Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach

Rating T (I guess)

Mini author note:

"Hollow" – normal talking in the outside world and shinigami talking inside inner world

'Hollow' – thinking

'Hollow'– Inner hollow/zanpakutou talking to shinigami while shinigami is in the outside world. Inner hollow/zanpakutou thinking in the inner world.

"Hollow" –Inner hollow/zanpakutou talking inside the inner world.

… – Short pauses that couldn't be described otherwise. (Only when used in an empty line)

A/N: A huge thanks to my reviewers – Megachile, Tensa Zangetsu 17, MugetsuIchigo, Deviltrigger Dante, 90s kid, Alchemists19, Dark Little World, Shreelei, Sentinel07, Sterling's Blog, Lil Mexican, and anon for reviewing.

2nd A/N: To KazeKira –I can only guess that you were looking for an Über!Ichigo, since a lot of those stories came out at the point Ichigo lost his powers in the manga carried that plotline. *shrugs* Not my problem.

3d A/N: To Anon – You called it.

O-O-O

Chapter six: Troubles tend to follow me, part 2

O-O-O

(Previously on "Innocence is a Virtue")

The arrancar, hearing the sound of a sonido, interpreted it as a sign that his master has departed. He slowly stood up, and put white gloves on his hands.

"Let's go boy. In the name of the God-King of Hueco Mundo." A vicious grin spread across his face. "Time to rip you limb… from ..." he cracked his knuckles "…fucking limb."

O-O-O

As the arrancar approached Ichigo's unconscious body, his features became more prominent, as he emerged from the shadows. Rather pintsized for an arrancar, he wore a uniform of those that served under Aizen's reign, which was by now incorporated into the proper attire of arrancar everywhere. His mask covered more than half of his face, an indicator of his, to be quite frank, rather lacking powers. It took the shape of an ox, covering the left side of his face, and stretching for more than the half of the back of his head at the back. His sole bullhorn was broken off half way to the tip.

"Too bad you're not awake, former shinigami substitute. My lord commanded me to make it look like a work of an ordinary Hollow." He grabbed Ichigo by the neck, pulling his limp body off the ground. "I believe that includes at least partial devouring as well." He held his other hand against Ichigo's chest, his nails slowly digging into the teen's flesh.

It happened faster than the arrancar could even register that a threat had appeared. One moment he was ready to put the shinigami substitute out of his misery, and the second – he was sent flying backwards, launched with enough force to propel him out of the building they were in, widening the hole in the wall Ichigo's assailants made a few moments ago.

The arrancar was quick to get back on his feet, but even though he drew his sword immediately, both his prey, along with the person that got in his way, were gone.

"I'm so gonna get eaten for this…"

O-O-O

(Meanwhile, with team Matsumoto)

"Please tell me one of you two remembered to bring a flashlight." Matsumoto groaned.

"Erm…" Yumichika chuckled nervously, only to have his face illuminated by faint green glow sticks.

"This'll have to do." He heard Ikkaku mutter as he handed each of them one of those sticks. He immediately frowned.

"I'm not very comfortable with this, Ikkaku…"

"Why? Does the color mismatch with your outfit?" Ikkaku asked impatiently.

"Well, there's that – and you can't see very far with one of these. I'd rather avoid having a bullseye painted on me." Of course, for Yumichika, that was just a front. It was in perfect darkness that he could fight at his full potential. But at least, for now, it would have to wait till he was alone.

"If you two pigeons are done bickering…" A three-story tall Hollow spoke "…we could get this show on the ro-" Immediately, he fell, sliced in half by Matsumoto's blade.

"This guy seemed to be a pushover." Matsumoto said, giving the eleventh division's duo a wink. "Hopefully, others are too." A sudden rise in Hollow reiatsu made her bite her lip. "Or not."

"Fine by me!" Ikkaku said. "Yumichika!" He called out as he charged towards the closest Hollow presence. "Get the ugly one!"

Just before he got to slash the foe of his choosing, Yumichika shunpo-ed in his way, killing the Hollow as the green light revealed it.

