OKAY! So I was listening to some music and this great idea hit me! To write a Harry Potter fanfiction, and what better kind then my favorite Smart:slytherin:harry fanfic? You know one of the ones where he actually knows someone is manipulating him the whole friggen time and he gets sick of it and takes control of his own life? As Per my style, it will be a song-fic-story because it's always music that inspires me… hopefully not all chapters will have to have the lyrics of the songs, but instead be titled after the song names.

Pairing: Eventual HP/DM
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the songs I may use in this fic!

Italics: Thoughts

Chapter One: Bleeding is a Luxury

Harry Potter had a lot of time to think about a few things… Like how he was treated, how he was or was not missed, and how everyone for some reason expected him to defeat the greatest Dark Lord in history… by himself. Granted, he wanted the Dark Lord dead just as much as the next guy. Harry just couldn't see why it should rest upon only his shoulders to rid the world of the annoying bastard. His sixth year in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would be different from all of his others, perhaps for only one reason.

Harry was ready to do things his own way, the rest of the wizarding world be damned.

I've talked the talk I've walked the walk
It's taken ten fucking years,
For them to see I don't need their approval

Sitting in Dudley's second bedroom, Harry made up a chart of a few things he needed to consider before he went back to school. Like whom his real friends where, what he really needed to be doing about his life and what exactly Dumbledore was trying to do with him. Knowing some of the answers to these questions would be hard on him, Harry reminded himself that after Sirius's death some things needed to be re-evaluated.

As Harry's mind to wandered he thought of a few more reasons as to why he should be changing the way his life was going. Looking around the room he started to really take notice to some of the more Slytherin aspects of himself… He was becoming more and more reclusive, and despite all of the Gryffindors he lived with Harry had always been a stickler for cleanliness… Ron, Seamus and Neville tended to just throw things about, as well as most of the other Gryffindors he knew. The Slytherins tended to be a bit more classy, always keeping things tidy and neat. Where as Gryffinors knew nothing of true hardships or higher expectations, the Slytherins came from darker backgrounds and never truly had any control over their own lives or the molds their parents wished to place them in. Perhaps the Sorting Hat had been right after all.

Picking up the Marauders' map, Harry turned his mind to his parents, and Godfather. Ever since his beloved Padfoot had fallen through the veil Harry hadn't been the same… His friends not being very understanding had told him to cheer up, and were always sure to condemn him for allowing himself to fall into that morning process. Sometimes that's just what a person needed, was to fall into that darkness, a sad loneliness just for a little while. To allow themselves to actually heal, sometimes the best thing to do was just take a moment and remind yourself of the ones who had been ripped form your life due to this war. If only to be able to completely move on. But no, even that was ripped away from him. Something as simple as being human and showing something other than the pure emotion of happiness was denied him.

I've paid the piper, I've stayed my course
Lived chomping at the bit
with only blood, sweat, and tears to adhere to

As he went back to his chart of things to do, Harry wrote down his idea about getting a resorting. Did they actually do that? He was the Boy-Wonder, perhaps Dumbledore would once again bend the rules for him. There were some advantages to being the famous Harry Potter. Along with the new sorting, the young Potter always had people who would bend over backwards to help him with anything he wanted. Some people, he assured himself, where actual friends, while he knew others just wanted to be around for his fame. As this thought came to mind, he included the fact that if he was not in the correct Golden Boy attitude everyone was sure to correct him and place him back inside his mold

Rolling up his scroll the young wizard slipped it into his trunk and sighed to his self as he heard his aunt Petunia's screech for him to come downstairs… So much for finishing Wizarding Techniques for the Gifted by Jarred Brown… He thought.

As Harry started in on his chores the young wizard became truly get sucked into his thoughts… This whole time he had been reduced to little more than a slave in the house of his relatives, with enough verbal, and sometimes physical abuse to certainly warrant having muggle children services be contacted should anyone of the neighbors have known. How much of that did Dumbledore know about? The greatest Wizard of his time, surely something like abusive relatives couldn't slip past him. As he washed the dishes, and cleaned the living room, Harry vaguely wondered the whys as to Dumbledore's actions. He had to know about the Dursley's... Even if I have never said anything, how could he have not known? Why not do anything about it? Harry couldn't quite grasp the reasoning behind such inaction. Along with Dumbledore, his friends hadn't done much either. Ron knew full well that his family life wasn't ideal, and even Hermione had at least a little bit of an idea. She wasn't the smartest witch in their grade for no reason.

