This is a story that came to me when I was listening to a song -cliché, yeah I know.

'Out Of Goodbyes' by Maroon 5, was the song.

I had to write this, so I could get it out of my head. It was giving me a bad case of writers block.

Anyways, I should be updating my other stories soon!

much love,

~~~Carmen~~~

RPOV

Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, eleven of them. One from each royal families, excluding the Dragomir's. The judge delivered the last one.

Guilty.

That one word was ringing through my head like a clock in a bell tower; delivering a heavy hum throughout my entire body.

My fate was sealed, I was damned. I would die in 12 hours time. I was allowed 2 hours of visitor time to say my good-byes, but I declined. I had to leave them shortly, and I didn't want their last memory of me being locked in a jail cell.

No. I would not let that happen.

I wasn't sad; I was too numb to have that emotion within me. I had to come terms of my imminent death months ago.

Mikhail was the Guardian assigned to watch over me the remaining time that I had left in this world. There was also one other guardian with him. They would alternate with one another. We were walking, well, I was being led back to my jail cell.

The night air was fresh and crisp. It felt good to my skin to have the wind caress my face. It had been so long since I had had fresh air. It was intoxicating. The moon was hanging high in the night sky, with a million star's dancing and twinkling above me. I came to an abrupt stop and Mikhail turned to see what the problem was.

I looked him in the eyes and started pleading, "Cant we just sit out here for a while? No one is around." I looked just to make sure I was right. "Please, Mikhail? Just for a little while. It has been so long. So, so long. I just want to have a little peace." Tears were starting to well up in my eyes.

He looked at me with sorrow filled eyes. He had been in the process of taking me back to my cell, my brick prison. Myy living hell of a life.

"I'm sorry, Rose. My orders were to bring you right back. I am so sorry." His voice was filled with the sadness that his eyes portrayed. He proceeded to lead me inside the hell-hole. After locking the cage, he took up residence along the wall, avoiding my eyes at all cost.

The other guard came to relieve Mikhail so he could take his break. Mikhail walked down the corridor, then I heard a door slam, filling the corridor with a loud 'bang'.

None of the Guardian's that were assigned to watch over me believed that I had actually done it. None of them thought me as someone insane enough to kill their beloved Queen. All of them treated me humanely.

They would keep me updated on the latest happenings around court -and beyond. Almost everyone of them would bring me the kinds of food that I liked to eat at the start of their shift. They all offered words of kindness and encouragement. I received numerous apologies, but I knew it wasn't their fault.

Someone had done a number on me. I was going to pay the ultimate price for their horrendous crime.

I tried to look at it like as if I was being punished for releasing public enemy #1.

Victor Dashkov.

That was a little helpful, but then my thoughts went back to my friends and family. How was Lissa going to cope without me there to take the darkness from her? Will she go mad? Insane? Have to be locked in a mental ward like Tarasov in a few short years due to the side effects of spirit?

How was Adrian going to cope? Drink himself to death? Lose all touch of reality?

What about my mom? It's not like she would really miss me, seeing as she had never been a big part of my life to begin with. But still?

What about the dad that just entered my life? Would he miss me even though we hardly knew each other?

And last but not least, my mind drifted to Dimitri.

Dimitri. The man I would walk through hell's fire for.

I know he said he doesn't love me, but the signals he was giving me when I was arrested, then the hearing, told me that he really did love me. Could he move on and be happy, finally?

Then that leaves the note Tatiana entrusted to me. Who could I give it to so that they could fulfill it for me? Who would be as dedicated to Lissa like I'd been all my life? Who could I trust that greatly?

I heard a commotion coming from the office of the holding cell, bringing me out of my reverie.

"Belikov," the guard barked. "No visitors! She does not want to talk to anyone! We will honor her wish! She is, after all, one of us. She is not just some animal! She does deserve some kind of respect, you know! We will not go against her wishes. Now, please leave, before you get arrested!" The guard sounded exasperated.

