Author's Note: This is posted in Humor for a reason, so don't read it if you have no sense of humor. Okay, little back story on this. The first time my brother played BoF 3, we didn't really understand the Faerie village and so he set them up and then didn't visit for awhile...when we went back, 2 of the 4 faeries had DIED and the others were just floating around not doing anything. Everytime after that, we would always dread going and checking up on them for fear something else had happened. (On his 3rd time playing through the game, don't worry, no faeries died) Thus started the joke that the faeries, if left alone, would destroy themselves.

That is the idea behind this story. Read on.

Oops, forgot the legal stuff: I don't own Breath of Fire, obviously, so yeah...just fanfiction here, making no money on this...

Also, a few jokes in this make more sense if you read my other story, "The D-gizzle" first.

Everything was straight out of a painting. The trees were green, the wind was blowing, the water was clear. And, most importantly, the water had fish.

Everything was prefect.

Ryu watched the fish swimming around with a giddy expression on his face, already day dreaming of what it would be like to catch one.

Some people said he was fishing obsessed. He didn't really understand why…

Just after he had tossed the baited hook out, the peace was ruined with the heavy footsteps of Garr. He knew it was Garr since only the large Guardian could possible make that much noise as he stomped around.

"Fishing? Again?" he asked, sounding frustrated.

The blue haired dragon shot him a quick look, "Well, you were still sleeping and I was bored…"

"You should be trying to take over the world!" Garr exclaimed.

Ryu perked up, "With fish?" he asked cheerfully.

"No! With your Dragon powers!"

Ryu's expression turned indifferent, "Oh, right…those." he said, sounding bored.

Yes, he was aware that at some point he'd have to learn more about his heritage and everything that went along with that, but for now all he wanted to do was fish.

"We need to go to Angel Tower!" Garr exclaimed for what had to be the hundredth time.

Ryu rolled his eyes and cast the rod back out.

Nothing had changed in ten years; Garr was still moaning and groaning about going to that stupid tower. Constantly nagging him to go wasn't making him want too.

He'd rather be fishing.

"And maybe on the way we could stop at the coffee shop near the plant…" the Guardian continued, sounding hopeful.

Ryu rolled his eyes, "You and coffee…it's a wonder your not shaking half the time with how much you drink."

Garr just shrugged.

Apparently spending extra time before going to sleep meant finding likes and hobbies. Garr's happened to be coffee.

"So, are we going or not?"

With a sigh he reeled in his fishing line, "Fine, but I have to do this sometime. You know, ten years of not fishing is really awful. I'm so out of practice!"

Garr gave him a look and he ignored it in favor of packing everything up.

While doing so he commented, "You know, I can't believe you kept everything we had before Angel Tower the last time. These berries and beef jerky can not be within the poll date."

"I did not know what we might need when we met up again." Garr answered, and then added with a bit of an edge, "And I had to keep your fishing gear unless I wanted to die horribly."Ryu nodded in all seriousness, "Yes, yes you did."

An object fell out of the bag; a garish crown covered in ribbons, fake flowers and glitter.

"Oh, the faerie tiara. You kept that too?" Ryu said, gingerly picking the item up. "I guess I should probably check up on them, it's been awhile. I hope everything is going good for them."

Garr nodded over his shoulder, "There's a flower ring over there…we can delay to check them if we can stop at that coffee store…"

"Fine, yes, coffee…" Ryu conceded, waving the Guardian off.

They finished packing and walked over a slight hill, stepping into the flower ring. Everything sparkled and a bright light flashed, blinding them for a second before they reappeared in the realm of the faeries.

Nothing looked any different but as soon as they appeared, a blur flew over and smacked Ryu hard on the head.

"Dummy!"

Garr, on impulse, reached for his weapon but Ryu shook his head even as the orange haired faerie whacked him again.

Her tiny hands didn't hurt, but it was still annoying.

"Dummy! Dummy! Dummy! What have you been doing until now?"

Finally she backed off, panting from her assault.

"Hello Cadis, it's nice to see you too." Ryu said, glaring at her. He drew blank in regards to her question. Somehow he didn't think "I was trapped as a small dragon for ten years running around an empty mine burning things" was a good reply.

"I've been…busy…yeah, busy…" he stalled.

