DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters.

This is written by Barbara Manatee -In The Flesh- who writes a freaking hilarious Tom Riddle story and a sexy Tom Riddle. Introducing Tom Riddle's first horcrux, and Isis's only friend and penpal, Rosenbalk. :D Check out "Some Happy Ending Indeed". :)

Chapter 2: I Found Tom Riddle's Diary

I glared at the blank diary. What kind of idiot doesn't write in their diary? That's just messed up. Which means that it's mine. Because, clearly, I am NOT an idiot, nor a blank diary. So it's possession falls to me.

Oh, I'm sure that Tom Riddle liked this diary. But whoever he was, he was one messed up kid.

Thrusting it open, I took out a normal pen, and wrote, as neatly as possible,

I don't know who Tom Riddle was, but he was an idiot. He didn't even write in this diary. What kind of creep gets his name engraved in their diary, and doesn't write a thing?

I began to scream hysterically as I looked over what I had just written. It was GONE! It had DISAPPEARED!

I suppose everyone is entitled to their opinion.

I glared at the diary as something was written. WHAT THE HECK?

Let me guess. This is the latest new toy, and that's the only thing you can say. Sure enough, my words sank into the pages again.

In reply, the words appeared. I suppose everyone is entitled to their opinion.

I smirked. I knew it!

No, not quite.

I rolled my eyes. Ooh, it says TWO things! AMAZING!

Sarcasm is not appreciated.

Yeah? Is that so? Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you started talking to me.

Believe it or not, life as a book is very boring.

I stared at the book aghast. Wait...it had been talking to me. As if having a conversation. I suppose you're some dark creature that got bound into this book to repent of it's sins and to suffer and eternity of angst. Well, if that's the case, I am not in any way letting you out.

I suppose it's too late to ask for somebody else to talk to then.

...Yeah, It is.

I also suppose I'm speaking to a muggle?

Creep. Only people who are into Harry Potter mumbo-jumbo say stuff like that. Hey! I get it now! You're Voldemort. Well, his first horcrux. Ooh, this is SO cool. Except for the fact that you should have been stabbed with Gryffindor's sword, which is filled with Basilik venom...

What an untimely, imaginary death.

Hey! At least I got the fact that you're a future Voldemort right. Heh. I can finally rant at you for all the PAIN AND MISERY you caused, you little sadistic CREEP! HONESTLY-who goes off and starts wars, murdering hundreds if not thousands, on a whim? What kind of sane human being DOES that?

I suppose the answer to that is that I'm not sane.

Got that right, you little messed up jerk.

Are you quite done yet?

Not remotely! What is your ISSUE, man? Everybody LIKED you. You were POPULAR. You should have been HAPPY! Instead, you go searching for a DIADEM? I don't care WHO owned it-that's just stupid. And this whole 'anti muggle' campeign? Please! You're SUCH an Adolf Hitler. He was jewish, and YOU are a half blood.

...Adolf Hitler?

YOU DON'T KNOW-You're goading me. You lived in an orphanage in the MUGGLE world.

Alright. Perhaps I do know who Adolf Hitler is.

I suppose you think you're funny.

That depends. Are you laughing?

No. Not even close.

Then no. I wasn't.

Quite contrary to what I was writing, I giggled at that.

So. When does the manipulating start?

Forgive me if I don't follow.

When are you going to start trying to befriend me and then get me to free you? Because if that's what you think is going to happen, you're dead wrong. I would love nothing more than to believe that you're not evil. But you've already murdered somebody. That's why you're HERE. I don't believe you can change. And even if you seem to, it's all a trick. I want to make that clear. I don't trust you.

Fair enough. I suppose I should consign myself to a life of living in this book until you die and somebody foolish stumbles upon me.

As if! I plan on dumping you down a well next chance I get. I said I don't trust you NOW, but I don't trust myself. I'm willing to bet that you WILL worm your way into my trust.

Water won't damage me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I read the books too-nerd. Anyways, I'm not trying to destroy you. As far as I know, only basilisk venom can do that. No, I'm trying to formulate a plan in which nobody can get you.

