Mistake and Regrets

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters although I met another person who totally agrees with me that Bella is a horrible role model and a weak heroine - which is using the term loosely. HA!

He moves inside of her, sliding in and out of her as his eyes focus on the headboard. Her moans echo throughout the room, telling the tales of their actions and the aroma of their combined scent proves that this hasn't been just a one –time thing. Her scent is a sickly, sweet aroma that burns his sensitive nose. Her body is much too small for his large frame to do everything that he would want to do while caught up in the throes of passion. Her skin is much too pale and her bronze colored hair only reminds him of her father. Jacob's body convulses at the thought of what he's doing; what he's

been doing for the last two-days. His partner moans even louder, obviously, enjoying the new and sudden action believing that he's finally getting into it. The convulsion has seemed to awaken whatever part of him has been either silently going along with this loveless fucking or awaken the part of him that remembers how to fight the pull.

"If you ever go back to her, you know I'll not be here when you come back, right?" Leah's voice rings in Jacob's head. It's a memory from years ago after Renesmee left claiming not to want Jacob as anything other than a friend or brother. At the time he only laughed at her agreeing to her statement never once believing that the threat would become reality. Jacob's jaw clenches as he's suddenly hit with a bout of nausea and he jumps off of Renesmee, his chest heaving, his brow covered in sweat that isn't from their fucking.

"Jacob?" Renesmee coos confused as she sits up looking at him. Jacob's never been one for over-reacting, not since gaining control of the wolf inside of him, but he finds himself having a panic attack. As he looks at the small woman before him as he suddenly feels the reality of his situation hitting him full force. He's never wanted her or even her mother; the truth is he's always wanted Leah. Leah was everything this half-leech could never be and that was strong, not just physically but also emotionally. Renesmee could never support him in his decisions with the pack because she would always make a stand for the ones he was seeking to destroy. In this moment Jacob reaffirms something that he's always known, Renesmee wasn't his soul mate and that imprinting on her was some strange, fucked up fluke of nature. He had his Alpha Female back at…home? "My Jacob." Renesmee coos again using that sweet voice that, once upon a time, he would've done anything for. Now all it is to him is something that not only sickens but also disgusts and annoys him – same as her leech family.

"I, I shouldn't be here." Jacob says frowning at her and looking down at his naked state. Walking across the room he quickly grabs his clothes and rushes to put them on. He has to get home; Leah has to be there.

"What are you talking about, Jacob?" Renesmee asks sounding highly confused. He only growls at her 'supposed' confusion and bewildered look as he searches around for his car keys. "Jacob, we belong together." Renesmee states angrily as her eyes narrow and a hint of a growl escapes her thin, blood red lips.

"No, we don't. You chose years ago and freed me, giving me the right to choose for myself. I found love and…and I can't believe I've," Jacob can't even finish the sentence afraid that speaking his fears will make them come true. "I'm out of here." Jacob grunts grabbing his car keys and opening the door. The rush of air coming into the small room would, normally, be welcomed; however it carries the scent of her parents. Jacob storms down the hallway ignoring Renesmee's cries for him to come back. Edward only stands aside with an apologetic look upon his face that Jacob doesn't have time to even comment on. As he moves down the stairs, he hears Bella call his name and the only thing that stops him is the saddened memory that once upon a time he loved her and she was his best friend.

"Where are you going, Jacob?" Bella asks and he can hear the hurt, confusion and worry in her voice.

"I'm going back home to my family and loved ones." Jacob states never bothering to turn around and face her. He knows that if he looks at her, he won't be able to resist the urge to tear her limb-from-limb. In the end, this is all of Bella's doings. She always wanted to keep him in her life and after so many years she must've figured the only way to do that was to have him as her son-in-law. Her complete disregard and total lack of respect for his family and the life that he has built with the real love of his life sickens him.

"But…Jake," Bella starts but is cut off.

"Don't you fucking 'but Jake' me." Jacob growls out as his fists clench tightly. "You pulled this shit on purpose. Leah was right about you always fucking with me and for years I defended you." Jacob states as he hears Renesmee and Edward move to stand next to her. "I am saying this one time and one time only. I want you out of here immediately." Jacob snarls viciously turning around to face the small family. He wants them to know that he's not playing Mr. Nice-wolf with them anymore. "If you are not gone when I get back I swear to God I will fucking rip you all apart and piss on your ashes. Beating heart or not." Jacob finishes as he turns and walks out to his car – correction, Leah's car. Jacob feels his heart beating as he climbs into the black Chevrolet Camaro, a gift to Leah for her birthday. He had only driven it because she said something was up with the stick shift and since Bella had called wanting a visit he thought nothing of testing it out then.

