Just a collection of my version on cliche Severitus/Sevitus-like scenes in stories. Enjoy!

THE DETENTION.

*Snape enters and forces Harry to write lines, etc. He raises his hand near Harry, for some reason or another.*

Harry: *Sob* Don't hurt me Uncle! I'm sorry I ever existed, Uncle! Please don't horribly abuse me to the point of death!

Snape: What the crap?

Harry: I'm SORRY!

Snape: *gasp* Your relatives must have abused you at home. Come with me, little abused child.

Harry: YAY! *Attaches himself to Snape's leg.*

Snape: Get off me you little verm- er, angel.

THE CHOOSING OF THE NAME

Harry: What should I call you, Professor?

Snape: *Dignified* You may call me Master, Lord, Great One or Slave-driver.
Take your pick.

Harry: *Ponders* I think I'll call you Daddy! *Attaches himself to Snape's leg.*

THE MEETING OF ENEMIES

Harry: *Whines* But Daddy, does Draco cereally have to come?

Snape: I'm not your Daddy, and yes. You are my slave, do my bidding as asked. Go play in your room.

Harry: Yay! *Skips off*

Snape: Draco!

Draco: My father abused me with his pimp cane, so I came here.

Snape: Good for you! Now go along and play with Harry!

Draco: When did you start calling him Harry?

Snape: GO.

Draco: Yeesh, fine.

THE MEETING OF ENEMIES CONTINUED

*Up in Harry's room*

*Awkward silence*

Draco: Hi.

Harry: WAAHHH! DADDY! Draco's being mean to me!

Snape: How dare you insult poor Harry! I specifically told you how emotionally fragile he was, and you go ahead and do THIS.

Draco: But I-

Snape: SILENCE. You are no longer my Godson. Go rot in Hell with all the other Death Eater scum.

Draco: *Cries.*

STAYIN' AT SNAPE'S

Dumbles: The Dursleys will be taken care of. Now for the sake of having you two bond, Harry, you must stay with Snape!

Harry: But, but-

Dumbles: Wonderful! Now everyone's happy! Lemon drop?

*In the Batcave*

Snape: This is your room. you will stay here unless you are told expressly to leave. UNDERSTOOD?

Harry: Yes.

Snape: Good. *Stalks off*

Harry: *Peeks out door* Ooohhh! It's so pretty! *Goes around touching everything*

Harry: I wonder what this does? *Pours two potions together*

Snape: Potter, noooo-!

Boom

*Standing in ashes of previously torched room*

Snape: Damn you, Potter.

Harry: *Quiet*

Harry: DADDY! *Attaches himself to Snape's leg*

Snape: I hate my life.

The shortest thing I've ever done. Oh well. May add more chapters, but who knows?

I completely understand that child abuse is serious and not to be laughed at. I was just laughing at how so many scenes in Harry Potter stories about it are alike.

Doctor Pepper