Maybe Love

Friday of Strange Updates, #4

Summary: Ino is unable to define it. Shikamaru thinks it's too troublesome… Of course. OneShot.

Warning: Was supposed to be entirely fluffy... Epic fail. But still, they are my favorite couple and they need a happy ending!

Set: Story-unrelated, future-fic

Disclaimer: Standards apply.

"What is it, young lady?"

Somehow, her teacher always calls her like that and Ino has gotten used to it. Anko isn't the person to be corrected on a mere triviality like a name and the blonde girl has seen her explode on too many other occasions to trigger this bomb of hers. She blinks through the sweat and dust that makes her eyes water and brushes away a few strands of her hair. Her too-short ponytail is coming down.

Shit.

As usual.

„What is it supposed to be?"

"You're distracted today."

It's better to ask for forgiveness than for permission is the first thing Anko taught her.

"I am sorry. I will concentrate now."

"You'd better. Otherwise I'll have to think of why the hell I bother training such a boring person like you."

Ino, used to the harsh kindness given by the woman that is Anko Mitarashi picks herself up and retreats back into her usual fighting stance. And lets Anko beat the crap out of her.

What is it?

As it happens to be, this is exactly the question she has been asking herself the entire day.

"What is it, Nara?"

Shikamaru looks up from his mountain of work and finds himself eye to eye with the most powerful man of the continent.

"Huh?"

So much for an intelligent answer.

Naruto – of all people, Naruto has made it to be the Sixth and hell will freeze over the day he, Shikamaru, won't be there to supervise this hopeless man – towers in front of him, his hands in his hips, his blue eyes sparkling mischievously.

"You just sighed."

"I did?"

"You did."

Troublesome, he thinks and wonders why this man only applies his gift of understanding and reading other people only when the situation doesn't call for it.

"Nothing that concerns you."

Instead of reacting hurt or angry Naruto smiles. He returns to his own desk and flops into the chair, sighing himself and ruffling through the mission reports, requests and statements. Then he grabs a pen and starts working. There still are signs and wonders, Shikamaru thinks and watches the blond man working concentrated for a few seconds. Then his eyes return to his own work and his mind returns to his own thoughts.

So… What is it?

It's not awkwardness.

They meet the first time they both are five years old – or, at least, this is the first time they consciously remember meeting each other. Looking back, it is not one of their favorite memories regarding the outer circumstances.

They meet on a funeral.

Ino wears a black dress with a stiff, white collar.

Shikamaru has been forced into a similarly black suit with a tiny fly and his white shirt feels stiff and itchy.

She looks like a pale ghost, hanging onto the hand of her father tightly. Her blonde hair is short and her blue eyes mirror the unhappiness he feels at having to be here.

Shikamaru tries to stay a few steps behind his father and watches the scene enfold. The people look serene and some are crying, including the tall, blonde woman next to his father. His mother has an arm around her. His father and another man stand there and don't say a word.

Shikamaru can barely remember Mitsuru-San, the man that has been his father's sensei and who has visited them once in a while. He only knows Mitsuru-San is gone and won't come back and he feels uncomfortable in the cool air of the cemetery.

He sneaks away at the first opportunity and encounters the girl. He knows her name is Ino, he knows she's the daughter of his father's former teammate. She's sitting on a stone bench and staring off into nothingness.

For some reason, he sits down next to her. For a while, they sit there and don't say anything.

It's not awkwardness that makes them keep silent. They are children and simply don't feel like talking. The stone is cool and wet underneath them and somehow, they don't mind. The silence envelops them completely until the blonde woman calls out her name and she jumps up and runs towards her without a backwards glance.

(It's a day he'll remember often later because it was the first and only time he remembers her not saying a word.)

It's not really friendship.

Ino has waited so long it feels like eternity and still, he hasn't once turned around and acknowledged her presence.

It's two months into their time at the academy and she has had enough of waiting. I'll show him, she promises herself and starts to change.

There are groups in school, such as there are in any normal school. Ino quickly makes it to the head of the famous girls' clique. She has the talent, the looks and the brains.

Shikamaru doesn't care about social classes. He doesn't look for friends, doesn't try to fit in. He sleeps during classes and reacts unwillingly to every attempt of forcing him to stay awake. It's far from fair that he has no trouble keeping up and even outdoes everyone in tests and exams. But he doesn't work if he doesn't need to and soon is known as the laziest boy in class.

During their first class trip, she is paired up with him and the chubby boy called Chouji she has met around her house a few times and starts complaining immediately. She won't be able to work with them – Shikamaru never cares about assignments and Chouji doesn't get the work done with his constant eating. Infuriatingly, their teacher won't be persuaded to divide the groups differently, blabbering about how great their parents were together and how good they will be able to cooperate.

Ino confines herself with the thought that maybe, they won't be too bad.

