My Guardian Dear
Characters~ Sasuke U. and Naruto U.
Warnings~ Attempted suicide/suicidal thoughts/depression, yaoi, and ehh…I think that's it. -.- Oh right—hopefully not too much OOC in this one… ^^"
Disclaimer~ Don't own Naruto in any way, shape, or form. ^^"
Notes from the KIT-chan~
Now we all know that Spirit Day (for LGBT) had long passed. -.- But that doesn't mean we should stop remembering the recent…lives that have been lost due to the homophobia and poor judgment in this wretched world we live in. I, myself, have had a friend who has lost a person dear to her—a victim, we can sadly say, to this…this tragedy. -.- And that is part of the reason why I happened to write this story—for her and for all of the recent…beings who have taken their lives because of…you get the idea. -.-"
But right—I was very upset, too, after hearing about the four that recently…you know what. And this came from it—a dream I had not too late after that, now developed into this very story.
After this…please keep in mind the ones who have been lost to this tragic event, and to be aware of the feelings of the people around you…and to think before you act. -.-"
Other than that, I hope you all enjoy this story~ =^w^=
.::.*~Kitsune~*.::.
(*Btw most of this fic is written in first person—Naruto's point of view. But it switches to Sasuke's third person at some point near the end. ^^")
~o~
Angel of God,
my guardian dear,
To whom God's love
commits me here,
Ever this day,
be at my side,
To light and guard,
to rule and guide.
Amen.
~o~
Everyone was their own secrets to keep. But at some point in life, there will always be a time when these secrets unravel whether you like it or not—and usually when you least expect it to happen.
What's worse—when your deepest, darkest secret has been exposed—laid out in the open for the whole world to see.
And you can't bear it all when you're alone, left on your own to deal with this matter.
~o~
The wind was blowing. I could feel the cold breeze against my face.
And I closed my eyes as I stood alone in the middle of nowhere, where anyone would least expect to find me—or so I would think.
The plain truth was…I didn't want to be found.
Not after what had happened the week before.
Another breeze came, and I opened my eyes, shifting my gaze to my right…a tall tree standing beside me.
And there hung a rope—with a noose already made—dangling from one of the highest branches of the tree.
Whoosh.
~xXx~
Before that day, it had been sunny outside for once, especially since it had been raining for a week already.
At Konoha University, PE class had long ended, and the locker room had been empty…except for me, of course. I was still cooling off in the shower, my body as sore as hell.
I felt the warm water roll my back, clouds of steam filling up the whole room as my mind went blank. Surely I'd been wasting the school's water supply by doing this, and that I'd get yelled at, too, for being late to my next class.
But then again, it was the end of the day. All my classes were done for today.
I sighed, then finally turned the water off and reached to get my orange towel to dry myself off.
Although I still had my frickin' thesis to write…damn it.
I exhaled sharply and wrapped the towel around my bare body to step out of the shower. Then I began to make my way back to my locker.
It was quiet in the room, but not a surprise, really. After all, classes were done for the day and the same went for football practice. I didn't really expect to see or walk into anyone along the way, because obviously they'd all returned to their dorms and such to 1. Either do the daily assload of work that our professors assigned to us every day or 2. Just to hang back with their friends—which really didn't include me, since I'd been considered the outcast of our class. No one really talked to me anyway, and I never bothered trying to talk to them, either.
That is…except for one.
A few days ago, a new kid had transferred to our school—a foreign exchange student from Japan by the name of Sasuke Uchiha. A tall, fair raven with eyes as black as coal and the most indifferent countenance probably known to man.
What's more, he'd been an outcast like me, too—but it was different because here he'd actually chosen to live his life out in solitude. From the very start, this guy would always avoid any person that tried to talk to him (which included every single one of the girls in our class), and I'd hated him for it. How he'd push them all away…when I never had a choice but to be pushed away by everyone else.
In fact…I…I'd hated him from the very beginning—more than anything else. And I didn't even know why, but…that's how it was for me. Every chance I'd get at school, I'd frown at him or even give him a death glare—all out of my resentment for him.