I'm sorry, books?

Yeah. There are books on Harry Potter-the guy who defeats you. Except he defeats something that is not nearly as pleasant to look at as you, I'm assuming. You make seven horcruxes. You lose your nose, your ears, and even your hair.

What a shame.

I know! I always liked noses. And ears. And hair.

I suppose it will be of no consolation to you that I still have them?

Oh, I know. I KNOW! But I don't care.

It's funny-neither do I.

Well, aren't you just bordering on boring.

I don't have to be.

...Just exactly what are you implying?

You can get me out of here.

...That was weak. That was actually pathetic.

It was worth a shot.

I don't even know why I'm talking to you! It's useless-you'll either hopelessly manipulate me, or I bore myself to death. I should slam this diary shut right now. And stop insulting you. If somebody releases you, then I know who you'll kill first.

But I don't want to kill you. You amuse me.

Oh, I amuse you? Is that freaking so?

Yes. Usually, when somebody writes to me, it's to tell me how tragic their lives are. And I'm always there for them.

But you won't ever be there for me. I won't let you.

I know. Which is why this is such a fascinating position. I've never met a human quite like you before.

Oh, no! You're not going to use flattery either. Gosh. You sound like Edward Cullen.

Edward Cullen?

Gosh. I should write in Twilight for you. I'm sure a closet romantic like you would enjoy it.

...Edward Cullen?

Oh, yeah. He's my vampire boyfriend. He gave me this diary for my birthday, telling me how he KNEW how much I LOVE talking diaries.

So you're a female?

No, idiot. I'm a male-I'm gay.

Would you shoot me if I told you I'm gay?

I KNEW IT! And I don't talk to gays.

But you are gay.

As if! I am 100% female, and straight.

...I am bisexual.

Yeah. I'm sure. Too little, too late.

Alright. I'll admit it. I have never been gay.

I don't believe you. You're not interested period. That's why you were such a messed up little bugger in the first place. You couldn't find it in yourself to love.

...I have loved.

I don't freaking believe you!

I have loved.

That's a load of crud.

I have loved more deeply and irrationally then you can ever possibly comprehend.

...Sorry if I can't believe that a sociopath can love anything but watching things die.

I beg of you, please do not mock this.

Voldemort doesn't beg.

Tom Riddle does.

Ha. Nice try. You're about to try and charm me with some tale of unrequited love, so you turned to murder to let out all the anger, right?

I don't think it's quite fair that you are ever judging me and never letting me speak. Whatever happened to second chances?

Look, it's just...I read about somebody who fell right into your hands. They were manipulated, and it nearly cost her life. I used to believe that you could change...but you can't. You're evil. AND a horcrux.

I am only a part of Tom Riddle. I am not him completely. You can't know for sure.

Yes, I bloody can! You are the product of murder! You are half of a soul. You are NOT human. You never had feelings. You never will. All you can feel is ambition, anger, and arrogance.

I am more human than he ever was! I've lived through this past century with only humans for company. I KNOW you now. I can see you. And I'm tired of waiting by the sidelines for somebody to let me free. I want somebody to trust me. I want somebody to want me.

Well, tough crackers. As touching as that was, I still don't believe you.

How can I make you understand? I won't even have magic!

LIES! ALL OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING ARE LIES! ...I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be writing to you. You're just going to keep trying.

No! I promise I won't...try. Don't leave!

Oh, like that will work! I see through you Tom Riddle. Now I KNOW you're planning something. You're asking me to trust you RIGHT now. And I don't trust you. I refuse to try. Goodbye, Tom Marvolo Riddle. It was fun, but I won't be coming back for more.

I only felt mildly guilty as I slammed it shut. I had done right. I had resisted Lord Voldemort's influence. It was scary to think that I was that close...I mean, it was so subtle. If I wasn't so paranoid, I probably would have given in.

Who would enjoy a talking diary they knew they couldn't trust most?

Isis.