She shook her head frantically, "Don't you know that if you leave us alone we'll die?"

"Actually no, I did not."

She pouted and crossed her arms, "Well, now you do! You must help us build our village. We have no idea what to do, it's been so long since we've been on our own…"

Garr frowned, "You want us to build your town for you?"

"Noooooooo," Cadis said, sticking her tongue out, "We want Ryu to tell us what to do so we can build it you big dummy!"

Looking around at the shack that looked as old as Garr, the bush covered hillside and the beach, Ryu was skeptical, "Uh, are you sure this is a good place to build?"

The faerie looked around, confused, "Sure, why not?"

He scratched his head, "Um, okay…what about the other faeries? Weren't there three of you?"

Cadis rolled her eyes, "Yes, but they got bored because we couldn't invite our friends over so they sit around in the house all day."

Garr coughed lightly and reminded in his nagging sort of way, "You know, we should be going too-"

"Yeah, yeah," Ryu interrupted exasperatedly, "Angel Tower…I know…"

Garr nodded sagely and Cadis turned on the waterworks, "Then, then…you won't help us?" she whimpered.

He sighed, "I didn't say that, I…Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to help you out a little…"

Garr groaned and slapped his forehead.

Ryu turned to give him a look, "What?"

"Have you not realized that all your problems in life revolve around you offering to help someone?"

Ryu opened his mouth to deny that, then stopped and thought back.

"…Whatever." he said, instead, shrugging a moment later, "No worries Garr, how hard could building a faerie village be?"

Cadis squealed and flew over, squeezing his neck and making him choke, "Thank you!"

"Help us! Help us!" Cadis yelped. "Tell us what we should be doing to build our village!" She sounded desperate and pleading.

"…Well, you shouldn't be burning down the house you've just built," Ryu said, pointing to where a pink haired faerie was holding a lit branch to the roof.

Cadis gasped and flew over, smacking the offending faerie and then flying back to her usual spot.

"Sorry about that. She's Spark, a bit of a pyromaniac."

Ryu made a face and looked down at the clipboard he was holding, "Well, Spark is going on hunting!" he said, checking her name on the list.

The group had some time to spare so they decided to check up on the faeries.

They were behind on building and clearing, but at least the food supply was back up to normal after they had tried to burn the forest to cook the animals and cut down on hunting time.

Spark had since been moved to thinking up new shops along with another faerie, Shin.

The shack was looking worse with each passing day, but the faeries didn't seem to notice and just floated around, not looking like they were working.

Entering the building, they saw Spark watching the fireplace with interest while Shin tapped her chin in thought.

"So…how goes the shops?" Ryu asked.

Shin smiled, "We're going to put in a Starbucks!"

Momo looked confused, "Everyone has a Starbucks…"

Rei shrugged, "At least Garr will be happy."

Ryu was less then impressed by that store but didn't comment and instead asked, "Anything else?"

She nodded, "Yes! We were thinking about a pet rock shop, and a taxidermy's shop and a zoo!"

He tried not to grimace. The first one was stupid, the second scared him and the third was just asking for trouble.

"…Anything else?"

Shin shrugged, looking uninterested, "Well, a weapons shop but that's-"

"Great!" he interjected.

She frowned and he nodded, "Okay, weapon shop it is."

A new message was posted on the message board.

"Debo has new items for sale!"

Garr cracked his neck and stretched his wings, "Does she have coffee?"

Nina and Rei rolled their eyes and Ryu shook his head, "No, it's a weapon shop."

Garr looked disappointed, "Oh…"

Ignoring the Guardian's unhealthy obsession with coffee, they made their way into the ever growing building and turned right from the door, entering a small shop.

The faerie floating behind the counter looked bored, while another faerie was watering a shelf of plants near the window with a small watering can.

"So, you have new items for sale?"

The once bored faerie perked up and smiled, "Yes I do! I've only got the best!"

"I highly doubt that…" Ryu muttered under his breath while the faerie whipped out her goods.

A small tree branch and a metal bucket.

There was a pause and Rei held up his hands, "So…where're the weapons?"

The faerie glared at him, "Right here you dummy! These just came in and I personally guarantee they will get the job done!"

The group looked skeptical.

"Fine dummies! I'll show you!" the sparkly faerie said, smashing a tiny fist on the table. She picked up the bucket with some effort and began spinning in a circle to get momentum going.

