I'm not exactly sure when it begun, and for me, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, not knowing is a "big deal". Did it begin after her enormous boyfriend pantsed Leonard and I? Perhaps it was the event where she gave me a Christmas gift, much to my dismay, though I do appreciate it. I still have the napkin sealed in the box so Leonard Nimoy's DNA will stay. That was the first time I had willingly hugged anyone, outside of Meemaw. Another instance that may have cause my dilemma was when she first called me "Moonpie" going through my letters from Meemaw whilst in my room which I allowed regretfully and teased me. If it wasn't the cause, her making a habit out of hugging me has not helped. She always smells like one, of the many, soaps I gave her for Christmas, but her hair s always coconut. And as much as I'd like to deny it, I am not a fool, I cannot lie to myself. Her hugs are warm and I've grown to enjoy her company. I also find myself missing our "Spaghetti Night". Since she and Leonard have re-entered their doomed relationship we have not had "Spaghetti Night". And, to be more honest, I haven't been keeping up with my schedule lately. Here it is, Monday night, and what am I eating? A Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich, which I can assure you, is not from Thailand. I am currently supposed to be researching for work, but I am Instant Messaging Meemaw.

MeeMaw:So how is Everything Moonpie?

Sheldor: Good.

MeeMaw: That so?

Sheldor: Yes.

MeeMaw: Well Leonard tells me otherwise. =)

Sheldor: Leonard is a liar, why are you talking to Leonard?

MeeMaw:He IM-ed me.

Sheldor: Sigh, its nothing.

MeeMaw: Sheldon.

Sheldor:Meemaw.

MeeMaw: Sheldon!

Sheldor:Ok, fine but you cannot tell anyone, especially not mother.

MeeMaw: Alright.

Sheldor: My friends, Leonard and Penny, have begun "dating" again. And I Penny and I no longer have Spaghetti night. I don't know what is wrong with me. I guess that small change in my schedule messed up the rest, because it is Thai night and am I eating Thai? No. I am eating a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich.

MeeMaw:Wow. Moonpie I don't think this is about your schedule.

Sheldor: I don't understand why not, I explained it.

MeeMaw: Sheldon I think you're in love with that Penny girl. You always talk about her to me. I feel I practically know her.

Sheldor: Love is a silly figment of the imagination.

MeeMaw: Well consider yourself silly, boy.

Sheldor: I am not silly nor do I believe I am in love. I'm just confused. I just need to get my focus back and all will be fine.

MeeMaw: Ya think so?

Sheldor: I know so.

MeeMaw: Sheldon Lee Cooper you can't lie to me, or yourself. So you better tell this girl how ya feel.

Sheldor: She's dating Leonard Meemaw… even if I wanted to I'm too late…

MeeMaw:You're never late for love Moonpie.

Sheldor: OK well assuming I had any feelings towards Penny, and I don't, she wouldn't return them and our friendship would be awkward.

MeeMaw: So that's why you're worried? Honey you never know unless you try.

Sheldor: I don't want to. I'm fine being Penny's friend. I am not, however, fine with being ignored just because she is in a relationship.

MeeMaw: Tell me right now; being 100% honest, do you like her?

Sheldor: …

MeeMaw:Moonpie?

Sheldor: I believe I do.

MeeMaw: Then tell her.

Sheldor: I can't.

MeeMaw: Sheldon Cooper can't? I never thought I'd hear that.

Sheldor: Technically you didn't seeing as we are both typing.

MeeMaw:Whatever Kid. I'm going to bed TTYL.

Sheldor: You too

MeeMaw:Love you Moonpie

Sheldor:Love you too Meemaw.

MeeMaw has logged off.

"Oh My God."

I jump hearing the sound of Raj's voice.

"How-"

"Your Vulcan Hearing is no match for my Shy Indian Muteness." He grins, "So you're in love with Penny?"

"No."

He points to the laptop screen, which I quickly shut "No!"

He shrugs.

"Raj, please don't say anything."

"Who am I gonna tell? I can't talk to Penny!"

"Howard or…" I bite my lip "Leonard."

As if summoned, Penny and Leonard walk out of his room, holding hands, hair messed up and both wearing smirks that clearly say "I just did IT."

"Is that… a PB&J?" Leonard asks.