Open your eyes and see, that it's so menacing
You need to realize that bleeding is a luxury
Give 'til there's nothing left, Value in every breath
You need to realize that bleeding is a luxury

The longer the young Potter thought about these things, the angrier he became. This alone helped him to come to his decision to put everything he knew to the test. Time to make sure his friends where really who they said they were… They never really paid his thoughts and intentions much mind… Actually they really didn't want to talk about anything but things of their own interest…

So was Ron really just the attention seeking git everyone warned him about. What about Hermione? Was she just being his friend so that people would accept her and not treat her differently for being born of muggle parents? His friends didn't understand any of the crap he went through… They went home to loving families who cared for and protected them. They complained about Harry's bad home life, but what had they done to help him out? A whole lot of nothing really… Other than the time the Twins came and got him during his second year, no actions had been made. The twins had at least given Dudley a hog tail, and were sure to let Harry know if anything happened to him they would gladly send him home with some new products to try out on his cousin. Was that enough to hold all of his friends close? Had the twins actions alone been enough to overlook all the times the rest of the people he loved turned a blind eye while knowing Harry was suffering? Probably not.

Take it for granted, forsake the cost,
we're a big shit eating crowd,
with only blood, sweat, and tears to adhere to

Making his decision, Harry finished his work and went back upstairs without a word. Ignoring his relatives was something he was getting really good at. Since Sirius died, he had been nothing more than a shadow in their home. Making even less noise than usual and only doing the chores assigned to him, Harry wasn't making his stay in the Dursley's home completely unbearable for them.

Making his way back to what was once Dudley's room, his attention turned back to the book on his bed, and what it had in it… Advanced spell work and theories, the book was definitely not something someone he knew would guess that he would read, let alone own. Smiling grimly to himself the young male went up to finish the book.

A few hours later Harry found himself lying down on his lump of a mattress with his list once again in his hand, going over just what he wanted to change… He knew he needed clothes that actually fit, and maybe he could do something about his eyes… Perhaps he could end all of the insults thrown his way simply by using some of that money he had. Find his way through the shops of muggle and wizarding London and help bring some pride back to the Potter name. No more looking like a filthy street rat or the dirty little orphan he was. It was time to change, attitude, appearance, and most importantly education. Everything anyone knew about Harry James Potter would need to be reevaluated as much as his friends needed the once over themselves. Harry was ready to show the world who he had truly come to be.

Open your eyes and see, that it's so menacing
you need to realize that bleeding is a luxury
Give 'til there's nothing left, Value in every breath
You need to realize that bleeding is a luxury

Once he noticed how late it had gotten Harry was sure to get ready for bed only to realize he had just enough time to ponder over some other things that were going on in his life as he slipped under the sheets… Like the fact that the one guy he fought with all throughout his years in school was probably the only person who really knew anything about the Real Harry Potter… Never once did he hide his emotions from one Draco Malfoy.

It had always been about raw anger, no masks just spontaneous action… perhaps he should start with the Malfoy heir when he started his evaluations. Harry had the feeling the one person who would pass these tests with flying colors would be the one guy who claimed to hate him most. And wasn't that just a kick in the teeth?

Every day, take your beatings
lead the way, or decay as you fall down
you fall down

Slipping to sleep Harry had finally made up his mind to test everyone he knew, not just his friends, but his professors, enemies and even the most random of students at Hogwarts to see just who cared and who was pretending. The fact that he was so eager to reveal those who were hurting him intentionally was a huge factor to his own mind on just how fed up he was with having his life planned for him.

It was time to teach everyone the lesson he had been forced to learn as a small defenseless child living under the so called "care" of his relatives. Fight until you have nothing left, and when you can't fight anymore, scream bloody murder until your voice cracked and your hands ran red with your own blood, tear down everything that you could and if there was a chance you were going to die? Do it with your head held high and fight all the more.

Open your eyes and see, that it's so menacing
you need to realize that bleeding is a luxury
Give 'til there's nothing left, Value in every breath
You need to realize that bleeding is a luxury

Keep fighting until all of your blood was wasted on the earth, because after all, you can't bleed when you're dead.

AN: Okay! So! That went a lot better than it could have! This is something that came to me spontaneously so, any ideas are very, very welcome.
~SlytherinGoddessRoseThorns