The other faerie, the one watering, never saw the attack coming.

After four rotations, Debo swung the metal object into her friend, making the faerie crumple to the ground knocked out.

"Effective." Ryu said dryly.

Debo nodded and then picked up the stick, flying over and poking Nina in the ribs repeatedly.

"Hey! Cut it out!" Nina said, trying to swat at the small creature.

Debo continued, smiling in a crazed fashion, "See? You can totally make your enemies die of annoyance."

Nina finally took the stick from her attacker and held it behind her back, glaring.

"So, you wanna buy one?"

For the sake of entertainment, the blue haired dragon asked, "How much?"

"100 Zenny for the stick and 400 Zenny for the bucket."

Everyone's eyes went wide.

"Whoa," Momo said, ears shooting straight up.

With a sigh, Ryu started to leave the store and called over his shoulder, "Maybe you should work on making some better weapons for next time."

The faerie pouted, "Dummy…"

The familiar events took place in the flower ring, transporting the group to the faeries world in seconds.

They knew the drill by now and so they traveled up the small hill, stopping at the message board.

"…there are no new messages on the board…"

Ryu made a face, "Huh, that's odd. We've been gone for a pretty long time, I thought for sure they would have something to report."

With a shrug he led the group into town, halting when he laid eyes on the newly built house.

There was a hole in the wall, the interior visible, with a black soot ring around it.

"What happened!" Ryu asked, turning to look for faeries.

There were a number of them huddled outside the shack, looking guilty.

He turned towards them fully and crossed his arms, "I'm waiting!"

Cadis, who was usually the bolder of the faeries, floated forward and explained.

"Well, see, you told us that we should work on getting better weapons, right? So…last time you were here we took a look at Momo's bazooka…"

Ryu clenched his eyes shut, knowing where the story was going.

"…we tried building one and it worked and everything! Sort of…anyway, it took all six of us to lift it and we didn't aim right and…yeah…"

They looked to the seared hole.

Cadis looked back and smiled innocently, "Oops!" she said, giggling nervously.

"…"

She winced at the lack of a reply and the other faeries shrunk back into the bushes.

"We'll get on cleaning that up…" Cadis said, floating away.

Counting down slowly from ten, Ryu exhaled slowly and turned around to his friends.

"Okay, note to self, be careful what you tell the faeries."

They all nodded agreement and Momo looked thoughtful, "Maybe I should hire some faeries to be lab partners in the future…"

At their horrified expressions she quickly explained, "Their very smart to have figured out how my weapon worked just by looking at it!"

Rei grabbed the back of her robe and drug her told the flower ring, "We do not need more crazy ideas from you!"

Momo protested, "No, no, I've always wanted someone to help me out! The faeries would be great!"

With one last glance at the blackened wall on the building, Ryu followed his friends down the path, deciding that he would have to check up on the faeries more often to ensure this sort of thing didn't happen again.

Inside one of the new rooms inside the building, left of the main door, held a bookcase and a green haired faerie floating behind a table.

They walked over and she looked up, a sultry smile on her face.

"Hey," she said, drawing attention to herself, "you want to come stay with me?"

She winked.

The group froze.

"Uh…wrong store!" Ryu declared, racing back into the hallway, the rest of the party on his heels. Once they were a safe distance from the Inn, he looked to the others.

"Was it just me, or was that faerie implying something other then recovering HP?"

They all nodded and Rei said, "That was creepy."

"Let's…never go in there again," Ryu decided.

As they walked up the incline leading to the faerie village, the ground suddenly shook violently and made every stumble.

It only lasted a second, but everyone was panicked.

"Oh no, what now!" Nina asked, holding her hands open.

They ran up the remaining hill and stopped to see a large contraption facing the back cliff, behind the small house they had built.

"What in the…" Ryu said, eyeing it.

The faeries were all hovering around it while three of them worked together to load a rock into a basket like attachment.

Momo frowned, "It almost looks like a catapult."

"Right you are!" Cadis said, grinning madly. "See, we were clearing land by hand and it was hard! So, we were working on new weapons anyway and Doof said that was should use the impacts of the catapult to clear the hillside!"

Nina cringed as another rock hit the cliff face, stripping away some of the harsh edges.