Starting up the car he tears away from the Cullen home leaving a crying Renesmee, a surprised Bella and worried Edward Cullen behind. Jacob knows that Edward should consider his family lucky that he hadn't phased the moment he came out of his imprint stupor otherwise Renesmee would be dead or dying. Turning back onto the main road Jacob presses his foot on the pedal desperately needing to get home; back to his family. He could run home in his wolf-form which would be quicker but the fear that he might not have a home when he gets there is something he's not willing to even toy with just yet.

A mile from the Cullen-La Push border he suddenly breaks as a sandy colored wolf stands in the middle of the road blocking his path. An angry snarl erupts from Jacob's throat as he swings the door open and steps out his body trembling. "GET THE FUCK OUT THE WAY, SETH!" Jacob warns stopping a few feet short of his brother-in-law. Jacob is well aware that Seth knows that he went to the Cullens two days ago and is just now returning. He'll deal with Seth's chewing out after Leah chews him out.

Seth stands his ground, his eyes glaring darkly at his Alpha, friend and relative. Hearing several more deep and angry growls, Jacob looks up to see the rest of his pack stepping out the woods, slowly circling him. If Jacob wasn't an Alpha the realization of a pack of angry wolves circling, would frighten him and make him turn tail and run.

"I haven't got time for this shit. MOVE. NOW!" Jacob yells using his Alpha tone, turning and heading back to the car.

Against his will, Seth slowly stalks off the road, only sparing a glance back as he hears Jacob speeds off towards home. Looking at the black wolf before him, his lips curl up revealing huge canines; it's a sinister look and is indecipherable as either a smile or a snarl. Jacob's grip on the steering wheel tightens as he turns down the long driveway leading to his and Leah's house. His heart is pounding deep within his chest, threatening to bust out and show the whole world his pain. Breathing becomes a struggle and his vision blurry as Jacob sees their home before him. Bringing the car to a screeching halt right at the front door Jacob jumps out and bursts through the door.

"LEAH!" Jacob calls out, his voice reaches an unusual crescendo as he's greeted with – silence. Shaking his head and muttering 'no' over and over again as his eyes scan the immediate rooms before him. There's nothing but silence throughout the house, the only sound is Jacob's own heavy breathing.

In the kitchen, she's in the kitchen.

Jacob reasons as he heads towards the back of the house, hoping and praying that Leah is there making sandwiches. "Lee!" Jacob calls as he walks into the quiet kitchen.

No, she – she couldn't be gone.

Looking up at the clock on the microwave, Jacob feels a bit of his hope drop to the floor and sees the time. "HARRY! SARAH! JACK! TAYLOR!" Jacob screams turning around out the kitchen and bolts up the stairs. He had hoped that Leah had gone to go pick up the kids from school, but she should've been back long ago – they should've all been at home. Sarah should've been sitting out on the front porch waiting for her Daddy's return just like she always does. As soon as he hits the top step, he swings the first door open and feels his heart break finding his sons' room empty. Their beds freshly made, no toys lying around on the floor and the lights off.

"OH, God no." Jacob mumbles as he heads to Sarah's room. Here again, nothing. Her bed made perfectly and untouched. "No, please no." Jacob prays as he looks in the bathroom and the tub. This was all just some horrible joke. Reaching the final room down the long hallway, Jacob rests his head against the door that is closed, that leads to his and Leah's room, their room. Jacob chokes back a sob, praying to God that Leah and his kids are all behind this door, laying in bed and that Leah told them to be quiet and hide from their Daddy.

Deep down inside, Jacob already knows what he will be greeted with as his eyes follow the huge hand that grips the doorknob. He wants to just turn away from the whole scene before him that, now, feels like an out-of-body experience and the doorknob turns. Jacob's ear twitch hearing the slight clicks of the doorknob turning and the slow creek of the –

In a last ditch effort to calm down, Jacob shuts his eyes, takes a deep breath in and walks inside. In his mind's eye, he can picture Leah laying in bed, reading a book with their four children all spread out watching a show on either Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network. She'd give him a cold, hard glare fixing him to the spot as he silently looks at her with pleading eyes; begging for her forgiveness, promising to never leave again, showing that he loves her and only her. The 'cubs' would jump out of bed yelling, 'Daddy! Daddy!' excitedly as they'd try, as always, to topple him to the floor. Four pairs of eyes shining brightly up at their father reflecting a bit of both their parents within the depths. He promises to hug each and every one of them and will promise to never leave them – only death will separate him from them now.

