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Post Traumatic Stress

by lookimacloud

Chapter

The Problems With Hope

Hermione placed her morning post on the table in a fit of giggles. Poor Sirius Black, she thought, taking a sip of her tea.

She couldn't wait any longer. She stiffened in anticipation. Summoning up all of her courage, Hermione opened the letter she got from Bill Weasley, and sighed. Hermione was just glad that she could finally admit to Harry the real reason she'd written to Bill.

Bill Weasley had a friend on the inside. Hermione found out this little tidbit by mistake when Bill had casually mentioned that the law had to have an out clause. She guessed the Ministry wouldn't so heartless after all, if that were true.

When she'd asked him, Bill couldn't give her all the details, but he could ask his source to meet with her. Thrilled, she of course agreed.

Hermione,

The note read.

Gretchen will meet with you in Diagon Ally outside Flourish's at noon. She will be with a man named Thimble, her husband, who helped build the law's magical elements. He didn't want to talk, but our Gretchen is against the law and since she is my friend, she twisted his arm so to speak. Don't stare at Thimble's unnaturally red hair, it can be overwhelming. But honestly, the man thinks the muggle dye works for him.

PS: Bring Harry just in case, and I'm sorry my brother's such a dunderhead.

-Bill

Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. She had read the law backward and forward, no easy feat, looking for a way out. It took a lot of research on her part, but she was used to that. She had sadly found nothing.

Taking another soothing sip of her tea, she made her way to her bedroom to ready herself for the day.

Ooooo

"So, why didn't you tell me the real reason for this letter 'Mione?"

"Because I wanted to have facts before letting you know." Hermione grumbled. Harry didn't look like he was buying it.

"So you dragged me along on this trip because you have facts that you didn't have before, on a rumor that Bill heard, from a woman he works with, who is married to someone who put the law enforcement spells in place… And you think that this is legitimate? I understand that you are desperate Hermione, but we all went over the law several times. There was nothing there."

"I know that," Hermione snapped. "But honestly Harry, what would you have me do, ignore the possibility?"

"Well no. But I'd expect you to tell me so that I can help. You don't always have to do these things alone 'Mione."

Smiling a sad but grateful smile, Hermione grabbed Harry's hand and continued up and down the book sections of Flourish and Botts' bookshop. She was almost too nervous to actually read the titles they passed…almost.

In fact though, they had been coursing through the store for almost two hours now, waiting to spot Thimble's fake red hair outside the window. Hermione was surprised she even managed to find the five books she had, with how fearfully her heart was pounding.

It was almost time for Gretchen and her husband to arrive, and Hermione did not want to chance them having to wait. She stacked the two books she was carrying, on top of the three Harry was carrying for her, and made Harry stand in line while she painstakingly walked outside to wait.

The street was filled with shoppers today. Cloaks of every color bumped into the each other. Hermione watched a little girl dancing in front of the Owlry. She watched a couple of crowd weavers maneuver artfully around meanderers. She watched one witch be pushed forward wherever she decided to pause. All the while, red hair flashed in her mind.

She started out thinking that the man would have nice and tidy hair like Percy did. He did work for the Ministry after all. Then she imagined him with shaggy hair like Harry's. She could imagine the remnants of childhood puberty still on his face. Then she pictured hair like Ron's, and her heart instantly constricted.

"Hermomine?" A voice questioned.

Hermione looked around for the offender. He was a tall gentleman, not at all as she'd pictured. He did have painfully orange hair, but somehow it suited his strong facial features.

"Her-mi-on-e," The man's plumb, equally beautiful wife, corrected.

"Yes. That is me." Hermione smiled at the pair, holding out her hand.

"Oi 'Mione? A little 'elp 'ere?" Hermione instantly rushed to Harry's side. The poor man had a giant paper bag filled with her, obviously heavy, books in his straining arms. Why he didn't just shrink them she would never understand. Sometimes magic took a back seat in Harry's thought process.

"Harry, this is Gretchen, Bill's friend, and her husband Thimble." She gestured to the pair. "And this is Harry." She announced. "He came with me as a friend. Anything you have to tell me won't leave our lips, I promise. We won't tell anyone else. I just really am very desperate you see, and I really cannot imagine the impact this law will make on the world, but I also cannot imagine leaving it to live as a muggle, so you see," she waved her hand in a helpless gesture, "I would be grateful for anything you can tell us. Won't you Harry? Now say something. Promise them right now please, and let's get too it. I have plans to make."

Harry stared at her dumfounded. Oh tosh, like she couldn't ramble every now and again? It was a perfectly acceptable past time for all women, yet he looked at her like she'd grown a second head.

