I started this chapter awhile ago, and then sort of lost focus with it. A kind review from Darling Pretty helped me to come back around to finishing the chapter. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed or put it on their story alerts!

Chapter 4

Alex was up, showered, and dressed well before his alarm was scheduled to go off. He wasn't sure that had ever happened before. He had packed Ally's diaper bag with every conceivable thing she might need over the course of the day and was now sitting on the edge of his bed peering into the playpen where she was sleeping. They were going to work today for the first time. He had made all the arrangements with the hospital's daycare center.

He studied his watch carefully. They were well ahead of schedule. She could still sleep for awhile, and they'd still have time for breakfast before leaving. He took a deep breath. He could do this. He gave himself a silent pep talk.

A few minutes later he noticed that she was starting to stir awake. He scooped her up and was patting her back before she could cry and wake up anyone else in the house. "Okay. Let's do this little one." He whispered.

!1

Meredith poked her head into Alex's room an offer of help on her lips when she realized that the room was empty. She checked her watch; Alex didn't need to leave this early to make it to the hospital. She went down the stairs and into the kitchen pulling up short at the site that greeted her. Alex had Alyssa sitting on the counter and he was cleaning her face and hands. "You've fed her already?" She asked surprised. From what she could see Alex looked ready for the day.

Alex looked over his shoulder at Meredith. "Yeah." He tossed the moistened paper towels he'd used away and gathered up the baby.

"Do you need anything? Any help?" She wrapped her cardigan around herself. "You can ride in with us. I could go with you to the daycare." She offered. She moved further into the kitchen and went to the refrigerator to pour herself a glass of juice.

Alex downed the rest of his coffee. "We're good."

"You're good?" She asked. She hadn't expected some big emotional dramatic display from Alex, but neither had she expected this complete nonchalance for him.

"We're good." He repeated shrugging his shoulders. He reached for his bag and the bag he'd packed for Alyssa. "I'm dropping her off at daycare. Let's not make it into a bigger deal than it needs to be."

"Whatever you say." She shook her head and watched him leave the kitchen.

"He's going to work already?" Derrick asked Meredith as he entered the kitchen.

"Yup."

"I'm impressed he's handling this so well." He gave Meredith a quick kiss and moved to the coffee pot.

!1

"It's okay. We don't have to go in until you're ready." He whispered quietly to Alyssa. He had been standing outside the daycare unable to force himself to go in. He stared through the big glass window in at the other children and the teachers. Several other parents had come in, dropped their kids off with a kiss goodbye and left.

"Dr. Karev." A woman came out into the hallway and smiled kindly at him. "Why don't you come in?" She kept her tone gentle and quiet. Parents always had a hard time the first time.

"She's not ready." He held her a little tighter in his arms. Maybe he should have taken another day or two off work.

"She will be fine. We are going to take good care of her." She promised him and smiled encouragingly at him. "My name is Mary. I'm the head teacher. We spoke on the phone." She reminded him.

He swallowed hard and looked down at Alyssa who was happily chewing on the arm of the teddy bear she held. He cautiously entered the room and followed the teacher who had come out to get him to a brightly colored mat covered with toys. He hesitated and then sat Alyssa down on the mat next to Mary who had already taken a spot on the mat. "I don't know…" Alex started. He was ready to scoop his daughter up at the first sign that she wasn't happy.

She dropped her teddy bear and quickly reached for the nearby blocks and started banging them together delighting at the noise it made. "She's going to be fine." Mary promised him again.

"If she cries, or she doesn't like it… You'll page me?" He was aware that he should already be upstairs.

She looked up at Alex. "I promise, Dr. Karev."

He took a deep breath and started for the door. He took one last look at his daughter who was still happily playing with blocks before heading upstairs to start his shift.