side by side to school together like this feels anything but. I get butterflies in my stomach every time I steal a glance at her.

"S-so why did you look so grumpy before?" she asks awkwardly. I guess she's trying to start up a conversation.

When I remember my run-in with Fuji-nee, the tightness in my chest from earlier returns and my steps grow more sluggish. After relating what happened to Rin, I ask for her advice on what to do.

"You need to show Fujimura-sensei that you are serious," she replies almost immediately. "Her reaction is only natural as your guardian. I'd be worried, too, if I thought the only reason you wanted to go to London was to be with me."

I frown. Actually, I think that probably is the main reason. "What do you mean?" I ask.

Rin sighs at me. "It's no good if you aren't going to study at the Mage's Association for your own sake. If I have to drag you there, and you only want to come out of some misplaced sense of obligation, then you're going to burn yourself out struggling with things you have no real interest in. That's why Fujimura-sensei was concerned when you suddenly announced you wanted to go to London from out of the blue."

I chew on that thought for a moment. I suppose I didn't really consider things from Fuji-nee's point of view. It's not that she was criticizing my decision, but the motivation behind it. And maybe she has a point. I definitely never would have even considered going to London to study magic if Rin hadn't asked me.

"So why aren't you worried about me doing things for the wrong reason?" I ask pointedly, since Rin seems more certain of the sincerity of my intentions than I am.

"Naturally, because you're putting all of your effort in your magus training," Rin says, as if the answer were obvious. "I'm working you hard, but you're stepping up to the challenge. Maybe you complain sometimes, but you're a diligent student, and most importantly, you never give up even when you find something difficult. I can't doubt you when you're so dedicated."

There's a faint hint of pride in her voice and I feel my ears burn at her honest praise. When the weight of her words sets it, I realize she's right, too. Becoming a proper magus is a sincere goal of mine. Maybe going to the Mage's Association wasn't the most attractive idea in the world to me when Rin first suggested it, but now… well, at least I didn't hate it.

Would I still intend to go if Rin didn't? Probably not, but I don't think I'd be so miserable there as I originally thought, even by myself. Learning magic is… not exactly fun, but it is fulfilling. I get a sense of accomplishment from mastering a new concept that just isn't there when I'm dealing with something like math or chemistry.

"Then how should I show her I'm serious?" I ask.

Rin shrugs. "I don't know. It's harder because you can't tell her anything about what you intend to study, but I'm sure you can think of a way to convince her if you try."

I nod slowly. Fuji-nee may act like a goof most of the time, but she takes her role as both a teacher and guardian to me very seriously. She'll understand if I can plead my case properly. "Yeah… you're right. Thanks, Rin. I'll figure it out, somehow."

"Humph. You'd better. It'd be troubling if I don't have my apprentice with me at the Clock Tower."

I feel a grin form on my face as I watch Rin brush aside a lock of hair and hunch over into a sulky posture. You're just too cute sometimes, Rin, especially when you fail miserably at hiding your true feelings.

When we reach the intersection on the way to school, I remember an incredibly important fact that I'd somehow temporarily forgotten: I'm walking to campus with Tohsaka Rin! Halting in my tracks, my heads darts around wildly, scanning for any of my classmates who might have seen us. There's an elderly looking gentleman out for a walk with his dog and a couple of gossiping housewives, but thankfully no one I recognize from school.

"Shirou, why did you stop?" Rin asks when she notices I've fallen behind.

Still surveying my surroundings for signs of danger, I complain to my travel companion. "Can't you think a little more about me? When word gets out that I walked onto campus with the school idol, the female half of the student body is going to gossip and create all sorts of misunderstandings about our relationship and the male half will be out for my blood!"

"Hmm," Rin murmurs disinterestedly. "I can't help you with the males, but I don't understand your concern about the girls gossiping. What's there to misunderstand? You and I are going out, aren't we?"

She says the last part so naturally I almost agree with her without thinking about it.

Then I come to my senses.

"W-w-w-what?" I stammer. Her words are so unexpected that I lose all the composure that I've been working so hard to build up when I'm with Rin. "What did you just say?" Surely I'd misheard things. Even Rin couldn't boldly declare such a thing with a straight face.

"I'm saying it's not unusual for a couple to walk to school together," she says in the same nonchalant tone.

"W-w-w-what?" I repeat stupidly.

Rin marches up to me and points an accusing finger at my chest. "Don't tell me this is news to you. We've already been on a date once and it's obvious we both like each other. There's no rule that says an apprentice and master can't be boyfriend and girlfriend. It's cute that you're so naïve, but don't you think there's a limit?"

Even though I'm sure the last part is a jibe, Rin doesn't speak with her usual lighthearted, teasing manner. She's smiling faintly, but I don't feel like she's mocking me. She's actually serious. She's acknowledging me as her boyfriend.

I mean… I'm happy about that… I think? I just never expected that it would be so easy for her. I didn't think she was ready to consider us as… 'us'. But I guess it was me who wasn't ready…

"Rin, I…" I try to force myself to speak but my throat is bone dry.

"Oh, geez," she says sardonically, "you really are a slow one, aren't you? Well, fine. I'll put it in terms even you'll be able to understand."

She leans in towards me and all I can think is about how beautiful her brilliant turquoise eyes are… Her face keeps drawing closer and I finally shut my eyes tight to brace for the impending collision when I feel something soft on my lips.

It tastes sweet… and bitter… and salty… and…

…right.

I open my eyes again. Rin has a finger on her lip and she's studying me with a crooked smile. She's blushing furiously, but doesn't shy away.

"Was that clear enough for you, Shirou?" she asks.

I answer her with a kiss.

…and I don't give a damn if the whole world sees it.

Holy Grail War - Night Eight

"Hold on for a second," Tohsaka interrupts. She rises from her seat and starts pacing the room, a hand nursing her forehead. "That's just… not possible. You… I mean, Emiya-kun and I would never…" She struggles for a moment, a pained expression on her face. A moment later she collects herself and, in a soft voice barely above a whisper, speaks only one word. "Sakura…"

A face floats to the surface of my memories. It's a girl with plum hair, wearing that same soft, warm smile she never failed to greet me with nearly every morning for two years. But more than her smile, I remember her eyes. In them I see only trust and affection, and absolute faith that the one she loves will never let her down. Bile rises in my throat and I feel a dull pain in my right hand. I look down and realize I've clenched a fist, white knuckles trembling with the desire to break something.

I take a breath and exhale slowly. "Yeah, Sakura's been staying with that other Emiya Shirou, hasn't she? Do you know if they're getting along well?"

Tohsaka purses her lips and scrutinizes me for a moment before shrugging. "Who knows? You're a pretty dense guy. I'm sure it's troubling for Sakura when the person she likes is completely oblivious of it. I have to pity the future version of me that got stuck with you."

If she intended to wound me with those words, the effect is somewhat ruined by the fact that she's blushing as she says them. "How did she react, anyway? To when she found out about… us?"

