Disclaimer: The characters, places etc. belong to J.K. Rowling

Chapter 7:

Lily's POV

"I'm so proud of you, Lily!" Marlene repeated for about the fifth time and beamed at me from where she was sitting on her bed.

"Yes, I know, you keep telling me that.", I replied dryly.

I was starting to regret that I had admitted to Marlene that I had a date with James on the next Hogsmeade weekend. And I was also starting to regret having that date in the first place. What had got into me yesterday evening that I hadn't only agreed to a date, but actually asked him? It must have been sleep deprivation, if I had been more awake and in full command of my mental faculties, I never would have come up with such a stupid idea. That could only go wrong!

Sure, I had enjoyed my conversation with James last night, but that didn't mean that I had to throw all my principled overboard! Of course I would still go, I made my bed and I would lie in it, but James would be sorry if he didn't behave!

"What's the matter Lily, getting cold feet?", Marlene grinned. Of course she saw me racking my brain and once again came to the right conclusion, she really knew me to well.

"I wouldn't exactly call it getting cold feet. Rather: My common sense, which temporarily abandoned me last night, has come back and now I'm wondering what the hell I have got myself into.", I grumbled.

"Oh Lily, don't always be such a pessimist! You were getting along just fine with him yesterday evening. And besides, he had to wait so long for this date, I'm sure he'll go to extra lengths to make sure that everything will go alright and that you're comfortable."

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of. All this "great ideas" of his have ended in a total catastrophe so far. Or were simply embarrassing. That's why I don't even want to imagine what he's planning for this date…" The thought alone made me shiver. It was already a miracle that James hadn't announced our date to the entire school yet. But maybe that's because he finally decided to grow up, a voice in my head said. And I had to admit that James had got a lot more… interesting during those last weeks, after he had finally stopped hexing all sorts of people and stopped being so arrogant. Besides, I did have fun last night, even if all we did was doing homework together. And I had discovered a few new sides of him. That he had strictly refused to tell me what was the matter with his friends was pretty impressive. That definitely proofed that James was someone you could one hundred percent rely on.

I involuntarily had to smile. That must be one of James' good sides that Remus had constantly assured me existed. And I was somewhat curious about James' other good sides, especially after having been exposed to his bad sides more than enough. Also, if James kept up his behaviour during the last few weeks and didn't fall back into his old behaviour, then the date could actually be quite nice… OK, I would give him a fair chance.

"Well, finished discussing it out with yourself?", asked Marlene who had kept watching me and probably read every one of my thoughts right off my face.

"I'll give him a chance.", I answered and Marlene nodded.

"Good! I think he definitely deserves one after all his efforts."

"Tell me, why are you so desperate to hook me up with James, anyway?"

"Well, because I'm feeling kinda sorry for the guy, considering the way you used to treat him…" Marlene grinned, but then turned serious again. "And because I want you to be happy. I'm sure you would be happy with him. I mean, Potter's been chasing after you for about three years now and has, as far as I can tell, always been loyal to you, without actually being together with you. He could have simply given up after you made it clear over and over again, that there would never be anything between you. But he didn't, no matter how many times you turned him down. And that definitely shows how much you mean to him!"

"I honestly never looked at it that way.", I contemplated. "I always just saw him as this annoying idiot, who simply has set his mind to conquer me. But that he's so stubborn because I really mean something to him… I really never looked at it like this…" I could feel my face heating up. "I really did hurt him, didn't I?"

Marlene shrugged. "I don't think he'll hold a grudge."

I was just about to opened my mouth and tell her that this didn't sound exactly encouraging, when the door opened and Sarah came in.

"Hey girls!", she called happily and, after a look in our faces, added: "What's the matter with you, did something happen?"

"You can say that out loud! Our Lily here finally has a date with James Potter on the next Hogsmeade weekend!", Marlene blurted out.

I threw her a poisonous look. Did she have to tell everyone?

"Really?", Sarah called excitedly. "That's brilliant! Then we can go on a double-date. You and James and me and Sirius!"

