CHAPTER ONE

airplanes in the night sky

can we pretend like airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now.

airplanes by paramore

"Kenny, you're crazy," Kyle rolled his emerald jade evergreen eyes as Kenny waved five airline tickets in his Jewish face. Kenny could suddenly afford a ton of stuff so he bought five tickets even though he didn't ask any of his friends about it because it was a surprise.

"No, I'm not. This is the best idea I've ever had. Think about it, this will be such a blast," Kenny talked back with his angelic voice, his blonde hair blowing in the wind.

"An airplane? To California? How will our parents let us get away with that?" Kyle scolded, in a feminine voice because when he hit puberty he became significantly effeminate.

"We won't tell them. Simple as that," Kenny laughed. They were sixteen, so they were doing all of these independent things because they're total rebels.

"But I can't do that! I can't lie like that," Kyle admitted, because he was Jewish so he was going to Jew everybody out.

"Just don't speak to them. The flight is a red-eye this Friday night, so you just need to sneak out that night without a word. Don't you know any of this stuff?" Kenny laughed again.

"Okay, okay, fine," Kyle sighed, slumping over. His hair was really gorgeous and large ginger curls hugged his face and framed it beautifully.

"Hell yeah!" Kenny cheered and handed Kyle a ticket. "Don't lose this. If you lose it you can't go on the airplane."

"Okay, I won't lose it," Kyle replied, but he was of course lying because he was Jewish and would lose everything because he was a Jew. He smiled and his jade emerald evergreen eyes smiled too.

"You'd better not. If you lose it you can't fly on the airplane," Kenny scolded, and his eyes were blue like cyanide and happiness.

"Okay, I won't lose it," Kyle lied again.

"Okay. Well, let's go ask Stan and Cartman, then," Kenny announced, and Kyle grabbed his arm dramatically.

"If Cartman goes, I'm not going to go," he frowned, crossing his arms. He and Cartman were total enemies and Cartman ruined everything for him but they were secretly gay for each other.

"What? Oh. Okay then, who else are we going to ask?" Kenny sighed, putting a hand to his chin in deep thought.

"Craig and Tweek?" Kyle suggested, because Craig and Tweek and them had recently been really tight so they always asked them to come along when they went on flights to California.

"Okay, I'll ask them. They'll be super stoked," Kenny agreed, giving Kyle a thumbs-up that was especially sexy and emphasized his agreement with Kyle. Kyle smiled Jewishly and they proceeded to find Craig, Tweek and Stan to ask them if they wanted to fly on Friday night to spend three weeks in California because skipping school no longer mattered. Kenny did it all the time because he's rebellious and poor.

Kenny and Kyle were on the way to Stan's house when they conveniently passed a Starbucks that were everywhere and they saw Stan ordering coffee through the window. Kyle pointed to the Starbucks and poked Kenny.

"There's Stan," Kyle swooned effeminately and paused for some reason so the dialogue could end with a period. "Ordering coffee."

"Oh, there he is," Kenny smiled and clicked his tongue because not only was he a sucker for Kyle's gorgeous looks, but he was also in love with Stan because he looked like an emo kid did but he wasn't an emo kid.

They went inside the Starbucks and saw Stan talking to the cashier at Starbucks and ordering coffee. Stan got coffee because he liked coffee. Kyle didn't even try to get his attention because he has some sort of mental connection with Stan so he turned his head to Kyle and stopped midsentence. Stan's raven black hair slid over his eye and he did a hair-flip to flip his hair black like a raven away from his eye. His hair is black, like a raven.

"Kyle," he greeted in a husky but emo-kid-like voice. Stan smiled and so did his eyes that were the same blue that his tight skinny jeans were. Kyle smiled.

"Stan," Kyle greeted in a feminine and Jewish-like voice. He smiled and so did his eyes that were jade emerald evergreen like emeralds and pine trees in a blender. Stan smiled.

"Stan," Kenny greeted in a sexy but poor-like voice. He smiled and so did his eyes that were blue like cyanide and the drugs that he's addicted to but don't affect him at all. Stan smiled.

"Kenny," Stan greeted in a husky but emo-kid-like voice. Stan smiled and so did his eyes that were the same blue that his tight skinny jeans were. Everybody smiled.

"I didn't think you'd be here," Kyle said, standing next to Stan and cutting everyone in line because his super best friend was ordering coffee so he had a privilege to cut everybody in line. Stan handed money to the cashier.

