"First I'll gab him by the scruff of that skinny, louse neck of him. Then I'll lift him up over my head, and bash his stupid louse brains against a brick wall."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. After that, I'll grind that smirking face into the dirt, until his mouth is so full he's choking."

"Really now? Go on."

"And then, when his face has turned blue, I'll… are you laughing at me?"

Tanaka Tom almost stopped in his tracks on the dark Ikebukuro street, the knowing grin immediately leaving his face. The man next to him, his employee and his friend, was normally the silent type. However, after being treated to a couple of drinks (even if they were the kind that only his sister would be caught dead ordering), even the feared Heiwajima Shizuo was bound to loosen up a little. But that didn't mean that his temper wasn't still just as deadly or short as it was when he was sober.

"I mean it, Tom. You don't think I'm serious, but one day that annoying flea is going to meet his demise. And I'm going to be the cause."

"I believe in your sincerity, but you've been telling the same tale ever since I hired you. Face it, Shizuo. If throwing a dumpster didn't work the first time, it's not going to work the seven hundredth either."

Shizuo cracked his knuckles. "So what? You think I can't take him down?"

"No. Just that maybe you should try a different tactic." Tom wasn't really sure why he was letting himself get drawn into this previously one sided conversation. Still, it did pain him to see the suffering that the man they were talking about caused his friend. Shizuo was a good guy, and he had enough troubles to worry about without an outside instigator. "Why not beat him at his own game? Dig up a little dirt on the almighty Orihara Izaya."

The duo stopped at the intersection where they were to part ways.

"You mean… like information?" Shizuo studied his employers face with a hard to read expression.

"Why not? He's a shady guy. There's got to be something out there that he doesn't want others to know." Tom turned and gave a little wave over his shoulder. "Think about it."

Shizuo silently watched Tom's back as he disappeared into the night, before heading in the direction of his own humble apartment.

Late the next morning, the former bartender could be found in West Gate park, pushing his glasses as far up the bridge of his nose as possible. Inside his head he was repeatedly bestowing curses upon his current situation. Damn Tom for not cutting him off last night. Damn him for running out of coffee on a morning when he was particularly hungover. Damn the sun for shining, children for playing, and the birds for singing.

And a very special damnation for whoever it was that had just grabbed his hand and tugged him with all their might in the direction opposite from which he was heading.

"Shizuoooo-san!" The tall blonde turned around to face the daring culprit. She was a mere high school student, with braided hair and round glasses. Behind her stood an almost perfect replica, sporting a shorter haircut and staring timidly at the ground.

"… what is it, Mairu?" He had nothing against the twins, really, but their presence couldn't help but bring to mind a certain Shinjuku resident who he would love nothing more than to drown in Tokyo Bay. Thus, he always had to make a conscious effort to repress a subtle twinge of anger whenever he first glimpsed their presence. It was just bad luck on their part that they ended up with that pest of an older brother.

"Shizuo-san is a big meanie!" the more vocal of the pair huffed. Her sister just gave a small nod, still not making eye contact. "To think that Yuuhei-san was doing a photoshoot in Ikebukuro yesterday, and Shizuo-san didn't even have the decency to tell his biggest fans!"

Shizuo sighed. "You guys can't go bothering my brother while he's at work. Just stand in line at his next signing with everyone else."

"Stupid." Shizuo raised an eyebrow at the blunt remark that came from Kururi.

"Kuru-nee is right!" Mairu said with a wide grin. "Shizuo-san can't honestly think that we didn't find out on our own. His cooperation would make things sooo much easier, but we saw our dearest Yuuhei-san anyway." She fished a cell phone out of her pocket, shoving a blurry picture of what Shizuo assumed was Kasuka as close to his face as she could reach.

"Well, good for you guys then." He really couldn't see the value in a photo where his brother's facial features were barely distinguishable, but whatever floated their boats. Something small caught the light of the sun, drawing his eye away from the screen.

"… that's cute." He said, touching the small puppy cell phone charm.

Mairu beamed. "I know, right! He gave Kuru-nee one too!" She nudged her sister, who silently held up a matching phone. Hanging off the side was a tiny kitten.

"He?" Shizuo immediately withdrew his hand.

"Iza-nii, of course!"

The blonde's eyes narrowed. "I hope he isn't trying to draw you guys into whatever dirty games he's playing now."

Kururi tilted her head in confusion. "Present."

"Did you guys have a birthday?"

This time Mairu mimicked her sister's gesture. "Our birthday was four months ago."

Shizuo scoffed. "Then he's definitely trying to bribe you to do something. Watch out."

"I wish!" Mairu sighed and stuffed the phone back into her bag. "Iza-nii makes everything so boring. It's always 'Don't touch that file.' and 'Get off the chat room.'. " Kururi gave as enthusiastic a nod as Shizuo ever suspected he would see. "He'll never let us do anything interesting!"

"Don't look too disappointed. Your brother doesn't exactly run a respectable business. He's probably just trying to pro... protect… " The blonde trailed off, and then let out a weak little chuckle. The rusty cogs in his head had started to turn, and Tom's voice from last night was echoing in his ears.

"Why not beat him at his own game?"

Shizuo broke into a wide grin as Mairu snapped her fingers in front of his face. The only feeling he was used to associating with Izaya was hate, and it was all he was ever shown in return. Their emotions ran so strong that it was difficult for him to even comprehend someone actually liking that despicable man. And in all the years he had known Izaya, the only interest he had shown in another person was for his own personal gain in the end. Though the twins were his younger siblings, the same as Kasuka was to him. Maybe it wasn't too much of a stretch to assume that the louse had some semblance of the feelings that Shizuo felt for his younger brother. They could bond in some weird freak show of an Orihara family reunion from time to time.

"Shizuo-san's boring. Let's go, Kururi."

"Hey, wait. Could you guys follow me for a second?"

"Late."

"It'll be worth your while. I promise." This seemed to peak the twins interest.

Perhaps this time that damn flea was finally going down.