An hour had passed since Leah stormed out and despite being exhausted I found it impossible to go back to sleep. Her appearance in my life had shaken me more than I was willing to admit and every time I closed my eyes I was haunted by her gaunt expression and mutilated arms.

I tried not to dwell on it and buried my head in my pillow, inhaling deeply. I realized that my sheets now held a delicate floral scent and hated it; the bed had been mine and Rachel's and I'd stupidly tainted it by letting Leah sleep here.

What had I been thinking?

Leah was not a girl to be taken lightly.

I knew that according to Sam she hadn't always been psychotic, but I wasn't convinced. I just couldn't see how the brash harpy that had always gone out of her way to make our lives hell could have ever been sweet and sensitive - manipulative maybe, but definitely not sweet or sensitive. Leah Clearwater was unfortunately a Class A bitch. She lacked respect and discipline and had a major problem with authority - and that's coming from me. She also encompassed most of the things I hated in a woman, and yet, despite my low opinion of her, it still shocked me to learn she was a drug user and self abuser.

So what did that mean? Was it possible that things in La Push had actually gotten worse since I'd left?

If so, did I even care?

It was frustrating. I knew that I had to let the whole thing go. It had taken me years to put La Push behind me and I'd finally started to feel free of it. I wasn't about to get dragged back into it for any reason. It was hard enough living with the realization that Rachel was gone every morning and that it wasn't just a bad dream. I certainly didn't need to add anyone else's problems to my plate.

So why did I feel guilty about letting Leah leave like that?

The truth was that I had no idea, but I'd only just managed to build myself a vague resemblance of a life in Seattle and I wasn't about to let Leah's brief intrusion drag me back down. So what if she had no money and probably no way to get home? It wasn't like I could be expected to do anything. Jake was the person who was supposed to be responsible for her, so surely one little phone call could easily resolve the situation and then I could return to my life guilt free.

The only problem was that this wouldn't be a little phone call, especially if I called Jake direct. We hadn't exactly been on good terms when I left. In fact, the last thing Jacob had ever said to me was that it was my fault his sister was dead, and he was right.

So, if Jake wasn't an option, who else was?

Whoever I called would have to be able to understand that I wasn't going to get involved any further and that I wanted nothing to do with the packs. I would also have to trust that they would leave it at that and not be able to order me back. The list was getting shorter by the minute.

The other thing about me calling was that it would mean going against Leah's request, but seeing as the girl was clearly a nut job I could live with that.

I begrudgingly dragged my ass out of bed and made my way over to the phone. There was an old black address book lying next to it. The book itself had a smart leather cover and a golden 'R' written in italics across the front. I stroked the letter longingly, remembering when Rachel had thrown it at me after imprinting. The book had been a gift from her father for when she returned to college, but she had lobbed it at my head when I imprinted on her because she knew that she would never go back.

I was always torn about that memory. On one hand, despite the screaming, I had seen just what a beautiful, ferocious creature she was and fallen in love. On the other hand, she had told me that I had ruined her life and it turned out to be true. If I had never imprinted she would have left and would be safe and alive.

I felt my throat tightening and my chest constricting. This was just one small example of how every day was still a challenge. There was always some reminder of Rachel that I had to face. Maybe it was my own fault too. My apartment was much like a shrine to my baby, but it was my only way to keep myself sane. It was bad enough the day I realized her scent had left all of our things. There was no way I would risk removing my daily reminders. I wasn't willing to let my memories just fizzle away and make it like she was never here.

I felt slightly sick as I opened the book and scrolled through seeing all the names of people I had long avoided. Eventually, I reached 'C' and with a notch of dread I dialled the one person that I hoped would help resolve my dilemma.

After several rings, the line clicked at the other end and a familiar male voice answered, "Hello, Cameron residence."

This was a moment I had been avoiding for years and I took a deep breath. "Jared?"

There was a slight pause before Jared spoke again. "Paul?"

"Long time, huh?" It was all I could think to say.

"Yeah, no kidding..." he said shakily. "Shit man, how the hell are you?"

"I'm fine. I, err..."

I had barely got a word in before Jared was off again. "So, are you back? Sam is going to freak when I tell him you called. It's been far too long."

"Yeah, about that..."

"You're not back, are you?" He sounded disappointed.

I tried to ignore the sudden tension between us. "No, but look, this won't take long - I need a favor."

"A favor? Jeez, Paul it's been two years. You can't just ring up out of the blue wanting favors and not tell me anything! I mean, how long are you going to stay away? You should be here, man, with your family. Everyone misses you. You just completely disappeared on us."