A smile reaches my lips, but it's born purely from bitterness. "That's… another part of my story," I say softly before lapsing into silence. Those wounds are still fresh in my mind and I'd rather not open them again tonight, especially after what I saw in Zouken's basement.

The monotonous ticking of a grandfather clock fills the silence. My eyes wander over to it and I see that it's already past ten o'clock. I think it was around seven when I first started so I've been talking for… more than three hours straight? No wonder my throat feels hoarse.

"I think that's enough for now, Tohsaka," I note wearily. "You're probably tired of listening to me, so why don't we call it a night? I'll tell you about the rest another time."

"But you haven't even mentioned anything about The Fifth Magic yet!" Tohsaka protests. "You can't just leave me hanging by stopping here!"

I chuckle weakly. "Don't be so greedy. A lot happened and it's all connected. I can't just skip ahead unless you understand how each event builds on the last."

"Then hurry up," Tohsaka snaps, eyebrows drawn sharply together in an expression of impatience. Is it weird that I find it endearing on her? "As… interesting as the parts about you and I are, I'd rather just hear the important things."

"They are important," I insist. "You have to understand how we felt… rather, the way Rin and I feel about each other. We didn't just recreate The Fifth Magic in a vacuum. I could tell you about it out of context, but then you'll only know how we did it without knowing why."

Tohsaka frowns at me. "Why did you do it? There must have been something you wanted to change, but what? It sounds to me like the War ended about as well for you as could be expected, considering both you and I both survived."

I tilt my head slightly in acknowledgement. "You're right. We didn't want to change anything about the War. The fact that we went this far back in time was a mistake. We probably should have taken more precautions, but… well, that's all in the past now, isn't it?"

Or… is that the future…? I shake my head. This time travel stuff is confusing.

Tohsaka arches a brow. "So you messed up? Why didn't you just recast the spell and go back as soon as you realized it? It's pretty stupid to risk polluting the timeline when you don't even stand to gain anything from it."

"Do you have any idea how long it took us to prepare that spell?" I ask somewhat condescendingly. "It took us months to get everything ready. You think sorcery is just something you can pull out of a hat?"

Tohsaka scowls at me. "Don't get fresh with me! Whom exactly is whose apprentice, here? …or was? Or… will be?" She clutches her head. "Ugh, whatever. You know what I mean. I bet I did most of the work, anyway."

"You did," I admit, giving credit where credit is due. Rin busted ass on that one. I helped where I could, but much of it was just completely over my head.

"See?" Tohsaka says, smiling a toothy, self-satisfied grin. What's she so proud about? She hasn't done anything… yet. "Still…" she mutters, staring at me appraisingly. "You're definitely a better magus now, if the magical energy you're leaking is any indication. I must be one top notch teacher if I can turn a dunce like Emiya Shirou into a halfway decent magus. How much have I actually taught you, anyway?"

I respond with a nonchalant shrug. "Enough that you don't think I'm an embarrassment anymore, but it's still a work in progress."

I don't want to admit it, but I'm not really satisfied with the progress I've made. Rin assures me I'm developing according to schedule, but I can't even do simple things like form a contract with a familiar yet. The quality of both my reinforcement and projection magic has improved, but the subtler spells like veils and transformation of power are still beyond my grasp. And because I have an affinity for swords rather than a proper element, that branch of magic is completely barred to me. Seriously, how is it fair that Rin has an affinity for all five?

"But what can you actually do?" Tohsaka asks. "Besides projection and reinforcement, I mean."

I frown for a second before deciding it would be easier to just show her. Eyeing a half-full cup of tea we've left on the coffee table, I learn forward and pick it up, holding it with both hands. I close my eyes and concentrate, using the innate analytical power of my Magic Circuit to probe not the cup, but the tea inside it.

Liquids are tricky, as there's no defined shape or form, but that's less important because I'm not trying to 'reinforce' it's structure. That would be an impossibility in the first place because it has no structure, just countless individual molecules all flowing in and around each other in random, ever-changing configurations.

Rather than analyzing the structure of the tea, I seek its nature, the qualifiable attributes that govern both its physical properties, like mass and volume, and metaphysical properties like spiritual alignment and elemental affinity. As tea is more or less just water, its nature isn't difficult for me to discern. After finishing the analysis, I identify the qualities I seek to change and send a surge of prana from my fingertips into the tea cup's contents.

Visibly, nothing changes, but I take particular care not to spill anything when I set it back onto the table.

Tohsaka's eyes flicker between the cup and myself, brow wrinkled with doubtful befuddlement. "What did you do? It doesn't look any different."

When she extends her hand towards the object, I quickly bark out, "Don't touch it!" She flinches from the force of my voice and her movement stops abruptly. Allowing myself a tiny sigh of relief, I take a napkin, rip off a small piece, and drop it into the tea.

It quickly ignites into a tiny, short-lived ball of flame before shriveling into blackened ashes that sink to the bottom of the cup.

Tohsaka gazes at it mutely for a minute, and then at me. "What did you do?" She repeats her earlier question, this time with awe rather than skepticism in her tone.

I smile faintly, pleased with her reaction. Taking the cup back in hand, I perform a reverse process before replying. It would return to normal within a few minutes even without my intervention, but the threat of accidental spilling has me worried enough to expedite things. "You're the genius magus, Tohsaka. Care to have a guess at it?"

She frowns and takes her time to consider an explanation, so I ease back in my seat and enjoy the expressions that flit across her face. "That was… liquid fire? Elemental magic?"

I shake my head. "No. My affinity is 'swords' so I can neither summon nor directly manipulate any of the elements."

"Then how did you… do what ever it is you did?" Tohsaka demands.

"What I did was alter the nature of a pre-existing substance," I answer, and it suddenly occurs to me that I'm giving a lecture to Tohsaka Rin rather than the other way around. The thought is so bizarre and alien that I don't really know how to feel. It's simply… odd. Not unpleasant, but definitely odd.

"Projection takes an image and produces an illusion fabricated from nothingness, right?" I continue, making my best effort to both look and sound academic in the same way Rin always does in 'sensei mode'. "Whereas reinforcement only enhances the natural properties of something that's already real. My talent for both is a byproduct of my Reality Marble, but there's a third, intermediate branch of magic between projection and reinforcement that I didn't know about until you made to study it."

"Oh!" Tohsaka's eyes light with recognition. "Alteration!"

I nod in acknowledgement. "Right. It's probably not possible for me 'reinforce' something like tea. What am I going to do, make it wetter or tastier? I can't 'project' it either, because it doesn't have a cleanly defined structure. But I can 'alter' it so that it takes on new attributes that it didn't have before, like a compromise between reality and illusion."

Tohsaka nods sagely. "I'm… impressed, Emiya-kun. There might be some hope for you, after all." She smiles at me with a touch of pride in her eyes. "Then again, I wouldn't waste my time on a lost cause. I suppose that's to be expected of my apprentice."