Bill's friend grabbed her hand, startling her back to her purpose. Thimble just looked bemused and a bit uncomfortable. Well spit.

"Hermione darling, don't worry. There is a way out." Gretchen assured. Hermione felt herself instantly calm.

"Can we do this quickly Gretch, I do not want to be noticed."

Hermione thought Thimble's concern laugh worthy, but managed to contain the impulse. Harry wasn't so professional though.

"Yes, yes. Do let her know so that she can be on her way."

"So," Thimble began, "The law's purpose is to repopulate." He glanced around again.

Hermione wanted to tell him he looked more suspicious doing that than just talking to her, but she didn't want to scare him off or distract him.

"But the law cannot affect witches who cannot physically bare children." Thimble continued. "If someone is unable to have a child, then the law would serve no purpose for the magical world. They will not be penalized for that."

"Is that it?" Harry asked, disappointment lacing his tone. Hermione understood why. Either she would be married to someone soon, or she couldn't have kids. Both of those options left her with a broken heart.

"Oh no. There is one more thing. Very low key you understand. This must not get out."

Hermione leaned in closer as Thimble's baritone lowered.

"The condition for same sex love." He whispered. "There are a lot of children needing a home. There was a clause put into the law for witches and wizards of the same sex being able to marry, as long as they take in a homeless child. This was an amendment made by the ministry to not only help the people who are un-attracted to the opposite sex, but also free up ministry money used for caring for these children." He paused, staring hard into her eyes.

Hermione could not look away if she wanted to.

"This is a top secret amendment. There are limited children to be adopted, and the ministry wants more children to help the population growth. Same sex partners you see, must file beforehand in order to receive this boon because spots for adoption are limited. Not everyone will get the marriage they want. So you see? It's first come first serve."

Obviously feeling proud of himself, Thimble leaned away from Hermione and pulled his wife into his side with an arm around her waist. Hermione still couldn't move. She did notice that Gretchen was saying something to her, but she couldn't understand it. She did notice Gretchen and Thimble leave her standing there, as they made their way through the crowd, but she wasn't even sure if she'd thanked them.

She came to when Harry placed a hand on her shoulder and apparated them to 12 Grimmauld Place.

"Hermione, let me get you some tea." Harry was saying, sitting her on the sofa.

The sofa was soft. She sank into it, feeling the rise of comfort around her. The painting on the wall smiled and waved at her. The muggle television sat front and center in the living space, a black void.

Marry someone of the same sex, and adopt a child? If, she managed to get her petition in on time. Could she do that? She would be condemning herself to a loveless marriage, but that might not be so bad if she had a child to look after and raise. If she married a friend of hers, then it wouldn't be like a marriage at all. It would be more like roommates raising a baby. She could do that. There probably wouldn't be a requirement for sex in this type of marriage, if it had no benefit of reproduction right?

Before she knew it, Harry was pressing a cup in front of her face. She didn't want to be rude, and he was blocking the television, so she took it and sipped. Harry sat down next to her, and Hermione continued to stare at the black screen of the tube, comparing it with her future.

"What's wrong Harry? You and Hermione look like you jumped the gun and wed this morning."

Sirius wedged himself on the other side of her, a real deja vu moment. Hermione shook off her shock and stood.

"Nothing Sirius, honestly, you Order members will come up with anything to be suspicious about. Harry and I were just having a conversation about yellow carnations and their purpose in terms of counter effect on the Elixir to Induce Euphoria, right Harry?"

Once again, Harry looked dumfounded. She really needed to work with him on that.

"Yes," Sirius agreed, "Harry knows all about that. In fact, we had a discussion after you left yesterday about something similar right Harry?"

Hermione flushed that he had not only decided to accept her lie, but that he had decided to play her game.

Not one to be made a fool of, even if it was her own fault, Hermione continued, "Harry was just explaining to me that yellow carnations, when frozen at the appropriate temperature and added to the potion, can not only reduce the effects, but in fact counter them right Harry?" She stared hard at Sirius, daring him to comment.

"Ehem, yes. That is exactly what I was saying."

Hermione whipped her head in Harry's direction. Well, welcome to the conversation Mr. Potter, she thought sourly. She really should head home so she could sulk in peace, but Sirius had sparked something in her that she couldn't walk away from. Challenge.

"I have it on good authority," Sirius continued, "that yellow carnations can also be heated to procure a much different result. If the temperature is precise enough, than the euphoria lasts much longer than without the flower. But it must be the yellow one specifically, for one must first know rejection and disappointment, before they can find true happiness."

Hermione had nothing to say to that. She glared at Harry for not being helpful, then at Sirius for being a worthy opponent, before turning and walking away.

Author's Note: I LOVED writing this chapter if you could not tell. I'm proud of me.