Disclaimer: The great Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.

A huge thank you goes out to CherylSab, and kmah88 for reading this story and making it all pretty for you. I'd be a mess without you girls. I love you so, so much.

AN: I know this chapter is a long time coming but RL kicked my butt this summer. I'm not quite out of the woods yet but I have a bit more free time than I've had these past few months. I'm slowing working my way back into the groove of things and I'm hoping the words will start flowing again for all my stories, not just this one.

One more quick thing… remember, we're still living in Bella's memories. She'll keep us here until she serves her time in solitary.

Chapter 37 Recap: After leaving Edward, Bella spent the next month in the Nevada desert, locked up in a compound with the man who had spent the past two years helping her stay hidden. Initially, Demetri was surprised when Bella showed up on his doorstep but when he learned the whole truth of what and, more importantly, who she was running from he shared his own story with her. She was surprised to learn how similar his story was to hers, but even more surprising to Bella was his advice to go back to Edward. Demetri's history with Heidi taught him a very valuable lesson - love doesn't wait for the perfect time or place, so when it happens, when it's right there in front of you, you need grab it with both hands and hold on tight.

Bella struggled against her fear and finally realized Demetri was right. Though she tried not to, she fell for Edward and knew there was nowhere she would rather be. So she packed up her things and went home.

Now, on with the story…

Chapter 38 – Bonded In Truth

March 17, 2009

Every mile felt like a hundred but after an agonizingly long drive, I passed the Bakersfield city limit sign. My hands had been shaking for the last hour and the closer I got to Edward, the worse it got. I could barely hold the steering wheel and had to pull over to calm myself down.

Taking deep breaths, I replayed Demetri's last words in my head. He had reminded me how hard this was going to be but if Edward's feelings were anywhere close to mine, I could tell him the truth and he would stand by me. We could have an amazing life together if only I gave him a chance. But I was terrified.

What if I told him my truth and he couldn't take it? What if he told me it was too much? What if he said he didn't want to see me again? What would I do?

I loved Edward. Demetri helped me to see that. I knew it was too soon. That a month wasn't enough time to fall in love with someone, or at least I didn't believe it was, but the month I spent away from him broke me in ways I didn't think were possible. If he rejected me now, if he didn't feel what I did, if he sent me away…

There were too many questions; too many things that could go wrong. Needing reassurance, I picked up the phone and pressed the only button that could give me what I wanted.

"Bella?"

"I can't do this, Demetri. What if he…?"

"Stop," he ordered. "No what-if's, remember? He's going to love you, Bella. Don't doubt that now."

"But it's too much. How can I ask him to put his life on the line that way?"

"You told me Edward was a soldier, right?"

"Yes."

"Did a couple of tours?"

"Yes."

"Then you have nothing to worry about."

Confused, I couldn't make the connection. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Bella, if he can put his life on the line for this country, for the sake of millions of people he doesn't even know, then there is absolutely nothing he wouldn't do for the woman he loves."

"He doesn't love me, D."

"Maybe not now, but give him a couple of days."

That made me laugh. When I settled, I heard him exhale.

"Feel better?"

I nodded even though he couldn't see it. "Yeah, thank you."

"Anytime. Now, it's getting late. You better move if you want to catch him before he heads home for the night."

As we had spoken about my return, I'd told Demetri about the hours Edward kept at the gym and we timed my trip so I would arrive after Jared and Quil left so I could talk to him alone. Looking at the glowing numbers of the clock, I noticed it was shortly after nine. The gym was closed and, without me to train, Jared and Quil would be gone by nine-thirty. Only twenty minutes to wait.

"Thank you, Demetri. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here right now."

"You don't have to thank me. I'm sure you would have figured it out all on your own."

"I'm glad you have that kind of faith in me."

"You're so much like Heidi, it's hard not to." He sighed and I could imagine how much that admission hurt him. "Now get moving, Bella. He's waited long enough."

We hung up after saying goodbye and I was on my way again. Exactly twelve minutes later, I pulled into the parking lot across the street from the gym. Turning off the car, I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. I could do this. I had to because it hurt too much to stay away.

