Hola. Hee. Dish ish chappie number four! Mrrrr. As I said before, we have someone very special in dish chappie. SHIRO-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! *squeal*

Yoruichi poofed back into human form, pulled on her clothes and prissily strolled into the now-silent computer room. She observed to two shinigami lying sprawled on the floor and foaming at the mouth.

"Get up, wusses," she commanded, prodding Ichigo with her foot, "Stop acting like you haven't imagined a lemon at least once before. The Senkaimon is ready."

Shakily, Ichigo and Rukia stirred, just as Urahara entered the room.

"You…#$%...pervert," the strawberry spat out, "Where the #$% do you come up with stuff like that? And why us?"

"D-d-#$% IchiRuki," Rukia stuttered, still recovering, "And #$% your 45,982 followers. Why must the world be filled with perverts?"

Urahara's fan slyly obscured his face.

"I have my sources," he answered, referring to Ichigo's questions, "*cough* Yoruichi *cough*. And for why you, isn't it obvious?"

The flamboyant shopkeeper was met with a pair of blank stares.

"Not a clue."

"NO."

"Please enlighten us-"

"-because we're dying to know."

They finished by concluding in sync: "Trust me."

Urahara chuckled.

"You really have no idea?" he confirmed, amused, "It's because you two are just too #$% adorable together! I mean, really. A beautiful girl, living in a hot guy's closet, unbeknownst to the rest of the family! Two people who have said on countless occasions that they would willingly give their lives for eachother! The same pair who repeatedly banter with eachother to hide their lustful feelings! You're so in tune with eachother that you even answer at the same time! And you say YOU DON'T KNOW? THIS IS A WRITER'S HEAVEN! And, of course, there's also the fact-"

"Okay, we get it!" Ichigo interjected, frantically waving his hands in the air to make him stop," Translation: You're not even a regular pervert. You're a deluded one."

Yoruichi smiled roguishly.

"Still in denial, huh?" she verified, absentmindedly twirling a lock of hair, "Thought so."

Ichigo and Rukia were portraits of fury.

"!"

"NO ONE IS IN DENIAL HERE EXCEPT YOU!" Rukia screamed, pointing a condemning finger at the ex-taichos, "Just…take us to the Senkaimon, okay?

Smiling that "you'll-see-I'm-right-just-you-wait smile that annoys the #$% out of everyone, the shopkeeper obliged, and led them to the underground training facility where the giant paper gate stood.

"All yours," he offered, taking off his hat.

Scowling, Ichigo and Rukia pushed their way past the two connivers and fearlessly leaped into the mass of reishi. After they left Urahara slung his arm around Yoruichi.

"They are just too cute," he commented, "It makes me want to write a fanfic."

Yoruichi sighed fondly.

"Everything makes you want to write a fanfic," she replied, ruffling his hair, "Looks like you could use some inspiration…"

…

Instead of appearing in the usual place, to Ichigo and Rukia's surprise they exited somewhere else: the sky about half a mile above Seireitei. #$% Urahara. They froze in place for a second, and then began their plummet. Shocked, they fell until just before they would have splatted onto the rooftop, when it occurred to them to use shunpo. (Che. Idiots.) Quickly flash-stepping away, they arrived safely on the ground.

"That…was a close one," Rukia huffed, "Got to think more.

"Yeah," Ichigo panted, "A LOT more."

"ICHIGO! RUKIA! I MISSED YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

Bewildered, Ichigo turned around just in time to be engulfed in what most people called Rangiku's Boobs of Death. (Everyone else-mainly the perverts- called them something else…)

"MMF! Matsumoto…can't…breathe…" he choked out.

Rukia watched them as an unwelcome feeling settled in her stomach. Rangiku noticed the resentful frown on the petite shinigami's face, and she released Ichigo, who immediately began gulping down great lungfuls of much-needed air. A coy smile flashed across the busty blonde's face.

"Sorry, Rukia," she apologized, winking, "I forgot that he was taken."

Rukia's cheeks colored a deep crimson.

"Oh, no," she responded weakly, "We…we're not…I…i-it's fine. I don't mind."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. And Hitsugaya-taicho is in love with Aizen," Rangiku replied sarcastically, "Seeing that you are stuck in the depths of DENIAL, why are you here?"

Ichigo scowled.

"Why is it that everyone…never mind. We're here to see Toshiro." he explained.

"Oh," replied Matsumoto in a bored tone, "Well, that's no fun. TAICHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Dead silence.

Matsumoto rolled her eyes.

"Fine," she grumbled to herself, "If he wants to do it the hard way…TAICHO! AIZEN'S COME BACK AND HE'S RAPING MOMO!"

A white-haired blur skidded into view, and stopped, Hyorinmaru at the ready.

"AS SOON AS I FIND THAT SON OF A-"

He halted, then turned to Matsumoto, his glare livid.

"Why did you do that?" he asked quietly, in a dangerously low voice.

She shrugged, unaffected.

"Honestly, I didn't expect you to fall for it again," she admitted, "But it was worth a try."

Toshiro stared at her blankly.

"And it worked too, didn't it, Rukia?" she added brightly.

Toshiro turned.

"I…you didn't see anything…" he alluded, and Rukia and Ichigo nodded hastily, "Now. What do you want?"

Rukia stepped forward.

"We need your help to check out a security risk," she explained, "It's a website called fanfiction, and-"

"OOOOOOOH," Rangiku interjected, "You know, I, uh…have to go do paperwork! Yeah, that's it! Don't bother me, or else I might stop working. I'll be…somewhere else."

With that, she half sprinted away from them, leaving an awkward silence behind, which Ichigo broke.

"Well, that was weird," he commented, "But anyways, let's just show Toshiro and leave."

Rukia nodded.

"Do you have a computer?" she asked.

Frowning, Toshiro answered, "No, but I think they have one in 5th division. We can ask Momo."

He began walking away.

As soon as he got out of earshot, Ichigo whispered to Rukia, "And he'd know aaaaaall about 5th division, wouldn't he?"

Rukia giggled. Poor Toshiro.

SO, HOW WAS IT? AMAZING? HORRIBLE? DO YOU WANT IT TO DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH? Well, whatever you think, please review and tell me!

Next chappie, we have…MOMO-CHAN!

*squeals* I can't wait. YAY HITSUHINA! ;3