It's so cold here.

I should probably say where here is.

I must be honest…I'm not sure.

We were just dropped off seven or eight days ago
after a somewhat vague briefing.

I can just say we're in the mountains somewhere.

The past few days were spent hiding out, showing
ourselves long enough to cause a problem for the
enemy, and then disappearing into the woods again.

You probably want to know who I am as well.

I am a member of the SOS Brigade.

No…

…it's not as exciting or interesting as it may sound.

The Secret Operations Service Brigade is only a long
winded name for the expendables.

We go into the war-zone to make sure it's safe for
the infantry.

Kind of like sending a person into the mine shaft to
make sure it's safe for a canary...

...I digress.

There are five of us hunkered down by the side of the
road in this God-forsaken ditch: two sergeants, a
corporal and two privates. We each have our
weapons and a pack with our bedrolls and various
pieces of field equipment.

Right next to me is Sergeant Itsuki Koizumi; our point
man and a smug bastard that I wish would sit a little
further away.

Then there's our forward observer, Private Mikuru
Asahina; shy, frightened, and kind of cute, if I may say
so off the record. I hate watching her struggle with
that radio, but I would be even more worried to see
her with a rifle in her hands…

…for the sake of her, and our, safety.

A little further down from me is our fearless patrol
leader; Sergeant First Class Haruhi Suzumiya. She's
the only person I could ever imagine being excited
about what we do.

Maybe Haruhi is just too hard-headed to understand
that war is not as romantic as people believe…

…or that we were sent here to die.

Maybe she's a little crazy as well.

Funny how I can consider her the crazy one out here.

"Kyon! Quit spacing out. What's wrong with you?
If you don't pay attention we could be found. No
wonder you're still a private."

You guessed it. I'm the other private in this group of
the damned.

No real area of expertise, just the rifleman of the
group.

Maybe even the only voice of reason.

I suppose I should be grateful that Haruhi didn't make
me the sniper. That kind of responsibility would have
killed me.

Speaking of which…

There she was.

Corporal Yuki Nagato, resident sniper, was sitting
further away from us with a book in her hands.

Nagato…Bookworm Nagato…One-Shot Nagato…

She's the only person I know who would pack a book
in lieu of extra ammunition or rations.

I had tried to explain to her back at base that she
would want all the supplies out here that she could
get, but she just looked right past me and walked
away.

I couldn't just let her go without so I carried her extra
bullets.

She knew better then me I suppose.

One week out here and she hasn't even asked me
for them.

She knew how many rounds she would need.

I really wish I had those spare rations right now.

There were only a few pages left in her book and it
seemed as if she was hurrying to finish it tonight.

I don't think anyone else would have noticed the extra
diligence in her reading if they had not known her
normal pace as I did.

I could barely see her eyes through the glare her
glasses produced.

How can she even read in such dim light?

The full moon illuminated the earth just enough for me
to make out our surroundings but there's no way I
could read anything out here.

She closed the book and looked up at me.

As if questioning her actions for the first time, she
hesitantly held the book out for me to take.

What am I supposed to do with this?

It was just as I tucked it into my pack that I heard
them…

…the sound of soldiers walking quietly along the road
while pushing their jeeps in neutral to avoid detection.

I heard Haruhi click the safety off her rifle and she
moved into a readied crouch. The smile she wore was
imbecilic.

Are you crazy? There's no way we can take them.
There has to be at least fifty.

"We can't just let them go Kyon. What kind of soldier
are you?"

A living one. And I would like to stay that way long
enough to get out of here.

Luckily, the look on her face told me that she agreed
and Haruhi relaxed.

Every now and then, she can be reasonable.

I thought they had passed.

I thought we were safe.

The sound of rounds being chambered and the sight
of gleaming barrels pointed at us told me otherwise.

Five soldiers pulled us out of the trench one by one
and searched us for any hidden weapons, but they let
us keep the entrenching tools that were hanging from
our belts.

"Hey, we found her!"

They seemed particularly happy when they saw
Nagato.

That rifle was her death warrant.

Why didn't I switch with her?

Why didn't I think to trade weapons?

We were all pushed deeper into the woods and forced
together under a tree…

…except for Nagato.

Two of them dragged her off into some bushes.

I could hear her uniform tearing and, from the corner
of my eye, I could see them push her onto her back.

No! What are you doing?

"Shut up! Sit down."

"Take me!"

What are you doing Haruhi?

"She didn't make a shot that I didn't tell her to. It's my
fault. Take me."

Haruhi is a lot of things; selfish, foolhardy,
thick-skulled, idiotic, and sometimes just stupid…but
she cares about us deep down.

Another soldier slapped her and pushed her to the
ground.

"You can be next if you like."

With a defiant scowl on her face, Haruhi glared at her
oppressor.

I would steal glances over to where Nagato was
whenever I thought I could.

With every grunt he made I saw her legs lift off the
ground slightly.

I think I'm going to be sick.

One stood up and fixed his uniform and the other took
his place.

Those bastards!

This is just some leisure time for them.

The first rejoined the group and another left to await
his turn.

This happened over and over until four of them had
had their way.

"Have another go," their leader told them.

So he wasn't going to do it.

What…is Nagato not good enough for you?

Apparently she was too soiled for use now and they
picked her up and pushed her against a tree where
they took to using her as a punching bag.

The only sound in protest she made was from the air
being forced from her body.

"That's enough. Bring her over here."

They forced Nagato to walk from where she was to
join us. Her trousers were still open and they slowly
fell down around her ankles. Her uniform blouse was
torn and her undershirt ripped and ragged.

During her punishment, Nagato's glasses had fallen
from her face and I could see what had been hidden
by those clouded windows for so long.

Her eyes said nothing.

There was no sign of embarrassment or pain.

She had the same emotionless manner as always.

Nagato looked up at their sergeant who towered over
her.

He held the rifle in front of her face as if to rub her
nose in it.

"You didn't even have any bullets left."

Why didn't you tell me Nagato?

In one quick motion, he struck her with the rifle butt
and she fell to the ground.

"Get up!" he said while giving her a kick in the ribs.

Obediently, she rose to her feet.

"You've been quite a nuisance to us. I'm only sorry
that I can do this once."

She looked over to me.

For a brief moment, Nagato and I locked eyes.

I had never looked into her eyes.

They were empty and cold but also full of unknown life.

Though they lacked all emotion, they made me feel
what I had never felt before.

They made me feel disgusting and holy at the same
time.

They were a void that drew me in.

I hated them and yet I never wanted to stop starring
into them.

Standing there, in her torn uniform with bruises
beginning to form on her stomach, the open top
graciously concealing her breasts, blood and semen
dripping down her legs, her hair dirty and mussed, a trail
of red running down the left side of her face, and her
eyes like ice on fire, she was the most beautiful creature
I had ever beheld.

The pistol was placed against her left temple and he
pushed on it a little, forcing her head to tilt slightly to
the right.

Nagato blinked twice and then exhaled for the last time.