"Don't butt into other people's fights, Yumichika!"

"They're all ugly – be more specific!"

O-O-O

Somebody nudged him. Ichigo groaned. Something was off. Like his head was full of cotton. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that the ground was somewhere above his head? Again, he felt as if he was being nudged. He opened his eyes, finding himself in an, err, rather undesirable situation. Namely, he was staring at his someone's butt. And not the right kind of butt.

"GAAHH! Let-! Let go!" He started to push against his rescuer, making the person drop him. "What the hell do you think you're doing? You're-" He suddenly stopped talking, as he realized he was talking to himself – literally. 'No way.' He stared at a mirror image of himself, albeit in human attire. Well to say a mirror image, that would have been a …

"Kon? !"

"Yo, Ichigo!"

"Whatthehell?" Ichigo blurted out, staring at what he considered to be his own body. Only, the way things were… "What the hell did you do to my body, you damn plushie?" he shouted at the modsoul. His/Kon's hair was dyed into toxic green, and even had a double set of earrings.

"How rude! Is that any way to thank someone for saving your life, Ichigo?"

"Save my what?"

"Remember dumbass! An arrancar was about to eat you. Eat you! How can you forget something like that?"

Ichigo stared at him with an empty gaze. "An… arrancar?" And then the memory came rushing back. The image of the arrancar whose reiatsu he couldn't feel, even at a meter distance. He looked down to the ground.

"You okay, Ichigo?"

"I'm far from okay, Kon." He said, than flashed a smile. "But I'll manage."

'So mature…' immediately flashed in Kon's mind. He was surprised when Ichigo coughed dramatically in his hand.

"Now," Ichigo spoke with an eerie sense of calmness, "back to the matter at hand." Like the jaws of a bear trap, his fingers closed around Kon's neck. Word after word, he hissed out through his clenched teeth. "What. Have. You. Done. To. My body?"

'He's not mature at all!'

"What did you do! ? Who gave you the permission to do whatever you liked?" Ichigo yelled, all the while shaking him like a ragdoll.

"I-i-i…Is-s…"

"Who! ?"

"Cnt… br…eathe!"

"KON!"

"C-clip-ons and h-hair gel!"

"What?" Ichigo frowned and loosened his grip. However, he did not let go just yet.

"The earrings, see" he took the left one off. "Fake, nothing to worry about… see…see…?"

Ichigo grabbed the right earring and yanked it off, painfully.

"I see. And the hair?"

"It's just hair gel. It'll washout, I promise!" Kon yelled, holding his hand over his right ear. Finally letting go of Kon's neck, Ichigo touched the mod-soul's hair, only to retract his hand in disgust.

"How much gel did you use anyway?"

"Don't ask. Let's get you to Uhahara's. Everyone's waiting."

Ichigo took a step back and turned away.

"No."

"What? Why?"

"I'm going home. I haven't seen Karin or Yuzu in over six months."

Kon sighed. "Dude, are you crazy? They'll flay me alive if I don't show up with you! What will you do then?"

"…Ask for popcorn?"

"Jerk… Don't take too long, okay?"

"I'll be there in an hour." Ichigo said reassuringly, then turned and shunpo-ed some hundred meters in the direction of his home.

"Don't take too long! You hear me!" Kon shouted after him, them more silently he added, "Asshole…" To his surprise, Ichigo stopped.

"Did you say something Kon?" The mod-soul herd him shout.

"Errr… Welcome home, Ichigo!"

…

Later, as Ichigo approached the home he knew so well, he allowed his senses to spread out, examining everything. And it was beautiful. Glorious. To him, it was no different than exploring a world he never saw before – a world he never could see before. For the first time since he could remember, he could feel out the world around him without the brunt of his own reiatsu getting in the way. It was like lifting off a thick, heavy veil – there, inside the house, he could feel Karin and Yuzu for the first time as something more than just the blips he learned to recognize. Far off to his right, he felt Urahara and the others, waiting for him. Being able to reach out into such a distance with his senses seemed… unreal.

