I stared into a dark abyss where I found myself crying, hurting all alone with no one to notice. I pondered if what I did was the right thing even if it left me no choice but to lose my happiness. I already had no hope, no inspiration to hold on to. I was left alone, forgotten even if I gave them their freedom to love, their freedom to stop lying to themselves. I, Ruka Nogi, officially gave up on Sakura and gave her to Natsume.
Yes, you're right. The two loves of my life have finally released themselves from me. They may not have shown it but I seem to be a drag, an insulator, a block from their hidden feelings with each other. Both of them knew that it was Sakura who I love, and they never wanted to hurt me. But I never wanted to hurt them either. I did the bravest thing that I thought I would ever do: give up on her and let Natsume do the rest.
Of course, they felt bad that I told them what I wanted to happen among the three of us: Sakura to be together with Natsume and leave me alone. I told them that I was going to be all right. We all knew that I was crushing and hurting inside. But, it was the right thing to do. They both needed each other. I was insignificant in both of their lives. I was only a part of it. But, I was never really special unlike how they feel for each other.
Here I am, Ruka Nogi. Crushed and torn. Remaining as single and always will be until the day I die.
-0-
I found myself enclosed in a classroom along with my classmates – of course, with him and her. You know what I mean. We didn't know why we were there. It was past our ordinary school time. The door opened and entered Not-Everyone's-Favorite teacher – Naru.
"Good morning, everyone!" He greeted in his usual manner – gayish.
"Good morning, Sensei!" Everyone – but me, Natsume, and Imai – chorused.
He smiled widely and took a chalk between his right thumb and index finger. He wrote something on the blackboard which made everyone curious of what he was going to discuss. I placed my eyes on Koko – my mind-reading classmate – and I saw him frown, even with his smiling face. He told his seatmate, Kitsunume, on what he heard from Naru's mind. He gave out a sour look upon hearing Koko's whisper.
I looked upon the blackboard thinking that what Naru is writing on the blackboard might interest me. I slowly read each letter familiarizing myself with each word... Ro.. Me.. O... And... Ju... Li.. Et... Romeo and Juliet! It was not only I who read what was written.
"Romeo and Juliet? What is it, Sensei? Do you want us to research about it?" Our forever class representative, Yuu Tobita, asked him.
"It's not it," Koko finally spoke – in a disgusted manner, that is. He stood up and looked at each one of us. He pointed his finger towards Naru and glared his eyes upon him.
"He's going to let all of us perform in a lovey-dovey play! You are never going to take me alive!" He took Kitsunume with him and they both ran towards the door. However, as they reached the door, they heard him say:
"Stop the nonsense, both of you."
They both stopped, looking at him with horror in their eyes. He approached them in a look we are forever familiar of: the Seductive Look. It meant that he was already working on his notorious Pheromone Alice. I looked at the two once again and on their dismay, they were already affected with his alice.
"Even if you try to run away from me, nothing will change. You will still follow my orders," he said with a somewhat frightening tone. "Now, do you or do you not want to join the play?" He added.
"We... want... to... join..." The two unconsciously answered.
"That's good. Then, go back to your seats while I tell you more about my plans."
The two went back to their seats while Naru went back in front.
"Who else does not want to join the play?" He asked with a dark aura surrounding him. Of course, no one answered him. Everyone was too scared to even dare have a taste of Narumi's pheromones. All of us had no choice but to do what he wanted us to do.
"Naru still doen't change, huh," my seatmate told me.
"Yeah," I told him showing him a fake smile. "You're right, Natsume. He still does not change."
I avoided his eyes to hide the hurt in me. I still cannot let go of the trauma that just happened a few days ago. I shook my head hoping to stop feeling bad for myself. I tried to bring my senses on Naru to find means to forget everything that has to do with Natsume and Sakura.
"You all know that the School Festival is fast approaching and every year we hold events such as school plays. As what Kokoroyomi-kun had said, all of you are going to perform in a play. I will be your director. And you will be performing the famous Shakespearean masterpiece: Romeo and Juliet."