"Three." I clarified.

"Sorry?"

"It's been three years actually and I don't have a family anymore. My only family is dead, remember?" I said coldly.

"I'm sorry. We all miss Rachel. Come on though. You should be here."

I was already getting frustrated. This is the last thing I wanted to get into. I needed to cut this conversation short and quickly. "Trust me, La Push is the last place I should be. Now, I'm sorry to ring you up like this out of the blue, but will you help me or not?"

There was a long pause. "You know I will."

"Good because I need you to get a message to Jake."

"Why can't you?" he asked confused.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Don't be dense, Jared. Think about it."

"I know things are rough between you, but you'd have about as much chance of finding him as I would."

"What does that mean?"

"He's gone, Paul. He left with the Cullens not long after you turned tail. Billy's gone too; he moved in with Rebecca and her family in Hawaii. He said there were too many bad memories here."

"Hang on, Jake's gone? What about his pack?"

"What pack? After the battle he didn't have a pack left. They just... fell apart. I know that we lost some of the cubs and I'm not taking anything away from what they meant to us, but they lost Seth. That was a heavy blow to all of us."

"So, Jake just quit? Just like that? He shirked his pack and responsibilities and ran off with those murdering leeches?"

"I don't like it either. None of us did, but what could we do? He lost his sister and one of his best friends. He wanted to leave; you of all people should get that."

"I do, but not with the blood suckers. They caused this fucking shit."

"I know, man."

"What about Embry and Quil?"

"They left too. I think they have a workshop up on the Makah Res' near Claire. I never hear much about them, just snippets through Emily."

"How can you all be so disconnected? This is bullshit."

"Yeah, well, that's easy for you to say, but a lot went down after you jumped ship, and things changed quickly."

"Well, you're still there? What about your pack?"

"Sam and I still phase and patrol, although with the leeches gone we're doing it less and less. Sam dismissed the rest of the guys after the war. He wanted them to live their lives and make the most of things after everything that had happened."

"So, it's just you two now?"

"Yep, just us, Emily and Kim, and our little girl."

"You have a kid?"

"Yeah. She's just into the terrible twos."

"Congrats I guess."

"Thanks. So, how about you? Maybe we could catch up, in person I mean. If you told me where you were then..."

"Look, Jared, no disrespect. You've always had my back, and I appreciate that, but after this phone call I'm gone again. This isn't a reunion, it's an intervention."

"An intervention? For who?"

"Leah Clearwater."

"Well, that's a name that shouldn't be said too loudly around here."

"Meaning?"

"She's bad news, man. After everything that happened she just went off the rails. We tried to help, but she wasn't interested. You know what she used to be like - sharp tongue, sharper teeth. She was the nail in the coffin when it comes to Jake. He might have stayed if she hadn't attacked Renesmee. Leah actually managed to tear a chunk of the girl's face off before Jake could stop her."

"She attacked his imprint, why? Tribal Law says..."

"I know, but she went mad. She said that Renesmee was the reason the Volturi came and that Seth was dead. Jake was furious. He almost killed her. Sam had to intervene and managed to talk him down. She was close to dead when he reached her and was just lying on the forest floor, blood everywhere. I saw it all through his mind and it wasn't a pretty sight. Anyway, after that, Jake banished her from the pack, she refused to join our pack and Sam didn't have the heart to force her."

"Then what happened?"

"She disappeared for a few months. By the time she came back, Embry and Quil had left and she was hanging out with some guys from the other end of the Res'. That's when things went from bad to worse. It started with her drinking and then went on to drugs and eventually stealing and god knows what. We all tried to help her, but she wouldn't let us. Sue tried too, but in the end she and Charlie gave up – they had no fight left."

"So you all left her alone? You left a grieving young girl alone because she wouldn't let you help her? You let her shoot herself full of drugs and no one accepts responsibility for that as their problem?" I didn't know why I was suddenly getting so angry. I could feel the wolf in me, clawing to get out. I just couldn't believe any of what I was hearing.

"Wow, calm down. Leah's always looked after herself and she's an adult. We tried, Paul, we really did, but we all had our own families to piece back together so don't you dare try and point the blame. After all, you gave up on all of us a long before any of this."

I was stunned that he had the audacity to try and make me feel guilty. "Yeah and this is exactly why I left. La Push is full of nothing but selfish cock suckers. So, what? You had to piece your life back together. At least you had something to piece back. What did Leah have? What did I have? Don't you dare judge me for leaving or act like you missed me."

There was a slight pause on the other end of the line. "Of course I missed you. We grew up together. You're as good as my brother. We all looked for you..."