"Which faerie is Doof so I can kill her?" Ryu asked, not pleased with the situation.

Cadis rolled her eyes and crossed her tiny arms, "Don't worry, dummy. We've got it all under control!"

Another rock was loaded, shot off and smashed into soft earth.

"See!"

And the earthen crater started to crumble, forcing the rock to tip towards the village and spill over the cliff side.

It gained speed as it rolled and fell, finally careening into the newly built house, bowling it over too bits.

Dust flew everyone and there were much coughing and waving to clear the air.

The faeries were all hovering looking shocked while Cadis turned slowly to the group.

"Heheh…" she said slowly.

Nina had both hands covering her mouth and Momo's eyes were huge while Ryu was just rubbing his forehead as if he had a headache.

"…I take it you'll be needing more faeries on building?" he asked.

Cadis smiled weakly, "Yes please…"

The newest store to be added to the ever growing faerie village was a music store. Curious, the group decided they would check it out.

The room was the same design as all the others, with the barest of furniture and one faerie sitting there with headphones on.

She looked up when they entered and smiled, "I'm Puka, take a look around, if you want me to play so tunes, just ask."

They agreed and noticed that there were a few bins with odd looking round things inside. Momo let out a squeal and ran over, fingering through the objects.

"Wow!" she said, pulling one out.

It was huge, about the twice the size of a person's hand, and round in shape.

"Look at this! It's a relic from before the Techno Age." Momo explained.

"What's it called, Momo?" Ryu asked.

She smiled, "A long play record!"

"It's weird," Rei said, waving a hand at it.

She rolled her eyes and put it back inside the bin, "You only think so because it's a machine,"

"And you only like it because it's a machine." he retorted.

The 'long play record' flew like a discus and smacked him in the head. He growled and glared at her but she was already inspecting the faerie's headphones.

Garr was standing by a box like machine that had readouts on it, sipping his latte.

"What's that?" Ryu asked.

He shrugged, "I don't know. The faerie said we could listen to music on here."

Nina was holding up a smaller, shiny looking disc than the 'long play record'.

"This one has been discounted five times…I wonder what it is?" she said.

They placed it in the machine and Garr randomly pressed a few buttons until the display lit up.

An awful and repetitive song echoed forth, mournful and annoying.

"Dun nun dun nun dun nun…."

Ryu made a face, "It's just the same few notes over and over…it's got no variation."

They left it on for a few seconds, wondering if the song would ever change.

About the third time through, Rei covered his ears and shouted, "What is it?"

Ryu looked up, surprised, "Have you heard it before? Because 'What is it' is the title of the song."

The tiger man shook his head, "No, I was actually asking what it was, because that ain't music."

Nina clicked it off and the faerie flew over, headphones gone as Momo was probably still looking at them.

"That's a song from a really long time ago, before any of you were around. We have some more like that. Would you like to hear them?"

With a glance at everyone, Ryu shrugged, "Sure."

Puka cycled through some songs and then nodded, "Oh, here's another discounted one. I don't think it was ever popular…"

They waited and then a strange rap like song start.

"Hey, it's the dragon god here to ask you what you want with him!

Maybe to have your trip recorded or to switch your friends in!

Chillin' and sleeping in the open is good!

Like casting Bolt X, you could!"

Ryu hit the 'stop' button, "No." he said firmly. For some reason, that song made him want to go smash statues to bits…

"What's Bolt X?" Nina wondered aloud.

Everyone shrugged and the faerie searched through the play list again, "Hmm, maybe a song from a time even before that! This song is called Dragon's Bane."

They all exchanged a worried glance.

"Why?" Ryu asked, morbidly curious.

"Because it's so bad, it kills Dragons!" Puka said.

He laughed nervously and suggested, "Um, let's not listen to that and say we did!"

The faerie shrugged and kept flipping through, squealing happily after a moment, "Oh boy! How about a real oldie? A song from before the last one. Way, way before that. Like, before there was a Dragon Clan."

A horribly screechy melody being played on some sort of string instrument came thought this time.

Then a voice started.

"Ugh, it sounds like a female Creeping Clan member trying to sing!" Garr said, plugging his ears.

Ryu likewise covered his ears, "It's making my ears bleed."