As what I have expected, girls started to look my way. Each one of them wanted the role of Juliet in the play. No one dared look at Natsume's way, of course. Everybody already knows what's going between him and Sakura-san. Lucky him. I mean really lucky him. I don't want to flatter myself, but it is now the truth: Because Natsume is already taken, I am now the only one who will be the girl magnet of the academy. And this fact never made me happy. It was okay when I still had Natsume with me. We protected each other in various ways just to survive a day of stampeding fan girls. Now, I am all alone. And no one is going to protect me from anybody anymore.
"To fulfill the success of the production, of course, we need actors for the said play. I have already decided on the roles for each and everyone of you. We'll start with the most important characters of the play. The stars of the show... The one who is going to portray the role of Romeo is..."
I closed my eyes knowing whose name it is who was going to be mentioned.
"...Ruka Nogi."
I knew it. It was already obvious who was going to portray Romeo. Well, every year I am the one who portrays every main role in every school play. My part as Romeo was inevitable. Almost every girl in the classroom giggled as they heard my name. They started to pray that they will get the part of Juliet. I, on the other hand, wished for Sakura to get the role. However, I know that it couldn't be possible. Natsume wouldn't allow it to happen.
"And the one who will portray the role of Juliet is..."
What am I thinking? Why am I hoping it is her? It's not going to happen. It's not...
"...Mikan Sakura."
Did I just hear right? Is it true that Sakura is going to be Juliet? My Juliet? I smiled deep inside, happy of what I just heard. But, then my happiness started to crumble when I looked at Natsume. He glared at Narumi with that Oh-No-She-Won't look. The latter, of course, understood what his glare meant.
"I'm sorry. I think I made a mistake. Mikan-chan won't play Juliet. She will be Juliet's nurse. So, I guess Ruka-kun's leading lady will be..."
That's it. My world totally crushed. I was hopeless. I will be spending the rest of my time with some unfamiliar girl. I will be performing with her on stage. I dug my face in my hands thinking that the world really does hate me. I widened my sense of hearing, somewhat curious of who might be my "leading lady" on the play.
"...Hotaru Imai."
I removed my face from my hands, and I felt myself gaping my mouth open. Imai? As Juliet? It's not possible! I cannot imagine her saying those overly creepy lines that Juliet is going to say. I could puke and laugh at the same time just thinking about it.
"I accept if you are willing to pay me," she said in a monotonous tone.
"We always pay for our performers," Naru answered.
"Then, it is a deal." she accepted.
I can't believe it. Imai accepted. What happened to her? What made her accept the role? I just sat silent not believing of what just happened today. I couldn't imagine any more strange things to happen today. I guess this is a start of my new life. My life of total loneliness and strangeness.
"Ruka-kun, Hotaru-chan, come with me later after the meeting, okay?" Naru asked.
Yup, I was right. This is the start of a new life. A new but scary start.
-0-
Footsteps echoing back and forth was audible in the almost empty room. It was only Naru, I, and Imai inside. I looked at the person pacing back and forth in front of me. I could almost puke thinking of the fact that I will be staying for a few more hours with him. I looked at my seatmate looking blankly into space – which I guess she was thinking of a new invention to invent – and not minding of what was happening around the world she was in. Juliet... Hotaru Imai as Juliet.. I almost wanted to scream. Me? With Imai? I don't think so. Why did the world hate me so much? Why am I suffering so much? Is my heartbreak a few days ago not enough? I wanted to die that very moment.
Then, there was a momentous silence. Naru afterward began to talk.
"Because I have told you your roles, I know you already have an idea of what kind of characters you will be portraying. We just finished discussing about the tragic tale of Romeo and Juliet a week ago in our English class, so there is no doubt that you already know your characters."
I just kept silent, knowing that this was going to be a long day.
"So, Ruka-kun," he continued. "You will be starring as Romeo in the play. This is a copy of your script. I expect that you will memorize your lines after a week."