But that wasn't until I'd noticed for the first time…that I'd been the only one he'd actually utter a single word, too—even if they had been just monosyllabic phrases like "Hn." or "Dobe. (which I didn't know meant by the way…I think it's some Japanese word that means something really offensive)." Whenever I'd actually look at him…he'd actually always have a response, even if it was just the slightest. Unlike Sakura and the rest of the girls in my class…he'd really just turn his back to them without even saying anything.
That was when I'd thought: "What the hell is there about me that's so different to him?"
Since that day, this confusion in my head just continued to grow—as if I were going crazy about all this. And later on, I would find myself actually following this guy around (while staying hidden, of course) or even…even spacing out in class just looking at his face.
Now you might be thinking…that's it's weird for a guy to consistently be thinking of another guy that way…right?
Haha—but come on—I wasn't obsessed or anything like that. Just that I wondered…how he thought of me. After all the days that had gone by with us keeping our distances from each other, doing nothing more than exchanging brief glances at each other.
But at that moment to my surprise—when I'd finally reached my locker…there he stood, lo and behold.
~xXx~
I don't really remember everything that happened after that, because now it's all just a blur to me.
However, the important thing that I could recall was this—that I had finally realized what his relationship to me had been.
Because he'd confessed that day—right in front of me in person—that he'd…he'd loved me. And at first…I'd been so afraid. But that was when another thing that I didn't expect happened, too.
He'd leaned forward to kiss me on the lips. And for some reason that I still don't know to this day…I'd openly accepted him—although I'd been half-frozen with intimidation.
It had been my very first kiss—which I thought would be more than anything I'd dreamed of (although I really thought it would be Sakura). And…it actually was. But what was so amazing about it was how the sadness in my heart had faded away…because of it.
After that, I don't really remember anything else—just how we'd ended up staying in the locker room a lot longer than usual.
And how I'd brought myself into realizing…that maybe I hadn't been so alone after all.
Ever since that day, Sasuke had always been around for me—even helped me with my physics homework, considering how much I always failed that class. And he'd let me visit his dorm every now and then, too. Not to mention the fact that…any time I'd go out for a walk to clear my head from the usual stresses of college, he'd be there to keep me company most of the time—right by my side, never letting go of my hand.
Since then, I guess I could say…that Sasuke was almost like a guardian to me that time, come to save me from the loneliness that had filled my heart all this time. To pick me up every time I fell down. To stay with me through thick and thin.
But that wasn't until the next morning when my life had officially taken a turn for the worst—and literally became upside down.
~xXx~
The next morning, I had walked into school as I usually did with a tired look on my face (because I'd stayed up until midnight doing my stupid thesis).
But for some reason, things had been a lot different.
As I walked through the halls, everyone had been giving me weird looks and whispering behind my back. Because of this, it was really uncomfortable for me to stick around.
And at the same time, I wondered what was going on—why they were all acting like this.
But that was when I finally knew. When I'd heard a bunch of guys laughing at something they'd seen on this other guy's phone.
I was just about to go to class when I saw…when I saw what they'd really been laughing at.
And I was horrified when I saw that it had been a video…a video clip of me…with Sasuke. The two of us—kissing in the men's locker room…
At that moment, I began to hear voices from behind my back, snickering and making fun of me.
"Hey, Uzumaki—what's he taste like?"
"Which one of us is next on your list? Are you gonna make a move on us, too?"
"What's wrong? Uchiha decided not to come with you today?"
"I bet he already left for Japan, considering the humiliation he expects to go through…"
It was unbelievable—almost as if it were only a bad dream. A bad dream that I'd hoped to wake up from soon, but never did.
In that instant…I'd wanted to kill the bastard who'd done this to me—the one who'd exposed this for the whole world to see…
I clenched my fists and my teeth.
The people behind me continued to laugh, pointing fingers at me and everything. But the minute they'd mentioned that last comment about Sasuke…I couldn't help but forget everything and push my way out of that crowd, sprinted headlong outside to where Sasuke's dorm would be.
