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Raven's world was dark and cold. No, not just dark and cold – it was black, the purest black, and it was icy…a liquid ice that chilled her to the bone and crept into every crevice and pore. Turning her head, she squinted against the darkness in order to find something to hold onto. Flashes of white flew before her eyes, blindingly fast. What were they? Raven grimaced, trying desperately to catch just a glimpse…
Where am I?
The flashes, they were her hands; her pale hands clawing at the blackness that was slowly creeping up her nose, in her ears, and down her throat. As they came into focus, the world seemed to turn to slow motion. Her hands looked so ineffectual against the infinite black of the backdrop, thin fingers alternately stretching wide and then curling into claws; from her peripheral vision, Raven could see tendrils of violet hair reaching out delicately. How strange, her hair looked so long, just like after she had battled her father…
Robin caught me when I fell, he caught me…there's no one here now, all by myself.
Where were her teammates, her friends and surrogate family? She strained against the water, chest burning with the effort of not taking a breath. Raven knew she wouldn't last much longer, but from the look of things there would be no rescue.
Help me...please help me, OH GOD…
She waited fearfully, wishing for the steel grip that had saved her before…and when nothing came, Raven began to scream. The black icy nothingness poured into her open mouth; it was choking her, stealing her breath. No one was coming for her. It truly was the end.
HELP ME…
And then…a warm hand gently gripped hers. It was hard and calloused and yet…it was gentle. The blackness was receding and being replaced by a soft dark color, somewhere between navy and black.
You came for me…
"It's okay, Raven…"
The voice, scratchy and low, soothed her. It was familiar even though it sounded raspy, perhaps from sleep or tiredness. As the phrase resonated through her, her mind's eye saw the blackness receding and becoming softer…it was warm now, more like being wrapped in a blanket rather than being suffocated. The hand remained holding hers, a slender thumb gently rubbing the tops of her fingers. The simple motion reassured her; let her know she wasn't alone and simultaneously starting to wake her.
"Mmph…" Raven groaned, eyes slowly blinking once, twice. Blearily she tried to look around her, tried to find the source of the hand in hers. An attempt at moving her body quickly made her moan with pain.
"Be still…you're not done healing. Go back to sleep."
Black and white; a quick glimpse of a domino mask peering down at her was all she got before Raven gave into the exhaustion tugging at her mind. The world swirled into soft darkness and she lost consciousness once more…
By the time Raven fully came to, it was the next morning. She blinked carefully, eyes staring at the metallic ceiling above her.
Where am I…
A careful shift of her body alerted her to the monitors attached to her; her ears noticed for the first time the gentle beep of her heart rate in the background. Raven frowned, thinking of the implications that the monitor represented. Slowly coming into more bodily awareness, she felt the unusual firmness of the bed beneath [consistent with the beds in the med-lab] and the dry rasping of a hospital grade gown against her skin. Gently she shifted her body, first testing fingers and toes, gradually moving to arms and legs to test for any hint of soreness. She found none and nodded once, satisfied with her body's ability to take care of itself.
"Rae, you're awake! How're you feeling?" A series of heavy clomps signaled Cyborg's path towards her. Raven turned her head and smiled at him, sitting up on the bed. She adjusted herself delicately, smoothing the paper cloth lab gown she was dressed in.
"I feel fine, you know that. Do we have to do the stupid physical this time?" She eyed him warily, grumbling when he motioned her to turn towards him.
The half-metallic man grinned at her expected crankiness, already reaching out to probe her abdomen for any sign of residual injury. "Any pain?" He pressed on her ribs, slowly feeling one side and then the other.
"Nope," she sighed, giving in to the exam. Cyborg cheerfully talked as he worked, jabbering about some stupid thing Beast Boy had done yet again and about how some new zombie video game was about to hit stores. Raven rolled her eyes good-naturedly and let her friend work. He removed the monitors as he examined her until finally he leaned back, satisfied with her condition. She contemplated the situation silently, eyeballing the teen in front of her grumpily; medical exams after injuries were a waste of time in her case, in Raven's opinion. The entire fact that her energy placed her in stasis and healed her in times of crisis made an outside opinion completely redundant. There was, however, the fact of the monitors she had been hooked up to through the time she was unconscious. Raven frowned, staring at the fallen electrodes at her side. Cyborg was fully aware of her self-healing capabilities and generally didn't bother hooking her up to any machines; he usually just laid her on a bed in the med-lab and let her body do its thing. She glanced back at his hand on her abdomen, still feeling for anything out of place. The physical was rarely this thorough; this detailed of an exam was usually reserved for the other members of the team. Raven bit her lip gently; this carefulness was a bad sign. She could count on one hand the number of times Cyborg had resorted to tracking her stats out of concern for her health.