Puka shut it off and shook her head, "You guys are sooooooo boring! Your not interested in anything retro."

"Retro can go away….far away." Ryu muttered, ears still hurting from all the noise.

Nina smiled at the faerie, "We'll be sure to come back and check in again, like when you have more music from our time."

"Yeah! Like the hip song that was playing when Ryu met up with me at the burned tree house." Rei suggested.

Momo nodded, "Or my crazy tower theme!"

"Or my fighting theme." Garr added.

Ryu gave him a look, "You mean the music that was playing when you beat me up at the tournament of champions even though I was like, eight? That song?"

"Er…yeah, that one…" Garr said, looking sheepish; if that was possible for him.

The faerie nodded, "Okay! I'll get right on that, right after I help Spark with a project she wanted to do."

Ryu winced, "Right….Spark…I hope everything is still here when I come back,"

"Go to the beach! Go to the beach!" the faeries urged, trying to push everyone's backs to make them move.

Garr glared at one and she recoiled away, looking scared.

"Why?" Ryu asked, suddenly suspicious.

"Just go dummy!" Cadis demanded.

They complied, although no one was too thrilled about going as they suspected something bad might be waiting for them.

"I don't like this, I don't like this one bit!" Rei muttered, looking around for somewhere to escape.

Once they set foot on the sandy shore, they could see the gathered faeries all talking excitedly to one another.

"And the reason your all here instead of clearing and building and hunting is what, exactly?" Ryu asked Cadis, who pouted.

"Shut up dummy! Just watch."

He sighed and crossed his arms, waiting for whatever half brained idea they had this time.

A blue haired faerie came flying out to an open space near the cliff and declared, "Greetings! Today you are about to witness the next evolution in weaponry.

Garr frowned, "I am suddenly very worried."

Nods met his statement and Nina could be heard chanting a Shield spell under her breath to raise their defense.

"Behold!" the faerie squeaked in a loud voice, "The automatic bazooka!"

Momo raised a hand to her chin, "Hmm…I wonder how they solved the problem of the trigger getting stuck. That was always the trouble I had."

Ryu exchanged a glance with everyone and together they wordlessly took a step back.

The faerie hefted the slender weapon to her shoulder and faced the ocean, clicking the trigger into place.

A flurry of colored crysam shells rained out and the other faeries clapped excitedly. The sparkling creature tried to turn the switch off, but nothing happened, the weapon continued firing.

She looked worried and the bazooka slipped a little on her shoulder, causing it to spray out bolts towards the gathering instead of the ocean.

There were massive squeaks and yelps as the faeries fled back to their village and the one holding the weapon joined in the yelling.

She was spun around and around by the force of the weapon, bullets flying in every direction, causing small explosions around the beach.

The gun slipped to face the ground and sand was forced up in huge clouds while the faerie was lifted higher into the air.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

Everyone hit the ground as the bazooka was upright again, spinning around once more. Finally the faerie pointed it towards the far cliff side and a shell was fired.

The force of the explosion knocked her to the wall nearest the group and they watched her hit the rocks with a thud and then fell into the sand with an 'oof'.

The weapon was lying discarded a few feet away, it's deadly bullets once more shooting out to sea.

Everyone carefully stood up and brushed sand off their clothes, looking around at the now wrecked beach.

Ryu turned around to face his friends and asked, "Did any of us not see that coming?"

"I can't tell which shops are which and I don't remember where I put them all…" Ryu said, peeking into another room and seeing it looked just like the other ten.

The others all shrugged unhelpfully and followed him as he entered, walking up to the purple haired faerie behind the counter.

"Hi." he greeted.

She smiled playfully, seeming innocent.

That idea was shattered when she spoke. "I know some fun games we could play together…"

A wink followed the statement.

The group froze and stared at her.

"Uh…wrong store!"

A rush of wind accompanied the group as they ran from the store and down the steps to the first floor. Once there, they all stopped and looked back up.

"Seriously!" Ryu exclaimed, sounding nervous, "Why do I feel like the faeries keep hitting on me?"

The rest of the group all looked equally disturbed and unsettled.

With a shudder Ryu declared, "Let's never go in that store ever again."

The flower ring sparkled them into existence and they stepped out of it into the faerie's realm.

Everything was silent. No birds, no chattering, no wind.

They all looked around, confused.

