Not A Date

Disclaimer: I do not own, or claim to own, Hetalia, its characters, or Teenage Dream by Katy Perry. Just had the idea when I heard the song on the radio the other day. Enjoy. :3

. . .

Matthew was in the middle of baking a cake when his phone rang. He jumped and hastily wiped his floured hands on his apron before picking the phone up off its hook. "Hello?"

"Hey Matty, it's Alfred! We've got this karaoke place here that just opened and it's supposed to be awesome, and you and I haven't done anything in a while. You wanna check it out?"

Matthew felt sweat break out on his forehead. Karaoke was not exactly his forté, but he couldn't turn down a chance to hang out with Alfred. "Uh, sure. What day were you thinking?" He held the phone between his neck and shoulder and started to measure out the vanilla. 1/4 teaspoon. . . .

"How about tonight?"

Matthew almost dropped the teaspoon. ". . . Tonight?"

"Well, yeah! I'll pick you up 7:00 and we can grab burgers on the way."

Matthew heard him start to hang up the phone. "Wait!" he cried. "What should I wear?"

"Oh, just jeans or something. It's super casual. See ya." Click. Bzzzzzzzz. . . .

Matthew sighed and hung up the phone. He had been planning on doing other things tonight, but there wasn't anything he could do about it now.

Four hours later, Matthew's doorbell rang. He had eventually decided on a dark red sweater, a t-shirt, and jeans with one ripped knee. He wondered if it was too casual, but he figured it would be okay. Alfred had stressed the "casual" part, after all.

When he opened the door, Alfred gave him a characteristic grin and a "Hey Matty." He was wearing black converse, jeans, and a sweatshirt. "Ready?"

"Hey," said Matthew. "Yeah, all set." He felt a little sick. Alfred wasn't really expecting him to sing, was he? He closed the door behind him, locked it and followed Alfred to his car.

"You'll love this place," Alfred was saying. "It's going to be a ton of fun."

"Have you ever done karaoke before?" Matthew asked as he got into the passenger's seat in Alfred's jeep.

"Well yeah! At birthday party's and stuff. It's super fun and way easy. Everyone else sounds like an idiot too, so it's not embarrassing at all."

Somehow Matthew doubted that Alfred had ever been embarrassed in his life, but he didn't say anything. He was actually feeling very relaxed by the time they got there. Alfred had put him in charge of holding onto the drinks and fries while Alfred took care of the burgers. They managed to get all the foot and drinks inside without spilling anything ("Are you sure we're allowed to bring food in here?" – "Yeah, of course!") and found an empty table. Strangely enough, most of the tables seemed to be occupied by couples, but Matthew tried to ignore them.

"Ah," said Alfred as he slid into his seat. "Nothing like a hamburger, right Matty?"

"Right," he said, working his way through a bag of fries.

Just then, a high-pitched screech came from onstage. "Hello folks," said a voice. "Y'all ready for some karaok-ee?"

"Woo!" said Alfred with his mouth full of hamburger, pumping his fist in the air. Other people started cheering too. Matthew looked around idly. The place was packed.

"So who wants to start off the evening?"

Oh no.

"I do!" cried Alfred, jumping out of his seat. Matthew suddenly felt very, very small.

"Okey dokey, then come up here and pick your song." The mic screeched again as the man holding it put it in the mic stand. There was a thump as Alfred vaulted up onto the stage, and then the mic bumped around a bit as he worked it out of its stand. Matthew averted his eyes. This was going to be awful.

The music started: Teenage Dream by Katy Perry. Matthew didn't know it, but it sounded like it was a teenage girl pop song. (He was right.) At the beginning it was kind of slow and didn't seem so bad. There was a bit of an intro, then:

"You think I'm pretty

Without any make-up on,

You think I'm funny

When I tell the punch line wrong.

I know you get me

So I'll let my walls come down, down. . . .

Let's go all the way tonight,

No regrets, just love –

We can dance until we die,

You and I

We'll be young forever. . . ."

Everyone had to be looking at him, wondering who this crazy guy had come here with – because with his luck, this was going to be the one time people would be able to actually see him.

"You make me

Feel like

I'm living a Teenage Dream.

The way you turn me on,

I can't sleep;

Let's runaway

And don't ever look back,

Don't ever look back."

Matthew felt himself slowly turning dark red. Who did the audience think he was singing to, anyway? Why couldn't he have chosen a normal song, about non-romantic things?

"I might get your heart racing

In my skin-tight jeans,

Be your teenage dream tonight

Let you put your hands on me,

In my skin-tight jeans,

Be your teenage dream tonight."

Oh God, kill me now, he thought, and slid as far down in his seat as he could. Alfred was definitely dancing onstage and pointing out his own pair of skinny jeans. Luckily, it wasn't much longer until it was over, but as far as Matthew was concerned, it should have been over before it started. When Alfred sang the last word, he pumped his fist in the air. Everyone clapped loudly and Matthew definitely heard a few catcalls. He let himself cover his eyes briefly with his hand, trying to block it out.

"See, wasn't that fun?" asked Alfred, slapping him on the back and sitting down in his seat with an extra swing in his hips.

"Can you please not sit next to me?" mumbled Matthew with his hand over his mouth.

"What?" asked Alfred, leaning closer and offering his ear.

Matthew put his hand in his lap and smiled weakly. "I said, you sang really well."

"Well, I don't know, but it was fun and that's what counts, right? Do you want a turn? I can probably grab a spot for you –"

"N-no thank you," said Matthew, going pale.

"Aw," said Alfred, looking at him closely with concern in his eyes. "You don't look so good. Do you want to leave?"

"W-well, we can stay a little longer." Can we please, please leave?

"Hey, whatever you want."

"Then, can we leave?" Matthew was whispering, but Alfred read his lips and figured it out.

"Yeah, let's get going." He stood up and stretched. "That was a good dinner." He grabbed all their garbage and dumped it in the trash on their way out. They passed through the door and Matthew immediately felt much more relaxed. He liked the feel of the fresh air on his face. Alfred held the door open for him and Matthew clambered in. Alfred started up the engine and pulled onto the road. "Happy birthday, Matty."

Matthew started and felt himself blushing. He clutched the leather seat. "You – you remembered?"

"Of course." Alfred laughed. "Am I really that bad a brother?" He reached over and ruffled Matthew's hair.

Matthew laughed too. "Of course not." You're the best brother.

"So what were you going to do all alone tonight before I called? You didn't say you had other plans."

"I was going to eat cake with Kumajiro. I baked it this afternoon."

Alfred looked shocked. "By yourself?"

"Who else would I eat cake with?" He smiled sadly.

"You could have called me."

"I figured you were busy. I didn't want to bother you." Matthew's voice was getting quieter with every word.

"Matthew, that would never bother me."

"Okay." Matthew smiled down at his lap. "Would you like to eat cake with me?"

"Hell yeah!" Alfred looked at him and slung an arm around his shoulders.

I'm so happy Alfred, thought Matthew. I wish I could tell you that. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, lil' bro."

- Fin -