I ran as fast as I could, all these thoughts running through my mind…while a lump had already begun to grow in my throat, which made it harder for me to breathe.
I gulped. This can't be happening.
Thoughts of Sasuke disappearing from my life, never to see him again. Of him walking out that damn door…
I bit my lip and shook my head.
It can't…
Before I could finally realize it, I'd found myself bursting through the door of his room, dropping to my knees and breathing heavily.
But when I'd looked up to face the truth, there he was, his bed cleaned up—a bunch of bags and suitcases left at the corner of his room. He stood there looking at me…with cold, distant eyes.
At that moment, the lump in my throat began to swell even more, and I opened my mouth to utter his name.
"Sa…su…ke…"
He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "Hn. What are you doing here? Who are you?"
In that instant, a tinge of pain clawed at my heart. I couldn't speak another word.
I watched as Sasuke slowly shook his head and put his hand to his forehead. Then he spoke in an icy tone. "I knew I shouldn't have been involved with you in the first place…now look what's happened."
Tears began to well up under my eyes. "Sasuke…"
That was when he immediately opened his eyes to glare at me, slightly raising his voice in a way I'd never seen before. "I said, I don't know you!" he spat out angrily.
At that moment, I held my breath, trying to hold back a sob.
Sasuke sighed again, closing his eyes. "I don't know you…"
Silence began to fill the room.
But then Sasuke slowly shook his head, muttering to himself. "I've been humiliated…more than enough. If my father—if everyone back in Japan hears about this, I'm finished."
I bit my lip as my chest began to tighten. I wanted so badly to say something more, but I couldn't…
I took a deep breath, and tried as hard as I could to speak.
"Sasuke…I…"
He exhaled sharply, muttering something in Japanese, and suddenly rose to pick up his bags. Then he began to walk past me, but stopped for a moment before storming out the door.
His last words had been the hardest to bear.
"I'm moving out of here before it gets any worse—but don't think you'll see me again tomorrow…dobe. I'm going somewhere where you won't be able to follow me this time—and I'm never coming back here—ever." Then there was a pause, and I'd felt him glance back to look at me, still on my knees.
And at that moment, he'd given the final blow with a tone so cold I felt myself shiver along with it.
"Hn. Who knew it would come down to this? It's better for you and me like this. You'll be better off without me anyway. Goodbye…Naruto."
Suddenly, my body went numb as I'd heard the door close behind me. And before I knew it, I found myself crumpled on the carpet, gasping.
Tears streaming down both of my cheeks.
~xXx~
What happened after that had been a blur to me, too—but my heart literally felt like it had just been obliterated into…into nothing. Like there was a deep void blown right into the middle of my chest—eating away at what'd been left of me.
And damn, I really did wish that this was all just a dream—and that Sasuke didn't really mean all that he'd said that day.
But like always, I was wrong. Dead wrong. And it only got even worse for the next few days.
People never left me alone after that. There would still be the ones that would whisper behind my back—and the others that would just tell it straight to my face, even pushing me against the walls or purposely touching me where I didn't like to be touched...
I hated it so much—and I didn't know how much longer I could take all this crap from everyone. Sometimes I would even dare to think: "If only Sasuke were here…"
Life had been harder for me for the following week, especially because I'd been left all alone to deal with it—without anyone watching my back this time. And day after day, I'd begin to wonder just where Sasuke Uchiha had gone already and sometimes even visit his dorm (now empty) at night when I couldn't sleep.
To just…just lie there with my mind blank for once—with no one there to bother me at all.
As the days of this week passed, I began to feel the loneliness eating away at my chest again—and at times I'd feel like I wanted to just disappear from this world so that the pain would go away. And I'd wanted so much for Sasuke to come back, even though it was completely impossible…who the hell was I kidding here?
Anyway, it all finally hit me the hardest—when I ran into a guy who'd claimed to be Sasuke's older brother. And after all that happened on that one day...nothing had ever been the same for me again.
I found him in Sasuke's room one day, and it looked as if he were looking for something in the bare parts of it that remained ever since…you get the idea. He was tall and had almost looked exactly like Sasuke, except his raven hair was longer and of course he looked a lot older.