"Well you didn't look very hard because if Leah Clearwater can find me pissed and stoned off her head without even trying then you are either a shitter tracker than I thought or a liar."

It was Jared's turn to sound angry. "Ok. I'm not doing this. I'm not going to stand here after three years of no contact and listen to you insult me. I'm sorry that Rachel is dead. I can't imagine what you go through every second of every day and for that reason I can understand your anger, but you left, Paul. You made that choice and that's for you to deal with. Besides, why are you so suddenly concerned with Leah Clearwater? You've always gone out of your way to make her life hell."

Hearing Rachel's name out loud stung and the pain it brought sobered my anger. I also knew that it made no sense why I was even worried about Leah. Jared was right about how I used to treat her.

"You're right. I have never liked Leah, but this is different, Jared. She showed up at the bar where I work last night and she looked like hell. Then when she left, the guys she was with tried to... they tried to rape her and you know what really got me - she didn't even fight back, she just took it. In the end it was me who stopped the attack and I had no choice but to take her back to mine to rest, but then she came around and blew up in my face and left."

"I'm sorry, she dragged you into it. You just need to forget about it though. I know it's harsh, but like I said there's no helping her."

The Jared I used to know seemed to no longer exist. That guy used to be my conscience and would always go out of his way to see the best in people. To hear him so cold towards another person, even Leah, proved how much everything had changed. It was frustrating.

"So that's it, you won't check if she's ok or even got home?" I snapped.

"I won't, but I'll tell Sam, ok? He still tries with her when he can, but even he struggles these days."

"Thanks. That's all I'm asking." Something was better than nothing, I supposed, and it was at least good news that Sam still bothered with her. I could now walk away guilt free, having passed the buck.

"So, what now?" Jared said uncertainly.

"I guess I hang up." I sighed.

"Paul, why don't you just tell me where you are and I could come up and see you? It could be like old times." He sounded genuine and almost sad.

"I know and thanks for the gesture, but unfortunately that's the last thing I want."

"I guess I understand that."

"Good. I'm glad things worked out for you, Jared. So, let's just leave it at that." It was the only nice thing I could think to say and I didn't want to end our conversation on an argument. As far as I was concerned, this was the last time I would need to speak to him.

"Sure thing. Be safe, mate."

"Sure," I said quietly and hung up immediately before things got any more awkward.

As I put the phone down, I fell back onto my sofa. I felt emotionally exhausted and was glad today was my one day off from both of my jobs. I tried to relax, but everything Jared had said kept running through my mind. The biggest shock had been hearing that Jake had left with the leeches. I also couldn't believe that he had banished Leah from his pack. I knew that imprintees were sacred, yet a sadistic part of me could understand how she blamed Renesmee. The half breed was the reason for the war and incidentally that was why Rachel was dead. I snorted as I wondered how pretty she looked after her run in with Leah and just hoped she had to live forever with a physical reminder of what she had cost all of us.

It was, at least, good to know that Jared was doing alright. He had Kim and a daughter and had clearly built himself a life. I couldn't begrudge him any of that, even though I knew it was something I would never have without Rachel.

Rachel... I tried to remember the little things about her as I did every night - the feel of her silky black hair, her sweet floral scent, the taste of her skin on my lips, her smile... the list went on. I couldn't help it. I knew the moment that I'd laid eyes on her that she was it for me. No one could or would ever compare to her or be able to take her place in my heart.

I could feel myself quickly spiralling into depression and wanted to blot it all out for once. Not Rachel per say, but the day in general. I got up and walked over to my kitchen, reaching in the back of my cupboard for an old friend. I finally found Jack and his signature black label was a welcome sight. I grabbed a glass and poured myself a large neat shot. As the first glass tipped down my throat, I relished the warm feeling it caused as it trailed down into my stomach. I chased it down with a second... a third... a fifth... a tenth... until I started to feel the buzz and lost count. Eventually, I felt satisfied that I would be able to sleep and ignore the events of the day and I crawled back into my bed ready to forget it all.

Two days had passed since my quiet life was rudely interrupted and I was pleased to be back on the road to ignorance. I had quickly thrown myself back into work and done my best to forget all about La Push yet again.

I was currently working another late shift in the bar. It was another busy night and I seemed to be spending most of it in the cellar, changing barrels. I actually found it one of the most enjoyable tasks, seeing as it was a solitary chore and a physical one. Sometimes it got frustrating, standing behind a bar and serving drinks as drunken women hit on you or intimated men were obnoxiously rude.