"Yes, I am here," Stan responded, taking the change and receipt from the cashier and walking out of the line. Kyle followed behind his super best friend. Kenny wasn't mentioned in this portion because it was a special Style moment when they were standing in line right there.

Stan sat down at a table and Kyle sat down at the table and Kenny sat down at the table. Kenny pulled out the airplane tickets from his pocket and slammed them down on the table.

"We're going to California," Kenny announced, fist-pumping like the player that he was. Stan gasped but he was happy about it to so he smiled. Stan was the type of person that liked surprises because he was unique.

"Sweet! I'm in complete agreement! When is it and how long?" Stan asked, totally fine with leaving because he was sixteen so he wanted to get the fuck away from the mountain town that they lived in because they didn't really like it so they went to exciting places such as California.

"We are leaving Friday night and we are going to be there for three weeks!" Kenny announced again and smiled with excitement because he was excited. Kyle wasn't excited at first but now he was because Stan was excited. Everybody was excited for this.

"Okay, that's cool! What time are we sneaking out of bed?" Stan asked, because he already was aware of the plan because they did things like this all the time so he was experienced and aware. This makes him romantically interesting.

"At 11:30PM! Then we can take my orange Lamborghini to the airport. You guys should all go to 7-11 so I can pick you up there and you can bring snacks for the road," Kenny organized. Kenny already had his driver's license because he was sixteen and for his sixteenth birthday Kenny got an orange Lamborghini that he droved everywhere and played 3oh!3 and Cobra Starship with the windows down because those bands described his views on life. This makes him romantically interesting.

"Okay, that sounds awesome! I'm so excited. Aren't you excited?" Stan cheered, looking at Kyle. Kyle stared deep into Stan's skinny jean blue colored eyes and nodded.

"I'm so excited," Kyle admitted and did a quaint Jewish dance.

"I'm so excited," Kenny also admitted and handed a ticket to Stan. "Don't lose this. If you lose this you can't go on the plane."

"Okay, I won't lose it," Stan said truthfully because Stan is honest and responsible and a perfect romantic partner for everybody. He wasn't going to lose his ticket.

"Okay, cool," Kenny concluded because he believed Stan, because everybody believed Stan. Kenny loved Stan and Kyle but they already knew that because Kenny was gay for everyone but he also liked vagina. Kyle also had a really, really amazing ass that turned everyone around him into a fag.

"Mocha frappechino, for Stan," the Starbucks person behind the desk announced and Stan arose from his chair like a God and grabbed his coffee. His raven black hair slid into his eye again so he did a hair-flip so that it wouldn't be in his eye anymore. He sat back down and sipped his coffee. His hair was also black, like a raven. When Stan was Goth, his Goth friends referred to him as Raven.

Kenny really wanted a coffee too but he shrugged and then looked at Kyle and Stan. "Okay, let's go find Craig and Tweek."

"Okay, let's go," Stan agreed, and they all stood up from their table but didn't push their chairs in because they were rebellious. They exited the doors of Starbucks and the three of them walked outside and went to Craig's house, because it was a small town and they can walk to everyone's house.

They approached the door to Craig's house and they saw a sign taped to his front door. It read "OUT TO LUNCH" but they shrugged and opened the door anyway because they were sixteen, so fuck the rules. The door creaked open because locks don't ever exist and it opened into a room. The room was the living room to Craig's house and Craig and Tweek were on the couch watching "Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami" with their arms around each other. Craig noticed the three of them enter the room and he flipped them off.

"What the fuck," he declared and continued to flip them off. "Did you fucking read the fucking sign?"

Kenny didn't answer because he was rebellious, and he pulled out the two remaining tickets. Craig still flipped him off but he was actually happy. Tweek spazzed around and screamed, but he always did that. "We're going to California."

"Fuck," Craig replied. "When the fuck is it?"

"On Friday night. We're going to sneak out at 11:30PM and meet at the 7-11 that everyone knows the location of and then I'll pick you up in my tight ride," Kenny declared. Craig flipped him off.

"Fuck, okay," Craig sighed. Kenny handed the tickets to him and Tweek and Craig had to take it from Tweek so that he wouldn't rip it up because he's insane. Craig was angry and swore and flipped everyone off but he was secretly smiling inside. He was happy about this but no one knew.

"Okay," Kenny smiled. "We'll see you then. 11:30."

Stan and Kyle were also standing in Craig's house but they didn't talk. Kenny turned around and when they all left Craig still flipped them off, but then he stopped and sunk back into the couch. They were watching television.