"Whatever." I took the papers with a hint of hesitation. I looked at the pieces of paper in my hands. I admit it. I have always loved this play – not because I love Shakespeare. But, because I have always imagined myself being Romeo and Sakura as Juliet. Imagine. Us in a tragic love story. A story that has been handed down from one generation to another. A love story that sends a message that love will continue on even in the after life. But, my dreams have been shattered as I placed my eyes on my eternal enemy – Hotaru Imai... The last person I would think of playing as Juliet... My Juliet. I think I'm going to be sick.
"What?" The blackmailing brat said to me as I unconsciously continued to look at her.
"Nothing. I just can't believe this is happening," I answered trying to sound ignorant.
"I see. So you're angry because I am playing the role of Juliet," she answered with a matter-of-fact tone. I hate her. I truly despise her.
"Yes, I am. I can't believe you agreed to take the role. I thought that this project is going to be a success because we are going to do a Shakespearean play. And here you are making the show's failure inevitable."
"Shush, both of you," said Naru trying to stop us from quarreling. "I know you have just suffered a heartbreak, Ruka-kun. And I'm sorry for you. But, your life does not end if someone you love has just been taken away. It just goes to show that there is someone much better for you. It's time for a new beginning, a new love, Ruka-kun."
"You're just saying that Sakura is not meant for me. You're just saying it in the least hurtful way," I answered... My eyes blurring with my tears. I didn't want to cry. But, I did.
"Come on. It isn't that big of a problem," Imai said while reading her script. "At least you made her happy, didn't you?"
"Will you just let me be?" I wasn't able to take it anymore. My heart raced with mixed emotions: both intense sadness and fury. The tears in my eyes flowed more. I stood up, wiped them with the sleeve of my uniform and looked at her – with my blood boiling in me.
"You just don't know how much it pains me to let her go! I have loved her ever since. I never planned to let her go. Do you know how long it took me to finally decide to give up on her? It was really difficult! So, don't be surprised if I'm crying this much. I love your best friend. I love her even more than I love myself! You'll never know how I feel because you don't have feelings in that cold heart of yours! You'll never know how to love!" I felt myself almost explode because of the feelings that flowed out of me. As I was going to add more of my speech, I saw Imai crumple the 50-page long script with her hands.
"You think you have made a great sacrifice for the one you love?" She answered. Trembling. Not looking at me. "You really flattered yourself, didn't you, Nogi? You think you are such a big hero for doing something difficult like that. But, have you ever experienced never ever telling that certain person you love her because you see she is happy with someone else?"
What is she talking about? Why is she saying these things? I thought to myself staying silent.
"Have you ever experienced helping that certain someone come nearer to the person she loves? Helping her even if it hurts you so?" She stood up, still not looking at me. "I bet you haven't."
I stayed silent – astonished of what I have just witnessed. Has Imai been suffering this much? But, who does she mean that "certain someone"? Is she loving someone that I don't know? Is it Natsume?
Umph! I laughed in my mind just thinking about it. It's way too impossible. Imai? In love? Please. But, she has said this much already. More than she should have. Is she really this in love to that "certain someone"?
She went towards the door and opened it... Still not looking at me.
"Sensei, I should be able to memorize my lines until next week, right?" She asked with her back still facing me.
"Yes, Hotaru-chan. You should be able to memorize them within a week because we'll start with rehearsing the scenes solely for Romeo and Juliet. The other characters will just come later," Naru answered with a careful tone in his voice.
"Thank you, Sensei," she said and then looked at me. "Hey, Nogi."
I looked and answered stuttering, "Y-yes?"
"Don't worry. I won't destroy the play. I will be paid very well for doing this task of playing Juliet. However, I also expect you to do so. Don't let your recent heartbreak get the best of you. If the play is ruined and if I don't get my 'salary' as a stage actress... I'll decapitate you with my BakaGun. Understand?"
"Y-yes. I understand," I gulped as I stumbled through my words.
"Good." She turned her back and left the room. Leaving me, and Naru inside the classroom, wondering if we have just seen another side of Imai we haven't seen before.
Hello, everyone! After a long hiatus, finally! Lil' n3ko is back! And oh boy, am I excited. Well, this is my first fanfic after how many years? Anyway, I hope you'll love this fanfic just like you loved the others. I hope you'll review! Thanks in advance! The next chapter will be coming soon! For now, ciao!