Against my will, my ears start burning. "O-of course!" I say with a halting stutter. "You're a really malicious instructor so I've had no choice but to work hard!"

Her guileless smile instantly turns wicked. "Oh, and you still have a bit of naiveté, too. I'm glad; it would be less fun for me if I couldn't tease you."

I look away from her and grunt discontentedly. The Tohsaka army has rallied and stolen my advantage from me. I suppose that's what I get for letting my guard down. "Heh, don't think I'm such an easy target for you anymore."

"And I'm glad to hear it," Tohsaka says pleasantly. "One-sided battles would get boring after all a while. I'd be disappointed if you didn't learn to fight back."

The word 'battles' triggers a switch inside my head. I've gotten so caught up reminiscing about the past that I lost sight of the present… such as it is. A War still rages beyond the walls of Tohsaka's workshop. We ought to be more mindful of that threat, considering how many times it nearly killed Rin and me last time.

"Speaking of fighting, what do you intend to do about the Holy Grail War, Tohsaka?" I ask. "Are you still planning to participate as a Master, knowing what the 'prize' for winning really is?"

She frown pensively and looks from me to Archer, who has been content to stand quietly in the background for most of the night. Even when I revealed I know his true identity and recounted our battle at Einzbern Castle, he didn't so much as twitch an eyebrow.

"Archer, what do you think? As my Servant, you have a say in this, too."

The knight in red merely gives her a disinterested shrug. "I can't find any inconsistencies with the boy's tale, and he wouldn't have it in him to lie in the first place. Some of his information will no doubt be useful to us… but before we plan any future actions, I believe an account of his more recent activities would be prudent. We should know how his actions have affected the War, if at all."

Tohsaka nods thoughtfully. "Hmm… I'd rather hear about The Fifth Magic, but I guess you have a point." She turns to me with an expectant look. "So? What have you been doing since you came back?" She pauses and frowns. "Actually… how long has it been since you've arrived to the past? I'm not sure how much you know, but you seem to have at least a general idea of what's going on this time around."

I heave a tired sigh. Give this girl an inch and she tries to take a mile. Well, I guess I can at least answer her one question. I count up the days in my head. "Let's see… Rin and I came back about… five nights ago…"

Holy Grail War - Night 3

The sheet of dust around me is so thick that my chest feels like a cement mixer just from inhaling it. I swat at it futilely, hacking and gagging all the while, and I'm not the only one. From the sounds I'm hearing, I think Rin may have coughed up a lung.

Reduced to my knees with a single palm on the ground to support myself, I send a silent prayer to what ever gods may be listening. Please, please don't let this be another one of Rin's screw ups! When this dust finally clears, I do NOT want to see anything that looks remotely like a dinosaur.

"Die Reinigung. Weg!"

A flash of bright light blinds me, but when I open my eyes again the dust is completely gone. Ah, good. No dinosaurs. We're indoors, in fact. Maybe the spell worked after all, because our surroundings are giving me an odd feeling of déjà vu.

"Couldn't you have done that sooner, Rin?" I complain. "If I get asthma after this, it'll be your fault."

"Don't criticize others when you can't do it yourself!" she snaps back. After slapping her chest and coughing a few more times, she comes and picks me up off the floor.

Surveying our surroundings, I note a number of thick looking tomes piled into stacks along with some miscellaneous other oddments that appear to be of the magical variety. Well, that explains why it felt so familiar to me.

"Rin," I sigh, "why are we still in your basement? Did your spell even do anything besides potentially give us a lifetime of breathing problems?"

She puffs her chest indignantly and scowls at me. "Of course it worked! …probably."

"That doesn't exactly inspire much confidence in me," I note dryly.

Rin folds her arms and taps a foot impatiently. "The Fifth Magic traverses time, not space. We're in my basement because that's where we invoked the spell. Where we'd end up was never an issue. The only question is, when are we?"

"Okay," I allow. Frankly, I'm just happy not to have been eaten by a tyrannosaurus so I'll go along with her for now. "Then what's the plan? Assuming the spell was a success, should we just go find our past selves and explain what's going on?"

Rin murmurs indistinctly, gaze moving to the stairs leading to the living room. "Hmm… Let's just… head up and see what happens."

She's already halfway up the stairs so I follow her without protest. Even assuming Rin's past self heard the ruckus we made and was waiting in ambush, she'd probably think twice before attacking someone who looked exactly like herself… wouldn't she?

My concern turns out to be moot because nobody is in the living room. Everything is as it's always been. The only strange thing I notice is how much another person's house feels like a second home to me now.

"I guess you're out for the evening?" I venture. "Which probably means both of us are at my house. Either that, or the spell was a dud, after all."

"Or not," Rin says, pointing at her grandfather clock. The time reads just past eleven o'clock.

"So we've traveled at least three hours back in time," I observe. "That's… still not that encouraging."

"It has to be more than that," Rin corrects. "You and I were home three hours ago." Excitement creeps into her voice. "I think it worked, Shirou! We really did it! We recreated The Fifth Magic!"

"Hold on," I admonish before she gets carried away. "Let's postpone the celebration for a second and check a calendar first. Even if we're in the past, we still don't know exactly when."

"I'm telling you it worked!" Rin persists doggedly. "You should have a little more faith in your master! At most, I might have messed up by going a little too far back but it's better to err on the safe side, right?"

Ignoring her protests, I retrieve the calendar hanging on the wall. Just from glancing at the date, my head starts throbbing.

"Rin, you've got it backwards," I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose. "We haven't gone too far back; we didn't go back far enough! It's only February 2nd!"

"What!" Rin squawks, ripping the calendar from my hands. "That's impossible! I was sure that I…" Her voice trails off and becomes a low whine. "Oh, for the love of… I messed up again! Why does this always happen to me? I'm cursed!"

She kicks at her coffee table and upends it. "Damn it! I was so close!"

I grab her by the shoulders before she can trash anymore of her furniture. "Okay, let's stop wrecking the house and just calm down for a second." After walking her to the sofa, we both sit and I start working out a contingency plan in my head. "Maybe this isn't so bad. We started working on the spell way before February 2nd, so our past selves should accept our explanation pretty easily. If we just tell them what happened, then we can work with them to figure out what went wrong. Then maybe they'll have better luck with a second attempt."

Rin brightens almost immediately. "Hey… that sounds like it could work!" She smiles at me. "Good thinking, Shirou! You've gotten pretty reliable."

While secretly pleased from her praise, I fold my arms and reply ungraciously, "Yeah? Well, one of us has to be."

From the way Rin's grin widens, I can tell she doesn't buy my act. "Yes, you're coming along nicely. Just don't get cocky because you've still got a long way to go."

Heh. You won't have the upper hand forever, Rin. Someday I'll make you admit defeat so you'd better be prepared. It's only a matter of time before every apprentice surpasses their master.