Time suddenly sped up and it was already Friday night at 11:20PM. Kyle had packed a suitcase and he made sure not to lose his ticket because he knew he was going to lose it but he actually didn't in the end. He was too hard on himself a lot but so was everybody else so it works out. Kyle opened the window of his bedroom and he hurled the suitcase out of it and it landed on the grass in perfect condition. Then Kyle leaped out of the two-story window without any concern and he landed on his feet like a cat. The window was closed already so no one could suspect that Kyle had left the house. He was a sneaky Jewish boy.

Kyle grabbed the handle of his rolling suitcase and started to run to 7-11. Even though it was several blocks away, Kyle could make this distance in less than ten minutes. He was experienced with travel and locomotions, so he had a good sense of timing and directions.

He continued to run and run down the sidewalks and he ran through the roads too because no one hardly drove down them at 11PM in the night. He didn't lose his ticket yet because he was still holding it in his hand that was covered by a green mitten. The green mittens matched the collar of his jacket and also matched his green hat with the flaps. He liked to be coordinated and was also very neat, this pattern continued when he hit puberty.

Kyle finally saw the 7-11 sign illuminated in the distance and sped up his pace. He jaywalked and then ran through the parking lot, entering the sliding doors. He looked at the friendly cashier man and was going to ask him the time but was kind of scared because usually he ends up getting raped in the ass by strangers when he's alone. It had happened in this 7-11 before. But he was still slightly brave despite his feminine qualities, so he politely asked the man the time.

"What time is it?" he asked and stood in the doorway of 7-11. The sliding doors didn't close on him because he was standing in the way.

"It's 11:21PM," the man said and smiled a friendly smile, but Kyle could feel him undressing him with his eyes. He still stood awkwardly in the doorway with his suitcase of all of his personal belongings even though he was nervous about the suspicious figure behind the counter. The ticket was still in his hand. He didn't lose it.

Nine minutes already passed, so Stan and Craig and Tweek showed up in their cars. Kyle was going to get a car really soon but he didn't have one yet. He was jealous of his friends with cars. All of his friends had cars. Stan, Craig and Tweek all exited their cars with sunglasses even though it was dark and then they took them off. Craig also had black hair but it wasn't raven black like Stan's was black like a raven. Craig's was just black. Tweek's hair was messy and blonde because he was insane and on drugs so he wasn't concerned about personal appearance.

"Kyle," Stan greeted in a husky but emo-kid-like voice. He smiled and so did his eyes that were the same blue that his tight skinny jeans were. Kyle smiled.

"Stan," Kyle greeted in a feminine and Jewish-like voice. He smiled and so did his eyes that were jade emerald evergreen like emeralds and pine trees in a blender. Stan smiled.

Their moment ended and Craig and Tweek and Stan met Kyle in the doorway. The man behind the counter no longer looked like a possible rapist because Kyle and his infectious ass were no longer alone in the room with him. Kyle was happy with Stan because they were super best friends and Craig and Tweek made him happy too. Craig flipped him off but Kyle smiled.

Then they heard bass and synthesizers and the voice of the guy in 3oh!3 really loud from a mile away but they could hear it it was so loud. The floor was shaking and then Kenny's orange Lamborghini sped like the fucking speed of light and shook the ground like a giant earthquake. Glass everywhere shattered. He pulled into the parking lot and then they recognized the song as "Touchin' on My" by 3oh!3 which was one of Kenny's favorite songs because 3oh!3 and Cobra Starship describes himself.

The floor was shaking with Kenny's music and there wasn't glass in the windows of 7-11 but they all were okay and walked outside. Kenny's Lamborghini was orange and it was so sexy that it made Kyle hard. The music shook the floor and the door to his Lamborghini slid up, and the trunk popped open. Kyle and Craig and Tweek and Stan put their luggage in the trunk and then they closed the trunk and then they got inside. The inside of the car was black leather and really low to the ground and it was lit with lights that circulated the entire spectrum of colors. It was really beautiful. The 3oh!3 was too loud for them to hear anything but they could still hear Kenny sing along.

"Girl, I gotta know how you dance like that, D-d-dance like that, you dance like that; 'cause you're puttin' on a show, can I take you back?" he screamed along, headbanging and he started the ignition again. The car went illegally fast but nobody really cared because Officer Barbrady was mentally incapable. 3oh!3 could be heard by everybody and it shattered all the windows except the car windows because they were indestructible. Kenny could afford all of this by himself because even though his family was poor and he had no job he was successful by living.

Kyle was content in Kenny's back seat with his best friends for life when he suddenly gasped because he was startled.