Slowly opening his eyes, Jacob finds nothing but a dark, cold and empty bedroom. His last shreds of hope shatter at the realization that despite his common sense and knowledge about Leah, his wife, his love, his Alpha female and best friend; she carried through on her promise. His family was gone. She had taken his family away from him.

Looking around the room, Jacob notices the half-emptied closet, the hastily pulled out drawers and scattered articles on their dresser. Noticing the disarray in his own room forces his mind to recall the same look of a hasty escape in the children's rooms as well. Taking another quick glance around, hoping to find some kind of note or letter, at least telling him where his family is, he happens upon a stuffed animal. Jacob's eyes well up with unshed tears as he slowly drags his feet towards the foot of his bed and picks up the small, red wolf; it's Sarah's, her favorite stuffed animal. Each of the kids had received a small stuffed wolf as a Christmas present from their Grandma Sue but it was the red one that Sarah immediately fell in love with. There weren't too many places that Sarah would go, that 'Wolfie' wouldn't follow. Picking up the stuffed animal, Jacob looks at it longingly as a single tear drops and lands on Wolfie's nose. Hugging the tiny wolf to his chest, Jacob breaks down into tears, crying over everything that he's lost.

They're gone.

Wolfie was loved by all his children and Sarah was known for sharing him with her brothers whenever one of them was upset or sad. She'd kindly hand him over, smiling sweetly, watching as Wolfie was held on tightly and she'd give them a hug to help calm them. Jacob wishes his 'Little Princess', his 'Sweetness' was here to comfort him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Collapsing on the bed, he cries harder because he is unsure of whether Wolfie was left behind by his Sweetness as a comfort or reminder of them or if Leah left the wolf behind as a harsh, bitter and angry reminder that she didn't need him anymore. A part of him wants to be angry at the Leah, if the latter thought is true, but he can't find it in his heart to be angry with her; not after the hurt and pain he's certain his absence has caused her.

And so Jacob Black lies in his bed, alone, crying out for everything that he's lost and may never get back again.

Jacob's not sure how long he's been in bed, doing nothing but crying and sleeping. His sleep has been restless, full of dreams that have been both a blessing and a curse. He's dreamed of waking up to find Leah laying in bed beside him. Her beautiful face smiling down at him, her scent fresh and intoxicating as she suddenly laughs; possibly at the surprised look on his face. After calming down from her laughter, she'll smile at him, in that coy manner meaning that she wants him, all of him. As he moves quickly to answer her call, he watches in confusion as her once soft features harden and is replaced with a deep scowl. Leah's eyes darkening and narrowing as her attention shifts elsewhere and as he turns his head to see what it is, he regrets it. Renesmee is standing in his bedroom wearing an old tee of his, as if mocking Leah, her arms crossed and demanding the 'other' woman to leave. Despite the threats, curses and violence exerted on Renesmee it's not enough to keep Leah with him; in the end, she always leaves.

In his other dreams, he comes home from work to find Sarah sitting on the front porch either hugging Wolfie or playing with her dolls waiting for Daddy's return. The moment Jacob is out the car, she gets up running and laughing towards her Daddy and jumps into his arms showering him with hugs and kisses. In another, he's working in the garage as Harry hangs on the edge of the car, watching his Daddy work. His small, chubby hands pointing at something, reaching for a tool or tugging on Daddy's shirt asking to be picked up so he can see. Neither Jacob nor Harry will admit it put the pick-up is really just an excuse for a quick hug; that Jacob gladly gives without a word and Harry accepts without protest. The twins, looking just like their father from their hair, smiles and laugh, are always paired up together, just like in the waking world. The twins are so much alike that the only way to tell them apart is by their eyes; Jack having his mother's warm, hazel colored eyes and Taylor with his father's. In those dreams, Jacob is always trying to find time to take a nap, he's more exhausted than ever before, and just as he lays down, there is a loud yell. With a heavy sigh, he gets up to go investigate and walks outside to see the twins wrestling; sometimes in human form and, most times, as wolves. Looking up to see Daddy they quickly exchange glances before barreling towards Jacob and tackling him to the ground. Jacob always has time to rough house around with the twins, no matter how tired or exhausted he is.