"A-anyway-" I cut myself off when my voice stutters. Damn it, my stupid body should just obey my mind. Rin is going to have a field day if I don't pull myself together. After clearing my throat, I start again, "Anyway, what do you want to do now? Should we just wait until you come back?"

Rin eyes me with a superior smirk for a moment before shaking her head. "Let's get this sorted out as soon as possible. It'd be a waste of effort having to explain things twice so we should confront both of our past selves at the same time. Like you said, they should probably at your place."

The streets are empty as we head downhill towards the Emiya household. Considering it's nearly midnight, that's only to be expected. It's surprisingly chilly out. The past winter was rather mild and I don't remember it ever being so cold. Of course, I never went out for a walk at this time of night, either. As we draw nearer to my house, the air seems to grow even colder- unnaturally cold, to the point where I feel pinpricks on the back of my neck.

This is no good. I can see Rin shivering next to me. Just as I'm about to suggest we quicken our pace, I feel a tug on my sleeve.

"Shirou… stop," Rin urges in a low whisper. "I… I remember this feeling… We need to-"

She's interrupted by a flash of white light from off in the distance. It's probably at least a few hundred meters away, but it's still bright enough that I reflexively shield my eyes from the sight of it.

Wait. Did that come from my house? It's still too far for me to see so I use magic to reinforce my eyes. Even with the enhanced vision I can't tell, but I do see two figures standing in front of what may or may not be my front gate. Their backs are turned to me so I can't see the faces, but they're both wearing red…

"Shirou," Rin hisses. "Shirou, we need to get out of here. Now!"

Rin pulls at my arm and I back up a few paces, but keep my eyes trained on the horizon.

Then I see her. She comes from over the wall, leaping out with an unearthly swiftness and grace that simply isn't possible for any mere human. Pale moonlight reflects off of her gleaming silver armor, and her golden hair rustles lightly as she closes on the taller of the red figures.

"It can't be…" I whisper, shaking my head as if to wake from some impossible dream. I never thought I'd see her face again. "Saber…"

"Shirou, stop dragging your feet!" Rin snaps tersely. "We need to get away before they see us! This is too far back! If we contaminate the timeline now, there's no telling what may happen!"

Her voice wakes me from my daze and everything clicks into place. February 2nd… When I checked the calendar, why didn't I bother to notice the year?

"Rin, this is…"

"I know!" she interrupts. "I know, but this isn't the place to be worrying about that! Pull yourself together and let's GO!"

Somehow I manage to turn away and get my leaden legs to move. At Rin's urging, I follow her slowly at first but our pace quickly breaks into a sprint. Similarly, my mind also shifts out of neutral and I'm able to articulate my thoughts after some time passes. Sort of.

"This is… not good."

"You think?" Rin scowls. "And here I thought I'd nearly cured you of your stupidity!"

"Hey! I'm not the one who screwed up The Fifth Magic and brought us back to the Holy Grail War!"

We glower at each other for a second before breaking eye contact.

"Save your complaints for later," Rin mutters gruffly. "We need to find a safe place to cool our heads and think about what to do. Obviously, we can't go back to my house so… let's head to Shinto. You have your wallet, don't you?"

I move a hand to my back pocket. "Yeah."

"Fine. Then let's find a cheap place to spend the night."

"Fi-," I almost agree before stopping myself. I squint at Rin, trying to find a hint of sanity. Does she need her head examined? "How can you think about sleeping at a time like this! Don't you think we've got bigger problems than you getting your beauty rest?"

"Arguing isn't going to help us!" she says, giving me a reproachful look. "I know you're worried, but we have to keep calm and not do anything rash. If we screw up now, then poof! Our timeline goes up in smoke and you and I get paradoxed out of existence. And that's not even the worst possible outcome. Remember, it's not just our lives at stake."

I feel like I had a bucket of ice water poured on me. Rin is absolutely right. The Holy Grail War was a pivotal point in both of our lives. Even the tiniest change could have led to a disastrous outcome, and we're unfathomably lucky that things ended as well as they did. One misstep and Gilgamesh would have won, that cursed black mud flowing endlessly out of the tainted Grail to extinguish the lives of all humanity.

"Sorry, Rin," I say, my voice soft and somber from the weight of cruel realization. "You're right. We can't afford to act recklessly." I shift uncomfortably. "And sorry for what I said earlier. I know you worked really hard on that spell."

"Small good that did us," she spits in self-derision. "No matter what I do, I just screw up the most important things."

"But you always fix them, afterwards," I point out.

Rin barks out a bitter laugh. "I try, anyway. But it looks like I've screwed up twice this time."

"We both screwed up the first time," I correct. "And who can blame you for almost successfully recreating The Fifth Magic when there are only five sorcerers in the whole world?"

"How about the person whose life we're supposed to be saving?" Rin snaps angrily, turning her head away from me. "I just wanted to make things right, and look at the result. Surprise, surprise, Tohsaka Rin blows it again!"

She suddenly stops running and freezes in place. Arms hanging rigidly at her sides, she balls both her hands into two small, trembling fists.

"Everything is all my fault and even when I try to made amends, I only make things worse. What a joke. Forget the Mage's Association, I should just run away and join the circus."

I've heard enough. She thinks all of this is her fault? If that's what she really believes, then she's a bigger idiot than me.

"Rin, haven't we had this conversation before?" I ask lightly. When I close my eyes, I can still remember how it felt back then. It was a cold night just like this one, but my back was steeped with warmth. Stray strands of her hair tickled the back of my neck as a light breeze brushed past us. The moon looked so radiant that night, but I knew the person sitting behind me was even more dazzling, both inside and out.

"Remember what I told you then? You haven't made a mistake. If you walk down the path you believe to be right, there's no way you can be wrong. If you haven't made a mistake, then you can be proud of yourself even if you're unsuccessful. There's no need to regret anything. If you have the time to get depressed, then you have the time to bounce back and try again. Or, what? Do you intend to give up now?"

She instantly snaps her head at me and I can see her eyes glisten as tears catch the moonlight. "Of course not!"

I smile. "Then what are we standing around for? I don't know about you, but I'm cold."

"I'm cold too, you idiot!" she barks, wiping at her eyes with a sleeve. Inhaling a deep, cleansing breath, she composes herself again. "Heh. I know what I need to do. You don't have to remind me."

"I know," I say with a soft chuckle. Rin is so predictable sometimes. Since she seems to have recovered, I start walking again. The bridge to Shinto lies before us and the bright lights of the New City Complex twinkle like beacons on the horizon.

"Hey, wait up!"

Footsteps pound as she jogs to catch up with me. As she pulls to my side, I reach over and wrap an arm around her. Her body stiffens.

"H-hey, w-what are you doing?" she demands, shooting me a glare that somehow lacks any spite in it.

Grinning at her, I lean in close to her ear and murmur, "You said you were cold, didn't you?"