I pulled a face. "No thanks, James alone is enough trouble. I definitely don't need Black around too!"

Sarah laughed: "Yes, all that hubbub is something you have to get used to! But I really think it's great that you're gonna be hooking up with James now. Then all we have to do now is hook you up with Remus or Peter, Marlene.", Sarah then turned to Marlene.

Who put up her hands in defence. "Nah, not interested. And besides, I already have my eye on that guy from Ravenclaw."

"Oh, right, that mysterious brunette, who you don't even know the name of, yet." Sarah giggled.

"Oh, shut up, I'm gonna find it out one day!", Marlene threw her pillow at Sarah, who laughed and dodged it, and the pillow flew in the direction of the door, which opened right at this moment.

"Oomph!", sounded a voice and shortly after a girl appeared in the doorway, by the looks of her maybe a second- or third-year.

"Oh, I'm sorry! Did you get hurt?", Marlene asked the girl, who was holding the pillow in one hand and rubbing her nose with the other.

The girl shook her head and then asked shyly: "I'm sorry for just barging in like that, but you didn't seem to have heard me knocking. Is one of you Sarah?"

"Yes, that's me!", Sarah answered and looked questioningly at the girl. "What's it?"

"Uhm, I'm supposed to tell you that Sirius Black is waiting downstairs in the common room and wants to talk to you. He can't climb the stairs to our dorms, so he sent me."

"Alright, thanks!", Sarah called happily. Then she threw a "Speaking of the devil!" in our direction and vanished with a big grin on her face through the door.

Sirius' POV

I had decided to break it off with Sarah. Now that James had told Remus everything it didn't make sense to uphold this "relationship" anymore, which wasn't real anyway.

I couldn't believe that James really went and told Remus everything. Even if he just wanted to help me, he'd promised not to tell anything and I was really disappointed that he had broken that promise. Since he had dragged Remus out of the common room I hadn't seen any of them and I was glad about that. I didn't want to see either of them right now.

Peter had buggered off too, shortly after the two had disappeared and I had used the time while I was alone to think things over and came to a conclusion. Which was to finally clear things up. And that also meant to end my fake relationship with Sarah. For one thing, James was right and it really wasn't right to play with her like that, especially now that I had realised that I would never develop real feelings for her, and for another thing, there's no point to it anymore, now that Remus knew everything.

I had also come to the decision to finally talk to Remus. I never wanted him to learn about it that way, but now that there was no way to turn it back, I at least had to offer him an explanation. And preferably today. If I waited any longer I would permanently loose him as a friend. I just hoped that this hadn't happened already.

I could hear fast footsteps coming down the stairs and I looked up just in time for Sarah to fling her arms around my neck.

"Hi honey! What did you want to talk to me about? Did you finally find a place where we can be all alone?" Sarah grinned and winked at me.

"No, that's not what this is about.", I replied.

There were plenty of places where you could be undisturbed, but she didn't need to know that. Especially since this had been the perfect excuse for why we couldn't do more than kissing. But well, in a few minutes from now I wouldn't need an excuse anymore anyway.

I loosened her arms around my neck and softly pushed her away. "Listen, I…" Maybe I should gently break it to her. But I also wanted to get it over with quickly.

"Yes, what is it?" Sarah looked at me expectantly and with big eyes. "There's nothing wrong, is it?", she added concerned and cocked her head.

I better got this over with quickly. "Sarah, I… I want to break it off!" So, that was it then.

Sarah's expression turned to shock. "What?! But why, it was all going so well between us! Did I do something wrong? I can try to change, if there's something that's bothering you about me! I…"

"Sarah…", I interrupted her babbling. "It doesn't have anything to do with you. I know, I know, that's sort of what people usually say when breaking off, but I mean it. I… I'm in love with someone else…" I wasn't sure if telling her that was the smartest move, but I didn't want to lie to her anymore.

"Who? Who is she?", Sarah asked with a frosty voice. "Is it Lily?"

"Lily? Whatever made you think it's Lily?"

"So I'm right?"

"Of course not! I'm not interested in her in the slightest! And besides, she's James' girl! Well, sort off… soon… maybe…" I trailed off. I was rambling anyway.