Those are just some of his dreams but his favorite is without a doubt, the last memory he has of his whole family. Days before the Cullens came back and after the cubs 5th birthday, it was the cubs' first time running patrol. They had all been wolves since the age of 2, the truly terrible twos, while throwing a tantrum; they all phased one after the other. But they had finally gotten control over their phasing and with all of the extra energy needed to run it off and both parents agreed patrolling was the answer. It was a really big night and all of the kids were excited to run patrol with their parents. The twins, as always, were play fighting as Harry and Sarah looked on allowing short yelps of encouragement. Jacob sits back on his haunches, watching proudly as Jack, the baby, gets the upper hand and pins Taylor to the ground.

'I win! I win!' Jack cheers as he bounces happily up and down on his oversized paws, tongue lulling out and tail wagging madly. Jacob shakes his head at Jack's antics; especially since his tail doesn't just wag back and forth but does some weird circular motion, like a propeller.

'So! I'll get you next time.' Taylor huffs getting up and a glint of mischief appears in his eyes as he suddenly pounces upon his brother.

'That's cheating.' Jack cries as Sarah giggles and runs up to aid her brother. Harry, despite his attempts to be serious, gives into the shared excitement and desire to play from his siblings and joins in wrestling, nipping, yelping and pawing with them.

Jacob's chest puffs out in pride watching a flurry of paws, teeth and furs, ranging from red (Sarah), dark grey (Harry) and gray-brown mix (the twins). Hearing the screen door behind him creak, Jacob turns his head a little to see Leah waddle out wearing a robe. Without a word, she drops the robe and phases. He fights back a chuckle as the back porch creaks under her weight and she jumps the four steps to the ground.

'No fat chick jokes.' Leah warns as she waddles over to Jacob.

'You're not fat. You're pregnant – again.' Jacob comments back, leaning forward to lick Leah's face. The two had stopped phasing so often some years back and it was nice to see his wife like this.

'Hairy?' Jacob chooses to ignore Leah as he carefully licks the fur over her belly. There are two more cubs on the way. Letting out a content groan, Leah turns and brushes up against Jacob roughly and as her warmth lingers a bit longer than usual, he has to step back to keep his thoughts pure.

'You dirty old man.' Quil teases as the cubs stop their play fighting and look up to see a chocolate brown wolf step into their backyard.

'Regardless of how old I may look, Jacob teases smugly. 'At least I'll never be older than my,'

'Let's not go there, please.' Quil huffs with a roll of his eyes.

'Uncle Quil!' The cubs all scream and tear off towards the wolf, easily knocking him over and swarming him with bites and wolf kisses.

'Well he's not the only one come to see y'all run your first patrol.' Embry chimes in stepping out, his presence saving Quil's ears, paws and tail from more bites and tugs. Jacob watches as the rest of the pack appear one-by-one and are all greeted with the same excitement and energy as the first. He watches each of the older wolf's interaction with his cubs to make sure that things don't get out of hand; after all it's been years for some of them since they last phased.

'Alright, alright.' Leah barks out getting up with a deep groan and nudging Taylor roughly with her muzzle. 'Calm down.' As Alpha Female she explains to the cubs about their circuits and why so many of their uncles have decided to tag along. It's their first bit of training to welcome them into the pack life. Even Sam speaks up much to Leah's annoyance but lets the former alpha have his say.

The cubs had learned about their borders, different scents and, most importantly of all, who was in charge. It was a great night and even though everyone was disappointed that Leah turned in early, they all had a great time. Jacob couldn't imagine almost missing out on all of this; his family, friends and home. His spirit was swelling with pride and love for everyone around him.

This final dream is the one that always has Jacob waking up with tears in his eyes. That warm feeling of happiness, love and pride from that day, gone now. All that Jacob has left beside his dreams and memories are a few items of each of his family members with their scent on it.

Jacob sighs heavily hugging his precious items close to his chest. He is grateful that Leah didn't change the sheets before she left; their combined scent still lingering in the sheets that he's wrapped himself up in. Jacob is certain that he's probably hugged the stuffing out of poor Wolfie that still has Sarah's scent. Harry's pillow has given him added comfort of not being alone. Jack's security blanket and Taylor's favorite shirt; the shirt just being an old, old shirt of Jacob's that for some reason at the age of 3 Taylor became attached to. These were all that he had left of his once happy life and knows that if he died at this very moment, they'd need the Jaws of Life to pry his family's belongings from his grasp.