There was a moment of silence, then I heard Dimitri's booming voice.

"Well, then. Arrest me. Don't you have to put me in a cell back there?"

I knew what he wanted. He wanted to get arrested so he could occupy a cell next to mine. The thought of him getting arrested just to see me brought a smile to my lips and warmed my heart immensely.

"Come on! Arrest me!" he challenged, voice sounding dangerous.

The door opened that connected the cell to the office.

"Please. Just leave. You're not getting back there even if we did arrest you. You would be held in a separate part of the building."

The guard sounded weary. Like he had be having the same conversation for hours. By all accounts he probably had. But I knew he was not going to budge on the issue. All of the guardians that I had came into contact during my stint in jail, respected me like I was still one of their peers. An equal in their eyes.

I saw that it was Hans who was coming down the hall. He reached my cell and pulled out a large key ring with a hundred keys on the thing.

"Rose, I heard you wanted to get some fresh air." He opened my cell door. He gave me a sympathetic smile, and his eyes showed grave sadness in them.

I just sat there, dumbfounded. "I, uh yeah, I did. But Mikhail said I couldn't."

It had been months that I had just been sitting in this cell seeing the cold, concrete, and metal cage. I was not allowed outside access unless I was walking to and from the courtroom. That was the only time I could be outside in the fresh fall air.

You don't know what you got till it's gone. If I would live a thousand more years I would never take one thing for granted again. But sadly, my life was on a timeline. A very short timeline that would end in just a few, short hours.

A wicked smile spread across Hans' lips. "Whatever I say, goes. And I say let's go. You and I are going to take a walk."

It was hard to wrap my head around the scene that was playing out in front of me. "Wo….wont you get in trouble?" My voice was squeaky.

He laughed a little, then beckoned me with his finger. "I am in charge of the Guardian Council. So no, Rose, I wont. Come on, lets get out of here for a little while. I'm sorry, but I do have to cuff you."

"Playing the rebel now are we, Hans?" I half heartedly joked.

He smiled, a thin tight-lipped smile, but it didn't touch his dark eyes. "Something like that, Hathaway. Now, come on. Let's blow this joint."

I contemplated what he was telling me. Some small part of me was feeling guilty for Hans doing this for me, but then the other part wanted to get the hell out of there for a little while.

"Okay," I said after a moments hesitation. I got up and walked over to the large metal door frame that was still ajar. Hans pulled out his handcuffs, and I put my hands together in front of me to give him access so he could snap them on.

I could still hear some arguing coming from the holding cell office. It sounded like there was more than one person in there arguing with the guard. I didn't want to hear anymore.

"How am I going to get past without them," I nodded my head toward the office, "seeing me leave out the door?"

Hans' face turned into a sly mask. "Guardian secrets, Rosemarie."

He clinked the cuffs and led me to a back entrance at the end of the short hallway. He opened the door that led to a garden that was almost secluded from the rest of the court. You would have to be really, really tall in order to see over the hedges.

"Seclusion, Rosemarie. All the privacy you want is right here." He swept his hands out in front of him, gesturing the garden that lay before of us.

It was a breath taking view. Flowers of every different variety were planted here and there. In the center of the rows was a fountain standing in as the focal point to this beautiful place in front of me.

Blues, reds, yellows, and purple flowers made two scattered rows; causing a pathway to walk down.

I walked over to a bench that was right in the middle of the garden. This place was gorgeous.

It kind of reminded me of an old movie that I had seen once. It was one that had a secret entrance leading to a garden that was in disarray until a little girl had found the entrance. Then her and a friend brought the garden back to life.

Hans and I sat there in companionable silence. He was just letting me enjoy the last time I would see the outside world -while still in this body. We sat there for a long, long time before I broke the silence.

"Do you believe in reincarnation, Hans?" I asked at last, dropping his guardian title. There were no need for formality now. My voice was soft spoken, and for a few minutes I didn't think that he had heard me at all.