But after she watches them for half an hour, not doing anything but eating and – what the heck – staring at clouds, she grabs Shikamaru and Chouji by their collars, screams at them and bullies them into getting their assignment started. Chouji grins annoyingly good-naturedly and Shikamaru mutters and sighs but they actually get some work done.

It's not really friendship that makes them team up and it's not really friendship – at least not between her and Shikamaru – that develops then and there. She hits him and bullies him and he ignores her and calls her troublesome. But there is something.

But they're ten and their story has only just begun.

It's not actual teamwork.

Of course he is teamed up with Ino and Chouji when the time comes to graduate from the academy. Shikamaru should have known and anticipated.

The day they tell them they'll be put on a team together and their teacher will be a guy called Asuma Sarutobi Shikamaru realizes Iruka-Sensei's threats have been empty: He won't have to repeat his final year at the academy for having slept during lessons.

Chouji grins at him and offers him potato chips. He smiles back slightly and accepts. Ino bitches at him that he is a lazy looser and she would prefer to be in a team with Sasuke Uchiha. Uhrg.

"Suit yourself", he mumbles and concentrates his thoughts on thinking nothing in particular to blend out her voice. Since when has her voice begun to sound so shrill?

Strange. He can remember a time when talking to her was interesting, when she didn't bitch and scream and hit him. But thinking of it is futile and he gives up the thought. It's easier to blend her out than to wonder what has happened.

Asuma-Sensei seems like an interesting guy. He makes them train and takes them out for dinner once in a while and somehow, they learn to work as a team. Their first mission is – more or less – successful. They grow on each other, like a habit grows on you when you repeat it often enough. They learn to fight together. They learn to fight others while fighting each other because Ino can never keep quiet and Shikamaru never takes her baits, which makes her frustrated beyond belief. Their usual enemy encounter works like this: Chouji notices an enemy. Shikamaru spies on him. Ino makes them notice them because she just cannot keep quiet. Shikamaru delves in to save the day, uses his Kagemane to incapacitate the enemy, Ino leaves her body to inhabit one of the enemies and, together with Chouji, finishes them off while Shikamaru guards her body. It's strange to listen Ino's voice shouting at him in another persons' voice but, like their fighting tactics, it's something he eventually gets used to.

It's not really teamwork. It's a twisted, estranged version of it in which they all contribute as much as they dare to give but at times it still doesn't feel like it is enough. Chouji probably is the only one that feels absolutely carefree when they are together. But like every other team they work together and like every other team they adjust. And they form a single, incomplete yet beautiful unit.

It's not quite jealousy.

Shikamaru makes it chuunin at the age of fifteen. Sasuke disappears and Sakura is taken up as apprentice of the Fifth Hokage. Hinata develops self-consciousness and her own technique, Kiba and Akamaru make a great team and Shino grows in body and mind as well. Naruto saves Hidden Leaf various times, Chouji gains fame and new strength when he returns from the mission to retrieve Sasuke. And Ino… Stays Ino.

Sometimes, she wonders why she is the only one who seems unable to continue forwards. What impresses her most is Shikamaru. The lazy boy she has known is almost entirely gone. He concentrates on his missions and takes them on – not with exuberance but with determination. He who has shied away from responsibility suddenly develops backbone of his own. Ino trains and sells flowers and goes on missions and, one day, watches her Sensei die and listens to Shikamaru vow they would find the person responsible for Asuma-Sensei's death.

And there, it becomes official: She has been left behind.

It's not quite jealousy she feels. There is admiration for the boy who has grown up so fast, and a tinge of desperation that, once again, he hasn't even turned around to look at her while leaving her. Yes, she envies him for the strength he seems to have found, for the determination she can see in the set of his shoulders and in his face. He, at least, knows what he has to do; he knows what life expects from him. He is born to lead, in one way or another, while she still doesn't know whether she should give up being a kunoichi and better sell flowers instead for the rest of her life.

Ino makes her decision.

It's not exactly fear.

He is twenty-one and he still feels like fifteen.

When have people started to look at him for guidance and advice? When has it happened that he became Nara Shikamaru, not the lazy Nara boy? He has made it jounin, has moved out from home and lives in a small apartment and he feels like he still has no idea how the world works. He still casts looks to the left and to the right to see if what he does is right, if it is what others are doing, as well. Life is a huge ocean of unknown currents and strange islands and somehow he seems to have been dropped right in without having been asked whether he was able to swim. He paddles alright, but he avoids deep areas and tries to fight the currents instead of letting himself be carried away.

He realizes how much has changed when he looks at Ino.

Gone is the little girl that bullied him into working; that made him train and work and move. Gone is the teenager that screamed at him not to be that lazy and that called him names when he ignored her. Gone are the long, blonde locks and her fancy uniform and her superior behavior. In her place, there is a young woman with shoulder-length, soft hair, a plain uniform, and callused and scarred hands. Her face isn't soft and arrogant but set and determined and in her eyes there is the look he has seen in the eyes of too many ANBU before.