The guy had claimed that his name was Itachi, and that he definitely was Sasuke's brother. But he'd only come to gather up anything that Sasuke might have left behind after leaving campus in such a hurry.
I'd watched as the older Uchiha advanced over to the other side of the room to look into Sasuke's dresser, and just stood there without even saying another word.
But then after a few minutes…I'd somehow brought myself into asking where his little brother lived now—where Sasuke had decided to move on to—and if he'd ever mentioned any plans of coming back to Konoha.
And in that instant, that made Itachi stiffen. "…"
Almost immediately, I ended up holding my breath, because for some reason, it was like I knew that I wasn't going to get a good answer.
That was when the older Uchiha finally opened his mouth to speak in an unwavering voice. And I'd listened carefully to every single word he'd said.
First, he'd told me about how Sasuke decided to stay with at his apartment in Princeton for the time being—and how upset he'd been that day…how he'd actually shown emotion that time, when usually he'd have apathy on his side.
At this, I couldn't help but feel pain inside again—the same I'd felt the minute he'd left.
Then there was a long pause, and I waited with sad eyes.
Itachi sighed, then slowly shook his head. "The only reason Little Brother ever bothered to come with me to America was to start a new life all to himself. But now he's decided to discontinue everything..." He paused again, then looked at me expressionlessly. "Sasuke won't be returning to Konoha any time soon—he's already made up his mind to return to our family in Japan. He'll be leaving for his flight first thing tomorrow morning."
At that moment, I could have sworn my heart stopped for a minute and that my eyes might have widened two-fold that time.
"I'm sorry if this concerns you as well."
~o~
The wind blew again, and I shivered this time after the cold air breezed against me. That was when I noticed it was raining, my body almost drenched with water, since I never even bothered to bring a jacket outside.
But then again…why the hell would I need a jacket? It's not like it would change anything that would happen right now…
At that moment, I saw that I was standing in front of the tree, entranced by the rope that was hanging from its branch. And I found myself gasping, as if it was getting harder and harder to breathe for every second that passed. My eyes were bulging and my body was numb from the cold.
I cringed when another gust of wind blew past me, and in an instant I recoiled, wrapping my arms around my shoulders.
Then I could feel raindrops beginning to roll down my already stained cheeks…or were those tears? Either way, I furiously wiped them away and looked back up to stare absent-mindedly at the noose before me.
How neatly the rope was tied upon itself—a loop big enough for to be enclosed around a person' neck.
That was when my hand instinctively reached up for my own neck…and my fingers were shaking.
My neck…
At that point, I could barely see anything because my eyes were flooded with tears and rain—and I could have sworn they were bloodshot, too, since they stung so much.
But the pain I'd felt in my eyes was nothing compared to how I was feeling inside—like the void that replaced my heart had grown into a black hole, sucking away at whatever's left.
Not long after that, I'd collapsed on my knees after a memory suddenly flashed into my mind. Of Sasuke standing before me in the low light—his raven hair flowing with the wind.
And I closed my eyes when I started to hear voices in my head.
"Hn. Dobe."
"Who do you think you're looking at, you stupid dobe?"
"Dobe…"
"What are you doing here? Who are you?"
"I don't know you…"
"I said, I don't know you!"
I gasped, clutching at my throat, and fell forward to the ground. "Sasuke…"
"I'm moving out of here before it gets any worse—but don't think you'll see me again tomorrow…dobe. I'm going somewhere where you won't be able to follow me this time—and I'm never coming back here—ever."
I gulped, writhing on the ground I lay on until I found myself lying right below the noose as it hung over my very eyes. I felt my heart stop for a moment.
"Hn. Who knew it would come down to this?"
"The only reason Little Brother ever bothered to come with me to America was to start a new life all to himself. But now he's decided to discontinue everything..."
"It's better for you and me like this. You'll be better off without me anyway."
"Sasuke won't be returning to Konoha any time soon—he's already made up his mind to return to our family in Japan. He'll be leaving for his flight first thing tomorrow morning."