Clearly, it wasn't meant to last and not long after I'd fixed in the last barrel, one of the barmaids shot down the steps, calling after me panicked.

She was a petite little blonde, who looked barely twenty-one and I remembered her name was Jenny.

"Paul? Paul?" she yelled.

"In here." I hollered back.

She came rushing through the archway, looking incredibly flustered. "Paul, you've got to get up stairs quickly. Some girl is up there, shouting after you and smashing up the place. We've threatened to call the police, but she's not budging."

"A girl?" A feeling of dread dawned on me. "What does she look like?"

"Skinny, long black hair and um, like you," she said, blushing.

"You mean Quileute?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "One of the guys tried to stop her, but she floored him and no one else has dared to go near her."

It didn't take much for me to realize exactly who it was and I groaned at the thought of what was going to be a very public, attention drawing scene. I immediately stormed past Jenny and up the stairs. It wasn't long before I heard the bitter yelling of the angry woman and the sound of glass smashing.

I turned the corner and entered the bar only to be faced with Leah Clearwater. She was red faced and fuming. Her body trembled and as she turned towards me, she seemed to pick up speed and ran at me.

"You fucking interfering bastard! Do you have any idea what you have done! I'm going to fucking kill you." She was on me in seconds, her fists flying at my face and her knees aiming for my nuts.

Despite her fury, she still looked frail and within seconds of her assault I had grabbed her and locked her arms behind her back, pinning her front against the nearest wall. She tried to kick backwards at me, but I pinned her legs with mine.

I looked around and saw the crowd that had gathered around us. The bar was covered in shattered glass and my colleagues stood in the background, looking concerned.

"Just what the fuck are you doing?" I hissed into her ear.

"You told him, bastard," she yelled, thrashing once more.

"I..." I was about to try and calm her when my manager arrived.

"Just what the hell is going on here?" He had frozen in the door way with a look of shock across his face.

Jamie, the barman, tried to stick up for me. "It's not Paul's fault. This girl came in here and started smashing things and shouting for him."

"Call the police." He immediately ordered, and Jamie reluctantly picked up the phone and started dialling.

"You know this girl?" My manager turned and looked at me, eyebrows raised.

Leah went to speak, but I gripped her tighter.

"Just shut up right now," I snapped and shook her more roughly than intended. "You hear that? The police are coming, are you happy?"

She trembled once more in my grip, but fell silent.

I looked at my boss, trying to weigh up all the ways this could end. The guy hated me, so whatever happened was unlikely to have a positive result. Worst of all, the police were coming for Leah. It really shouldn't have worried me, considering the destruction she had just caused, but after speaking with Jared the other night and knowing what had gone on back home it did. I had to make a decision and quickly, and I already knew what it was. I just hoped it wouldn't ruin everything.

I looked my manager in the eye. "I'm sorry, Sir. Miss Clearwater here was just leaving. She is very sorry about the damage and I'm willing to pay for any costs personally out of my pay if we can resolve this without the police being involved."

"Paul, you know the rules about bringing your personal life to work." He seemed to digest my offer, before the glint of a smile crossed his face. "However, I am a fair man. If you will pay for all damages, I'll be happy to tell the police this was a misunderstanding."

I couldn't believe he was going to let it slide just like that. Maybe he didn't hate me as much as I originally thought. "Thank you, it won't ever happen again."

He nodded. "Of course not. After all, you're going to hand in you notice immediately, aren't you?"

I did a double take. "Excuse me?"

"Well, I can't risk this kind of thing happening again, so I think it would be best for you to leave. Then she has no reason to come here ever," he said coolly. "Of course, if you would like to take the official route we can always have her arrested. It's really up to you."

"You cheating fuck," I hissed. "I'm your best worker and you'd just sack me for this one thing?"

Surprisingly Leah continued to remain still against the wall. A part of me wanted to snap one of her wrists that I held in my hands out of sheer spite. She had done this to me and it just wasn't fair. My safe life was crumbling in front of my eyes. I looked back to the smug asshole a few meters away from me.

My manager looked unfazed and incredibly pleased with himself. "Don't be absurd. I couldn't fire you for this. That would be a breach of your contact. After all, you have just been assaulted at your work place and it's my duty to support you if you wish to report it to the police. I'm just suggesting a more suitable solution that suits everyone."

I turned away, hate filling my mind. I twisted Leah's wrist so that it hurt her and felt some brief satisfaction when she flinched. "What do you think, Leah? Do I hand in my notice or do you fancy a trip down town?" I asked bitterly.

"Fuck you," she spat.