"Oh no!" Kyle exclaimed and gasped with hands on his face.

"What, Kyle?" everybody except Kenny asked in response because now they could all hear him suddenly over the amazing music. Kenny didn't respond to Kyle because he was singing along but he still heard him and was aware of his concerns.

"We didn't buy any food at 7-11 because time went really fast and I didn't know what was happening!" Kyle cried, but then Kenny turned around even though he was driving but he didn't care because he was sixteen, so fuck the rules.

"Yes we did," Kenny paused. "Remember?"

Kyle didn't remember.

"Remember?" Kenny handed him a bag of snacks.

Kyle didn't remember.

"Oh. Okay, but we did," Kenny confirmed, and Kyle shrugged. Oh well. At least they did buy snacks, even if Kyle couldn't keep track of all the things that were happening. He opened the bag and inside it was every snack inside of 7-11. Kyle pulled out Twinkies, the Lunchables with the turkey and cheddar cracker sandwiches, and a Coke, because the fact that he was kosher and diabetic never applied. He liked to eat food and he was sixteen, so fuck the rules.

He opened the Lunchables and headbanged to 3oh!3 while making a cracker sandwich of turkey and cheese slices. These were very delicious and he ate them all immediately and ate all the twinkies too. But he kept drinking his Coke.

Even though the bag was in his lap Craig, Tweek, and Stan were all eating Lunchables too. He felt like they were all connected by some mental psychic connection that brought them all together. They were friends for life.

"We're here!" Kenny announced and pulled by the sidewalk to their terminal. It said "terminal 3" but Kyle knew that they were at "terminal 5" according to his ticket. But then Kyle forgot about that. Kenny hit a button and valet people waited outside for them and unloaded their baggage from the trunk. Kyle frowned and got outside, along with Craig, Tweek, and Stan who were also there. They were all really tired. Kyle was tired too. Kenny got out and shot the peace sign to his valet people and then he did a little dance because he was sixteen, so fuck the rules.

"Okay, we're here!" Kenny cheered. He was happy. They pulled it off. The valet people drove his orange Lamborghini safely into the parking garage that was across the street but they didn't have time to do it themselves, so it was always better to have other people do shit for them. Everybody cheered too because they were happy that they were at the airport. They walked inside and got in line to check in their baggage. But they kinda just shoved everyone else out of the way because they were sixteen, so fuck the rules. No one really cared because they knew that they were inferior to the five of them. So they got to the front of the line and were called up.

"Good evening, gentlemen," the woman behind the desk greeted as Kenny hit buttons on the touch-screen. He went through the process and then frowned.

"We want first class," Kenny demanded, because he was shit you didn't mess with.

"Okay, you can upgrade for-" the woman started, but Kenny shoved his credit card and papers in her face. She obeyed because she was inferior and granted them all first class seats. Everyone was super stoked now. First class seats meant that they got dinner and ice cream and got to lie all the way down even though the flight was like three hours. Kenny put his baggage on the scale and the woman threw it behind her like the obedient bitch that she was, and she did the same for everybody's luggage because she wasn't being paid to stand around. Then the machine printed out their boarding passes like zrrzrrzrrzrzrr and then Kenny gave them to everyone. Kyle was sitting next to Stan so he was happy but nervous. Because he was starting to have sexual tension around Stan now.

Then everybody left the desk and they went to security. They cut more people again and they got on their knees as the five of them walked ahead in the really long line of security. They reached the thing where you take off your jacket and shoes and put it in the boxes and so they started to do that. They put their baggages on the belt thing too because the people were going to make sure that they weren't terrorists. But how could they be? They were sixteen, so fuck the rules.

They all walked through the metal detector and no metal had been detected by the metal detector so they put on their hats and shoes and jackets again. It was a brief time for them because they're fast at doing everything. Kenny led the four of them to their gate that they were going to sit in to enter the plane to California and they followed. They were all really happy. Kyle's jade emerald evergreen eyes were happy too, because they had opinions of their own. Then they all came to the gate because they're fast at doing everything.

They sat down and sleepily looked at each other because they were sleepy. Tweek spazzed because he was insane and then he closed his eyes to sleep but woke up again. This continued. Kyle was thinking about the flight because he was going to sit next to his super best friend for life and he was nervous. Craig flipped Kenny off who was hungry because he left the snacks in the Lamborghini, and Stan's raven black hair was in his eyes again so he flipped it away like a raven would have done.

Boarding was in twenty minutes.