"Goodbye…Naruto."
In that instant, the rain had stopped all of a sudden. But I could still feel some drops of rain from the tree branches falling on my face. And my breath stilled when I found myself reaching for the rope, like I was in a trance of some sort.
"Goodbye…Sasuke."
Before I knew it, the noose was already around my neck.
~o~
Even in the parts of Princeton, Sasuke could see that it was literally raining cats and dogs outside.
The Uchiha sighed and looked at his wristwatch. His flight would be delayed for sure. He exhaled sharply, then fell back on the couch behind him, staring at the ceiling.
Naruto…
The raven closed his eyes and put his head on his forehead. It had been more than a week now since he'd last heard from the blonde.
Since he'd hurt him and broken his heart. It almost killed Sasuke when he remembered that horrified look on the latter's face—his eyes bulging with pain like he'd just been kicked hard in the stomach.
That was when the raven shook his head. Of course he really didn't mean to hurt him like that—he never wanted to in the first place. But because of what the whole world had seen…he knew it had been for the best to leave him alone—for good.
Hurting him had only been part of the process—a price to pay, if you would ask him yourself—a very painful price to pay…so that his lover would not follow him. So that his soul mate would no longer be humiliated by this cruel world—so that he'd be left by himself.
For Sasuke to choose to carry the burden on his own shoulders…he felt that it had been the only option. There was no other way. And knowing Naruto's happy-go-lucky personality, he'd get over it at some point anyway…although he never would himself.
The Uchiha slowly shook his head again and wondered how the blonde might have been doing at that very moment. Then he dropped his hand to look again at his wristwatch and shifted his gaze over to where the window was, the other side drenched with rain.
That was when he heard footsteps coming from the other room, and the raven turned his head to see his older brother approach him, dressed and ready to take him to the airport—although the expression on his face had been serious.
Itachi paused, then opened his mouth to speak in a low voice. "Little brother."
Sasuke frowned and uttered all but one syllable. "Hn."
The older Uchiha pursed his lips, then continued to speak. "…are you sure that what you're doing is for the best?"
At that moment, the younger raven was silent. He lowered his gaze and turned to look out the window for minute, then closed his eyes.
"Yeah."
At this, there had been another long pause from Itachi. That was when he closed his own eyes and turned to walk into the other room to pick up some of his sibling's other bags. But before doing so, the older Uchiha managed to speak in a solemn but unwavering tone.
"Hopefully I'll have any regrets from you, then. Be ready in five minutes."
"Ah."
After that, Sasuke was quiet. Then after a few seconds, he'd heard his brother's footsteps fade into the other room, and he sighed, putting his hand to his forehead again.
Hn. This is it, then.
The Uchiha groaned, about to get up on his feet to pick up the suitcases in front of him. But surprisingly at the same time, another memory had flashed through his mind right then and there—of Naruto Uzumaki standing in the distance with that stupid, carefree smile on his face.
The raven stiffened, then closed his eyes again to chuckle.
…dobe.
But all of a sudden, Sasuke had noticed his phone vibrating in his pocket, reaching over to answer the call and find out just who would be contacting him at that point.
"Ah," he uttered into the receiver.
At first, the raven waited, considering that the voice he would hear in response would belong to his lover, who may have gone so far as to search every phone book for his new number—and Sasuke almost chuckled to himself upon thinking of that idea.
However, the voice that had begun speaking to the Uchiha had not been Naruto's.
It belonged to Mr. Iruka Umino, Konoha University homeroom teacher to the class where both he and Naruto had once been a part of together—long before the…"incident" occurred.
And from the serious tone in the professor's voice, the raven knew at once that the news he would receive at that moment would not be good to him at all.
"Naruto's gone missing…and we don't have any idea of where he could be right now. No one's seen him since last night."
Sasuke lowered his gaze, leaning against the wall, and listened to the rest of what Mr. Umino had to say.
Then finally, when there had been a click on the other line, the Uchiha looked up and out the window, to see that it had stopped raining all of a sudden.
