Series: 25 for 25
Title: Sixteen: Lie to ourselves again…
Author: Jmaria
Rating: FR-15
Disclaimer: Joss own Buffy, Franks owns Psych. I own Nada.
Spoilers: General knowledge of both series
Series Summary: Twenty-five stories and crossings of worlds (read: insanity) to celebrate twenty-five years.
Part Summary: The Family Dinner of Doom, in which crushes are revealed and banter is exchanged.
Words: 673
Title Quote Source: The Story of by Yo La Tengo
Dedication: JediKnight for the fandoms.
A/N: Because they have to join up eventually, for the good of the cause.

25 for 25
Sixteen: Lie to ourselves again…

Shawn glowered at Xander for the better part of an hour. Not that it really did him much good. Xander was kissing butt. His own father's butt, of all the butt to be kissing.

"Play nice, Shawn," Gus muttered from beside him.

"I don't have to play nice," Shawn muttered back.

"Yes, you do, Shawn. I am too pretty to go to jail."

"He wouldn't really send us to jail," Shawn snorted.

"You don't know that, Shawn. You're not really psychic," Gus glared at him.

"He had lust in his heart for my cousin -"

"Who doesn't?" Gus snorted.

"What did you just say?"

"Your cousin is extremely attractive, Shawn," Gus shook his head at him. "You're going to have to come to terms with it one day that men are just instinctively drawn to her level of fineness."

"She's an infant, Gus!"

"I was talking about Buffy."

"So was I!"

"She's only a couple of years younger than you."

"And I am a child at heart, therefore Buffy is an infant at heart, and Dawn is but Twinkle-in-her-mother's-eye at heart."

"Wow, I'm a twinkle," Dawn plopped down beside Shawn, glaring at him. "I feel all twinkle-like."

"Aw, see, Dawnie understands her place in the universe. Why can't you, Gus?"

"Because Gus has had the hots for Buffy for the last three years?" Dawn tapped her chin, and batted her eyes innocently at her cousin.

"You - no - that's not -"

"See if I help you out next time you text me at four in the morning to ask if certain medications will react badly when mixed together."

"I only did that once!" Dawn and Shawn cried at the same time.

"Wow, you had him silent there for a whole four seconds, Dawnie. I owe you that five now, don't I?" Xander shook his head.

"We're trying to get him to verbal engage you, Xan," Dawn shook her head at him. "He's all paranoid and weird around you."

"To be fair, I'm always paranoid," Shawn tilted his head.

"No, you're not. I am," Gus snorted.

"I've heard it both ways."

"No, you haven't, Shawn."

"You do know that the two of you have a common enemy, don't you?" Dawn said loudly over the ensuing quiet-squabble that Gus and Shawn started.

"Say what now?"

"Where are you going with this, Dawn?" Xander frowned at her.

"Technically, you have two," Dawn gave Gus a small superior smirk.

"Uh-oh."

"Oh, I'm going there. Gus has the hots for Buffy," Dawn held up one finger before they could turn on Gus. "And there's a certain mealy-mouthed Detective who was scoping out her ass when Buzz gave us a tour of the precinct."

"Lassie checked out my infant cousin's ass? Has the world gone mad?" Shawn looked ill.

"That guy is just a little too gun happy for my tastes," Xander shuddered. "And he's twice her age."

"And he's Lassie," Shawn nodded.

"He wasn't very nice to my cousin."

"He's always mean to poor Buzz. Never takes him seriously, and always with the snapping!"

"Who could be purposely mean to Buzz?"

"He's a gentle giant!"

"I'm saying!"

Dawn jerked her head to the side. Gus followed her strategic exit to the kitchen where Henry and Buffy were chatting. Propping her hands on the island, Dawn grinned at them each in turn.

"So, you all owe me for making peace between our two resident men-children,' Dawn held out her hand for the ten Buffy reluctantly slapped in her palm.

"When'd you learn to be so devious?" Gus frowned at her.

"I grew up with Shawn and Xander in my life. It's survival of the fittest up in here," she shrugged her shoulders.

"By throwing them at Lassiter?"

"He could use a bit of loosening up, and Buffy could used a little freedom."

"Freedom from what?" Buffy shook her head.

"To date whoever you want without Xander and Shawn ganging up on the poor guy," Dawn gave Gus nudge. Xander wasn't the only one who saw things, after all.