I dragged my gaze from the winking stars and cast a glance his way. He stood there looking deep in thought. After a few minutes, he let out a deep breath, then answered.

"I do, Rose. And I also believe there is some higher power at work around us," he said solemnly.

I was flabbergasted. I didn't expect that from him of all people. What he had just said was deep. Really deep. Who would have thought that the big, rough, tough, stoic exterior, head of the Guardian Council, Hans Croft, ran that deep? Not me, for sure. I was shell-shocked.

I sat there in stunned silence watching the stars dance in and out in the distance. Every now and then I would look over at Hans.

One time I caught him wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. I looked away before I had been busted. I didn't want to put him in an awkward position; not after he had been so kind to me. So I just watched the moon and the stars, while letting the wind kiss my skin. Soaking up all it had to offer me.

And then it happened.

I was suddenly sucked into Lissa's head. Something that had not happened in a very long time without me wanting it to.

"What do you mean, 'she wont let us in?'" She was arguing with the guard on duty in the front office; Adrian and Dimitri flanking her. She was trying to get the guard to look her in the eyes. She wanted to use compulsion on him. But he was smart enough not to look either of the Moroi in the eye.

"I demand to see her! Now!" She was fuming. Her face was getting heated from the anger. Lissa was trying to push her weight -and the fact that she was a Royal Moroi- around. She was not going to take no for an answer. She was way beyond being infuriated; there was no reasoning with her in that state.

Adrian started arguing along side her. Dimitri walked out the door, slamming it hard. I pulled myself from Lissa's head. Her emotions were flying high; they were all over the place.

I wanted to get my mind off of my loved ones that were fighting to see me. But first I had one thing I had to take care of.-

"Hans, can you do a favor for me?" I asked, taking a deep breath, trying to relax a little.

He looked at me with sorrow filled eyes. "Yes, Rose, I will."

I pulled out the letter that I had received from the queen with trembling hands.

I had put it in another envelope that was sealed so he could give it to Dimitri. I didn't want him to have it till my execution was over. I didn't want him to start in on the whole, this-can-save-you,- bit. That secret had to stay that way. A secret.

I knew I could put my trust in Dimitri to do what must be done.

I also knew he wasn't one to open his mouth to anyone. So yeah. If I could trust anyone, it would be him. I had also left him, Lissa, and Adrian a note in it. One last goodbye.

"I need you to give this to Dimitri for me. Can you?" I looked up as he approached me.

He walked up to me with his hand outstretched toward me.

"Yes, I will. Don't worry. I'll make sure he gets it," he said softly. This was a new and rare side of Hans Croft that I'm sure not many people had seen before. The softer side of him.

I nodded my head in thanks. "I put my nazar and my chotki in there too. Can you make sure that Lissa gets those for me?"

He nodded his head slowly. "Yes, don't worry about it. I got it covered for you."

Just then, I heard a sound coming from behind me, and by the look on Hans' face, he did too. Hans gasp, and I turned to see what was going on. Just as I turned I saw Dimitri part one of the hedges and walk through it.

My eyes widened in shock. No, no, no. I didn't want this to happen! Shit!

"Roza." His voice was soft; so was his facial expression. He looked pained, grief stricken. He slowly started approaching me. Hans kicked into action, placing his body between Dimitri and me.

"Leave, Belikov. Now!" Hans barked.

I stood up and walked to Hans' side, resting one of my hands on his shoulders. "No, it's alright. He's here now. I will talk to him."

Hans looked at me like he was asking 'if I was sure.' I nodded to him, then he backed up to the doorway again, giving Dimitri a pointed look.

He was trying to give us as much privacy as he could with the little space he had to work with.

"Roza, my sweet, sweet Roza." He closed the distance between us in just a few strides. He enveloped me into a strong hug. "I love you so much. I cant lose you. I cant. I wont!" I let him hold me so he couldn't see the tears that were betraying me. They were starting to fall down my cheeks, leaving wet streaks on my face.

