Battler Ushiromiya to Beatrice Golden What in the freaking purgatory is this?
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Beatrice Golden Ah, Battler… I see you finally found the courage to use the little gadget I left in your room earlier… I'd say, I'm impressed. I thought I'd have to wait another eon until you regain your annoying self.
Well done. *claps*
Battler Ushiromiya Again, what the hell is this?
Beatrice Golden Why, this is facebook!
Maria Ushiromiya Kihihihi~ Battler is so stupid he doesn't know facebook.
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Battler Ushiromiya Oh great! Dishonor the dead! Now you use my cousin to hurt me… Not gonna work. I know your tricks now! I'll admit that your annoying self matched hers, but she is dead!
I don't want to hear you use magic to revive her. Sock it up.
Maria Ushiromiya …
… Uu… Maria… annoying?
Eva Beatrice I believe I speak on behalf of all witch exist AND the Ushiromiya family when I say…
YES YOU ARE ANNOYING!
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Maria Ushiromiya Uuu... Is that so? Is that so, Beato? U... Maria is sorry...
Beatrice Golden Of course not! Maria is not annoying at all! That little purple troll is. I mean, even George hates her! There must be some kind of magic involves for that.
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Eva Beatrice HEY! George loves me okay? I'm his mother. It's unwritten rule that all kids love their mother! That's why he always does as I say!
Beatrice Golden Yeah, and the fact that you killed him AND his fiancé will make him love you even more.
Gretel Scarlet the reason it's unwritten is because it doesn't exist. I believe you can say 'George hates me' in red. Maybe you can even say 'Everyone hates me' in red.
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Lambda Delta …. Who in the freaking hell are you?
Maria Ushiromiya Depressed because of the latest revelation, uuu… TTATT
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Beatrice Golden Okay that's it. You're moving with me to Golden Land.
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Frederica Bernkastel to Gretel Scarlet Explain why you're here.
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Gretel Scarlet I want to join the convo. I don't think it's breaking any rule.
Frederica Bernkastel I suppose not. The name is a problem though.
Gretel Scarlet What's wrong with my name?
Frederica Bernkastel It's too obvious.
Gretel Scarlet if he can figure it out on his own, I'm not breaking any rule. If you don't like it, it's your problem.
Beatrice Golden Oh I assure you, Lady Bernkastel. That idiot Battler won't even realize this red haired girl as his you-know-what even if she told him his deepest darkest secret.
Lambda Delta HIS WHAT? TELL ME! I WANNA KNOW!
Beatrice Golden See? Even his guardian doesn't get it.
Frederica Bernkastel … whatever
Gretel Scarlet … I hate you.
Beatrice Golden Oh, I love you though. You're another amusement in my boring long life.
Gretel Scarlet I'm tired of your love mumbo jumbo. Shut the hell up.
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Lambda Delta CAN SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER ME?
Beatrice Golden Well dear, I must say… You need to love me more. You won't be able to see Battler's incompetence without it~
You're as good as blind.
Frederica Bernkastel … shut up.
Beatrice Golden Oops ;p I leaked off a clue. How silly of me~ Kyahahaha~
Lambda Delta CAN YOU ALL PLEASE STOP IGNORING ME?
Lambda Delta to Frederica Bernkastel OKAY I WANNA KNOW WHO THIS GRETEL GIRL IS! TELL ME!
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Frederica Bernkastel stop using caps lock. It's annoying.
Lambda Delta fine! Now tell me! You're too protective of her!
Lambda Delta for the love of the fragments, tell me she's not your new girlfriend!
Frederica Bernkastel she's my piece.
Lambda Delta really? Phew! Hey, wanna come to my place? I'm holding a tea party~
I have wine, spicy candy… you know, your favs.
Frederica Bernkastel sure. I'm bored anyway.
Lambda Delta oh oh! And after that, we can have barbeque! I have this feeling we'll have meat to grill later.
Frederica Bernkastel okay I guess.
Lambda Delta you know, I kinda miss our last game… Wanna ruin that kid rika's future?
Frederica Bernkastel whatever you say
Lambda Delta whatever I… really? Will you be my girlfriend?
Frederica Bernkastel Don't push it.
Lambda Delta whyyy? I've been nice to you, right? I've changed! I know! You like this gretel kid huh? Tell me the truth bern!
Frederica Bernkastel she is a great piece
Lambda Delta OAO you do! You like her! I'll fucking kill her! How dare she steal away my bern from me?
Lambda Delta … waaait… I know… hehehe… bern~ let's make a deal~ if I can trick her into killing herself, you do anything I say for a day. How's that sound?
Frederica Bernkastel she's smarter than you think
Lambda Delta and I'm more awesome than you think~ come on~ just one more bet before the next game start?
Frederica Bernkastel … fine. You lose, and you'll guarantee your own failure.
Lambda Delta deal~ I win, and you sleep with me. Look forward for it, bern~ ;D
Gretel Scarlet does it ever occur to you guys that I can read all this?
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Battler Ushiromiya Just read all convos. Sick of witches. They only spout out nonsense.
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A/N : Facebook fic is on the rage nowadays, and I wanna make one for umineko fandom. Let's just pretend Beatrice left Battler a laptop that runs on magic, okay? No humans, just witches and furnitures. Well… can't say for later chapt tho.