With a heavy exhale, my eyes opened and went instantly to the two big windows giving me a perfect view inside the gym. All the air left my lungs as I saw all three of them standing in the middle of the room in what appeared to be an intense argument. Edward and Jared were in it deep with Quil standing between them, ready to hold Jared back of he needed to.

They were the best of friends, close enough that Edward had called them brothers. What could have been bad enough to change that? Before I could think of an answer, Quil jumped and wrapped his arms around Edward as he took a swing at Jared.

Jared stumbled backward, barely avoiding Edward's fist before he regained his balance. One hand was clenched into a fist by his side as the other thrust a pointed finger at Edward. I could almost feel the tension from here and it made me a million times more nervous than I had been during the entire drive back.

As the miles passed, I'd let my mind wander to what our reunion would be like. In some visions, Edward was happy to have me back, holding me and kissing me and telling me that everything would be alright. Others didn't go as well as Edward had me in tears, telling me that I had broken his heart when I left and he didn't know if he could go through that again. Each scene was different but in every one there was a measure of relief coming from him as he saw me again and no matter the start, every vision ended with me in his arms. Not once did I picture myself facing the man as he was now – extremely angry and volatile. I'd never seen him that way before and it scared the hell out of me.

"I shouldn't be here," I scolded myself and tore my eyes away from the fight across the street.

Their fight proved Edward was already dealing with too much. I couldn't just drop back into his life now and expect him to be happy to see me. No, I shouldn't be here. I should wait, maybe a day or two. Allow him to calm down before I saw him again. I could find a hotel, give him a few days. It was the right thing to do.

"Two days," I breathed. "I'll come back."

Looking up, I took one last look through the windows. Jared and Quil were gone and Edward was alone, beating on one of the dummies. Even from here I could see the tension in his shoulders, the anger in his face, and my heart broke for him. He looked so upset, so troubled. I hated seeing him that way. Someone like Edward should never be so unhappy.

Two days was too long. I couldn't wait. I needed to go to him now. I had to tell him why I came back and how much he really meant to me. He might be angry, he might not want to see me, and if he sent me away, I would have to bear that pain, accept it and move away like I'd planned, but I had to try.

I looked away long enough to pull the keys from the ignition and grab my purse but when I looked again, Edward was gone, surely back in his office. That gave me the opening I needed.

Edward usually stayed hours after everyone left, preparing for the next day or putting plans together for the fighters he would work with during the week. He gave his life to this place and I knew he worked hard to stay prepared. I hated to take him away from that.

My whole plan was to knock on the back entrance door so I started the car, pulled out of my parking space and turned onto the street. I had to go around the block to get to the back entrance to the building but as I pulled up to the corner, I saw Edward's car pulling out.

"No," I muttered. He couldn't leave. Leaving would ruin everything.

I watched as his car turned to the left, driving away from me. Making a stupid and rash decision, I turned the corner and followed him. He drove through the streets for about fifteen minutes before he finally pulled into the driveway of a nice, brick, two-story house. The street was lined with cars and I had to drive a few houses down before I found a spot to park. I got out of the car, pulled up my hood and walked the hundred feet back to the house.

I jogged up to the wood-lined porch, climbed the stairs and was about to knock when I was grabbed from behind and slammed against the door. My legs were tangled up, my arms were pinned behind me, and the side of my head was pressed into the door. The way he held me captive pushed the hood over my face, leaving me blind, in pain and completely at his mercy.

"One move and I'll break your fucking neck." Edward's voice was deadly as his forearm crushed my cheek. "Who the fuck are you and why are you following me?"

He wrenched my arm up an inch, sending a shooting pain up through my neck. My scream was muffled under the fabric covering my mouth.

"Talk before I snap you in two."

His forearm shifted and I cried out. "No, Edward, don't."

"Jess?"

The pressure of his body was gone and I collapsed to the ground. He was on me immediately, pushing my hood back. Even in the shadow of night, I could see the panic in his face.

"Oh God, Jess!" His hands were on my face, my arms, my body, checking me for injuries. "Please don't be hurt." He grabbed my face. "Tell me you're not hurt."

