Title: Make Me Whole

Pairing: Butters x Kenny

Raiting: K+

Author: Crazyneko09

Disclaimer: I don´t own the characters in this story.

Chapter: 10

A/N: I'm sooooooooooo sorry for not updating earlier. You guys are great, your kind comments were what made me continue this story after all. Thank you :)

Butters POV:

There are goosebumps all over my arms when I open the door.
I nervously take a deep breath before giving the open door a push.
It doesn't' squeak like in the movies. I glance behind me, just to make sure that there's no scowling Cartman or anyone else standing behind me.
I'm beyond scared when I enter the room and take a first glance inside.
But my fear soon turns into disbelief when I see the stuffed animals lying on Erics bed and notice the blue walls and the flower bouquet on the windowsill.
The room doesn't represent the impression that I have of Cartman at all.
There's a huge TV-screen and a computer on a desk, there are energy drinks lying around the room and I even spot a knife, but I also see the green frog that is staring at me from across Cartmans bed.
There is a small smile on my lips. Cartman can't honestly still be playing with stuffed animals.
"So after all you're just a normal human being too, huh", the words leave my mouth without thinking.
But I realize that they are true. Deep down inside even Cartman must have a good side…even if he doesn't show it.
But then why is Cartman always this angry with everyone? Why doesn't he stop the act and just be ….nice?
Yeah, like that's ever going to happen, I think.
I'm just about to walk out of the room when I notice a red book lying at the end of the bed.
It looks used, some pages seem loose, their edges hanging out of the book.
Slowly I take a step forward. Uh uuuuh.
The word diary is printed onto the cover.

IIII

(Back to Kenny and Kyle, remember they were in Cartmans living room ;) )

"We should probably get going. Cartmans mom is going to be back in about 20 minutes", the red haired teenager said, collecting all the used cans on the ground.
Even though Kyle had said that he wanted to pay Cartman back for what he did, he just couldn't leave the room looking like a mess.
It wouldn't be fair to Miss Cartman, she was already working late and whenever Kyle had seen her come home, through Erics window she had looked so exhausted and small.
Kyle had never asked his boyfriend about his mothers job, had never asked if the rumors were actually true. He didn't dare. Of course Liane had never known that Kyle was sleeping in her house, Cartman had made sure of that.
Their relationship was a secret, nobody could know about it. But eventually people had found out about it and Cartman had made them believe that their relationship wasn't based on feelings.
Back then Kyle had thought that he'd only said that, because he felt exposed.
But now he wasn't so sure anymore. Maybe he has played me all along, Kyle thought bitterly.
"I'll fetch Butters".
"What?", Kyle asked taken aback.
The blonde teenager gave Kyle a sad smile, "Don't force yourself Kyle, there's no need to play tough".
"I'm not acting", Kyle said halfheartedly. He felt tired, betrayed, heartbroken, but what did Kenny care? He never had his heart broken, he just fooled around with people. He didn't involve feelings into his relationships and he didn't have to feel the pain of being rejected.
"Whatever you say Kyle", Kenny said leaving the room.
Kyle signed, was re really that easy to read?
Butters had already noticed and now Kenny. What if others noticed?
They would laugh about his stupidity. And he should be laughing too.
Eric Cartman would never develop feelings for him, ever.

IIII

10th August

Dear Diary,

I kissed Kyle today. You wouldn't have believed the stupid look on his face. At first he looked shocked, then disgusted and then just plain helpless.
I was drunk you know? I don't think I would have done it otherwise.
I don't know what made me do it, maybe it was his arrogant reply, and maybe I just wanted to shock him. He is always so sure of himself, thinks he's so smart and knows people really well.
Yes, I think that was it. He said he had figured me out, that I was just some spoiled brat who wanted people to pay attention to him. God that annoyed me. He thinks he knows who I am, thinks he can make up this therapist crap. So I shocked him. Took him by surprise.
And shocked he was. Well Kyle? How well do you know me after all?

12th August

Dear Diary,

Kyle didn't tell anyone about the kiss. Clever boy. The day after, I was actually kind of nervous about what he would tell the others. Of course I would have declined it all and honestly who would have believed it anyway? But, I just didn't want Kyle to tell anyone.
This is our fight. Our battle. It has been for ages, I don't want others to interfere.
I like it the way it is.

13th August

Dear Diary,

I just came up with another plan. Oh it's going to be epic. I'm going to be the winner of this little game soon enough.

IIII

Butters POV:

I close the book. Disgusted by what I just read I sigh and sit down on the bed.
I really wish for Kyle to be happy. He is so kind and smart, how could he have possibly fallen in love with Cartman? He should have known better. Cartman is a mean asshole who only loves one person and that is himself. Still, I just can't help himself.
Kyle had sounded so wounded, so hurt. Could he have seen another side of Cartman?
One that he keeps hidden to the rest of the world?
Kyle had said something about Eric being different when they were alone and maybe, I think, as I touch the green stuffed animal on the bed, Cartman does have a…nicer side.
I really want to open the diary again, but I am stopped by Kenny suddenly appearing in the room.
Taken by surprise I let the book fall to the ground.
"Kenny…".
The other teenager just smirks at me.
"Found something interesting?".
I blush.
"I guess I'm in trouble then huh?, I say looking to the ground.
"That depends", Kenny says closing the door behind him.
I gulp, expecting Kenny to scold me.
"On what?".
Kenny turns around, a big smile on his face.
"Well I guess one kiss would be appropriate. After all I have to life with this…this horrible secret as well if I don't tell anyone".
My eyes widen. Nervously I watch Kenny get closer. I want to say something, anything, but the words won't come out of my mouth.
Kenny's face is now only centimeters away from mine. I wait.
For what, I didn't know.
Do I want to get kissed? I don't know.
Do I want to push the other teenager away? I just didn't know!
"Don't look so scared", Kenny suddenly says.
"Of course I won't tell anyone. It's not like you did anything bad".
I blink. Why did he stop?
"I …er…I shouldn't have done it", I say taken aback.
"Somehow I don't believe you", Kenny says sitting down on the bed. Waiting for my answer, he carefully takes my hand.
"I know you're angry Butters. You're hurt and yes also curious. Cartman has hurt you several times and now here you are in his room. All of Cartmans secrets laid bare to you", Kenny gives my hand a squeeze, "I won't judge you".
I look up, ashamed, not letting go of Kenny.
"I found his diary. I think he is using Kyle. He said something about a plan and I just think Kyle should know".
"Have you read the whole diary Butters, did you read every entry? I think you should", Kenny looks at me, there is a sad expression on his face.
He knows something, I think.
"Kenny…what?".
"I was friends with Eric once too you know? If you want to know the truth you might as well read his diary. After what he did today, he can't really blame you".

IIII

15th August

Dear Diary,

God this is just too easy. It's like Kyle wants to believe that I suddenly turned nice over night.
It's kind of cute how innocent his mind is, even after all those years of me tricking him over and over. I helped him today. There were some stupid boys who were making fun of his hair, they actually ripped his hat of and tried to pull his hair. I mean come on how lame is that?
So I decided to be Kyles knight in shining armor. I beat the first one, the one who tried to pull his hair, the others just left. Of course they did. Why would they want to mess with me?
I could have just told my friends to take care of the problem at hand, but it was important that it was me, who helped him, you know? He has to believe that I've changed.
The look on his face when I beat that idiot was priceless. He even thanked me afterwards.
This is going to be easy.

IIII

Butters POV:

I sign.
"Kenny I don't know what you want me to find. This is just disgusting".
But Kenny just carefully turns the page.
"Just keep reading Butters".