The World's Ten Best and Ten Worst

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters. Hidekaz Himaruya does.

Main characters: Prussia, Germany, France, Spain.
Minor characters: At least 20 others, lol.

Part 1: The shocking truth!

Ludwig sighed as he walked through the long hallway. He could already hear the loud voices from the regular meeting room even though it was still a good few feet away. Well what did you expect? These 19 countries, excluding Ludwig himself, had been placed without further explanation. Ludwig tried hard to remember how he got into this situation in the first place. His older brother, Gilbert, had been the one to start it all. The former Kingdom of Prussia had made a bet with his friends, Antonio and Francis, to see which country would be considered the best lover in the world. Of course only Gilbert could think up a stupid bet like this, his pride and ego ready to shine. Ludwig wondered if Gilbert would like the results he had currently neatly folded in a top secret map.

The German entered the room and looked upon the different people who were present. Good, it seemed everyone had made it. A hand appeared on his shoulder and Ludwig turned to see his smirking brother. Gilbert eyed the map in the other's hand curiously. Ludwig sighed and pushed the hand off his shoulder, too embarrassed to say a word. Gilbert was left confused and Ludwig took in his place as the self-proclaimed head of the meeting. He cleared his throat but only a few people got silent to pay attention. Ludwig waited a couple of minutes before he slammed his fists on the table.

England gave him an unimpressed look; this was how the German always started the meeting. Arthur tucked one last time on France's hair before he sat down. The Frenchman winced and raised his hand to hit the other but Arthur's siblings, Wales, Scotland and North- plus South-Ireland, interfered. With four against one, Francis knew better than to continue so he quietly sat down next to Canada, muttering about Arthur bringing the whole of Great Britain. The Canadian gave a friendly smile but was slightly shaking. The source sat opposite of him and was staring with a kind smile.

The seats besides Russia were both vacant. It wasn't surprising and it didn't bother him either. He liked to have some space for himself. He continued to stare at the Canadian, who cowered with a whimper. Ivan had already fun before the actual meeting had started. His eyes only shifted when Ludwig spoke.

"Hello everyone, it is great to see you all could come here in such a short notice."

"Speaking of short notice; would you mind telling me why I'm here with those four?"

Arthur looked quite annoyed and turned to tell his siblings to stop bothering each other. Why did he have to bring them in the first place? Normally Arthur would come along and he preferred it that way. The English man gave Ludwig a glare. It was already bad enough America was also present, slurping on his XXL diet coke. America laughed at the quarrel between Arthur's siblings but pouted as said man punched him on the shoulder.

Ludwig placed the top secret map on the table in front of him. All eyes were drawn towards it and finally it was as quiet as could be. It was time for him to announce the thing he preferred to never speak a word of. A blush appeared on his cheeks which intrigued all the nations.

"You're all here because I have some very important news to announce which involves all of you who are present."

The German opened the map and Gilbert's smile grew wider. Ludwig took out a few papers and prepared himself for the worst.

"These are the results of an international poll. This can be an eye-opener for us and it might be so that female travelers judge potential new lovers by looking at these results. This is for the increase of, mainly female, tourism of our countries. Nations with bad results will be told the opinion on the general women so they can improve."

"Hah? I can't remember agreeing to any of this!", said a confused Denmark.

"It's a poll about the ten worst and 10 best lovers in the world! Kesesese..", Gilbert replied with a smug smile.

All was quiet until soft murmuring started. Netherlands and Sweden abruptly stood, both preparing to leave the room. Denmark laughed and tucked at Sweden's jacket. Netherlands was already half way when a tanned hand placed itself on his chest. The Dutchman looked down upon a head with black hair. The head was leaned backwards and an broad smiling Spain looked up at him.

"Where are you going, Holandia? Now's not the time for a smoke, you know."

Netherlands scowled down at him and tried to yank the Spaniard's hand off his chest. Antonio swiftly stood and pushed Netherlands down on his previous seat. Netherlands looked surprised at first but quickly recovered to glare. Antonio winked down at him, knowing his speed was superior than that of the Dutchman. Turkey grinned at him from the opposite table and asked if the Dutchman had anything lose. He could feel Antonio's hands taking a tight grip of his shoulders. This would probably not be the best moment to anger the Spaniard and so Netherlands stayed put with a scowl on his face and crossed arms.

In the mean time Denmark had convinced Sweden to sit back down.

"Come on, Berwald! Aren't you even a bit curious about the results?"

Denmark's smile was mirrored by Antonio, Gilbert and Francis. The trio knew they who was responsible for this unusual meeting and they were anxious to know who had won their bet. All eyes were back on Ludwig as he absentmindedly stared at the list in front of him. The blush on his face had darkened and spread across his whole face when he noticed everyone was staring.

"L-Let's start with the ten best lovers.."

"Aha~ That's no fun! I want to know which of us is the worst first!"