She blinks owlishly back at me for a second before averting her gaze, and I feel her muscles relax. "Humph. If you were a proper gentleman, you would have done so in the first place."

As we cross the bridge, she leans her head into my shoulder and whispers something so softly that the wind sweeps it away before it can reach my ears. It doesn't bother me. I already know what she said without needing to hear it.

You're welcome, Rin.

Holy Grail War - Night Eight

"What are you smiling about?" Tohsaka asks with a dissatisfied frown. Looking at her reminds of how much Rin has changed, and also how much she hasn't.

"Oh, nothing," I tell her. "Just remembering something trivial. Let's see, where were we?"

"You were saying something about five nights ago," she reminds me. "You came back, and then what?"

I briefly consider what to tell her say before deciding on, "Lots of things." I already related the events of my timeline's version of the Holy Grail War in their entirety and then some, and I'm not really in the mood for any more storytelling for one night. Rin's probably waiting for me and I'm going to have to save something for my explanation to her.

"Try something less vague?" Tohsaka reproaches sourly.

I shake my head. "Another time."

She raises an arm and her Magic Crest bursts to life. "How about now?"

"Nope," I say flatly, folding my arms. I've spent enough time as Rin's apprentice by now to tell when she's genuinely angry and when she's just being difficult. "This shop is closed for the night. Come back during business hours."

"You…" Tohsaka emits a growl filled with scorn. A tiny black sphere forms at the tip of her forefinger.

I glance at it and shrug. "If you plan on cursing me, you'll only have to wait even longer until I'm well enough to speak again."

Her scowl deepens and the sphere grows a little larger.

"If you're going to do it, then hurry up," I sigh. "It's getting late and I'm tired."

She grits her teeth and the black ball of magical energy swells to the size of a nearly complete Gandr Shot. I simply stare at it impassively until Tohsaka finally backs down and she cancels the spell. The sphere breaks apart as the unused magical energy disperses into the air.

"Fine, so you called my bluff. Where do we go from here? You still have information I want and I'm going to get it, one way or another."

"Don't be so belligerent, Tohsaka," I admonish. "It's not like I'm refusing to tell you any more. Is it so unreasonable to ask for a break? I've been talking for almost four hours."

"Huh?" she blurts in surprise and turns to the clock. "What? Was it already this late?"

"Geez, you can be so absentminded sometimes," I complain. Rising to my feet, I retrieve my jacket from the coat rack. "I'll be going now, if you don't mind."

"Not so fast!" A miniature red and black tornado whirls past me and blocks the door. "You aren't going anywhere!"

I sigh and place my hands on Tohsaka's shoulders, shifting her over to the side. She offers surprisingly little resistance, probably because she didn't expect me to remove her as an obstacle in such a direct way. Her weakness to surprise attacks is precisely what I'm counting on. While she's still staring in a daze, I open the door and make my escape.

"Get back here!" a voice screams from behind me.

I ignore it and start sprinting downhill, sending prana to reinforce my legs. The wind whips past me so fast that it stings my eyes.

As selfish as Tohsaka is, there's no way she'd let me out of her sight until she got the full story from me. That leaves me in an awkward position because Rin will start wondering where I disappeared to if I don't meet up with her. Either way, I'm pissing one of them off. Given the choice, though, I have to go with the one I'm not sleeping with.

I can hear footsteps hot on my heels from my back. "Archer, stop him! But don't kill him!"

Oh, crap. I forgot about Archer. Even using reinforcement magic, there's no way I can outrun-

Before I can even finish my thought, he appears in front of me and I skid to a halt. Kanshou and Bakuya held firmly in hand, he sneers and says, "Just give me an excuse, boy."

I throw up my arms in surrender. The distant footsteps behind me grow in volume until they're drowned out by the sound of heavy breathing. I turn and find Tohsaka leaning forward, hands on her knees. She places a hand over her chest and gulps down a lungful of air or two before straightening her posture.

"Looks like you've been working on your reinforcement magic," she notes coldly. "I hate to admit it, but you're probably better at it than me if you can move that fast. I can't believe you made it all the way to the intersection before Archer caught you."

I shrug modestly. "It was easier to improve something I was already good at than to learn something new I don't have much talent for."

Tohsaka flashes a few teeth when she forms a smug grin. "Too bad for you it's not enough to beat a Servant."

"Too bad for me," I agree sourly.

Her smile widens and when she speaks again, it's in a sickeningly sweet tone. "You'll come back with me now, won't you, Emiya-kun?"

"I'd… rather not." As malicious as Tohsaka may be, Rin has many more creative avenues for punishing me.

"You don't appear to have many alternatives," Tohsaka points out coyly.

She's right about that much. I could make a run for it, and Archer would likely cut me down in the attempt. Or I could fight him head on, and risk a high probability of the same result. Even though we crossed blades before, that was after he severed his contract with Rin. There won't be the convenient handicap of his low prana reserves if it comes to blows, this time.

"Maybe I'm just waiting for a miracle to happen," I offer with a shrug.

Tohsaka laughs. "If only life were that convenient. You know, you've become a lot more impudent, Emiya-kun."

To that, I grin at her sardonically. "What can I say? I picked up some bad habits from my ill-tempered master."

The amusement fades from her face and she scowls at me. "I think you've had enough fun at my expense for one night." She turns to her Servant. "Archer, knock him out."

Archer doesn't exactly smile, but he does flash his canines as a feral gleam enters his eyes. "I advise you hold still. If you resist, I may accidentally snap your spine in half, and what a shame that would be. Though, if your life is all my Master needs, it should be fine even if you're paralyzed. And if the unthinkable should happen, well… oops."

I glare at him, making no effort to hide my contempt. "There's no paradox even if you kill me."

Archer shrugs. "Given that you're still alive after mucking up the timeline, I would assume so, even if you were the one I needed to dispose of. That doesn't change the fact that I have a grudge against the boy called Emiya Shirou."

"Archer," Tohsaka calls impatiently. "I don't care about your grudges or who you were in your previous life. You're my Servant now. I gave you an order and I expect you to obey it."

The red knight glances over to her and heaves an exaggerated sigh. "I can't begin to fathom what possessed you to voluntarily take that one on as your master."

Hmm. He has me there. "Sometimes, I'm not sure, either," I admit.

Tohsaka simmers quietly from the sidelines. A vein pulses just above her left eye.

"Oh, it seems she's almost at her limit," Archer observes. "I suppose I should hurry and obey her before she loses her cool and wastes another Command Spell." He turns to me, still brandishing Kanshou and Bakuya. "Shall we do this the easy way or the hard way? It's your choice, Emiya Shirou." His self-satisfied smirk tells me which option he would prefer.

The rational part of me says I can't beat him. He is, after all, a Heroic Spirit. From the first time I saw him battle Lancer, I knew no human could ever fight on such a sublime level. But the rebellious part of me says that, even more than being a Heroic Spirit, that man is simply a person I can never accept. Archer is a vision of what I might have become.