"At least it would explain why you're so incapable of having an actual relationship.", Sarah continued and her voice sounded surprisingly calm, even if there was still a icy tone in it.

I was used to my girlfriends breaking out in tears or becoming furious when I broke up with them, but Sarah seemed to take it surprisingly well in comparison.

That is, if I disregarded the fact that she somehow seemed to think that I was interested in Lily. I might have a lot of things in common with James but that definitely wasn't one of those things.

"The other girls – and me too – always thought that you simply weren't interested in long term relationships. Well, since we've been dating for a few weeks now I was starting to hope that it's different this time and that you're seriously interested in me, but now that you're telling me that you're in love with someone else… It would make sense if it's Lily… the girl that's definitely off-limits to you…" Sarah had been staring down at her shoes while talking and still kept her head lowered, but her voice had lost its frosty tone and now just sounded sad and disappointed.

I was starting to feel sorry for her. It never had been easy to break up with a girl, but in the past I had always thought to have had an interest in that particular girl or it had been made clear from the beginning that it wasn't anything serious, but I had used Sarah right from the beginning and I wanted to tell her the truth. I owed her that.

"I have no interest in Lily. I suppose the way you made it sound, it would sort of make sense, but it's not Lily."

"Who is she then?", Sarah pressed.

"It's not a she.", I mumbled quietly, but when Sarah jerked up her head and stared at me with wide eyes, I knew that she had heard me.

"Not a she?! You…? Oh my God… Why did you ask me out in the first place then? I mean, you won't just have realised that today, right?! You… you were using me all this time?!" Sarah glared at me and I instinctively took a step back.

"I'm sorry, it was a stupid idea… That's why I decided to tell you the truth…"

"Oh, and that's supposed to make me feel better, huh? That was a lot more than just a stupid idea!" Sarah angrily stepped forward, slapped me in the face and then stormed out of the common room.

I held my throbbing cheek and sighed. Guess I deserved that.

Remus' POV

I didn't know how much time had passed since James had left me in the empty classroom, but I wasn't planning to get out here any time soon. I was sitting on one of the tables and stared down at the tips of my shoes, which were slightly bobbing up and down, while I was still trying to stomach what I had realised so suddenly.

Sirius… Had I really fallen in love with him, without even actually realising it myself? Was something like that even possible? I mean, shouldn't you notice that somehow? Or was I really that good at subconsciously suppressing my own emotions?

I had always thought that Sirius was good-looking, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. I mean he was good-looking, that was a fact, you could see that in the way the girls were chasing after him, so it wasn't that odd for me to notice it too, right? And the fact that I never could stay mad at him for a long time and couldn't say no to him, or that I had no reservations about touching him and that I was feeling comfortable around him didn't have to mean anything… That merely showed what close friends we were, right? But on the other hand…

"Have you fallen in love with Sirius?" James words echoed in my head. He must have got that idea from somewhere, so he must have noticed some signs…

I thought back on the last weeks and months and looked for signs of something changing between us, or if there was a moment when I had started to see Sirius with different eyes. But, our argument and Sirius' secretiveness aside, the only thing I could think of was that Sirius, before he had started to avoid me, had become a lot more touchy-feely than before. He'd never had any reservations about getting into someone's personal space, but at some point during those last months he had started to put his arms around my shoulders any chance he got or to cling to me in some other way. And for some reason I hadn't minded it at all.

Up until now I had simply thought that I had got used to Sirius' antics, but if I really thought about it, Sirius was the only one I let get so close. Even if it was James putting a friendly arm around my shoulders I felt uncomfortable and I shook him off quickly. With Sirius I never had those reservations. Quite the opposite. It was only when Sirius had started to avoid me, that I realised how much I had missed it. I blushed when I realised what that meant. I hadn't just missed Sirius' friendship but his touch. Looks like James had been right after all…

But what was up with Sirius' sudden distance, anyway? I had already racked my brain about it during the last weeks, but what if Sirius had actually told the truth and it wasn't my fault? Or only indirectly my fault?