Francis smiled brightly and eyed Arthur. Thick brows knotted together as England glared at him. He felt as is the Frenchman was up to something and he would most certainly figure it out by the end of the meeting. Ludwig seemed nervous but it seemed everyone was agreeing with Francis' suggestion. And thus the list began.

"Placed 10th upon the list of worst lovers is.. Russia. It seems most find you.. too hairy."

Ludwig felt a stream of sweat run down his face as he locked eyes with the smiling Russian. The Italian brothers had a hard time controlling their laughter. They wanted to laugh, but were afraid of the terror Ivan would bring upon them if they did laugh. The other nations kept quiet and Gilbert mentioned nervously for his brother to continue.

"A-ah, right. Placed 9th upon the list of worst lovers is Turkey. People claim you're too sweaty."

Netherlands smirked upon Sadiq's shocked face. He chuckled softly together with some of the others. Sadiq glared fiercely at the Dutchman and pointed at him, yelling at him to not get cocky.

"Placed 8th upon the list of worst lovers is Scotland. They find you too loud, apparently."

Ludwig looked at Arthur's sibling who didn't seem to be very affected by the accusation. Scotland knew his voice was louder than most, but no complaints had been made during the actual act. And therefore Scotland shrugged it off without a word.

"Placed 7th upon the list of worst lovers is Wales. Hm, you're too selfish."

Wales glared and wanted to make a cocky remark, but was smacked by Arthur who hissed for his sibling to be quiet.

"Placed 6th upon the list of worst lovers is … Greece. Too lovey-dovey. I didn't know that could be a bad thing though."

Greece looked up from the table he was lazily staring at. The Turk next to him patted him on his head, reassuring him that there was nothing wrong with his ministrations. Questions popped up in the other nations' minds upon hearing Turkey's words. Could the Turk have experienced these ministrations himself?

"Placed 5th upon the list of worst lovers is America. It says you are too rough."

Alfred grinned and laughed as if proud of his results. Canada blinked at his brother in confusion, wondering why Alfred wasn't defending himself. Memories of Alfred and Canada playing catch came into Matthew's mind. The Canadian started to nod; America was indeed too rough.

"Well, placed 4th upon the list of worst lovers is Netherlands."

"HAH! Who's laughing now, Holland? You're even worse than me, HAH!"

Sadiq had stood up from his seat and laughed at the Dutchman. Said man sighed slightly, disappointed with himself. Antonio, who was still standing behind him, smiled and asked why Netherlands was placed fourth. Germany looked back down on the list and replied.

"Netherlands is too dominating."

The disappointed Dutchman actually had to smile upon Ludwig's words. He had to agree and suddenly looked rather pleased. Sadiq frowned and sat back down unhappy to see the other actually enjoying his place. Gilbert rolled his eyes, impatiently tapping his fingers on the table. He yelled for "West" to "continue already, geeze".

"Placed 3rd upon the list of worst lovers is Sweden. People find you too quick."

Berwald blushed slightly as the Dane beside him began to laugh. Denmark wrapped his arm around the other and whispered something in his ear which only made the Swede blush even more. Berwald decided a punch in the face was in place and so the Dane tumbled backwards, holding his bleeding nose. No one bothered to help the Dane up for he was still laughing loudly. Pain never had much influence on him.

"Placed 2nd upon the list of worst lovers is England."

Francis giggled and swayed his hand at the muttering Arthur.

"You're too lazy."

Those words made the proud England stand up and slam his fist upon the table. His face turned red and his mouth opened but he felt so much rage that no legible words came out. It took all four his siblings to control him and get him seated again. This was probably the only advantage of the presence of Arthur's siblings.

Gilbert laughed at the struggling mass which resembled Great Britain. This meeting was so much fun! But he couldn't wait to see which place he and his brother held. It was probably one of best lovers so it would still take a while. Gilbert crossed his arms with a determined but smirking look on his face. He had to have patience before he could exclaim his awesomeness and push it in everyone's face.

Ludwig stared at the list and felt extremely uncomfortable. He had to do it. All the others had to withstand the same so far. Gulping hard, he raised a hand to cover his face before he spoke.

"Placed 1st upon the list of worst lovers is… is.."

Ludwig turned his head slightly and gave his brother an embarrassed look. The other frowned at him until realization dawned upon him. He stood and yanked the list from his brother's hand, staring at it with widened eyes.

"G-Germany..?"

Notes:
"Holandia" means "Netherlands" in Spanish.

A/N:
I had so much fun writing this. Simply because it's amusing me to no end that women find Russians hairy and Germans smelly, whaha! I have nothing against Russians or Germans myself btw.

Um, so this is kinda based on a survey I found on the internet in which 20 countries were listed as the 10 worst and the 10 best lovers. I'll give you the link in the second part or else it will ruin the fun of the story, lol.

You may expect at least 4 or 5 more parts of this story, unless I will cut them and make a sequel to this one, who knows. Enjoy.