Emiya Shirou's ideal is flawed. I knew that, even when I fought him before. But… to know is one thing; to experience is another. I swore back then to never regret my path and yet the choices I've been forced to make have caused me to doubt my resolve more than once. How can everyone be happy when life is a zero sum game? The price of one person's joy is another person's despair…

Damn it, I can't afford to lose heart now. All of this can't have been for nothing. Rin and I sought a miracle through sorcery and damned if we don't get one!

"As if I'd take the easy way out," I snarl, projecting my own twin swords. I'm going to wipe that smug grin right off his face. "If the sore loser wants a rematch, who am I to deny him?"

Maybe it's just reckless bravado, but I refuse to back down from this twisted, morally bankrupt man who also once called himself Emiya Shirou. So what if I don't know what the right answer is anymore? All I know is that he is definitely wrong!

"Emiya-kun, what do you think you're doing?" Tohsaka shrieks. "Do you want to die? I can't be responsible for what Archer might do in the heat of battle!"

I shake my head. "Sorry, but it seems like I have unfinished business with this guy, Tohsaka. Just like he has a grudge against me, I have a grudge against him. This is personal. I'm going to have to ask you to butt out."

She says something back in reply but I can't hear it because at that moment a whirlwind of force rushes at me. I kick back with my feet just in time to avoid Archer's swords as they plow into the ground where I'd just been standing.

"Archer?" Tohsaka stares at the smoking crater, eyes wide with the faint stirrings of fear. "Archer, I want him taken alive! Why did you attack?"

"The enemy intends to fight," Archer says smoothly, speaking in a tone that one might use with a child. "It can't be helped if he won't surrender peacefully. What else can I do when he's thrown your offer of mercy back in your face?"

Tohsaka blinks. "That's…"

I'm prepared this time when Archer charges at me again. Bracing my body, I hold my ground, intent on counterattacking after blocking him. A shower of red and yellow sparks fly when our blades meet. The immense force behind his blow makes the ones we traded in Einzbern Castle seem like love taps in comparison, and it takes every muscle in my body and every fiber of my being to hold him off.

"You bastard…" I growl when the strain in my arms reaches critical mass. "I'll never be like you!"

With a single burst of tremendous effort, I push him back and weave my blades through the air. They converge on him from opposite directions until meeting at a cross-section to relieve his torso of the weight atop it. He leaps away before the slashes can connect, but I graze his chin and draw first blood.

He casually wipes the trifling wound and stares at the crimson stain on his hand. "Well, isn't this interesting?" he snorts in amusement. After the briefest of grins flits across his lips, he clenches his jaw into a hard line and his eyes narrow. "It looks like I won't have to hold back…"

His hands blur with a flurry of movement my eyes can't track. Even when I reinforce my vision, I can only catch flashes of black and white and as far as I can tell, he's just projecting Kanshou and Bakuya rapidly and repeatedly for no apparent reason. Before I can begin to guess at what madness has possessed him, my ears pick up a whistling sound from behind me.

I tumble headfirst to the side, tucking into a roll as something whizzes past where I'd been standing. Archer is upon me in an instant and kicks me square in the gut as soon as I try to regain my footing. Reeling from the blow, I have to steady myself by using Bakuya as a brace, but slash at him with Kanshou in my free hand. He's already gone again before I can even blink and I cut only empty air.

"What's the matter, Archer?" I grunt. "Too scared to stand and-"

"Emiya-kun, above you!"

I look up at Tohsaka's prompt and see a host of myriad weaponry poised to skewer me. I recognize all of them. They all exist in my inner world, the desolate wasteland of infinite blades. I call their blueprints with my mind and load them into my Magic Circuit.

"Trace, on."

The blades of Emiya Shirou and Heroic Spirit Emiya meet in a deafening clash of steel and shatter into a thousand pieces. Loose shrapnel rains around me and I throw a worried look at Tohsaka. I'm relieved when Archer leaps to shield her with his cloak, but my own body is pierced by stray bits of metal.

"Good-bye, fool," the Servant mutters as if reading my last rites.

What's he's talking about? A few shallow cuts are hardly going to finish me off. I back away and wait for his next move. I'm not about to attack him when he's still so close to Tohsaka.

Suddenly, a wave of fear ripples through me as if I've glimpsed my moment of death. Mere seconds later, I hear it, the whistling sound from earlier. It's behind me again… and above me. And to my left. My right. The air shimmers in front of me and I see them, his favorite weapons come to kill me. By the sound of it, an entire salvo of them. There's no way I can stop them all.

…no. I can. Their trajectories may converge on a single point, but they won't arrive at the same time. Even if the delay is only half a second, that should be enough if my timing is perfect. My mind empties. There's no time to think, only to react.

My world becomes nothing but black and white. His blades pitted against mine, every battle ends in draw. Kanshou flies at my right temple, and Kanshou slashes to defend me. Bakuya aims to bury itself in my throat and Bakuya answers as a shield. My arms fly in a mad sword dance and a dozen blades break against another dozen blades. Two dozen. Three.

A dull throb at first, my head erupts into tumultuous pain and the speed of my reaction slows. Kanshou digs into my thigh when Kanshou is too slow to intercept.

Damn it… this headache… I can't…

My leg gives way and one of Archer's swords misses me from pure chance, sailing over my head with a sharp whistle. I fall to my knees and the air around me finally falls silent and I only hear the blood rushing through my ears.

"Emiya-kun…" Tohsaka whispers my name with naked astonishment. "You…"

"…did better than I expected," Archer interjects. "All but the final two? You must have the luck of the devil to have avoided that last one. It would have been fatal, too. Pity…"

My head pounds like a taiko drum, growing louder and louder with each passing second. I clutch at my skull with a hand, because it feels like it will split open if I don't.

I can vaguely make out the sound of footsteps as they draw closer. "A heroic effort, Emiya Shirou, which is all the more reason for you to die. The world has no need for a clown of a hero with an ideal like yours."

He kicks at Kanshou's pommel, driving it deeper into my leg. Through the murky haze clouding my mind, the pain feels distant compared to the agony and humiliation of defeat. How could I have lost to him, of all people?

"Archer, stop!" Tohsaka screams. "I only wanted you to knock him out!"

"Why bother?" Archer says. "He's already told us everything pertinent about the War. And given time, I'll wager you can discover the sorcery on your own. There's no need to keep him alive." He ignores his Master and pins my shoulder to the ground with a foot. "It's your fault for throwing away all of your bargaining chips. You've dug your own grave, so be a good corpse and go lie in it."

I grit my teeth and battle against the throbbing in my head. "Reduced to generic death threats, Archer? What happened to telling me to 'drown in my ideals and die'? At least that line was unique."

He snorts dismissively. "Isn't that what you're doing? You traveled back in time to save someone, didn't you?"

My heart catches in my throat. How the hell did he know that?