Why she has chosen this path he cannot understand but she always knew what she wanted to do, so he doesn't question her.

He finds one can talk to her more easily nowadays. Or maybe one always could but he never tried? They meet in the Hokage's tower and on several other occasions and she always has a polite greeting and a fleeting smile. She smiles less but more truthfully and sweeter than ever. Sometimes, they go out with Chouji, have dinner and talk about assignments and such.

It's not exactly fear he feels when he looks at her face which is now even prettier than it used to be. It's like being torn between worry and protectiveness and his own brain that tells him she is able to take care of herself. She always was. It's like looking into a mirror and seeing the little girl he once met on the cemetery inside a full-grown woman and he knows there is something more to it. But he cannot exactly put his finger on it.

It's not the familiarity.

Time passes and years go by and one day Ino wakes up and feels content. Her life has been nothing like she always has imagined it would be. There have been surprises and disappointments and backlashes and advances and somehow, the entire thing has bundled up, complimented each other, declared a fruitful peace over her head and has grown on her. It's what she calls her life today and when thinking of it she wouldn't want to have it another way.

Listing the achievements of Hidden Leaf, she still doesn't find herself named along with all her friends, but there is another reason to it now.

Sakura is the Head of the new Hospital.

Naruto is the Sixth Hokage. Or is it the Seventh? She is not quite sure as what Danzo counted or whether he counted at all.

Shikamaru is his first advisor and head diplomat.

Chouji is a famous jounin instructor and his kids have made them all proud.

Sasuke has finished his quest for revenge and has returned, has helped Hidden Leaf out several times and slowly the whisper about him always remaining a traitor is dissipating.

Hinata has taken over the Hyuuga Clan and is leading it well.

Kiba has won fame both as a dog-breeder and great warrior and Shino still is on one level with his best friend.

And she is ANBU. Maybe not the strongest one, maybe not the most famous and her name surely doesn't appear in Bingo-books. (Not her real name, that is.) But she does her duty to her home and she is happy.

Strange. She really is.

It's not the familiarity that makes her smile whenever she sees Shikamaru. Upon seeing him, she is reminded of the times they have spent with each other, of the years they have grown up to become what they are today. She remembers a little boy in a stiff, white shirt and with scrubby hair, a lanky teenager whom she has ordered around and the young man who had failed on his first mission and who promised to be strong. So much has happened since then.

It's not loneliness.

Nobody notices, not even them. Or maybe that is because it has begun long ago, when they were children but didn't know what it meant. It is the sequel to Ino hoping Shikamaru would notice her in school and the continuation of Shikamaru wondering what had happened to the girl he once knew.

It begins slowly, softly. They meet at the cenotaph one day, Ino carrying flowers and Shikamaru with his hands buried in his pockets. They don't talk much and listen even more. Ino smiles and Shikamaru's lips twitch softly and she teases him and he asks her out for dinner.

They spend an enjoyable evening together and he escorts her home and she jokes the next time he has to let her pay. She wasn't prepared for the fact that he would take up on her offer so soon.

It becomes a habit.

Whenever she is in town, she would let him know and he would take her out for dinner or meet her somewhere. Not always for long but for a short time that seems to be taken right out of a book: beautiful sunsets, white clouds, snowy streets and cherry blossoms. One night, he kisses her and she closes her eyes and lets him.

It's not loneliness that brings them together. It's something far deeper that has unconsciously been buried inside them for many years. It's strange and exhilarating for both and they avoid speaking of it. It changes everything and yet seems absolutely natural.

Ino is unable to define what it is.

It is good and it is necessary and it is what keeps her going when she is tired and exhausted and wants to drop down dead on the cool forest floor. It is what makes her look forward to coming home and what makes her smile whenever she thinks of it. It is what makes her furious on some days and blissfully happy on others, what gives her strength and hope when her mask grows too heavy to carry and what makes life infinitely more beautiful.

Shikamaru thinks it is too troublesome to bother thinking about it.

Of course.

It's not awkwardness and not their long friendship that makes it strange.

It's not the fact that they still display amazing teamwork that they are good together and it's certainly not jealousy of the other's skills that makes it so difficult on other days.

It's not the fear of being alone in the world and not the familiarity of each other that draws them together again and again and it's not loneliness that makes them seek out each other at every possible situation.

Sometimes, they wonder whether this is what they have been looking for their entire life.

Shikamaru watches the stars through the window and doesn't dare to move because Ino is snuggled up so close to him he can feel her heart-beat. The moonlight casts shadows over her face and she is more beautiful than she ever would be in harsh daylight. But that's fine with him because this way, he is the only one who will ever see her like that.

Maybe it is contentment. Yes, that might fit. Or maybe it is a mix of everything, of awkwardness and friendship and teamwork and jealousy and familiarity and loneliness and fear.

Maybe this is what life is like.

Maybe this is love.