Breathing heavy, I shook my head and a second later, I was in his arms. My arms wrapped around him, squeezing as hard as I could. He held me for several long minutes before he pulled back, looking me in the eye, a hand cupping my cheek.

"Where…" He choked, swallowing hard. "Why did you leave?"

His eyes filling with tears broke my heart.

"I'm sorry. I…" I stopped for a second before admitting the truth. "I didn't want to go."

His eyes looked even more pained. "Then why?"

"Because I had to." I lifted my hand to cover his. "Because it was too hard to stay."

Letting me go, he backed away, stood and put the length of the porch between us. His hands gripped the wooden railing, using it for support. Keeping his back to me, he spoke so softly that I barely heard him.

"Then why are you here?"

I stood and walked across the porch. From behind him, I whispered, "I had to go, Edward." Taking a chance, I slid my arms around his waist, resting my forehead against his back. "But it hurt too much to stay away."

Relief filled me as one of his hands covered both of mine and I felt the tension leave his body. I tightened my grip on him, holding him as close as possible.

"Does that mean you're staying?" His voice held the smallest hint of hope.

"I…" I hesitated. "I can't make that choice."

His shoulders dropped and he pulled my hands away from him. My heart stopped thinking he would walk away, but he simply turned, leaned against the railing, and grabbed my hands.

"Whose choice is it if it's not yours?"

"It's yours." I took a breath, linking our fingers together. "But only after you know the truth." His brow furrowed. "I never wanted you to know, but I care too much about you to keep if from you anymore."

"Jess…"

I pulled a hand from his and covered his lips, stopping his words.

"And the truth starts with my name." I took a few steps away from him, my eyes never leaving his. "Jessica Shores doesn't exist. My name is Isabella Swan and if you're ready, I'll tell you everything."

His eyes narrowed, but this time it wasn't suspicion. He looked guarded. "After all the times I asked…no, begged you to tell me, why now?"

"I need you to know."

"Why?"

"Because there hasn't been a single second since I left that I haven't thought about you," I admitted. "I never wanted to care about you and I tried so hard not to fall for you, but every day without you felt like my heart was being torn to shreds.

"I want to be here with you, Edward, but I can't be until you know everything." I swallowed past the lump forming in my throat. "And even then, it's your choice because once you know, you have to decide if I'm worth it."

"You are worth it." He closed the distance between us, wrapping me in his arms. "No matter what you say…you're worth it."

"I really hope you mean that."

He leaned back, touched a knuckle under my chin and lifted my head. His lips touched mine softly once before he pulled away.

"Jess." He stopped and exhaled. "Isabella, I wanted to go after you but I had no clue where to start. I was frantic and Ben jumped on the first plane here, thinking he could help me. But when he told me you weren't even taking his calls, I knew there was no way I stood a chance of finding you. I was lost and I didn't know what to do."

Sitting back on the railing and holding my hands in his, Edward's eyes held mine as he continued.

"I've spent the last month feeling empty. Like my heart was just gone and I didn't know how to get it back. I told myself over and over again I should just let go and forget all about you, but I couldn't. I knew it was crazy to feel the way I did. One month isn't long enough to feel so much for someone, but I fell for you. I never expected to. I tried not to because I knew deep down there would come a time when you would leave. I didn't want you to go and I hoped every day you would prove me wrong. Then you left and…"

He let his sentence die, then shook his head.

"It doesn't matter now because you're here. And I don't care if it's too soon. I don't care if it's completely crazy; just seeing you," Edward reached out to hold my face in his hands, "being able to touch you, hold you… I feel whole again."

I lifted a hand to cover one of his. "It was the same for me too. I'm just afraid after you know the truth, you won't want me here anymore."

"It doesn't matter. There is nothing you could say to me that would ever make me send you away. Being without you…" He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to mine. "I know what it feels like to lose you; I don't ever want to go through that again."

My heart swelled as a feeling of love washed over me. He wanted me as much as I wanted him and I knew then that I could trust him. I could tell him everything, give him every part of me, and it would be okay.