"You're just about the only one who can fix him now."
"…"
Before the raven even knew it, he was already outside in less than a second, sprinting towards the nearest bus stop with nothing but his soul mate in his thoughts.
~o~
At first, I could feel myself scream because there had been so much pain in my throat—like someone had just tried to rip my whole head off. But after a few more minutes, I felt my body go numb, and I couldn't feel anything anymore.
At the same time, I closed my eyes, waiting as that picture of Sasuke in my head started to fade away, and how my heartbeat began to slow…
Until the moment that darkness had taken over me.
~o~
15 minutes.
0.25 hours.
900 seconds.
As the bus neared the bus stop that had been the closest to Konoha University—next to a vacant field filled with nothing but trees and bushes, Sasuke asked himself the same question: what the hell could Naruto have done in such a short time?
No, wait—it was a lot more than that. And this made the raven's grip tighten at the railing he was holding onto.
Damn…
Almost immediately at the moment when the bus had finally stopped and opened its doors, the Uchiha (who had been the only passenger on the bus at that time) hastily jumped off the steps and onto the sidewalk, in a rush to reach his lover before anything more could happen.
But before Sasuke could even take one step in the direction towards Konoha University, he suddenly felt a sharp tinge of pain in his chest and fell on his knees, letting out a low cry.
And to the raven's surprise…as quickly as that pain had arrived, it had disappeared all of a sudden as if nothing had really happened.
Ignoring the bus driver who had been watching the Uchiha with cautious eyes, Sasuke raised his head…and found himself staring out into the field of trees.
~o~
(Sasuke's POV—first person)
I don't know why, but instead of searching for that idiot back on campus, I ended up here in the middle of nowhere. Around me, I could see nothing but trees and bushes, wet from the storm that had just passed.
And for some reason, I continued to wander around in this unknown pasture because something in my heart was telling me to do so—and this usually didn't happen to me, because I'd always been indifferent from the very beginning.
But hn. All I could think of at that moment was finding Naruto safe and sound (hopefully), so I went along with it. I even pictured the dobe hiding behind a bush or something, waiting to jump out at me thinking that it would probably be his foolproof plan to make sure that I didn't leave him again—and I almost laughed as I thought of this idea. However…I'd almost forgotten just how much I'd hurt him that day—so things would be a little different than what I first pictured. And then I started thinking of how to help both of us cope with this issue…in case it didn't come out to what either of us had expected.
I shrugged, then worked my way through a cluster of bushes, until I reached an open meadow that had consisted of nothing but tall grass and this big tree in the distance.
Of course, just from looking at this area, I knew that Naruto wouldn't stick around in a place like this, so without hesitating even for another minute, I turned to walk back.
But that was when something caught my eye, and I'd stopped in my tracks.
And almost immediately I turned around and peered closer at the tree in the distance—to see that there had been a silhouette hanging from one of its branches on what looked like a rope.
In that instant, my heart almost stopped for a moment—but then I'd begun to think that maybe it was just a doll or something that some kid might have left here a while ago.
That wasn't until I'd found myself walking towards the tree up ahead, only to see that the silhouette was too big for a doll, even if it were life-size. It had bushy hair and was a little short, which made me think even more…
And that was when I'd finally been three feet away from it. At that moment, I held my breath and stiffened, my eyes literally bulging…when I'd seen that the figure, wearing a muddy, orange hoodie, had wet, now dirty blonde hair, and whiskers on either one of his tan cheeks.
Naruto Uzumaki…
~o~
(Naruto's POV—first person)
It was dark that whole time and my thoughts were really cloudy, so I could just barely think straight. At this point, I could feel my presence fading from the world and the whole universe.
…and not just because I'd literally been hanging ten feet off the ground.
I paused, then found myself nearing an even deeper realm of darkness—probably the place I'll end up once I'm finally gone. At first, I kind of found it depressing, knowing that I'll never see the light because of what I've just done and that I'd never be able to speak to the one I'd once loved ever again…but then I started thinking that even if I didn't choose this, nothing would change anyway—at least…at least by walking this path, I'd feel less pain.
