A/N: I own pokemon games. Not own Pokemon. Notice the difference? Fuck off landsharks!

Voodoo - Ash X Cynthia

Ash ran up the stairs in the PokeCenter to where his room and companions were. Pikachu was following, right on his heels. The little mouse had seen the tail end of what had caused Ash to run. Worse, he had heard the words of doom.

'I can see our children already.'

Pikachu was certain that Mewtwo was involved somehow, but couldn't say exactly how.

Ash burst into the room. Brock looked over in surprise, and Dawn looked up from her coordinating magazine.

"Code Pink! Code Pink 1! Brock, we gotta go!" came Ash's almost hysterical voice.

"Pikachu, pi pika!" spoke up the yellow mouse.

Brock began to pack up quickly and Ash started grabbing his stuff.

"Dawn, pack your stuff we gotta diddy mao, diddy fucking now!"

Dawn seeing how the boys were rushing and grabbing everything, followed Brock's order.

"What's going on?"

"Code Pink, we'll explain later," Brock answered, "Ash, how much time?"

"Probably fifteen minutes, she's a pile of post-orgasm goo. It was Cynthia."

Brock froze up momentarily before continuing. The three ran down the stairs and stopped momentarily to pick up their Pokemon. The few minutes it took to get them was an eternity to Ash and Brock. A quick thanks to the flirty Nurse Joy, and they rushed out of the PokeCenter and the League Compound.

"Cynthia?"

"Yeah."

"Will you tell me what a Code Pink is?" Dawn interrupted. If it weren't for the fact that they had to run all the time, she'd be out of breath.

"Someone wants my baby," Ash answered.

"What? Who'd want your baby?"

"Me," came a voice from right in front of them.

X x X x X

-Bwah ha ha ha. You can't run puppet! Fuck her again, and again!-

X x X x X

"Cynthia?" Dawn screeched.

A naked blonde blur attacked Ash. Next thing they all knew was that his pants had landed on Dawn's head.

"Get 'em off! Get 'em off!" she began screaming as she ran around and flaied her arms.

"PikaaaaCHU!" Pikachu zapped Cynthia and Ash, a level that would temporarily paralyze any normal human, but left Ash only a little singed. Pikachu swore Ash could generate his own thundershock by now, with all the electricity running through his body.

Ash threw the paralyzed and twitching Cynthia off of himself, grabbed his pants from Dawn's head, and began to hop down the road, putting them on.

"Let's go!"

Cynthia's heavily bandaged Garchomp limped out to where her master was and poked her with a stick.

"Oh, Ash, you're so hard," came the delusional response.

X x X x X

-You won't be able to avoid her forever, puppet!-

X x X x X

Ash and Brock had their Pokemon dig out a hidden cave for camp that night.

"Alright, can you two explain to me what's going on?" Dawn demanded more than asked.

Brock and Ash shared a sigh.

"We are at Code Pink 1. I had hoped we could of stayed at Pink 2," Ash began.

"Code Pink is our code for 'A woman wants my baby.' Pink 5 is the everyday level. Little to know chance. Four is a chance, and can shift into Code Green, which is dating. Three is high chance or imminent, get the fuck out of Dodge. Two is 'We had sex, now we need to leave.' One, our current status, is where the woman in question is chasing us. Remember that little town we had to leave at warp speed?" Brock continued.

"Yes?" Dawn answered.

"I was at Pink 3. The shopkeepers daughter wanted me to settle down. I wasn't having any of that," Brock told her.

Dawn looked thoughtful for a moment.

"What code am I then?"

"Purple," the boys answered simultaneously, "'Female traveling companion, who is undeserving of our perversion, due to age or coolness.'"

She was bewildered at the stereo answer. She then pouted.

"Hypothetically," she began, "what if I wanted to be the object of your perversion, what code then?"

"Red Delta," again in stereo, "'Female who wants my junk but is too young for my tastes.'"

"So I'm too young?"

"Yeah. Anything under sixteen isn't legal for me, therefore not to my tastes."

"Yup. Won't touch anything under fourteen," Ash said. He is only sixteen, almost seventeen. Fourteen was okay in his book.

X x X x X

-Oh, really puppet? This plays right into my sexy party plans then. Shazam!-

X x X x X

"I won't be too young in four days, then."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, after we can escape our current Code Pink," Ash told her.

What is with women these days? Throwing themselves at him?

X x X x X

-I want to see something new. Kapow!-

X x X x X

"Okay. Will you put it in my pooper?" she asked hopefully.

Ash and Brock shared a look.

"I got first shift," Brock said getting up to stand guard at the entrance.

"Wake me up in four hours," came Ash's reply, before he rolled over and put his head down.

"Ash?"

Silence met her.

"Please? In my pooper? I love it when I finger it, will you please pork me there?"

Again, silence.

"Ash?"

"Go to sleep, Dawn. You have the early morning shift," Brock called over to her.

She pouted, but did as told.

X x X x X

Morning broke as the three traveling companions broke camp. Luckily for Ash, there was no sign of anyone near by or of have showing up during the night. They decided they would head to the nearest port and leave to the farthest destination they could.

X x X x X

Cynthia looked on to see her love leaving and traveling further and further away. Luckily for her, Ash's abdication of his position left her in power. Which meant she could find out where he went with no problems. So long as he stayed in Sinnoh. Cynthia knew he was going to leave her homeland. She would follow.

X x X x X

-SEXY PARTY!-

X x X x X

A/N: So. Yeah. I tried to be funny. Let me know if I was successful.

Just to let y'all know. This is probably my lowest priority story. It comes and goes as far as inspiration, but as I go I will try to maintain a level of humour and story. Review or Mewtwo is going to curse you with everyone of the opposite gender wanting your babies. And they'll be all clingy and demanding.