Almost in a direct line behind him, Ichigo felt the presence of an arrancar moving away, most likely running for his or hers life after failing to kill him. At least, that's what made the most sense to him at the moment. He probably should be more worried. Running off to Urahara and the others, getting help and all, that seemed to be the most sensible course of action, but for the life of him, he just couldn't bring himself to go right away. The one thing he could think about at the moment – the only thing he could think about at the moment – was his sisters. He just wanted to run into the house, and hug them so hard that they couldn't breathe… and then make some rude, jerkish comment to hide how much he missed them. He'd probably slug that father of his in the face, and then try to outshout him in the pointless argument that would ensue – simply because he could, because it was fun. And everything would be back as it used to be. Before Aizen. Before the shinigami. Before Rukia. He winced at the last thought, feeling guilty for thinking about her like that. Maybe he would make it up to her somehow… subtly, of course.

'You still know how to do subtle, do you Ichigo?' He asked himself. His past record as a shinigami begged to differ. Over the past year, subtle more or less took upon a meaning of 'slightly less explosions than usual'. 'Maybe I should just get some fireworks, nothing big… kill two birds with one stone… eh, rocket.' He grabbed the door knob.

O-O-O

(at the same time)

"You seriously don't look so good, Hichigo-san."

The aforementioned Hollow was laying on the ground of the ruined city, trying to regain his strength, and to shut out the irritating comments of Ichigo's soul's newest tenant – none other than Aizen Sōsuke… in a way.

"Up yours – and what did I tell you about that nickname!" Aizen smirked, leaning back on a large chunk of torn off wall.

"But Hichigo-san, it's very confusing thinking of you both as Ichigo."

"NO IT ISN'T!"

"But Hichigo-san-"

"SHUT UP! I swear to God I liked you better when you had no sense of humor." The sight of Aizen laughing just served to piss him off even further. The black-robed spirit had to duck to avoid a rock that the Hollow threw at him. Funny how a break from all the scheming and conniving could change a person.

"Jokes aside," he paused and tossed a glance over the ruined landscape before continuing, "what are your plans for restoring this place? You most certainly do not plan to simply continue like this. In the end, every battery must run out."

The hollow did his best to get back up on his knees. "None of your business. We have a truce, not a bloody thanksgiving." The smirk on the spectre's face served only to infuriate him further. "Don't go buddy-buddy with me. That crap won't fly." Truthfully, he had no clue how to restore the sideways world back to being, well… sideways. Maybe it would all come back as Ichigo slowly recovered. Maybe it wouldn't. Like Aizen said, he was just the battery – Zangetsu was the real brain of the operation. Either way, the less Aizen knew, the better.

O-O-O

(at the same time)

"You're kidding, right?" Hirako Shinji kicked back in his chair and raised his feet on the table. He eyed for Urahara beneath his newsboy hat. "Seems like ol'Ichigo took a bit of a detour along the way, hmmm?" He sipped on his coffee. "He never was much of a prioritizer now, was he?" For some reason, ever since they realized where the strawberry was heading, Urahara wouldn't leave his desk.

"Oi! Don't bloody go an' ignore me! What the hell are you fiddling with there anyway?"

"You'll see."

"You're not exactly made off glass you know. Can't see through ya."

"Be patient."

"You be patient. I'm bored."

"Then why don't you go and wait in the main room like everybody el- ouch!" He quickly stuck his thumb in his mouth.
"Hurt yourself now, didn't ya?"

"Mhmm. Mnow shushup!" (Now shut up!)

"Wha'd you got 'ere, anyway? And if it's another world-shattering doohickey like the last one, I call dibs."

"Nothing of the sort." Urahara said with a joyful smirk, then lifted the tube-like device on his shoulder, mentally counting down. 'Three, two, one…' The unmistakable sound of a coffee cup being smashed to bits at it hit the ground filled the room as he turned around to show off his latest toy. 'Called it.'

"Is that a rocket launcher?"