A whistling sound could be heard growing closer.

"Down!" Ryu ordered, hitting the ground along with everyone else.

The spot just to the left of the flower ring was slammed with a huge, metallic boulder.

Then everything fell silent again.

"What in the name of Myria, or Ladon, or any other random deity is going on!" Rei asked to no one.

They all sat up and looked around, only to wince and go back down a second later when another whistling sound started.

This time the ammo hit much further away, giving them the courage to stand back up and look around.

"Alright, to the village to find out just what is going on." Ryu said, having to ignore the urge to just turn into a dragon and destroy something.

They crept up the hill and peeked around the bushes to see the faerie village going on as usually.

A hunting party had just returned and Cadis was busy talking to another faerie.

Everyone exchanged a glance, puzzled.

They entered the town and Cadis looked surprised, "Oh! We didn't think you'd come visit us for a while longer…"

"Why are there giant mounds of metallic rocks being lobbed at us?" Rei blurted out, sounding enraged.

Mayfly, the faerie Cadis had been talking too quickly zipped away to obviously avoid the question.

"Yeah! We nearly got flattened!" Momo said, holding her hands up.

"Oh…um, well…" the orange haired faerie stuttered.

Ryu narrowed his eyes, "Quit stalling," he said menacingly.

Garr nodded from behind him, as if to reinforce the threatening tone.

"…It's a new weapon we designed. We didn't think you'd be coming to visit so we were testing it! It's sort of a mix between a bazooka-a really big one-and a catapult."

"Cannonballs?" Nina asked, making a face.

Cadis nodded happily, a smile reappearing on her face.

"Why do you need cannonballs?" Ryu asked, exasperated.

The faerie looked away furtively and replied in a somewhat stuck-up tone, "Well, someone told us to improve our weapons and we have been! We're getting pretty good, actually, and we're always coming up with new ideas."

"Alright, that tears it!" Ryu said, marching over to the clipboard.

He took the pen and crossed out the 'weapon shop' with frenzied strokes until it was unreadable under a veil of black ink.

"There! No more weapon shop!" he slammed the clipboard back into place for emphasis.

Cadis looked surprised, "What did you do that for dummy?"

"Because every time I come in here I'm worried I'll end up dead!"

Everyone nodded slightly and mumbled agreement.

"Fine, what should we put there instead of a weapon shop?" she asked moodily.

Ryu threw up his hands and then waved them in the general direction of the house, "Just, put in a Starbucks."

Garr did a fist pump and then returned to being the stoic Guardian he was.

Without another word Ryu stomped back down the hill towards the flower ring muttering, "I just want to go fishing, but no! I have to deal with dragons, and loosing ten years of my life, and mutants, and nerds who need to be trained and insane faeries bent on world destruction!"

The others bid the faeries farewell and followed at a calmer pace.

"I'm so sick of hearing that same old joke!" Ryu said, fishing through his bag for the Faerie Tiara.

"What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese!" he continued in a mocking voice.

"I swear, every Highlander seems to know it too…"

The others nodded, "It is a bit stale of a joke," Garr commented, looking jittery.

"Ah, found it. Hopefully the faeries have calmed down a bit since I took the weapon shop away." the blue haired dragon said, rolling his eyes.

The tiara glowed the minute they stepped into the flower circle and a moment later they were standing in the realm of the faeries.

"Hmm, nothing looks out of place," Ryu said, turning around to drop the item back with all their others.

When he turned back, everyone else was gone.

"Oh, for the love of…this is not going to be good…"

He glanced at his feet and noticed they had neglected taking Peco with them.

The onion looked up at him and exclaimed happily, "Boge! Boge Pyruku!"

Ryu's eyes narrowed, "Just what were they thinking when they made you?"

Of course, the creature didn't answer and Ryu sighed and climbed the hill into the town.

It had grown quite a bit without the constant threat of destruction and faeries were floating everywhere, chattering happily.

"Alright, it shouldn't be too hard to guess where everyone went, and since there's only one building, they will all be inside there." he reasoned, nodding.

When he took a step, he nearly fell on his face because Peco was bouncing around his heels crying, "Pyu! Pyu!"

He shook a fist at…him, her, it, and stepped around to walk towards the building.