"You're all good, Rae. I officially give you clearance to go back to kicking bad-guy butt!" Cyborg took a step back with his hands on his hips, beaming down at her. Raven didn't return the smile, but simply lifted one of the electrodes and gave him a serious look.
"Was it that bad, Cy?" The quick look of past worry crossed Cyborg's face before he could hide it from the violet-haired teen; Raven didn't often use her empathic abilities on her teammates out of a belief in their right to privacy from her, but the flash of fear from Cyborg was too strong to ignore. She narrowed her eyes and leaned forward. "Cyborg, tell me. What happened last night?"
He sighed heavily and let the exhaustion he had been fighting crease his face. It aged him by years, this adult concern appearing on a young man's face and Raven felt her heart clench a bit. He was her friend, one of her best friends – the whole team was essentially the only family she had ever had – and it broke her heart in no small way to see and feel the burdens that they all carried. For such young men and women, they carried crosses meant for far older people. Crossing his arms in front of him, Cyborg stared at her for a moment before answering.
"Rae…" He paused, grimacing as though speaking left a bad taste in his mouth. "When we were at the pier battling Jinx and her groupies, they managed to separate the team. You know how Mammoth managed to corner you at the pier? Well, Jinx was right behind him thinking she had managed to take care of Robin. Mammoth managed to land a straight shot to your chest and stomach, but even with taking that hit I think you would have been fine except for Jinx." At this point Cyborg looked away, glaring at the floor before looking back at her. "That bitch, sorry Rae, kicked you into the water while you were doubled over and at the temperature it was at last night, you never stood a chance. Coupled with your injuries, quite frankly I'm surprised you survived long enough for Robin to pull you outta the water."
She nodded once. "And how bad were my injuries, exactly?"
"Your core body temperature was lower than anything recorded for a live human being – again, probably due to demonic traits. Your heart rate was nearly nonexistent, ergo the heart monitor we had you hooked up to. We think you were thrown into shock, which is why your healing stasis was never activated. Brain activity was also at a near standstill. For all intents and purposes, you might as well have been a zombie." He snickered. "Beast Boy would have gotten a kick outta that. In all seriousness though, we think it was Starfire's almost fiery body temperature and her insisting she remain pressed against you for almost an hour that warmed you enough for your body to take over. Girl's definitely a walking heater. She flew you back here while the rest of us cleaned up at the pier, dressed you in the gown to get you outta your wet clothes, and laid with you in bed until she felt you were properly warmed enough to take over for yourself."
Fiery red hair whipping above her; large green eyes peering down into hers.
Raven swallowed hard, anxiety and a small ball of rage welling up inside her belly. She crushed the emotions quickly and pushed them into a far corner of her mind, setting them aside to meditate upon when she would be alone later. For now, she latched onto the one thing that stuck out at her. "Robin was the one who went in after me?" Cyborg nodded, and after a moment, let out a short laugh.
"Honest to God, Rae, I've never seen Rob so pissed. He freakin' came outta nowhere after Jinx kicked you, threw her into a wall. Right after that, he anchored himself to the pier with the grappling hook and just dove straight in after you. I think he used the retracting feature in it to pull the two of you up, since the water would've been too cold for him to swim back up." Here Cyborg frowned, deep in thought at Robin's tactics. Raven nodded, the anxiety beginning to well back up within her mind and belly.
A steel grip encircling her wrist…
She shook her head lightly to clear the memories. "Did Robin sustain any harm from the freezing temperatures of the water?"
"Nah. He finally let me examine him around midnight last night. Took me a couple hours to wear him down, once he was convinced you were gonna be alright. I think me buggin' him every five minutes is what made him break down and let me at least take his temperature," Cyborg laughed.
Frowning slightly, Raven asked, "You were paging his room every five minutes?"
She didn't entirely trust the grin that grew on Cyborg's face. "As a matter of fact, he didn't leave your bedside the entire night. Nothing come heaven or hell was gonna move that boy from this room, not until you started waking up anyways. Rob finally left around 4am. I think he mentioned something about you dreaming and waking up once."
A slender thumb gently rubbing the tops of her fingers…"Go back to sleep…"
"I think I remember waking up once. I was having a nightmare," Raven stated flatly, trying to keep the terror associated with the memory at bay.
Cyborg nodded, recognizing the emotional battle being waged within. He wasn't her surrogate big brother for nothing, after all. "Well, let's unhook you and then you can get on your way, Rae. As the closest thing to a physician we have on the team, I can clear you physically for battle. As your friend…well, let's just say you kinda look like shit right now and I know it ain't got nothin' to do with physical injuries." Raven made a motion as thought to speak, but one hard look from Cyborg made her think twice. There were few people capable of intimidating Raven; he just happened to be one of them. "Don't argue with me till you take a good long hard look in the mirror, Rae. Then we can talk."