"Don't be ridiculous." Urahara scoffed at the insult. "It's a guided rocket launcher." He quickly typed in some numbers at the small keypad at the side of the weapon. In three large steps, he was next to the window, one leg on the frame, and grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"Lock'n'load!"

O-O-O

Ichigo grabbed the door knob.

Suddenly there was this sound of an object flying through the air. He turned around.

"What the f…!" The rest of it was lost as he was hit by a missile that splattered all over the facade of his home, leaving behind one clear 'Ichigo' outlined clean spot.

"Hh-ptui! Damnit, shit got in my mouth!" He tried to rub it out of his eyes, when he noticed the redness of it. "Is this blood?" He had a pretty good idea where the missile came from. 'When I get my hands on him, I'll shove an Ōkasen up his ass.' He paused for a second, rethinking his kidō of vengeance. 'That does not seem physically possible…'

"Shakkahō it is!"

He didn't even bother to read the message that by now had appeared written across the wall in fake blood.

"Better get your mop'n'bucket ready, Urahara, I'm coming for you!"

O-O-O

Urahara suddenly felt a shiver go down his spine.

"You know, in retrospect, that might not have been the best course of action."

"Wow. And I thought you were the smart one." Shinji mocked as he walked up next to the shopkeeper and patted him on the back. Suddenly the door of the room snapped open and Ishida Uryuu stepped inside.

"What was that noise?"

"Just a little experiment. Here, hold this." Urahara said with a smirk as he tossed the used up rocket launcher to the Quincy.

"What's this?"

As on cue, Urahara put his arm around Shinji's shoulder. They both grinned like madmen, and gave the Quincy thumbs up.

"It's a surprise!"

O-O-O

(Roughly fifteen minutes later)

Ichigo stomped his way into Urahara's shop, out of breath and steaming red from anger… and covered head to toe in fake blood, but let's forget that.

"Bucket-hat!" He walked past his shocked friends, straight to the back room.

Inside the room, Ishida was sitting down with the Launcher in hands. "So you type the coordinates in here, and the missile scoots off to wherever you want it too…" He caught the sight of Ichigo covered in red and drawing his zanpakutou and put two and two together. "Oh… I'll get you for this bucket-hat." Urahara in turn smiled innocently. Ichigo could almost hear the unspoken 'I'm an angel, really'.

Behind the closed door, the vaizard, as well as Inoue and Chad cringed at the sounds of slashing swords and kidō fire, right before the door itself was blown off its hinges. Hiyori was the first to start laughing as all four of them emerged from the room, completely black and charred. She was quickly joined by others once they realized what happened.

Urahara coughed out smoke.

"Why'd you", he stopped to cough again, "why'd you use a spell you didn't master yet, damnit?"

"Shut up!" Ichigo croaked. "Three of us aren't done here yet."

"Hey don't mix me in all of this," Shinji muttered as he rubbed his eyes, "I had nothing to do with this!"

"You are aware I will pay you back for this, right Urahara-san?" Said Ishida as he put his cracked glasses back on.

Finally, Yoruichi had had enough. She snapped her fingers, giving the silent command. Before the four of them could react, Hiyori started moving between them fast as lightning, swinging her deadly sandals to the left and right, one in each hand, with lethal surgical precision. All four were quickly subdued and on the floor holding their various body parts.

"Why didn't you just kill me?" Shinji barely muttered through clenched teeth, while clutching his crotch. He was rewarded by a stuck out tongue from both Hiyori and Yoruichi.

"Maybe now we can get down to business." Ichigo heard the princess say.

O-O-O

End of chapter 6

O-O-O

A/N: Done! Just three more chapters till the end of the first story arc! I'm sorry this chapter is shorter than the others. It just felt right to end it there. I promise the next chapter will be longer than average.

AND I'll update sooner! *crosses fingers behind back* I promise!

Don't forget to drop a review while you're still here. Pretty please?

~KuroiTori-sama

PS: I'm looking for cover images for this story. Any suggestions?