"Then come with me." I grabbed his hand and led him toward his door. "You deserve the truth."

Switching our positions, Edward opened the door and led me through his living room, settling me on the couch. His eyes never left mine as he crouched in front of me and placed a hand on my knee.

"Can I get you anything," he asked softly. "Food, water-"

"A beer would be good," I interrupted.

He squeezed my knee once before heading into the kitchen. I took the time alone to try and calm my nerves. My eyes clenched shut as I took deep breaths but nothing worked. My palms were sweating, my hands were shaking and my heart was beating a mile a minute. Fear was getting the better of me but before I could even think about running again, Edward was back, handing me the cold beer bottle and taking the seat next to me.

Still stalling for time, I drank half my beer in one shot. As I pulled the bottle from my lips, Edward cleared his throat.

"Before you say anything, can I ask you something?"

"I promised you the truth. I'll answer anything you want to know."

"Did you leave because of me?"

Shocked, my head snapped in his direction. His eyes were glued to his beer bottle watching his fingers pulling at the label.

"What?"

"I kept pushing and pushing even though you said we couldn't be more than friends. I should've accepted it. I should've known better. Then, when I came to apologize to you the next morning, you were gone."

"No, Edward." I reached out and grabbed his hand. "It had nothing to do with you."

He just bobbed his head as if he didn't believe me.

"Edward, look at me." I paused but he didn't move. "Please look at me." It took him a few seconds before he lifted his head. "I swear to you, my leaving had nothing to do with you." Exhaling, I added, "Not directly anyway."

His eyes narrowed again and I knew he was looking for more. Demetri's words played in my head, once again giving me the courage I needed to get through this. Linking our fingers together, I began.

"Nothing you ever did or said made me want to leave. In fact, for the first time in a long time, I wanted to make a home somewhere. And it was because of you."

"I wanted that too, Jess. I wanted to be with you. How could you just leave like that?"

"That right there is the reason I had to go. You didn't know me, Edward." Tears stung my eyes. "All I ever did was lie to you. I knew it was wrong and I wanted to tell you the truth, but I couldn't."

"Why not?"

I thought for a minute before answering. "It wasn't safe."

"Jess…"

"Isabella," I reminded him. "Well…just Bella actually."

"Right, I'm sorry." His lips twitched as if he were fighting off a smile. "That is better, by the way."

"What?" He confused me.

"Jessica never sounded quite right to me. Like…it wasn't you. Bella..." He let my name hang in the air for a second. "It fits."

His words made me smile, though we didn't live in the moment long. His next question brought me back to reality.

"Bella," his lips quirked up at bit at the corners when he said my name, "I told you I would help you with anything. Why would you think you weren't safe?"

"Not me." I shook my head. "You."

"Me?" His brow furrowed. "Why wouldn't I be safe?"

"Because…" I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly before continuing. "Because people around me tend to get hurt."

"Hurt." He repeated the word like a question.

I nodded, suddenly not ready to tell him. Edward tightened his grip on my hand.

"Please, Bella." He sounded a little unsure…worried. "Whatever it is…just talk to me."

Unable to look at him, my eyes fell to our joined hands.

"His name is James." A chill ran through me as I said his name. "And I've spent the last two years running from him."

"He's the one who hurt you, isn't he?" Edward's voice hardened.

I could only nod, blinking fast against the tears filling my eyes.

"Tell me," he demanded. "Tell me everything."

"That…" I swallowed hard. "That's a really long story."

"Hey," he lifted my chin to look me in the eye, "you can tell me. I'm not going anywhere." He tried to smile but it wasn't the normal, carefree kind he always had. This one was tighter, weighted with the anger he was trying to hide from me. Despite his feelings, his next words were spoken with an odd mix of tenderness and resolve. "I told you before, if you trust me with the truth, I'll be here to face it with you. No matter what it is, we'll get through it together."

"You really mean that, don't you?"

He held up a hand in some strange gesture. "Scout's honor."

"Yeah right." I giggled and knocked his hand down. "You and I both know you were never a boy scout."