So I blocked out any more senses of doubt, and began to surrender myself into the deeper darkness.
But that wasn't until I'd heard a distant voice from…above?
"Naruto!"
It was familiar to me…too familiar to be true. Then sooner or later, I'd finally recognized the voice and it suddenly got louder.
After a few more seconds, I'd heard footsteps below me and then a mutter in some language I didn't know. Then pretty soon…I began to hear the voice speak again, this time in a pained, soft-spoken tone.
"Oh shit…what have I done?"
I felt a jolt go right through my body in that instant. …Sasuke?
I heard a small cry of frustration. "God…Naruto…"
Oh no. At that moment, I'd wanted to wake myself up and speak at least one word to the raven I cared so much about in front of me. But because of I was at that point…I couldn't…
I could only listen as Sasuke cursed more in Japanese, then heard him jump up as if to cut the rope around my neck. I waited and soon felt myself dropping to the ground, only to be caught in my lover's arms.
And oh—how warm they'd actually felt this time, when back then I'd used to think that they'd be so cold because of the pale color they'd always been in.
But then I immediately froze when I'd heard a strangled…sob?
Now this had nearly ripped my whole subconscious to shreds because of the fact that Sasuke Uchiha never cried or sobbed even once in his life (not counting his childhood, of course). But this…this was the first time…that I'd heard from him this way.
I felt him cringe a little, then found myself being lowered to the ground, still being held gingerly in his grasp.
And then I'd heard him speak again, in that same, pained voice.
"Oh, dobe… Damn it, I'm so sorry… I'm sorry that I dared to leave you alone like this…"
At that point, I'd wanted to yell at him. Damn it all, I really did…
There was a pause. "I never meant for this to happen to you…but I should have known better. And most importantly, I should have gotten here sooner…"
In that instant, I froze. My guardian angel, here until the very end at my side…
Suddenly, I stopped thinking when I'd heard the next few words from the Uchiha holding me close.
"But damn…it's all too late. Too late for me to apologize to you…and too late to say how horrible an idea it was for me to leave you by yourself, thinking that it would be better this way. I'm such an idiot…"
Oh…Sasuke. Sasuke…
Another strangled sob could be heard. "But you can't hear me anymore, can you? Naruto…"
I wanted to open my mouth right then and there to say no, but all of my attempts had been futile because I was almost gone.I waited helplessly as my lover was breaking down before me, and as my heartbeat began slowing to a stop at the same time.
That was when everything was silent, and I'd felt hot tears roll down my cheeks in that instant.
~o~
At that moment, I'd really thought I'd finally disappeared from the world I'd lived in, whether I liked it or not. And all that time, I couldn't think of anything but Sasuke. Of him not leaving my side, even for a minute…damn, I wished this didn't happen so soon.
But suddenly, before I'd fallen under, I thought I could feel myself being pushed back to the top, little by little as if someone had been trying to save my life at the point.
And pretty soon, I began to see a tiny dot of white light, growing larger and larger as I advanced upwards.
To tell you the truth, I'd begun to think that this was actually heaven—and God just being his usual, merciful self to save me from the dark at the last minute.
But that wasn't until I started hearing cries—almost like orders from a doctor—being sent out in a tone so serious, and a bunch of beeping sounds all around me.
Getting louder and louder until finally…I'd found myself looking at the face of a young raven with dark eyes of ebony and an alabaster face, almost like a porcelain doll carved so perfectly with the traits of an angel.
And soon, I'd seen that it had been the face of…Sasuke Uchiha.
"Dobe?"
At that moment, I knew I wasn't dreaming anymore because at the same time, I could feel my old self again, and I'd already begun looking around to see that I'd been taken to the hospital.
And that I was definitely alive.
I paused, then opened my mouth to speak. Although my voice wasn't as loud and clear as it had been before…at least I could talk now.
"Sa…"
But before I could even finish the word, I felt my face being caressed by the raven-haired angel himself until he finally stopped down at the tip of my chin.