He held me for a long, long time. Not as long as would have liked. Say like the rest of my life long. We were just standing there with our bodies pressed firmly against each other.

"Dimitri," I murmured into his chest. "I love you, too. I always have and I always will. But you do need to move on with your life. For me, please? Just live a happy one. One filled with peace." I could feel his tears falling into my hair. I didn't move, and neither did he.

"Oh Roza, I am so sorry I lied to you. I love you with every fiber of my being. I would die for you. I need you!"

I pulled out of the embrace, leading him to a grassy opening in the garden, and we sat down. I laid back, looking upward at the rising sun, feeling it's warmth brushing my face.

Dimitri followed suit, and laid down beside me, putting his arm around my waist; snuggling me closer to him. There was not even enough space between us to fit a hair; I was not complaining about the nonexistent space.

He was holding me tight, like I would just vanish if he didn't. And I was holding on for dear life -so to speak. We sat there in silence. We didn't need any conversation to portray how we felt, our soul connected just that deeply.

I don't know how long we lay there, I had fell asleep in my love's arms. His heartbeat had lulled me into a deeply welcomed slumber. One that I had not had in all the months that I had been locked up. One that I had welcomed with open arms.

When I woke, Dimitri had his face buried in my hair, silently crying. His shoulders were slumped into me as they shook violently. I stayed there holding him wordlessly. I didn't know if he knew that I was awake or not. If he did know, then he just didn't care if he cried in front of me. I wanted to comfort him, just hold onto his warm body.

It felt good to have him hold me again, even if it was only for a little while. Unmasked tears flowed freely down my face, causing wet tracks as they did. I didn't want to appear weak in front of anyone, but something about being with Dimitri made me not care about my reputation so much. I was expressing my sorrow over losing him -not my life. I had come to terms of losing my life months ago. I had never come to terms with losing the love of my life -and I knew I never would.

The sun was up in all it's glory. I felt Hans' approach from behind me. I knew my time was over. Hans had given me the best gift possible. He had given me time with my soul mate.

Time. It is priceless, yet it is free.

I had remembered that saying from something I had heard in one of my class's at the academy. But, time wasn't free to all of us. I was about to pay the price that cost me that very thing.

More time to breath.

More time to be with Dimitri.

More time to find the real killer.

More time to find Lissa's sibling.

Yes, I was about to pay for it with my life.

"Rose," Hans spoke from right behind us. He had been standing at the door the whole time I had been out here. "Rose, It's time to go. I'm sorry," he said gently.

Dimitri growled. Litterally. "No! No, you aren't taking her." He was on his feet in a flash. "You will not take her from me!"

I stood up beside him and rested my palm against his cheek. "Take care of yourself, please? And take care of Lissa for me, too." There were tears falling from both of our eyes. "I have to go. I love you, always, always will. Remember that. I love you." I reached up and brushed my lips with his.

He wound his hands around my waist, pulling me to him in a bone crushing embrace.

"Roza, I cant lose you. Not when I just got you back. I am so sorry that I took you for granted for so long. I love you so much," he whispered.

His voice was hoarse from crying. "I love you. I cant lose you. I need you to survive." He took my lips with his own, and filled them with passion. My whole body heated up from my head to my toes.

These last few hours with him had been bittersweet. I cherished the love he had bestowed on me. He would always remain the love of my life. Remain the love of my whole existence.

I broke the kiss and looked into the depths of his eyes, brushing my shackled palm against his cheek again once more. "You will go on, Dimitri. You will go on for my sake. I love you," I whispered in my own broken voice.

I had a river of tears flood my eyes, threatening to break forth at a moments notice. I didn't want to leave him with that image of me.

"Good-bye, my love." I stepped out of his embrace, leaving him standing there sobbing, and joined Hans again.

With one last look over my shoulder, I saw my Russian God crumble.

His knees gave way and he hit the ground, writhing in agony.

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~~~Carmen~~~