Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. Just messing around.

Posting: Basically when inspiration strikes. These are all little self-contained stories; it's not like I'm writing a serial suspense thriller. If there's a gap of months and months, there shouldn't be any problem. So, ya know, just read and laugh and enjoy.

Note: If there's anything in particular that you want to see or some particular author's style you want me to try and imitate, leave it in a review or PM me, and I will do my best to oblige you.

And so, without further ado, here is the beginning of the collection.

The Perfect Hat

Neal was sad. "I have lost my hat," he said to Peter.

Peter said, "Your hat is silly. I am glad you lost it."

He even stuck out his tongue! Peter was Neal's good friend, but sometimes he forgot his manners and was very rude.

"I am not glad!" Neal said. "That was my favorite hat! You are being mean!"

Peter sighed. "I am sorry. You are right. Well, we do not have cases today. You should buy a new hat. I will go with you."

They went to a store that had many, many hats. Neal put on a big, floppy hat covered in wax fruit and fake flowers.

"Is this my hat, Peter?"

"No," said Peter. "That is a silly hat."

"But you said that my hat is a silly hat."

"That is a silly hat, but that is not your silly hat."

"Oh," said Neal. "You are right, it is not my hat. But it is so pretty! May I wear this silly hat?"

"No, you may not. Everyone at the FBI will laugh at you, and that will make me sad. Put it back."

Neal put the hat back. Then Neal put on a baseball cap. "Is this my hat?"

"No, that is a baseball cap."

"But I like baseball."

"Yes, but a baseball cap looks silly with a suit, and you are wearing a suit."

"That is true. Goodbye, baseball cap."

Neal put the cap back, but then he found the prettiest hat he had ever seen. It was a silly beanie with red, white, and black stripes. It had a propeller on top. He put it on. He hit the propeller with his finger and made it spin. He smiled in the mirror. "Peter, I have found my hat! Look how well it goes with my tie!"

Peter shook his head. "No, no, no. Neal, you must stop being so silly! That is the silliest hat I have ever seen! Put it back, and we will find your hat."

So Neal put the beanie back. Peter and Neal walked into the clothes shop next door.

The man at the desk said, "May I help you?"

"My friend has lost his hat," Peter said. "He needs a new one."

"I have the perfect hat for your friend," the man said. "It is called a fedora. It is a beautiful hat. Come with me."

The man brought them to the back of the store. He used a long stick to poke a hat that was hiding on top of a very high shelf. The hat fell down, down, down ... and Neal caught it. He put it on his head and looked in the mirror. He was very happy.

"Peter, this is the perfect hat. I have found my hat."

Neal was right. The hat looked very good with his suit.

"Yes, Neal, you have found your hat," Peter said, and he was happy, too.

Neal paid the man at the desk for his hat. The man cut the tag off, and Neal put it back on. The sun was shining, and Neal and Peter left the store and went for a walk.

"Thank you for helping me find my hat, Peter," said Neal. Then he scratched his head. "Peter, I wear this blinking light on my leg. You always know where I am. You did not have to come with me to look for a hat. Why did you come with me?"

"Because I am your friend," said Peter.

THE END