Title: Four Times Puck Was Afraid and One Time He Was Terrified

Rating: a high PG

Pairing: Puck/Kurt

Genre: Angst/Romance

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author Notes: This was written for the prompt on this prompt of the fic meme "Puck is afraid of many is afraid of insects, he is afraid of thunders, he is afraid of not waking up, he is afraid he is not going to see Beth again and he is afraid he will never be able to tell Kurt how much he loves him."

Summary: Puck is afraid of many things, but he is terrified of only one thing.

Word Count: 1,327

"Hey Puckerman!"

Eight year old Noah Puckerman turns around when he hears his name and grumbles when he sees who it is. It was Dave Karofsky and some of his other punk friends. The two hadn't gotten along ever since Puck had pushed him over in gym class during a game of kickball. It was a complete accident and could have been avoided if Karofsky was paying attention and had moved out of Puck's way, but nevertheless that wasn't the case.

"What do you want?" Puck shouts back to the boy. He wasn't scared of him.

Karofsky and his friends walk closer to Puck and stop when they are about a foot apart from him. Puck stands his ground.

"I heard you've been talking about me." For an eight year old, Karofsky was pretty tall. He stood at least a few inches taller than Puck and the rest of their class. Some of the kids called him Bigfoot behind his back.

"And what if I was?" Puck challenges.

"Well, then I say that I would do…THIS!" With that Karofsky pushes Puck hard and the boy lands on the ground flat on his back. Puck is about to get up and punch Karofsky in the face when he feels something tickling his face and arms. He brings his arms in front of face and he sees a bunch of red fire ants crawling all over them. He looks down and notices that the ants are crawling all over his body.

Puck quickly gets up and runs to the nearest teacher, trying not to cry. He's supposed to be tough and tough kids don't cry. As he is running, he hears Karofsky shout something along the lines of "Puckerman is pansy!"

At the age of thirteen, Puck had already made himself known as the resident badass at his middle school. Karofsky still gives him crap, but not as much since now they are on the same "side" of the social ladder.

Even though Puck is a complete badass, it didn't mean that he wasn't afraid of anything. This is why he is currently hiding underneath his bed waiting for the thunderstorm to pass.

He doesn't know why he's so afraid of thunderstorms, but he knows that whenever there is one he turns into a big baby and just wants to hide. It's always harder when he's at school and there's a storm going on. He has to pretend that they don't bother him and laughs at the other people who are freaking out.

Puck jumps slightly when he hears another loud clap of thunder. It's in the middle of the night and he knows that his mother wouldn't like it so much if he woke her up wanting to crawl in the bed with her. So he just stays still under his bed hoping for the skies to clear soon.

When Puck is fourteen he gets news from his mother that one of his cousins has passed away. When he asks how she died, she explains that she had an asthma attack in her sleep and that her parents found her the next morning.

Every night, for a few months, after his mother told him about his cousin, he had trouble falling asleep. Even though he wasn't asthmatic he was afraid that he would go to sleep and never wake up. He would much rather be well aware when he died. That may seem messed up, but it's what Puck prefers.

Sometimes when he would succumb to the sleep he would wake up a few hours later sweating and gasping for air. He had many nightmares where he had stopped breathing and died. He never told his mother because he didn't want her to think he was crazy.

Before his daughter gets taken away from him, Puck takes out his cell phone and snaps a picture of him and her. He is smiling at the camera while his baby girl sleeps soundly in his arms, unaware that she will never get to know him.

No one knows that he took this picture and keeps it with him at all times. No one knows that he kisses it every night before he goes to sleep. No one knows that he regrets giving her away. No one knows that he's afraid his daughter will never know how much he loves her and how much he will always love her.

He sometimes dreams about what it would have been like if Quinn decided to keep her and decided to give Puck a chance to prove that he would be a better man for their daughter. He sometimes sees his little girl run up to him and hug him tightly saying in her sweet voice how much she loves him and him telling her the same thing.

He sometimes wakes up angry at himself and other times in tears of what could have been.

"What the hell is taking so long?" Puck says loudly and everyone around the waiting room looks at him likes he's gone insane. He doesn't really care.

"Puck, you have to calm down. It's doing none of us any good with you running around here like a crazy person." Burt Hummel says to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I want to know what's going on as much as you do, but we have to wait."

Puck nods and for a moment thinks how could a man who has lost his wife and could lose his son at any second stays calm.

"Mr. Hummel, it's just…" Puck sniffs, not wanting to cry in front of the older man. He has been dating Kurt for nearly a year and knowing that he could lose him just like that was tearing him up inside.

"I know." Burt says solemnly.

"Mr. Hummel?" The two men look up to see a doctor walking towards them.

"Yes." Burt says hopefully.

"Your son is going to make a full recovery. He just has a few minor lacerations, bruises and a broken arm, but he'll be ok. He's a very lucky young man. If the piece of glass that punctured his side had been shifted any further he wouldn't have made it. You can go see him if you like, but he's still unconscious." The doctor says and leaves them with a room number.

"Um…Mr. Hummel?"

Burt turns to look at his son's boyfriend.

"Do you mind if I see Kurt first? I know you're his father, but I really need to see him. I…just really need to see him." Puck looks lost and unsure and Burt just nods and tells the boy to go ahead.

When Puck reaches Kurt's room, he nearly breaks when he sees that Kurt is breathing. He rushes to sit in the chair next to the bed and grasps Kurt's hand in his and kisses it lightly.

"I thought that I'd never see you again." Puck's voice is raw with unshed emotion. He looks over his boyfriend's form and sees just how bad it is. Even though he's going to be ok, Puck can't help but to still feel scared.

"I'm sorry that this happened to you. I'm sorry that I wasn't there and that you were alone. I'm sorry." Puck brushes his hand over Kurt's face lightly, reveling in the fact that the skin was warm and alive.

"I was terrified when I got the call from your father." Puck admitted. "Most of all I was terrified that I would never get to tell you how much you mean to me and how much I love you."

"I love you so much and by me saying that you can't leave me. Not ever." Puck lets his tears fall as he rests his head gently on Kurt's stomach, enjoying the rise and fall motion of Kurt's breathing.

Puck's not sure if he is imagining it but he's pretty sure that he feels Kurt squeeze his hand.