The first floor yielded no one and Ryu frowned, worried that the longer they stayed here, the more trouble they, and the faeries, could possibly get into.

As he climbed a staircase, he nearly ran into Momo, who was coming down.

"Oh! Hi Ryu," she greeted cheerfully.

He breathed a sigh of relief; one down.

"Where did you go?" he asked, slightly annoyed.

She fixed her scholar's hat, "Oh? Oh! Yeah, some of the faeries had questions about machines, so they wanted to talk to me."

"As long as they are just asking, and not trying anything…" Ryu thought to himself.

Momo continued, "And then they asked to see Honey."

His eyes went wide, "And?"

"And what?"

He opened his hands wide, "And you didn't let them see her, did you?"

"Well sure. They just went into that shop over there," Momo explained, sounding confused. She pointed to a room on the second floor, off to the right.

The door was closed with a 'come back later' sign on it.

"The Copy Store?"

Momo shrugged, "I didn't know what it was…what's a copy store anyway?"

Ryu couldn't answer her as he was too busy banging his head against a nearby wall.

After a few seconds, Momo coughed lightly and he stopped, counting down from ten and taking deep breaths.

"Okay, let's just find the others…" he said.

She nodded, completely oblivious to the trouble she'd caused.

They continued up the staircase and heard a commotion coming from up on the third floor. Ryu frowned and went up another flight of stairs, coming to a room with three faeries floating in it.

"235!" Rei shouted from the table he was sitting at.

The faerie shook her head, "Nope!"

He slammed a fist down on the table, "348!"

"Nope!"

Momo and Ryu exchanged a glance.

"Uh, Rei?"

The tiger man waved a hand at them, "Not now…996!""Nope!"

He slammed his fist again.

"What are you-" Ryu started to ask, only to be cut off.

"676!"

"Nope!"

"321!"

"Nope!"

"…457?"

"No!"

"555!"

"Nope!"

"REI!" Ryu interpreted as loudly as possible, making everyone in the room jump.

His friend looked over, "What?" he whined, "I'm trying to win at this game, see?"

"What game?"

The faerie explained, "Welcome to the casino, I know some fun games we could play together!"

Ryu rolled his eyes.

"Right now I'm trying to guess a three digit number because the faeries told me if I got it right, they'd give me the most powerful sword in the history of swords!" Rei explained.

Momo looked confused, "How do you guess the numbers?"

"It's a number the faerie is thinking of." he answered plainly.

Ryu felt his headache come back.

"Wait, let me get this straight," he said, holding a hand up, "your sitting here, yelling out numbers to try and guess the exact number the faerie is thinking of at any given moment?"

Rei nodded, "Yeah."

Ryu took a deep, slow breath as to not Aura something out of existence.

"Did it ever occur to you that they were simply switching the numbers even if you got them right?"

Rei sat there for a second looking thoughtful, "…Do you think they would do that?"

"I don't know, would they?" Ryu shot back.

Rei slammed the table for the third time, "Well, don't that just beat all!"

The faeries all smiled nervously, "Who, us? Cheat? Never!"

"And I'm the great dragon god Ladon." Ryu muttered, hauling Rei out of the chair and ushering him towards the door. The faeries pouted behind them, but didn't try and stop them.

Once out into the hallway, they saw Nina looking around.

"Good, that's three out of four." Ryu said, relieved.

That was until Nina spoke.

"I uh…I spent all our zenny."

His eyes went wide, "What?"

She winced, "I'm really, really sorry!" she said, waving her hands in front of her, "I just felt so sorry for the little faeries! They looked so sad and they were trying so hard and…" she trailed off and bit her lip.

"And what, might I ask, did you buy with all our zenny." he asked quietly.

Nina swallowed, "…Pet rocks?"

Ryu slapped his forehead.

"They are really good salespeople!" the princess defended herself.

Rei and Momo were wisely being quiet while Nina shifted uneasily, "Your not going to…like, dragon me when I'm not looking, are you?"

Ryu turned around and replied, "I might use Shadow Walk later, we'll see."

She winced and continued to apologize as they made their way down the stairs to the base level once more.

"Never mind about the pet rocks, let's just find Garr before he blows the rest of our funds on coffee."

Rei shook his head, "I'm pretty sure it's too late,"

Ryu nodded grimly, knowing he was probably right.