I nod.

"On a Monday?"

"Yes, why were you talking to Meemaw?" I ask.

"Because if I talked to your mom she'd come here and you'd kill me."

"Fair point." I sigh and watch Penny brush through the tangles in her hair with her fingers.

"What's up Moonpie?" She grins, flashing her beautiful white perfect smile.

I feel anger, bubble in my chest "ONLY MEEMAW CAN CALL ME MOONPIE!"

I storm into my room, being sure to slam the door. A wave of emotions hit me like a slap in the face. I do like her.

Anger: at myself for allowing such primitive thoughts.

Jealousy: because of Leonard with his arms wrapped around Penny.

Confusion: with all of it

Hurt: Penny ditching me for Leonard on Spaghetti Night

Annoyance: Raj reading over my shoulder.

Anxiety: I can't tell her.

I hear Penny's soft knock on my door as I realize tears are falling from my eyes. Ugh when have I become such a baby?

"Go Away!" I shout through the door.

"Sheldon, I'm sorry can we talk?" I can hear the frustration in her voice, even through a door.

I decide to ignore her, which, of course leads to her bursting in. I grab a pillow to hide my face. She gasps and sits beside me. She begins to run Counterclockwise circles on my back. I don't even attempt to push her away; I may as well enjoy what little I can have. I continue my utterly ridiculous sobbing and she remains silent. I quite enjoy not hearing "What's wrong." When I finally calm down she rubs her thumbs over my eyelids to wipe away the tears. I give her a weak smile.

"Honey, what's the matter?" she asks in a soft voice.

Honey? But sweetie is her pet name for friends! Honey is reserved for relationships!

I just shake my head vigorously; I'm in no shape to lose my best friend right now.

"Penny!" Leonard calls from the living room.

I sigh and await her departure, but it doesn't come. Instead she kisses my cheek and frowns at me.

"Sheldon I can't help if you wont talk to me."

"Sorry I just miss MeeMaw and you made me think of her." I lie, unusually effortlessly.

She nods "Why doesn't she ever come visit? I'd love to meet her! I feel like I know her!"

"That's what she said."

She glares at me.

"What? Did I say something- Oh. I did not mean it like that at all Penny, I promise."

She giggles, "What did you mean?"

Oh crap. Now I have to admit I've talked about her.

"Meemaw said she'd like to meet you. She feels like she knows you." I look at the floor

"You've talked to your Meemaw about me?" she smiles.

I just nod.

"Well you should talk to her about coming up for a week or so!"

"I think I'll do that." I give her a genuine smile.

"Penny!" Leonard's voice is closer now and the door opens "Hey Sheldon have you seen- Oh, hey Penny!" he frowns "You ok?"

"I am perfectly fine Leonard and I have no clue why you would think otherwise, but you are wrong." I glare at him for interrupting Penny and I.

"Oh…Kay." He turns to Penny "Round 2?" he winks.

I feel as if I am either going to vomit or kill Leonard. Maybe both.

"Maybe in a minute, I was talking to Sheldon." She smiles at me.

He shrugs "Ok." And leaves.

"So you definitely have to talk to your Meemaw! I'd love to meet her officially."

"Officially?"

"I've emailed her a couple times." She smiles.

Panic swells in my chest "About what?"

"You."

I'm like a balloon only filled with panic instead of air "What about me?"

"Asking for some of her recipes for a birthday cake." She sighs.

The panic deflates "Oh."

"Please don't get mad, I just really want to make you a cake, that's all!"

"It's alright Penny. I won't fight you, seeing as if I do you'll tell my Mom."

She giggles "Glad we have an understanding."

"Hey Penny, can I tell you something?" I bite my lip.

"Sure Honey."

Honey…

"You're my best friend. You have been since Leonard betrayed me at the North Pole."

She smiles and her eyes light up "Really? I thought I was just someone annoying that you had to deal with."

"No, though you do annoy me at times, but I'm sure I annoy you, as you've stated yourself. But I am not around you because I have to be. It's because I want to."

Great. Pour your heart out. Go ahead. Figuratively, of course.

She smiles and wraps her arms around my neck "Awe! I want to be around you too Sheldon!"

I take in her smell of coconut and find myself grinning.