"Meddling with forbidden magic far beyond your understanding," Archer continues, voice dripping with acid. "Relentlessly pursuing your hypocritical ideal, heedless of the true nature of sacrifice. Equivalent exchange demands compensation for a miracle! Not even sorcery can break that immutable law! Kiritsugu once warned you, didn't he? That the essence of magic lies not in life, but in death."

The Servant stares down his nose at me in contempt and the pounding in my head intensifies to the force of sledgehammer. "No more second chances, Emiya Shirou. My counterpart probably hoped Rin would rid you of your naiveté, but it seems that you only corrupted her with your egocentric messiah complex. Know that you have my thanks for allowing me to rectify his mistake."

Damn it. Damn it, shut up! Shut your stupid face! I already know! I know I can't save everyone. I've borne witness to the rift between reality and ideal. This isn't about that at all! I'm not doing this in hopes of making everyone happy! This is for Rin and myself, two selfish magi seeking absolution!

"Since you insisted, I suppose I may as well indulge you," Archer flashes a grim smile as raises Kanshou above his head. "How's this? Drown in your ideals and die!"

"Ar-" Tohsaka's voice cuts through the night air. Maybe she's finally using her Command Spell, but it's already too late for that now.

The red knight brings his arm down on me with all his might.

Something is wrong. I can't… think. My thoughts. Scattered.

I see that place. The hill of swords. My world. My ideal. Empty, just like me. Only swords. Instruments of death. They can't save. Anyone. Anything. Only kill. Such futility. No truth to be found. Just an illusion. Is that my life? An illusion? A lie?

Can't look anymore. Turn away. Turn away and look at… the boy. The fool. He should die. It would be… a mercy. One he doesn't deserve. No matter. His life. All lies. Sophistry. Hypocrisy. No value. No meaning. Completely worthless.

No. The boy is… me. What? No, forget it. Have to look away. No time. Kanshou is coming. Move. Project. Do… something! Can't die here! Rin is… going to cry again!

Everything coalesces and my consciousness becomes whole again… just in time for me to hear a sharp whizzing sound as Archer's sword comes down to bear, mere inches away from piercing my chest. It's too late for me to do anything except close my eyes and pray.

Damn it. Was he the right one all along? I can't… won't accept that. I refuse to die like this!

…but do I really have a choice? I lost…

The sound of flesh being cut. The crunch of bones breaking. The smell of iron and a splat when something wet hits my face.

"Guh…"

A cry of pain… except it isn't mine. I feel… fine. Even the headache is gone. I open my eyes.

Archer's arm is still in front of me, only Kanshou is gone. In it's place is a huge black nail, driving a hole through the red knight's forearm. Blood spills from the wound and stains my shirt. My enemy isn't even looking at me anymore. That's when I notice the chain attached to the nail. I follow it with my eyes and it leads to the thing that's caught Archer's attention.

It's a tall woman with long, flowing purple hair dressed all in black. A mask covers her eyes, but does nothing to hide her ethereal, otherworldly beauty.

"Rider…" I whisper hoarsely in bleak amazement.

She nods slightly, as if to acknowledge me. Then, without skipping a beat, she jerks back on the chain she's holding and Archer goes flying. Bakuya still in his opposite hand, he slashes at the chain and severs it. Somehow changing his course while in midair, he leaps away and lands some distance away, shielding Tohsaka with his back.

"Why did you interfere, Rider?" he demands. "This is none of your affair!"

Rider glances at me before answering. "My Master has ordered me not to let that one die."

"What?" Archer gasps in confusion. Judging by the look on his face, his guess at what just happened is no better than my own.

Not that I'm complaining or anything. It looks like I got my miracle, after all.

I almost smile.

It was hardly my first brush with death and my survival had nothing to do with any action or skill on my part. Hardly a triumph or victory worthy of celebration, I nevertheless almost smile out of sheer relief and gratitude that my life was spared.

That smile is smothered in its infancy when she moves.

No warning. No preamble. Just a sudden flash of silver and the rattling of chains.

Archer is too slow. His bafflement over Rider's sudden appearance proves just enough of a distraction to give her an opening. Her dagger finds its target and draws blood.

"Archer!" Tohsaka's panicked cry pierces through the night air. Mere meters away, she steps towards her Servant, arm outstretched.

"Stay back!"

Archer's terse command brooks no argument and Tohsaka stops in her tracks.

"Damn it, it won't come out!"

Despite Archer's best efforts, the dagger impaling his shoulder refuses to budge. The next moment, he's no longer there and I only see a red blur fly into the air.

"Archer!" Tohsaka screams again, eyes locked onto the sight of her Servant getting tossed like a ragdoll. She doesn't pay any heed to the fluttering of purple hair as another flash of silver streaks towards her.

My body moves on it's own, but before I'm even on my feet, I know I won't make it. She's too far away and I can't match Rider's speed no matter how much prana I send to my legs.

There's not enough time left.

Tohsaka is going to die.

In that brief instant, my legs seize and my breathing kicks into overdrive. I can't make it. It'll never happen. Project or no, reinforcement or no, there isn't enough time. Everything is slipping through my fingers all over again.

Sacrifice. Loss. It is the very basis of magecraft. To gain anything, something of equal value must be exchanged. I understand that. Rin and I know the pain of loss all too acutely. It's the reason why we were willing to risk everything and gamble on a miracle, even if we had to break the laws of the natural order to obtain it. Even if that caused the world itself to turn its will against us.

If it costs us our lives, then so be it. If it costs the lives of billions of innocent and unaware people from an aborted timeline who will now never get the chance to exist, then so be it. We'd weighed our lives and theirs against that of a single girl and deemed the price fair.

Even now, I don't have any regrets. I would make that same choice all over again. So if I lose my life, I consider that fair compensation for a wager lost. Even if Rin were to… Rin and I made the same choice. We'll live and die with the consequences.

But Tohsaka… the Rin here in front of me never made that choice. Our sins are not her own. I can't let her die because I decided to drag her into our mess. I might sound like a hypocrite when there is already so much blood on my hands, but I don't care. In another time and in another place, I remember once telling her, "You've always shined." Whether in the past, present, or future, I want to protect that brilliance. To me, she is undoubtedly an irreplaceable existence.

And she is about to die right before my very eyes.

I swallow my fear and will my legs to move again. Time ticks imperceptibly in that moment. Precious seconds wasted. Precious few left to lose. Not enough to reach her. Not enough to save her. I can't spare any more hesitation. It has to be now.

"Time…"

It's always been the problem. There's just never enough, and once you've lost it, you can never get it back.

"Alter…"

But I'm not a magus for nothing. If there isn't enough, I just have to borrow some more. I refocus on a single image. The hammer is cocked. I exhale as it strikes the pin.

"Double accel!"