They entered the doorway with the giant Starbucks logo overhead and saw Garr holding an enormous cup with whipped topping piled high.

"What is that?" Nina asked.

The Guardian took a sip, "Coffee. Or, more accurately, it's a-"

Ryu cut him off, "A really long named thing with fancy and unpronounceable words that means, coffee."

Garr frowned, looking slightly offended, and took another sip.

"Your really obsessed with coffee, Garr." the blue haired dragon commented, shaking his head.

"So?" Garr said, sounding defensive, "I'll have you know I was supposed to go to sleep four hundred years ago and coffee is the only thing keeping me awake!"

Ryu made a face, "It is not, you have a choice when to turn to stone."

"Is too! I need coffee!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

Ryu pointed up at him, "You're a fibber, Garr. That's what you are, a fibber and an addict!"

"I need coffee!" the Guardian whined, sounding less then frightening.

Ryu rolled his eyes and Garr glared at him, taking another sip and then holding the cup in a protective grasp, "I'm not the only one whose an addict around here. Someone I know spends hours upon hours fishing when he should be going other things!"

"Oh no, you didn't,"

Garr nodded, "Oh yes, I did! Don't question my habits and I won't question yours!"

"You leave fishing out of this or I really will show you the true power of the Brood!" Ryu said, crossing his arms stubbornly and glaring at the Guardian.

Rei coughed loudly to get their attention and they both looked around at all the gathered faeries who were watching them.

"Let's go, shall we?" Nina said, laughing nervously.

They mumbled agreement and wondered out into the bright sunlight, Garr downing the rest of his huge beverage.

"Coffee nut,"

"Fishing junkie."

They both glared at each other but were quickly distracted by a clanking sound.

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks at the sight that greeted them.

An army of small robots who looked like Honey were marching out of the door and right past them.

Ryu watched them and sighed, "Let's just go before something bad happens."

They all rushed to the flower ring and returned to their own world.

The lost shore was a barren land with little to no greenery around it's unnatural metallic structures. The monsters that roamed this odd land were tougher then any others and the party was tired as sunset approached.

"Well, I think since we took such a beating today that we should sleep in an actually inn instead of camping." Ryu suggested, earning approving nods from the others.

He frowned, "Kom-ba-ba-nit or whatever that place is called is close…"

He glanced to his left and saw a sad, yet nevertheless present, flower ring.

"K town or faeries? 200 zenny or 10?" he mused, holding both hands out and moving them as if weighing the options.

The choice was clear and they all filed into the flower ring, watching as the tiara reacted and flashed them into the other realm.

However, the minute the light faded, they all looked around in a puzzled fashion.

The sky was an eerie shade of orange mixed with haze and tasting of dust. The ground was rocky and devoid of the grass and bushes so clearly seen before.

In fact, the whole place looked like a giant explosion had taken place.

Without a word they hurried up the small incline and stopped at the border of what used to be the faeries town.

Everything was leveled and left as dusty debris.

The only left standing of the once lovely town as the old shack that had been there when they first came.

There were three faeries hovering around, two of which were sweeping up some pebbles and dust and stopped when they saw the party.

The third, Cadis, turned and froze.

Everyone's eyes were wide and she grinned sheepishly, "Oh….hi….um, yeah…we were hoping to have cleaned this up before you got here…"

Ryu didn't say a word and half turned, half raised a hand before just waving it at them in a way that showed his complete annoyance, shock and finality.

He walked back to the ring of flowers and the others all looked around before heading for the flower ring as well, thinking they would probably have to clam Ryu down quite a bit after this, lest a poor monster get fried into oblivion.

Garr finally broke the silence.

"Perhaps it was not the power of the Brood the goddess should have feared so…maybe the faeries are the true architects of power."

Notes about the songs played in the music story:

The first is from BoF 2, the song that plays in caves/dungeons, which if you've ever heard it, is AWFUL. (And it is called 'What is it')

The second is the same rap as in "the D-gizzle" that I wrote for Ladon.

The thrid is 'Dragon's Bane," which is an item from BoF 1, in which you can use in fights against Dragons to send their HP to 1 (it effects your character as well,)

The fourth is from BoF 4, and it's the song that frog woman sings on the shore. I think it's called "The Unfading Ones" and it's really bad...