Disclaimer: I do not own anything remotely having to do with Stephenie Meyer's world of Twilight

[This takes place at the end of Eclipse, after Bella walks out of Jake's room after telling him her love for him wasn't enough.]

Affinity

Chapter 1—Silent War

I shut Jake's door as quickly as I could because I could feel what was coming on and I didn't want him to see it. I tried to take the first step away from him, but I fell backward into his bedroom door, and slid to the ground. I covered my face with my hands and let the tears flow freely. What was happening to me? I had made this decision. There was no turning back. I knew who I couldn't live without.

"Bella?" I heard him call uncertainly. I childishly clamped my hands over my ears. I didn't want him to speak. I didn't think I could stand hearing his voice. It made me question the affirmation I had made—that I couldn't live without Edward. Jacob was right. I had never tried. Not that I ever wanted to face that again. On the other hand, though, Jacob would be there to keep me whole. He was always there. He had just told me he would take me even as a vampire, for God's sake! I tried to organize my thoughts. From past experience, I had determined that I couldn't live without Edward. But what on Earth had made me think that I could live without Jake? Was I going crazy? I had to pull myself together.

I heard a scream muffled by a pillow, something that sounded like wood splintering, and a shuddering intake of breath. I tried to commit every ounce of will I possessed to moving. I knew that if Jacob knew my decision hadn't been as clear-cut and as easy as I made it seem, it would hurt him even more than the heart stomping-on I had just dished out.

I didn't know how long I sat there, because time seemed to stop moving, but eventually, Seth came to check on Jake, and almost trod on me, the hopeless lump who was still collapsed against the door.

"Bella!" he exclaimed with surprise, a concerned look coming across his face.

"Shh!" I hushed him hysterically. It was too late—I heard a groan from Jake's room that had nothing to do with his resetting bones. Seth held out a hot hand to me, which I gladly accepted, and because I wobbled as he set me on my feet, he escorted me out to my truck.

"Can you make it home?" he asked. He was being too kind to me too…He should hate me for what I did to Jacob! I gritted my teeth and replied, "yes."

He watched me drive off with a wary eye, and I concentrated on breathing evenly. It helped that I knew what was waiting for me at home. Or did it? Is it who I wanted to be waiting for me tonight? Or every night for the rest of my life? I knew the answer to that at once. The answer was that I wasn't sure. That scared me even more than deciding so easily that I could leave Jake but not Edward. Had I really once thought that? The memory seemed to be dim, a million years away. The misery was just starting to overtake me again when I pulled into Charlie's driveway.

Thank God he wasn't home. Edward sat at the kitchen table, unmoving. When he saw my face, he immediately embraced me. It felt triumphant. It was too cold, and I shivered. He felt the tears drop onto his arms and his embrace became cautious.

It was a while before he spoke, giving me time to prepare for the question I knew he would ask. "I can't have you experiencing this much pain," he whispered into my hair. "If it's going to cause you this much despair, don't you wonder if it's the right choice?"

I only cried harder. He consoled me though I had no right to be treated that way. "Bella, love, I've told you. If this is what you need to be happy, then I'll let you have it. It's what I wanted in the first place, anyway. Though I never, in a hundred years, thought I could know loss like this. You haven't even said the words and I already feel it."

His voice wavered. I felt the guilt stabbing at my insides again. The grief sounded wrong on Edward, and it made me sad as well. But I froze when I realized something pivotal. While his pain made me feel sad for him, Jacob's pain actually caused me immense pain. I had walked away from Jacob. He would never be whole again. Although I had told him he would find another girl someday, I knew those feelings would always eat at him, as they would me. If I walked away from Edward, he would also be left broken-hearted. But that's just the thing: his heart didn't beat. He might always be able to think about what we had, but he would be able to go on with life as normal, at least after a while. And that's exactly how long he had to move on: a while.

I took in a shuddering breath and pulled away from Edward's grasp to look in his golden eyes. Before I had a chance to say anything, he knew. The look that marred his features agitated my stomach.

"I understand, Bella. I'm more well-suited to deal with this, anyway. I will be diplomatic about this as I promised. But remember that as long as you live, I will always be there, ready for when his humanity causes him to err."

"Edward," I managed to mumble, swaying on the spot, "I'm not making any decisions tonight."

He smiled that godly smile that now had anguish diluting it. "No, but you will."

My legs gave out under me once again, and he was there in an instant. Everything was blurry, and I wasn't sure if I was facing up or down, but I knew that cold hands carried me up to my bed and brushed across my lips. The last thing I heard was, "I love you, my Bella. Good bye." And everything went black.

Not what you expected at all, right? I mean, nobody's ever written fanfiction about Bella and Jacob after the events of Eclipse…hehe. I know it's pretty common, but I have been connecting with their potential story more and more, and something came over me. I just need to write this!

For the record, I am an Edward fan, I just fall in love with Jacob every time I read NM. Don't hate :)

I know it's short, but I had to get it out there. Expect more soon!

Another short note: the rating is at T for now, but may go up to M, depending on where I decide to take the story and the responses I get from my readers!