My mind expands and the turning gears of the world grind to a crawl. I can see it, crystal clear. Rider is almost upon Tohsaka, but she may as well be standing still. Inside the pocket of this bounded field, I can imitate infinity. Seconds begin to approach an eternity. If it's there, you can reach it. If it exists, you can obtain it. Limits are meant to be broken. Isn't that why man sought magecraft to begin with? To make the impossible possible. Or, to put it more plainly, to make dreams into reality.

The shrill clang of blade against blade reverberates through the street. Barely intercepting Rider in time, I release the magecraft. She gasps, caught off guard by my sudden appearance. I seize the opening to pull Tohsaka away with me but stumble and nearly fall after the first step.

It breaks.

My body. My mind. Everything. The very fabric of time and space tears. Shatters. The pain is indescribable. Excruciating. Like being crucified, eviscerated, and burned alive all at the same time. The price of cheating reality.

Innate time control doesn't actually slow down time. Magecraft like that begins to approach True Magic and is far beyond the skills of an ameteur like myself. Rather, my body itself becomes a miniature bounded field wherein my metabolic functions can be accelerated at will. In other words, it allows me to push myself far beyond the limits of what an ordinary human should be physically capable off. Once it wears off, however, reality asserts its dominance by "adjusting" for the disparity between the hyperaccelerated bounded field and the normal time flow of the rest of the world. Even a few seconds of use can literally shred me apart. I'm sure there's at least one internal hemorrhage somewhere in my body and probably a fracture or two.

I grunt and focus on reinforcement. If it's a bone, it can be hardened. If it's a muscle, it can be strengthened. I don't need to mend anything, just keep myself from falling apart long enough to get Tohsaka to safety.

"Emiya-kun! B-but where… How?"

It's not that I mean to ignore her, but I can't spare the time or energy on explanations. Gripping her hand as tightly as I'm able, I lead her away and scream, "ARCHER!"

A volley of arrows rain down behind us, forcing Rider to break chase. That punk and I may hate each other, but we both know his Master's life is more important than our petty feud.

I run without looking back, Tohsaka in tow. My body screams in protest with each step, but I grit my teeth and bear it. We just have to make it uphill to her house. Even the boldest Servant would think twice about a direct assault on the home of a magus. Tohsaka's in particular has some nasty surprises for anyone who might try to force their way in.

I cough and the taste of iron suffuses my mouth. Already, I can feel wetness filling my lungs. Every breath I take feels more painful than the last, but I don't slow my pace. We're still out in the open, vulnerable. We won't be safe until we cross the Tohsaka estate's bounded field. Just as it comes into view, my vision darkens. My breaths are little more than shallow pants now. I don't think my brain isn't getting enough oxygen. This body has reached its limit.

"Emiya-kun, stop. You're hurt."

It's Tohsaka. I have to strain to hear her, but can't tell if it's because her voice is unusually soft or if my ears have started to fail me too. I focus my eyes and it takes me a moment to realize that I'm looking up at her. Funny. I don't remember being on the ground. When did I…

"Tohsaka," I say, but her name comes out slurred. I can't seem to master my own tongue and struggle to get out the words. "I'm… fine. Get back home. I'll be along… in a while."

She shakes her head and the moonlight catches her eyes; they're glistening. "You think I'm just going to leave you like this?" she demands in that haughty tone she always uses to mask her concern. It's so familiar and endearing that I can't help but smile. "You have a lot of explaining left to do! Don't think you can weasel your way out of things by dying!"

"That cockroach won't die so easily," Archer's voice says with contempt. I can't tell from what direction, but he's close. What the hell is he thinking? If he's here then Rider—

"Do you have any grounds for believing that or is that baseless assumption?" a calm feminine voice asks, one I don't immediately recognize. Dread fills me when I put two and two together.

"Why did you bring her here?" I hiss, banishing the panic from my thoughts. If Archer wants me dead badly enough to endanger Tohsaka, I have to buy time for her to escape. I struggle to get back on my feet, but can't so much as lift a finger.

Move! It doesn't have to be for long, just work, you stupid body!

"Emiya-kun, stop," Tohsaka repeats, this time in a stern tone that brooks no argument. "You don't have to worry. If Rider wanted you dead, she wouldn't have stopped Archer from trying to kill you."

"It's not me that I'm worried about!" I snap. The sudden exclamation only stokes the inferno in my lungs and I grit my teeth so hard I'm almost afraid my jaw might break.

I hear footsteps approach and Rider enters into the peripheral of my view. "So long as these two refrain from further harming you, they have nothing to fear from me. My Master's only order was to preserve your life."

I stare at her skeptically. I don't quite believe her, but I'm not exactly in a position to object. At least she doesn't look hostile so I can only hope I can take her words at face value.

"What game does Zouken think he's playing?" Tohsaka demands. "He's your true Master, isn't he?" The intensity of her glare almost feels like it could physically burn a hole into Rider. Without looking away, she addresses her own Servant. "Archer, the same goes for you. Why did you bring her here?"

"I wasn't sure I could beat her without us destroying half of the residential district," Archer says indifferently. "And she lost interest in fighting after you got away. She agreed not to kill you if I agreed not to kill the buffoon and here we are."

"That boy is dying," Rider interjects. "I don't know what manner of magecraft he used, but he has reached beyond his ken and his body now pays the price."

Archer snorts derisively. "If only something like that was enough to kill him. Even against his own will, his body will heal anything short of a mortal wound. I'd be surprised if he couldn't walk on his own by now."

"Then why are there signs of necrosis where you impaled his leg with your weapon?" Rider asks.

"What?" A note of surprise pierces through Archer's mask of cold indifference. "That can't be."

"Archer, she's right," Tohsaka says grimly. I see her wince when her gaze reaches my leg. "He not getting better. He's getting worse."

I could have told them that. The thought never gave me much pause in the past, but I've always been abnormally healthy. From since I can remember, I've never been ill. Injuries, whether major or inconsequential, never seemed to stick. Even when that gruesome wound from Berserker healed up overnight, I shrugged it off, never questioned why. It's humbling, to realize how many times I should have died since then. Ignorance truly is bliss.

I'm still not sure if losing that ignorance was a blessing or a curse.

"Avalon," I wheeze. My chest is so tight that every word is an ordeal to speak. "It's gone."

"Gone?" Archer parrots. It's my first time seeing him caught so flat-footed. "What do you mean 'gone'? How do you lose something implanted into your body?!"

"Doesn't matter," I hiss. I'm not sure how much longer I can stay conscious. There's no time for long winded explanations.

"Can you heal him?" Rider asks, her gaze turning to Tohsaka.

She flounders, waving her hands frantically. "M-me? I can't! I don't know any healing magecraft!"

"Rin can," I gasp. "Ryuudou Temple. She…"

My entire body convulses in a spasm of pain. The tide of agony is too much to hold back anymore. I use the last of my strength to offer Tohsaka a smile. It really is nostalgic to see her. When I see Rin again, maybe I'll ask her to wear her hair up like that again every… once… in…

…

"Emiya-kun?"

…

"EMIYA-KUN!"