That was when I took the advantage to jab him in the stomach with my elbow as hard as I could with a smug, triumphant grin on my face.
"Teme."
There. I'd finally said the word after learning it from Mr. Umino a few weeks ago. And I felt proud of it because it wasn't just Sasuke now who would give me stupid Japanese nicknames that meant—well…stupid.
Anyway, I almost laughed when I saw the latter recoil for a second, wincing. But then he smirked and looked up at me.
"Hn. Guess I deserved that, then."
I smiled back. "Hm."
There was a pause, then I found myself being caressed by my lover again until his head was just an inch away from my ear. And he'd begun to whisper.
"…I'm sorry about ever leaving you, Naruto. And I swear I won't ever do that again."
I stiffened a little as soon as I'd felt his cool breath against my ear. But then I listened to him as he continued.
"I didn't know that it would be like this if I left you by yourself. I thought that if I'd let you handle things, they'd leave you alone. But I guess I was wrong."
I swallowed, then opened my mouth to speak. "You said goodbye…so soon."
There was a pause. "I know. And I'm sorry for hurting you, too. I was even afraid…that you'd said goodbye to me there as well. I thought that I'd lost you for good."
"Just like…I thought…I'd lost you, too…" I croaked. "But I won't let that happen again. Ever."
There was a slight chuckle, and I'd felt Sasuke press his lips to my forehead with a sigh.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
Then after a few minutes, he spoke again in a low voice. "Hn. But now I'm here, and there's nothing that can change that. Starting today, I won't let anyone hurt you anymore…including myself. We can both get through this, if you'd just help me, too. Unless…" He paused for a second. "Unless…you still haven't forgiven me and would rather want me to leave this to yourself."
At that moment, I felt myself grab Sasuke's wrist instinctively, as quickly as if I'd just touched a burning stove. And I swallowed, speaking in the clearest and most serious of tones I could manage.
"Stay."
In that instant, the latter chuckled lightly, putting his other hand over mine and then raising it up to my chin so that I was now looking into his coal-black eyes.
Sasuke paused and smirked at me—although this time it had been so much closer to a smile.
Then he moved forward to kiss my lips and spoke in a warm, comforting tone.
"Hn. All the time."
At that moment, I reached forward to wrap my arms around him—to feel his presence all around me—and I thought that I would never be able to let go of him even for a second.
"I love you, Sasuke."
That was when he stiffened, a moment of silence filling the room.
Then finally, he calmly wrapped his own arms around me, pulling me close towards him and speaking softly.
"…I love you, Naruto—more than anything the world would ever have to offer for me."
~o~
I'll sing it one last time for you And I can barely look at you Light up, light up Louder louder To think I might not see those eyes Light up... Slower slower Have heart my dear Light up, light up
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
~o~
Notes from the KIT-chan~
Dang, so many ellipses and hyphens in here…and oh, Sasuke's OOC. ^_^" Don't kill me, Silver. X"D I almost literally ripped my heart in two just writing this story… ^^"
But yeah—this is what I ended up writing in my depression for my friend, with a few edits here and there. ^_^"; And yeah—I know I really shouldn't have been as depressed as my friend was, considering I just barely knew the guy who died…but this hasn't been the first time this has happened to me. Pshh…Silver, you've probably heard this from me once like last year (we'll leave it at that X"D) but yeah. -.- (And wow…Aka, Dan-chan, if you've just read this, too…how's that for my emo side? xD Hope you liked it just as much, too. X3)
Haha—I never knew why, but it sorta happens often with my closest friends or family—as in every time they'd feel all depressed…I'd start feeling the same thing ten-fold for some reason, and it would bug me for the rest of the day (if not more ^^").
Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this story…if you haven't already cried your eyes out. ^_^"; Because I definitely have… n_n"
Oh and by the way, here's the songs I based this story on (which I also don't own. XD):
Apologize by One Republic
Run by Snow Patrol (the lyrics at the very end of this fic… ^_^)
And…that's it. Phew… XD
Please review and I hope you read more of my stuff~! =^w^=
.::.*~Kitsune~*.::.