"Seriously?" He feigned a hurt expression. "Is there anything Ben didn't tell you about me?"

"Actually, Ben tried the same thing once," I laughed a little harder this time, "but it wasn't him. This one's on Esme. She ratted you both out."

"Damn that woman," he growled.

"You honestly can't blame her, you know. That ridiculous hand gesture you two so obviously made up is proof enough. This," I picked up his hand, moving his fingers into a proper Boy Scout salute, "is the right way."

"What the hell do you know about boy scouts?"

"If I told you," I teased with a smirk, "then I'd have to kill you."

His eyes sparked as he leaned closer. "I would love to see you try."

My stomach dropped with his words. I wasn't the one who was going to try. That was why I had to warn him. Why I had to tell him choosing me was a bad idea. But to do that, I needed distance. I pushed myself to the edge of the couch as far away from him as possible and felt a pinch in my chest as I watched a frown darkened his features.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." I grabbed my beer and took another drink. "I shouldn't be joking about this, especially when it comes to your life."

"My life?" he said incredulously. "What does that mean?"

"Being with me…hell, just knowing me puts your life in danger."

Realization dawned on his face. "From that guy. James."

I nodded. "Our relationship was great in the beginning. He made me feel special, like I was the most precious thing in the world. I thought he loved me. I thought he was the one, that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, but I was so wrong.

"The James I knew never existed. Everything he ever did or said was all an act. A perfect performance played out just to lure me in. To make me fall in love with him so when the real man finally came to the surface I was already stuck in his sadistic world. He was a monster, truly evil, and he turned my life into a complete nightmare.

"In the year and a half we were together, I had more broken bones and head injuries than I can count. I spent more nights in hospitals than twenty people combined. There were so many days when I couldn't leave my house because the bruises were so bad that I didn't even look human."

I sniffed, trying to hold the tears at bay. Edward was on my side of the couch in a second, pulling me into his arms.

"God, Jess, why didn't you leave?"

"I tried. Believe me, I tried." Ignoring his slip, I pushed myself out of his embrace so I could go on. "But with James, there were always consequences."

"What consequences?" When I didn't answer, he turned my face to his. "Bella, what consequences?"

His words came out slow and careful, demanding and concerned all at the same time. I shifted my gaze down to my lap and continued.

"Early on, it wasn't even about me leaving him. It was the little things. If I came home late, if his dinner wasn't ready on time, or if he was just in a bad mood, I would pay a price. He took me to the hospital a couple of times, but, mostly, I would spend my days in bed, hurting so bad I could barely move.

"I made a few half-hearted attempts to walk away but the first time I really tried to leave him, I ran to Sam and Emily's. They're the friends I've been telling you so much about," I explained since I'd never given him their real names before. "They were my best friends. The only family I really had after my parents died. It was where I felt safe and I figured, between the two of them, and Jake and Leah, I would have been okay. I could have gotten away, but that didn't happen.

"It didn't take long for James to show up on their doorstep, begging me to come home. He put on a good show for them, pretending he was so sorry for my accident and swearing he would never cheat on me again."

"What accident?" Edward asked warily.

Exhaling heavily, I answered, "He pushed me down the stairs."

"He what! And you…"

"Edward, please," I said, losing my battle against the tears. "I'll tell you everything. I swear I will but please, let me get through this and then you can ask me all the questions you want."

"I'm sorry." He brushed his fingertips across my cheek. "Go on."

I pulled his hand from my cheek and held it in my lap for strength.

"By the time James showed up, Jake was livid and he burst through the door and attacked him. To keep with his charade, James let him do it without really fighting back. Sam, of course, broke up the fight and I made them all leave so I could talk to James alone.

"I told him that, even though I loved him, I couldn't stay with him. Too much had happened and his cheating was the last straw."

"He hit you, didn't he?"

I heard the anguish in his whispered words but shook my head and answered.

"Not then, but he threatened to kill me if I didn't go back." Edward flinched and I gripped his hand tighter in response. "I didn't want to go. Dying would have been better than living in hell with him, but he gave me no choice. If I didn't do what he wanted, he said he would kill Emily too."

