Rating for language.

I don't own crap. JKR owns Harry. Damon and Jamie et al own Gorillaz. And anything else you recognize is owned by somebody other than me. Except for the beer...cuz you really can't OWN beer, you can only rent it.

Special thanks to my beta, Leelee, mostly for telling me it's all worth reading. Love you baby!

If you missed it, check out the Gorillaz concert on the Letterman stage. Great show – best live version of Feel Good Inc I've seen :)

Summary: In a post-DH world, a lonely Harry Potter makes some new friends (and finds some old ones) in the most unlikely places.

Harry landed with an 'oof' on top of a horrible velour couch. He looked around to see probably the most horrible place he's ever been in. Gold shag carpets, mirrored walls, disco balls hanging from the ceiling, smoking jackets in display cases, and what looks like a gold-plated grand piano. Think 1970's pimp décor turned up to 11. And as he finished his sweep of the room, he noticed Padfoot sitting on his hunches with an amused look on his face watching Noodle jumping on what looks like a giant beanbag chair and yelling...something. (He doesn't speak Japanese, after all.)

As Harry got closer, he asked "Noodle, what the hell are you doing?" He was surprised to see the 'beanbag chair' turn around to look at him. And growl. What he had taken for a stuffed chair was actually the biggest human he had ever seen (and thinking about Hagrid, that's saying something). Seven feet tall, probably six feet wide, wearing a Yankees cap, a Knicks jersey and a fur-lined leather jacket. Harry pulled his wand just in time to see Noodle jump in front of him and start screaming incomprehensibly, grabbing his wand out of his hand and tossing it to the side (almost hitting Padfoot in the process).

"Sebastian, stop stop stop! This is my friend Russel!" Noodle finally screamed at him. Harry took a step back and relaxed a bit. 'Ok, if this is a friend of hers, then we should be cool. But how the hell does she know people EVERYWHERE? Does she have the same love/hate relationship with fate I have?' he thought to himself before saying "Hi, I'm Sebastian. Good to meet you. Um, not to be rude or anything, but where the hell are we?"

Russel Hobbs was not a person that was taken aback easily. As a matter of fact, he didn't even flinch when his entire crew, including his best friend, Del, was gunned down in a drive-by shooting by a car driven by Death himself. Or when Del's spirit took up residence in his body. Or when the Grim Reaper came to perform an exorcism on him to remove all the wayward spirits he had collected. But seeing a person that he personally cast into a portal to Hell 3 months ago come up and want to be friends...'Well, Muds did say I was off confronting my demons, after all' he thought to himself. "Hi Sebastian. Good to meet you. Thanks for helping get our Noodle out of there. Oh, and before I forget, sorry about the whole 'tossing you into a portal to hell' thing. Was nothing personal, just trying to save my girl Noods. Good job with that, by the way." He said all without taking a breath.

Harry shook his head trying to understand what the walking mountain of a man had just said. "Wait, so you were the one that threw me into that portal? Why the fuck would you do that?"

Russel laughed, a sound not unlike a truck transmission grinding. "Like I said, sorry about that. Muds said the only way to get her out was to send somebody else in her place. I shoulda known better then to believe anything he said, I know he's just trying to keep his own ass from getting sent there, but I was so desperate when Noodle got taken that I was a little irrational."

Harry thought about that for a minute, then chuckled to himself. "I guess I would have done the same thing. I've been known to, shall we say, throw caution to the wind in the defense of my friends and family, so let's just not mention that again. We got out OK anyway. So, as I was saying, where and when are we?"

Russel looked at Noodle rather sheepishly before answering. "Well after sending you through the portal, and after all the crap I've gone through with Del and all..."

"We saw Del while we were down there, by the way" Noodle interjected. "He told us to let you know that he's doing well. He was working on some rhymes, said he had a way to get them to you."

"You did? Great! Anyway. After all that I kinda went nuts for a little bit. Came back to New York, where I ran into Ike Turner. I had crashed at his place right after our first album, when I had my little episode with the Reaper, and he had always been cool with me. As a matter of fact that's why he did 'Every Planet We Reach Is Dead' with us (regardless of what Muds thinks, Ike always called him a nob). So we end up on a private jet to San Diego, and the next thing I know we're here, jamming in his basement. Well we started playing 'Cold Day in Hell' and I just couldn't take it anymore. I apparently yelled something about some immortal being taking away everyone close to me, and Ike split. He came back an hour later with his lawyer, and for whatever reason he signed the deed to this place over to me. He told me to 'stay here as long as it takes to straighten your shit out crazy-ass drum boy'. That's just the way Ike was, too. Great friggin guy. Anyway, a couple of weeks later, his lawyer shows back up. I figure it was to get back the deed to the house, but come to find out that Ike OD'd, and for who knows why (probably to piss off his 5 ex-wives) he left me this place. Of course, he's still here, don't be surprised if you hear piano playing from time to time. And by the way, he's always up for a jam now, so if you're ever in the studio, make sure you offer. It's worth it. So anyway, does that clarify anything?"

Harry tried to process this. "Clear as mud, chap. But regardless, we're better off than we were earlier. Now where did my wand end up?"

A familiar voice said "Oh, I caught it. Thanks for that."

Harry, without even looking, replied "Sure Siri, anything you...SIRIUS?"