The fear of losing their scent, sits at the back of Jacob's mind but he ignores it – for now. The only scent he was concerned with losing was her filthy, disgusting scent. After collapsing on the bed, hugging Wolfie to his chest, Jacob took a deep breath and caught Sarah's scent on the small stuffed animal but then there was a hint of a sickly, sweet scent of death.

Jumping up from his bed, Jacob ran into the bathroom and turning on the shower he began stripping his clothes, wanting desperately to rid himself of the Cullens' scent. He scrubbed his skin so hard, trying to wash away the invisible fingerprints that Renesmee left over his body. He continued scrubbing to the point that his skin was bleeding from unnoticed cuts; it wasn't enough to clean the 'dirt' off of him. It seemed as if his body was purging itself, as after the shower, came the vomiting and then more crying.

Anger had overtaken him at one point; all he wanted to do was head back to the Cullens and kill them all. There was a desire to unleash his pain, frustration, anguish and despair upon the ones who were always at the root of the La Push pack's problems. He'd gladly start with Edward, ripping that pretty, bed-ridden-head of his that Bella loved so much. Ripping him to tiny shreds all the while making Edward listens to his thoughts of pain and hatred; letting him know that his precious 'Spider Monkey' and 'Nessie' would be next. Then he'd attack Renesmee, breaking every bone in her body as pay back for the injury he suffered while trying to protect her selfish bitch of a mother. He'd smash that oddly beautiful face in leaving it in such a gruesome state that Tarantino and Rob Zombie would feel sick in the end. He'd rip her to shreds and would crush her heart under his massive paw.

Bella, Bells, would be last. After forcing her to watch her family be slaughtered before her very eyes, he'd keep her locked away until her thirst became unbearable and she'd have no other choice but to drink her own daughter's blood. For the longest, she's believed that she wasn't a monster because human blood hadn't touched her ghastly red lips, well she'd realize that was what she was. He'd make her beg for her own death and he'd give it to her, but only after she admitted all the times she fucked up, all the lives she ruined because of her own stupidity and selfish reasons and that she didn't even deserve to live for as long as he allowed. But then…his mind would wander out of that deepest and darkest part of his mind back to Leah and the kids. Killing the Cullens wouldn't undo everything that he did. It wouldn't be enough to erase away the memory of his infidelity and weakness. And instead, he'd lie back down in bed, hugging his treasures to his chest and cry begging Leah to come back home and hold him, to let him hear her voice even if it was anger. Something was better than nothing!

A/N: So this is a story that I've been sitting on for quite a while now. Right now this story is looking to be a three-part story and I've already got the 2nd half done and just need to work on the final resolution. But…this story was inspired by another story that I read and I really wish I could remember whose it was – but the 'Cloak of Ignorance' has fallen upon and I can't remember for the life of me. But the next chapter for Wake-up Call is looking kind of good although I will admit that cucumber07 doesn't approve. LMAO.

But just to fill you guys in on what's been the hold-up; well things are still an emotional and confusing mess in that we still have NO idea what is going on with the funeral arrangements and at this point we're just going to drop the whole matter and let my cousin do what she thinks is best. I've got another outlandish and completely ridiculous project that is requiring me to actually sit up and cycle through an entire month's worth of work…on the light side it's only a small portion and I'm already about 2-weeks into the project and have already hit over 800+ contacts which is pretty good but then I've got other responsibilities to deal with along with some serious server issues. I swear if Outlook goes down one more time and there is a LINE of people to tell me the same shit over and over again I'm walking out the door with my laptop and will go home and work from there.

Uh…finally finished the first season of True Blood…and seriously? Renee? It was Renee? T-T He was just too cute to be that crazy. But now I'll be catching up on Season 2 through HBO On Demand. But…uh, oh! I've finally got all of my Twilight Convention pics on Facebook and will get them in Photobucket so that everyone else can see. I completely understand not wanting to just 'friend' anyone. ^-^ So no offense taken. But you all know what to do: you read, review and tell me what you really think. Like I said the ending hasn't been finished yet but what do you

think the ending should be? ^-^ Yea, so don't be afraid to give me some ideas and suggestions. And as always I apologize for any grammatical errors – I tried to proof this story but I'm so tired right now.