A/N: Set after episode 2x08 "Rose". Beta'd by my lovely bff stephie8869. Thanks sys! Any further mistakes are all mine, because I tinker with things. *wink*
Speechless
My mind was reeling, but I still managed to catch the fluctuation of Damon's pupils. I was looking at him so intently that the slight flaring of engrossing black in the middle of his piercing grey-blue eyes seemed very obvious to me. Like a footstep on a creaky staircase in the dead silence of the night, you wouldn't notice the noise… but if you were standing right there, equally silent and waiting for the sound, it would ring out like thunder.
Sight and sound are very alike. I was so stunned by Damon's confession that everything came into very sharp focus. Every stir of the air, every quirk of his brow, every movement of his lips… I memorized them all in an instant. I could feel his cool kiss on my forehead still, felt the urge of the compulsion to forget it…
But I remembered his words. I remembered the raw look on his face. I remembered that single tear that spilled down his cheek.
Damon was gone before he realized I was holding the necklace I had given to Caroline before she was made vampire. She certainly didn't need it anymore, and had delivered it to Jenna before I came home.
Odd as it was, I was glad I had it. Damon didn't want me to forget his confession and, if I was completely honest with myself, I never wanted to forget it for as long as I lived.
As I sank down tiredly to my bed and grasped the vervain necklace that had been invisibly attached around my neck, I let Caroline's fall from my hand to clatter on the floor.
I didn't know what to think… but if Damon, the most self-centered person I had ever met, could be honest with not only himself, but to me... I could certainly do it too.
Somehow I knew he was waiting outside in the darkness. The dense clouds threatened the town with a downpour, but I knew he was there. I had to be strong. I had to as honest with him as he had been with me, even if he thought he had erased my memory. I might be confused and reluctant, but I had to make my point as well. I leaned down and scooped Caroline's necklace from the hardwood floor.
I walked slowly to the open window, and pushed apart the curtains that were billowing in the growing wind. "Damon? Are you here?"
In a flash the elder Salvatore was through my open window and smirking. He had his façade firmly in place, snarky eyebrow and all.
"Elena! What dire emergency has you calling me into your bedroom tonight?" He sauntered toward my bed in his typical, arrogant fashion. I didn't say anything, just looked at him. Damon flopped messily down on my comforter, grabbed my teddy bear, and got comfortable, smiling all the while.
I stared at him and didn't say a word. Damon's undoubtedly expensive black button up rode up a bit over the waistband of his tight pants, displaying the cut muscle of his defined hip. That muscle called to me, and I adored it for more seconds than I should have… as someone who didn't want him. Right.
Damon noticed my wandering attention. His ego must have taken a brief vacation, as he didn't accuse me of ogling him, which would have been true for the first time. Instead the gorgeous vampire flashed over to me and lifted my chin. His strong fingers turned my face this was and that, looking for injury or possibly madness, but he kept a friendly distance.
"Elena tell me what's wrong." His voice had its usual hard demeanor, but I could see the emotion he felt for my wellbeing in his striking eyes.
So I did what I had to do, what I needed to do. I made sure I had Damon's absolute attention, and then I grabbed his hand and brought it to the locket fastened around my neck. I pressed his fingers lightly to the chain so he wouldn't be injured by the vervain, before slowly moving our intertwined fingers to his cheek. I cupped my warm palm against his face, and held his hand over mine.
Damon's eyes were dancing and bright, confused. It was my turn now. I flicked my gaze down to my left hand and back, indicating that he should look at my closed fist. And then I opened it and tipped it over.
Caroline's necklace fell to the floor with a dull clink of dainty metal. The play of emotions across Damon's face was so swift I almost didn't catch it; from confusion, to fury, to understanding, to wonder, and then to hope… Hope. I knew I was making the right decision when I saw hope in his eyes as he finally looked at me.
"You had that before…?"
I waited a moment for him to speak again, but a moment was too much. "Yes I did. I remember", I whispered. "You didn't take it away from me."
"Then you heard me say it? I didn't mean for you to. It will only cause you pain."
"Yes I heard you, Damon, and I'm glad I had that necklace. You would have erased those memories, but if I've learned anything about compulsion it's that it doesn't erase the feeling."
Damon isn't too good with feelings, at the very least with expressing them. He tries to pull away.
"No Damon! You had something to say to me. You didn't want me to remember it, but I do. And I have the right to say something to you too."
Even with both of my hand holding his cheeks, Damon still looked at the floor. Elena is a little disheartened by it…
"Damon? Damon look at me. Fine, don't! But I love you too, you idiot! That's all I wanted to say, and you ruined it!"
The vampire face I held in my hands froze. In stop-motion he looked up and met my gaze.
"You don't mean that, Elena. What are you and my brother up to now?"
"No. NO, nothing… what do you have that I would want other than… you? You thought you needed to compel me so that I would believe what you said, and then you wanted me to not know you had ever said it. I can understand that, I think. But I don't have that luxury. Unlike you, I'll just have to bite the bullet…" I took a slow, deep breath.
"I love you, Damon."
For the first time since I met Damon Salvatore he didn't have one snarky, self centered, egotistical thing to say… he was speechless.
Yo: Who else is hoping Elena remembers it somehow? At least she should have the impression of Damon's speech - as Jeremy said, "You thought you took it away, but the feelings were still there. I just didn't know why." (paraphrasing lol) What do you think will happen? :)