"Oh God."

Ignoring Edward's reaction, I finished. "I had lived with him long enough to know he was serious. He would do exactly what he said, so I did the only thing I could to protect my friend." My shoulders dropped in resignation. "I went home."

"And things didn't change," Edward muttered without the hint of a question in his voice.

I shook my head again. "The first month after was brutal. The beatings were constant, but I learned to deal with it. Then out of nowhere he began disappearing again and I figured he found another woman to occupy his time."

"Please tell me you didn't fight with him again," Edward said, exasperated.

"No. No fighting." A small smile turned up the corners of my mouth and I squeezed his hand again in reassurance as I admitted the truth. "I was relieved, actually. The more time he spent with her meant he spent less time at home. I got my life back…for a little while at least."

I paused for a second, letting one of those long forgotten memories wash over me.

"With all his cheating, his jealousy never made sense to me. I could see it if they were just normal guys, but Sam and Jake…" My words trailed off. "Sam was as close to me as Emily was and Jake… He was the brother I never had. And they were both so in love with the girls. I didn't understand how he could ever think there was anything going on between us?" I took in a shuddering breath. "The night Jake told me he was going to propose to Leah, I was so happy for him. I rushed home so excited and wanting to share the news with James, but jealousy took hold of him again.

"I always told him he was wrong, that I never saw Jake as anything other than a brother, but he never listened. He hit me over and over again and then choked me until I passed out."

"Stop." Edward put a hand over my mouth. "Please, just stop. I don't want to hear any more."

I maneuvered my head away from his hand. "No. You have to know, Edward."

"He hurt you, Jess," he growled. "I don't need to know any more than that."

"Yes, you do! And my name is not Jess!" I snapped at him, instantly feeling bad when I saw the flash of regret cross his face.

"I'm sorry. I…"

"No, I'm sorry," I apologized quickly. "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I told you nothing but lies from the moment we met. I can't fault you for calling me by the only name you know. But Edward, I told you… I can't stay here or even think about being with you until you know the truth. The whole truth. Everything in your world and mine depends on it."

"Why can't the fact that he beat you be enough of an explanation?" Edward grabbed my face, holding it in his warm hands. "Why do you have to suffer the details to make your point?"

"I'm not trying to make a point."

I lifted my hands to cover his and pulled them away, linking our fingers together.

"Are you serious about facing this with me?"

"Yes. I meant every word I said to you," he said emphatically.

"To do that, you need to know what we're up against." I exhaled with a gust. "James is crazy, Edward. He's completely unstable and if he finds me…" I stopped, changing what I was about to say. "If he finds me with you, he won't stop until you're out of his way."

"He can come for me, Jess." Another shot of regret instantly crossed his face. "Damn it. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I grinned, but it quickly fell away when I realized what he'd said. "And please, don't say that. Don't ever say that."

"I mean it, Bella."

"No, Edward. You haven't seen what he's capable of."

"It doesn't matter. You know…"

"It does matter," I cried. "He crippled my brother. Disfigured my best friend. If he comes here… If he realizes my feelings for you…" I couldn't finish, my breaths coming too fast.

Edward pulled me into his arms again, turning us both until he was holding me in his lap. I curled into him, allowing him to comfort me. Several long minutes passed before I calmed down enough to speak.

"I'm scared, Edward."

"Don't be," he whispered, kissing my temple.

"But what if he…"

"Shhh… I'm here with you now. You don't have to be afraid anymore."

Pushing me to sit up, Edward laid a warm hand against my cheek, his thumb moving gently to caress my cheek. His eyes found mine and the look he gave me stole my breath.

"I swear I'llprotect you, Bella. Until I draw my last breath, you will be safe."

They were both hurt when Bella left but now that she's back and Edward knows the truth, there is no way he's going to let her go again. He'll stand with her and fight for her against anyone or anything that could hurt her.

As always, big hugs and kisses to each and every one of you still on this ride with me. Your support continues to mean the world to me. Thanks so much for reading and don't forget to let me know what you think. Until next time…much love to you – D