THE BUY MORE CHRONICLES: EPISODE I

Morgan Grimes was walking the surface of an alien world. He had to be, there was no other explanation. The glitz, the glamour, the polished shine were all here where they had no right to be. Something had to be done, and Morgan Guillermo Grimes was obviously the last hope for the defense of, if not the human race, then at the very least the Burbank Buy More.

"Uh, excuse me. General? Diane? May I call you Diane?" he said as he approached the very 'General' Manager of the Buy More. A quick glare told him to stay away from her first name. "Sorry. General, I have been noticing a few things about your management of the store, and I have to say I am concerned for the security of the place. I think you could have done a bit of a better job with setting things up."

Brigadier General Diane Beckman looked Morgan straight in the eye with a contemptuous gaze. In a world surrounded by people far taller than him, it was amazing how the equally-short General could still intimidate him so easily. "Grimes, I don't have time for this. I let you stay here with some measure of trust, and you should be grateful that you haven't been shipped off to a witness protection facility."

Morgan's mouth hung open for a second, unsure what to make of that knowledge. He then promptly closed it, not letting himself be distracted from the business at hand. "Be that as it may, General, I implore you to look around at this environment you have created. Tell me what you see?"

Beckman sighed, clearly disappointed at Morgan's refusal to be subverted. "I see a smoothly-running store full of satisfied customers. Is there something wrong with that picture, Grimes?" she asked contemptuously.

"There are a number of things wrong with this picture, General, and you only scratched the surface. The previous regime here at the Buy More may have been flawed, true, but even so, absolutely no retail store anywhere in this country is as perfect as this! Let me show you what I mean.

"Here, we have the Nerd Herd desk. Do you see how long that line is?"

"And it is moving along smoothly and quickly. Get to the point, Grimes."

"All right, I shall. The point is that the people in that line are young. High school age, college age, mostly, and the line is moving so quickly because their technical problems are so minor that they are just an excuse to come in here. Look around at your staff, General. Do you see a disproportionate inequality of freakishly beautiful people to freakishly average or simply un-beautiful people?"

"Grimes, a CIA or NSA agent has to be able to subvert enemies in the field. An attractive face and physique are often crucial to success."

"Ah, yes. I think I see the problem. That may be all well and good for Uncle Sam, but here at the Buy More, it's just unnatural. Nature itself is being subverted by your Secret Cabal of Beauty. People aren't coming to the Buy More to shop, anymore. They are coming to pick up the man or woman of their dreams. And then they stick around the store longer, just looking for an excuse to stay around. They look at products and displays they might otherwise ignore, just if it means they can stay here a little longer.

"Do you see where that man over there currently has his attention? It's on a display of HP laptops, I know. But hidden within that display are things that would be dangerous if the public were to accidentally stumble onto. And with the handsome employees, the spick and shine of the windows and the floors…" Morgan sighed for effect. "This doesn't feel like the Buy More, General. It feels like a big secret just waiting to be exposed. Which, I might point out, it pretty much is."

Beckman was stunned into silence, though her eyes were not wide with shock, but narrowed in thought. I must have scored a point or two, thought Morgan. Grimes: 1. Beckman: 0, thank you very much.

"As much as it pains me to say this, Grimes, you have a point. And it pains me even further to say this, but I'm giving you your first solo mission."

"Thank you, General. I'm glad you see my… Sorry, beg your pardon?"

"Your mission, Grimes, is to implement new protocols to ensure the successful cover of our operations here. Appropriate whatever personnel or resources you need, and report back to me as soon as possible. Is that clear?"

"Uh, yeah. Perfectly clear, General, ma'am. I'll get right on that." Morgan straightened his shirt. This called for a trip to the Subway.

After scouring the Red Line for what felt like hours, Morgan finally found what he had been looking for. Rather, he heard what he was listening for.

"On the day I was born, the nurses all gathered 'round.

And they gazed in wide wonder, at the joy they had found."

There they stood. One with an electronic keyboard in hand, the other holding a microphone, an open case at their feet, filled with a few nickels and pennies. There might have even been a dime or two.

"The head nurse spoke up, and she said 'Leave this one alone.'"

Morgan took a careful few steps forward –

"She could tell right away…"

– towards the collective entity known only as Jeffster.

"…that I was bad to the bone!"

So with a heavy heart, Morgan cleared his throat. "Hey, guys! How's it been?"

"Bad to the bone!"

"Uh, Lester? Jeff?"

"Bad to the bone!"

"Mind if I just get a quick word with you for a moment?"

"B-B-B-B-Bad to the bone!"

"Okay, I think you've had enough for today," Morgan said as he snatched the mic away from Lester.

Jeff stopped playing his keyboard and looked up at Lester, as if for guidance. "What do we do now? Do we run for it?"

"No, Jeffrey! I am tired of running! We stick to the plan! We just keep singing, and they'll ignore us, go away, and hopefully leave us their spare change!" Lester shouted frantically.