I sighed. Despite how mad she made me I knew I couldn't let her be arrested. "I think you just did," I answered.

I looked back to my manager. "Fine, I quit. You can take my notice as paid holiday with immediate effect. I believe I have more than enough days to cover it and the damage."

"Yes, that's quite agreeable. I trust you can see yourself out, Mr Lahote." He nodded and happily walked off into his office, slamming the door behind him.

Jamie approached me, my jacket in his hand. "I'm sorry, man. That was harsh." He offered.

"Yeah, well shit happens. I'll see you around." I nodded to him in thanks before adjusting my grip so that I had a strong hold of Leah's arm. With my free hand I grabbed my jacket and hauled her out the back exit and into the alley. I heard the sounds of glass being swept up as the door slammed closed behind me and I threw her onto the grimy concrete.

Leah didn't even try and stop her fall, and tumbled to the ground. She slumped onto her ass and sat there pathetically. I couldn't bear to look at her and decided to beat the shit out of a trash can rather than her. Eventually, when the bin was reduced to nothing more than a tin can, she decided to speak.

"This is your fault. You shouldn't have got involved," she said bitterly behind me.

I laughed out of sheer disbelief. I turned to face her. "At what point should I have stopped? When you were going to be raped? When I told Jared out of some sort of concern? Or when I stopped you getting arrested? Tell me, Leah - what the hell were you thinking? I just lost my fucking job because of you and all you can say is it's my fault? You are such a fucking bitch."

"Screw you. You shouldn't have done any of it. I don't need you to be my hero. Thanks to you, Karl won't fucking speak to me and Sam has been threatening to get me committed. You've ruined everything and I hate you," she yelled from the floor.

"I think you've managed to ruin everything all on your own. You didn't need my help." I snapped. "And by the way, you don't have to worry because I certainly won't be interfering again. You're on your own."

"Good." She snorted and started to push herself off the floor. I noticed she was in a pair of dirty jeans and a tatty old t-shirt. Her hair was thrown up in a rough pony-tail and there was the faint trace of a bruise around her eye.

"You're pathetic. Do you even realize what a state you look or don't you care? You may as well be dead the rate you are going," I said in disgust.

For the slightest moment she looked ashamed. It was her eyes that gave it away. Under her angry expression there was something in them that seemed to dim, and suddenly I got it.

"Fuck. You're actually trying to destroy yourself, aren't you?"

"I... don't be a fuck-tard. I'm leaving." Her expression hardened and she started to head towards the street.

"Who knows, maybe you will succeed where I couldn't," I shouted after her.

She froze at the end of the alley and looked back over her shoulder. "Excuse me?"

I mimicked a gun pointed at my temple with my hand and made a gunshot noise. Leah raised her eyebrows.

"I tried, but couldn't bring myself to do it." I explained. "At this rate you will though."

"Well then, I guess I'll be doing you all a favor," she said bitterly. She opened her mouth to speak and then shut it. Eventually she seemed to find the words she was looking for. "Why didn't you do it?"

"Do what?" I asked confused.

"Die," she said it as if it was obvious.

"I don't know. I guess Rachel once told me how she felt about suicide and it stuck. I guess I live for her. Seth would..."

She shook her head angrily. "You don't get to say his name, no one does, and don't pretend to understand me. We're different."

"And yet the same." I laughed sourly.

She didn't even answer and this time strolled out on to the pavement and into the crowds without looking back.

I stayed where I was briefly before starting the walk home. I was still pissed off that I had just been fired, but I knew I'd find something else easy enough and that there was no point in worrying about it.

Leah on the other hand still made me furious. It didn't seem to matter what she did or said she just left a trail of destruction behind her and fucked everything up. My new life had been almost good up until now. I should have just let the cops take her away. That would have solved everything and would have probably even helped Sam get her committed if that was really was what he was up to.

Is that what she needed though?

Was she actually crazy?

Sure, this was Leah Clearwater and she had always been mental, but actual crazy I didn't know. Was Sam's solution just a way of getting her out of the lives and passing the buck like I had and if so where did the buck stop?

God, I hated her. I honestly did, but I also understood her in some ways and it worried me that she had actually bothered to track me down to yell at me. She also knew where I lived and I had a sinking feeling that this wouldn't be the last I'd hear from her.

AN

Look at me go - two stories updated in the space of two weeks! I really hope you enjoyed the latest chapter and thanks to everyone for bearing with me. As always your feedback is appreciated and I'm grateful to all that have read and/or reviewed this story so far!

Finally, I must give praise to my beta don'tcallmeleelee who is my little comma saviour!