It had all started on Lily's birthday. In the morning everything had still been alright, even if he had already been acting a bit strange then. But then he had suddenly run out of the Great Hall and he avoided me ever since. "I gave it up, because I don't want to destroy our friendship!" That's what Sirius had said before he fled. I had always assumed that he had been talking about Sarah, but if I really thought about it, he never had been friends with Sarah. Actually, he had barely spoken a word to her before he had suddenly introduced her as his new girlfriend.

And the way James had acted earlier… He had been so close to telling me everything and then suddenly changed his mind and started to question me about my feelings for Sirius instead…

I froze and then I could feel not only my face but my entire body heating up, when I finally realised the meaning of it all. The person Sirius had fallen in love with hadn't been Sarah but me!

No wonder that he didn't want me to know about it. That would also explain his strange behaviour during the last weeks. But in the beginning he didn't seem to have had much of a problem with it, considering how much he had been clinging to me… Had he suddenly really got this afraid of losing me as a friend? But even if I hadn't reciprocated his feeling, I wouldn't have ended our friendship…!

My head was spinning and I tilted it backwards and looked up at the ceiling with a sigh. That was definitely too much emotional chaos for one day. Not only had I figured out my own feelings for Sirius but, if I had interpreted everything correctly, he liked me too and apparently quite a lot. What now? Part of me was overjoyed that Sirius seemed to have fallen in love with me, and the other part was short of a panic attack. How was I supposed to act the next time I saw him? I couldn't just pretend that everything was like always, especially since he knew that I knew his secret, even if he thought it was James who told me. But I also couldn't just walk up to him and confess my feelings. Damn it, why did I have to be so inexperienced in romantic matters?

Suddenly I heard the click of the door handle and I stopped staring at the ceiling and turned towards the door, just to look right into Sirius' nervous face. I swallowed down a sudden lump in my throat and strongly hoped not to blush, which didn't work, though.

"Hey…" Sirius' voice sounded as nervous as I felt. "Uhm…" Sirius waved around a piece of parchment, which I recognised as the Marauders' Map. "James left the Map in the dormitory, that's how I found you." He pulled a face, then continued talking: "Well, who cares how I found you… Uhm, James told you everything?"

"No.", I answered truthfully and Sirius looked at me surprised.

"No?", he asked and I shook my head.

"He said that you can bloody well me yourself."

"Heh…" Sirius sheepishly ran his hand over the back of his head. "I suppose I should apologise to him for not trusting him there… But here I thought you already know everything and… I mean, I'll tell you, I just thought…" Sirius trailed off and dug the tip of his shoe into a small dent in the floor.

"I know it.", I said.

After the last weeks it would have been just fair to leave him hanging and make him tell me everything, but after seeing him like this I just couldn't do it.

Sirius looked up. "But I thought that James didn't tell you?"

"He didn't. I… I've been mulling the entire situation over in my head and finally figured it out in the end…"

"Oh." Sirius slowly came closer and then sat down on the table in front of the one I was sitting on. "So? Are we still friends?", he asked meekly and looked at me with his puppy dog eyes.

I breathed in deeply, summoned up my courage and then said: "No."

Sirius slumped down. "I suppose I can understand that. I mean, that must be a really awkward situation for you and…"

"Sirius!", I interrupted him. "What I wanted to say was: I was hoping that we could be more than friends from now on…"

Sirius looked at me with wide eyes. "You mean… are you trying to say that…"

I nodded and Sirius broke out in a big grin, the first real grin I had seen on him in weeks.

Then he suddenly threw himself forward and gave me a strong squeeze. The table groaned under the additional weight and shook dangerously.

"Hey, be careful!", I laughed and wrapped my arms around his back.

"Screw the table.", Sirius muttered against my ear, then he pulled back a bit to look into my eyes. "If I think about how much time I wasted with acting like such a giant moron…"

I opened my mouth to tell him that it didn't matter in the end and everything turned out well, but I never got the chance because Sirius leaned forward in that moment and pressed his lips to mine.

~*The End*~