"Whoa, whoa! Guys, what are you running from?" Morgan asked, suddenly worried that the two of them might be caught up in something bigger.

"The cops, man!" said Jeff crazily. "They've just been looking for an excuse to come batting down our doors. And we finally gave it to them."

"I thought we agreed, Jefferson, that the Buy More spontaneously combusting was somehow not our fault!"

Morgan breathed a sigh of relief. "You're right, Lester. There's…"

"NOT! OUR! FAULT!" Lester cried hysterically, his bedraggled hair flopping about as he drew the stares of nervous-looking train-goers.

"Yes, Lester! Yes, Jeff! We know. You didn't blow up the Buy More! Nobody's been after you for… Have you guys really been running like this for eight months?"

"Nah, man. We crash at Lester's mom's place every other…"

"Yes, Morgan! We have been on the run for I don't remember how long! Hounded by the insidious agents of the Man, determined to take us down!"

"I don't want to take you down, guys. I want to take you home," said Morgan.

Lester gazed uncertainly at Morgan. "We're listening. But at the first sign of trickery, Grimes…"

"Look. The Buy More wants you back. Needs you back. We're open again, good to go, and we're just looking to flesh out the staff a bit."

"You mean…?" said Jeff.

"Yes, Jeff. Yes, Lester. You can go home again," said Morgan. "And as a sign of our gratitude for your accepting your old jobs back and keep in mind this is if you accept," Morgan said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out, "a twenty dollar gift card, good at any Subway restaurant."

"Twenty dollars of Subway?" said Jeff with disbelief. "That's like ten five dollar foot-longs!"

"Stop doing math, Jeffrey," said Lester, though his eyes were on the gift card. "Only twenty dollars?"

Morgan smiled and nodded, as if he knew this was coming. He slid his fingers to reveal that he held not one, but two cards in his hand. "Twenty dollars each."

Lester and Jeff looked at each other, communicating in some silent, telepathic language known only to them. "All right, done!"

"Excellent, guys! Thank you! Just show up within the next couple of days and talk to the Manager. And please don't make her mad, because she's not nearly as understanding as Harry Tang ever was."

Within a week, things were back to normal. The Nerd Herd was frazzled and gritty, the floors were in need of mopping, and the green shirts were slacking. But there were some new faces that Morgan didn't recognize at first. From the unholy handsomeness of these newcomers, they had to be spies.

"Well, Grimes, it seems you were right," said Beckman. "Civilian scrutiny of the Buy More is now minimal, as it should be. And your mission will be an ongoing one."

"Thank you, General. And, what mission is that, exactly?"

"The smooth running of this front for our covert operations here in Burbank," she as she handed something to Morgan.

Picking it up, Morgan was shocked to see a name tag that said 'Morgan Grimes – General Manager.'

"Congratulations, Mr. Grimes. Don't make me regret this," Beckman said dangerously before walking away.

Morgan took a moment to compose himself. "Wow! I have a job that has 'General' in its name! Score!" Morgan affixed the name tag to his green shirt, which he would be replacing as soon as he got home. He turned around.

"Oh my God! Don't do that!" he said to the strikingly beautiful brunette in a Nerd Herd outfit who had suddenly appeared in front of him. "Seriously, you have give me a bit of room to notice you before you…"

"Mr. Grimes? The new manager?"

"Uh, yes. That's me. And, you are?"

"I'll be acting as the main liaison between the civilian and covert operations at this facility. I'm going to be the one making sure that things go smoothly so that nothing and no one finds itself out of place."

"That's, uh, good to know," said Morgan as he extended his hand. "And please, call me Morgan."

The woman took his hand in an unbelievably firm grip. "You can call me Greta, Mr. Grimes," she said without a hint of emotion other than a bit of possible disdain.

Sarah was finishing packing her gear down in Castle, preparing to depart to stake out the Weaver residence when Casey appeared in the door. "We have a problem, Walker."

"What is it, Casey?" asked Sarah. "Is Chuck in danger?"

"Could be," said Casey, which made Sarah nervous. He wasn't making a wisecrack remark about her attachment to Chuck, which was troubling enough. "I saw something on the security cameras at the Buy More. Specifically, one of our agents who's supposed to make the covert and civilian operations play nice together," he said as he pulled up footage of the store.

"There," he said, freezing an image at the Nerd Herd desk. "You see her, Walker?"

"Yeah, I see her," said Sarah. The woman with the name tag, 'Greta,' was virtually identical to the girl who had kidnapped Chuck along with Sarah Connor, who had taken several bullets and not even flinched. Even with a bulletproof vest, anyone would flinch. And now, she had somehow infiltrated the CIA and the NSA. "We have a problem."

The song is 'Bad to the Bone' by George Thorogood & the Destroyers.

I do not own Chuck or Terminator or the characters from either franchise.

Many Thanks to KaelynnD for beta-reading this chapter!

Reviews, comments, criticisms, suggestions, etc. are always welcome.

Enjoy!