Hello, losers who can't wait for the eighth book (don't get, offended. I put myself in that category, too)! This is Cherry, the one and only, and this is the sequel to Little Arty, In the Past (I know, I hate the title too).

So without further ado, here is Blackmail!

Oh, wait. Hold on a sec. I forgot the disclaimer. Oops *blushes* I do not, in any way, shape, or form, have ever, by any means, owned a single thing/part/character of/in the series. I owe it all to Eoin, because he is the genius novelist, not me. Just to make things clear 8)

Artemis Fowl was looking for Butler. There were just some things that he couldn't do, like reach the toilet paper that Juliet conveniently put on the top shelf of the linen closet, and probably just to annoy him.

Grumbling, he walked into the kitchen to find Holly sitting at the table, snacking on the fresh picked carrots that were gathered from the Fowl garden. Holly smiled.

"Did I startle you, mud boy," He just glared. "Good." And she went on eating.

Artemis sighed. There wasn't any point in delaying it further, though he had a foreboding feeling about the answer. "What brings you to the manor, Holly? Weren't you here just last week?"

"There he goes again. More of his infamous hospitality. And for your information, I'm here on business. We could use you down below. No*1 needs your help with something, and he didn't get any volunteers." Holly stated while jumping off the chair she was in.

"You just implied that others find the task less than tasteful. Why on earth would I possibly want to volunteer," He asked, eyeing her warily.

"Oh, only because I have this…"

The genius's eyes widened at the sight of his baby picture.

Holly went on. "…and I plan on telling Foaly to email every LEP officer in Haven, telling them who this is and when it was taken. I'm sure it will lower your status of being a formidable adversary. And Butler agreed that you could use a dose of humility, before you protest," she grinned.

Artemis sighed again. He knew when he was beaten. "Fine, Holly. I will get Butler and we will leave immediately. You can fill me in on the way."

XxAFxX

And that is how the heir to the Fowl fortune found himself standing in his boxers with a draft slipping up where it probably shouldn't have been. His arms were crossed and he was shivering while still being as red as a tomato. Butler was "standing guard", as he put it, outside the closed door of the university classroom.

"Can you explain why I have to be in my, er, dressed as this," he inquired, irritated.

No*1 sighed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It's kind of like the time tunnel. If I do mess up the spell, you could be permanently wearing whatever you happen to be wearing. The less public the garment, the better. But these are relatively simple spells; you should have nothing to worry about."

"Fine. But what I would really like to know is what exactly you plan on doing to me."

"Well, these are shape-shifting spells, but not the simple, masking kind. These ones will actually change your body colour and can even add body parts." Qwan added.

"Well, get on with it. I'd like to get fully clothed as soon as possible." The mud boy grumbled.

Holly chuckled (for of course she was in the room. How could she forgo a chance like this?), and got up off the wall she had been leaning on.

"Okay, No*1, fire it up."

And after that, Artemis was a whirl of colour and mass. He saw blood red, bright yellow, and blue with green polka-dots on his body, all in the blink of an eye. He got an extra arm, lost an ear, and grew a tail and horns, but it stopped there. It just so happened that he had also been in the middle of switching colours, so right now, Artemis was a mix of purple and turquoise stripes with brown stars and hot pink skin.

He gaped.

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Calm down, muddy. Don't get your tail in a twist." Qwan giggled at his own joke. "If my apprentice gets stuck on a spell, I can usually get it, umm, unstuck."

Qwan snapped his fingers…and nothing happened. He snapped them again…nothing happened. By this time Artemis was getting worried. He did NOT want to go out in public like this, especially if he had to explain to his father why he always wore 'face paint' all over himself.

"Uh, oh."

The mud genius snapped his head up. "'Uh, oh'? Did you just say 'uh, oh'? What is wrong and how can you fix it?" He exploded.

"Um, ah, No*1, here, may have, uh, accidently hexed the spell." Qwan stuttered while he and No*1 were both looking anywhere but up and shuffling around.

Artemis' eyes bugged out. "YOU CAN'T FIX THIS? I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS SIMPLE!"

All of a sudden, Holly started convulsing in laughter. She couldn't keep it in any longer.

"Artemis…you shoulda…seen…your FACE! It was…HILARIOUS," she gasped between bouts. The 15 year-old looked on with confusion.

Holly calmed down, but was still left smiling. "Okay, boys. Fix him."

No*1 clapped his hands together and Artemis returned back to normal. "You mean to tell me that this was all a joke?"

Holly was still grinning. "Yes, mud boy. A joke. You got a problem with that?"

He was too busy sputtering to answer. He literally had to be led out the door by Butler, who was looking quite amused himself. It was apparent that the bodyguard had been looking through the window throughout the whole ordeal.

Holly was still smirking as they walked out. "And that, Arty, is what blackmail tastes like."

Ok, now before you all tell me off, YOU people are the ones who asked for a sequel. And on top of it, sequels are almost NEVER as good as their predecessors. So, when/if you write a review, don't tell me that it sucked troll balls, cuz I already knew that 8)