She pressed her lips together firmly and stared at the ground. "Fine." Rising from the bed, Raven slipped her feet into the paper-cloth blend slippers that came with the gown and started padding towards the elevator. Cyborg let her go, watching Raven enter the elevator and shooting her a small parting smile as the doors closed. Once the violet-haired young woman was out of his eyesight, he sighed and flipped open his communicator to dial Robin.
"Rob."
The panel crackled with white noise before a raspy voice sounded out. "Yeah."
"She's on her way down the elevator now. You wanted an update when she woke up."
A few moments of silence made Cyborg wonder what was going through Robin's mind and if the Boy Wonder [although he was outgrowing that title quickly] had been sleeping. "…how is she doing?"
"Physically, she's fine. There are no residual injuries as far as I could locate. Temperature and pulse rate held steady at her normal levels past 2am this morning."
"How is she doing, Cy?"
Now it was Cyborg's turn to pause. Prior to last night, he had always known that Robin and Raven shared a special bond that no one else, even Starfire, had been able to touch. Whether it was from the mental bonding Raven had had to do during the Slade era, or just a natural development between them was up for debate…but the look on Robin's face last night when they had realized exactly how close Raven had come to death…Had it finally progressed past mere protectiveness?
"Look, Rob…you should really talk to her yourself. We didn't talk much about how she's feeling; you know how Raven is. I can tell you that she's got some pretty hardcore circles going on under her eyes and that after you left this morning, she tossed and turned for hours."
"Thanks, Cyborg." The connection was cut from Robin's side. Cyborg sighed, leaning back to ponder for a moment. He shook his head. Even if feelings had progressed past the point of protectiveness for the two birds, there was still the matter of Starfire. Although she and Robin were no longer an exclusive item, it was no secret that the alien girl still harbored deep feelings for the team leader. The two had separated solely because Robin had felt an inter-team relationship would be detrimental to the group as a whole. There could be vast consequences to anything cropping up between Raven and Robin.
He shook his head, grinning at himself. Here he was, jumping the gun and to be honest, there wasn't any proof that Robin wasn't just being a little overprotective over his second-in-command. For now, it was enough to be glad that the group had escaped death and destruction by the skin of their collective teeth once more.
Robin frowned as he leaned against the door jamb to Raven's room. It had been hours since Cyborg had woken him to let him know Raven was awake and on her way down. He had been sleeping fitfully since leaving the med-lab after Raven had briefly come out of her nightmare, and when he wasn't trying to sleep, he had been training in the workout room. Robin stared at the opposing wall. The entirety of last night had been one long nightmare, as far as he was concerned.
Raven flying through the air, her eyes squeezed shut and her face in a grimace of pain. Her body hitting the water; a scream ripped from his lips. Sending Jinx flying into a wall, the snap of the grappling hook around a pillar and the whine of the steel cable letting loose; he was diving headfirst into the black water and it was like hitting a wall of ice…
He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, willing the image away. A light ache throbbed with his heartbeat behind his eyes, shooting all the way around to the back of his head and neck. Robin pushed the pain away as easily as he closed off the dull ache from the rest of his body; it was a combination of bruises from the battle and recovering from the freezing temperatures of the water he had dove into without a second thought.
Raven slowly floating downwards, hair and cowl billowing above her head as she drifted. Eyes closed, lips open and arms raised above her head. Floating, sinking away from his outstretched hand as he swam frantically. The water was just so cold, and he could already feel his body numbing…she was Ophelia in the reeds, and he was too late…
A sound from the end of the hallway echoed lightly down to Robin. He opened his eyes, snapping his gaze to the left. It was just Beast Boy, laughing and sprinting off to go do God knows what. Robin glared at the trailing shadow of Beast Boy and checked his watch. No sign of her anywhere; Robin understood that after such a night like last night, it would be natural for Raven to seek out solitude somewhere to meditate and calm herself. She would be suffering from emotional and probably mental trauma as well. Yet, no one had seen her since Cyborg had discharged her, and Robin was beginning to worry.
Robin leaned his head back against her door frame, concentrating hard. Back when she had gone into his mind to see what he saw, to feel as he felt, a bond had developed between the two of them that no one really understood and it had carried over to their everyday relationship. For instance, her reflexes and thought processes had gotten slightly quicker since then; it wasn't enough for anyone else to notice, but to Robin, the difference had been obvious. Both of them were natural recluses, but Raven had slowly been drawn to more social gatherings. On his side of the bond, he was able to sense…something… from Raven every once in a while; last night had been a prime example. Robin had been on the other side of a building when Mammoth had landed the first blow to Raven and he had just known without seeing or hearing anything that she was in major trouble. Even as he was throwing Jinx through the warehouse wall, when Raven had hit the water, it was like a psychic echo had touched his mind and sent a chill down his back. He was also able to get a mild brush of emotion from others, but it was at random and not dependable.
Right now, he could tell she wasn't in her room; he would have felt the ripples if she had opened a portal or had travelled using her soul-self. Unfortunately, the connection wasn't strong enough to extend past his near vicinity so there was no telling where in the building she might be…if Raven was even still here at all.
Robin went back to staring at the opposing wall. He needed to clear his mind and think; he didn't need the emotional portion of the bond to know where she was. If anyone knew Raven well enough to calculate her thoughts, Robin was it.
If I was Raven and possibly severely emotionally and mentally compromised right now, where would I be?
Down the hall, a light noise signaled the wind blowing against the windows. It was getting warmer outside, but only slightly now that it was spring. Robin had been surprised that it hadn't snowed outside last night…
Robin blinked as a small grin spread across his face. He knew where she was.
As he made his way up the final steps to the rooftop, Robin could hear the wind blowing against the closed door leading to the outside world. Placing his hand on the doorknob and without completely knowing why, Robin paused and listened for a moment. "Robin…" came the whisper from just behind his left ear, as though someone had leaned in behind him. He knew without turning that no one would be there.
Pushing open the door, Robin already knew what he would find.
The roof appeared devoid of people at first glance; cold and deserted. The sun was beginning to set, casting shadows everywhere; the waning light did nothing to warm the air. It was chilly, and although the pavement was still slightly warm from the midday sun Robin could feel gooseflesh rising on his arms. He paused, taking a deep breath, and looked into the shadows to his left. Just around the corner of the door frame and sitting against the wall with knees to her chest sat Raven.
The hospital gown Starfire had dressed her in nearly swallowed the young woman whole. The Titans only bought the gowns in one size and they had to accommodate for both the tall height and large build of several members; as a result, the smaller members made up of Raven and Beast Boy tended to look almost comical in them. In this case however, it just made Raven look small and delicate, like a fine-boned animal in someone's palm. The wind blew only softly in this corner of the roof, making her purple hair rise gently about her head and face. When she turned wide violet eyes to him, Robin could see circles so dark they looked like bruises underneath them. With her pale skin, hunched frame and wide eyes, Raven bore a striking resemblance to the child version of her Robin once held in his arms. He deftly smothered the slight clenching of his chest at the sight.
Without saying a word, Robin closed the door behind him and took a seat next to Raven. He mirrored her stance, pulling his knees to his chest and stared straight ahead at the setting sun. She watched him for a moment without saying a word and then turned her gaze forward. They sat in silence for a few minutes before either of them spoke.
Raven was the one to speak first. "I tried to go to sleep in my room when I first left the med-lab." When Robin continued to listen without speaking, she continued. "I lay down, closed my eyes…and..." She trailed off, closing her eyes.
Robin finished her sentence for her, already knowing. "You felt like you were back in the water."
"Yes."
They lapsed back into silence, still staring out across the water. The sun was nearly gone with only a few glimmers of light still straining above the horizon.
She spoke again. "Is it wrong that my experience last night was quite possibly more frightening than my father?"
"No."
Raven nodded. Robin turned to look at her profile, studying her carefully. Her face was still so pale, probably due to the strain of trauma as well as the lack of real sleep.
Raven cradled against his chest, violet hair plastered to cheeks and a forehead that had been drained of all color. Rivulets of icy water poured off them both; black hair hung in his eyes, dripping liquid onto the limp form in his arms. She wasn't breathing…a sharp cough, a sputtering of liquid from frozen lungs…violet eyes fluttering uncertainly. She was alive…barely.
Violet eyes stared at him now, wide and steady. His heart beat once unsteadily.
"You pulled me from the water."
"Yes."
"Cyborg said you spent the night at my bedside."
"Yes."
Another long and steady look.
"Why?"
Robin looked away. "…I don't know."
Bullshit. The word remained unspoken, and yet hung between them as though it were visible. She continued to stare at him, her gaze boring into the side of his face. Robin determinedly looked straight ahead, not quite willing to acknowledge that part of the events just yet.
Raven shivered imperceptibly, ruining the loaded moment. Robin quickly unclasped his cape, draping it around her, ignoring the catch in her breath when his fingers brushed the exposed skin at the top of her back. In return, she ignored the fact that his fingers lingered just a moment too long on said skin. Neither raised their eyes to meet the others. Neither chose to think about the fact that neither his fingers, nor her back, could forget the touch; that their skin tingled where it had met.
Instead, they looked straight ahead.
After a few more minutes, Raven spoke again. "Robin…would you…I mean…"
He smiled at the now dark horizon. "Yes, Raven. I will." The sentence didn't need to be finished.
Stay with me tonight so I don't dream of drowning.
"Of course, I will."
Review, please! It feeds my urge to keep writing ;) Also, I'd like feedback on how long this should be...I can make this short and sweet, or long and awesome! Readers choice!