Just The Way You Are

Disclaimer: If I owned Glee…I wouldn't have to write this story, for one, b/c 'Furt' would have ended differently…

A/N: For the first forty minutes of 'Furt' I was grinning like a fool and there might have been some tears involved as well at some point…and then the last two minutes came and my jaw dropped…

I've got many mixed feelings about this ending but what I do know is I feel so sorry for Kurt that he was faced with such an incredibly painful dilemma in the first place – I mean, how do you choose between allowing yourself to be terrified, bullied and humiliated every single day, and letting down your friends and leaving them in the lurch? You don't b/c it's an impossible choice! Poor, poor Kurt! Just when things were starting to look up! Argh! So I had to write this to vent a little…I hope you like this.

~~I don't believe an accident of birth makes people brothers. It makes them siblings. Brotherhood is a condition people have to work at.~~

Maya Angelou

"Kurt, you can't leave."

"What the hell, dude? How about you talk with me about this first?"

"Kurt?"

"I'm sorry. I have to go."

He knew if he had stayed a second longer, he'd have fallen apart. Even he had only that much strength. He couldn't bear the looks of hurt in Finn's and Mercedes' eyes, and the shock and disappointment in the eyes of the others. The thought that he had caused it was killing him. These were his friends, his family, and he was letting them down in the worst way possible. When Blaine had told him about doing this, he didn't say it would hurt so damn much.

He choked on his tears but refused to let them flow. He bit his lip hard, clutching the strap of his messenger bag like a lifeline. The leather bit into his skin painfully but he welcomed it. The physical pain seemed to take the edge off the unbearable agony he was feeling inside.

Stumbling blindly and not really knowing how he got there, he somehow made it to his car. He got inside and he saw the CD of "The Way You Are" from the wedding Finn must have left in the car in the morning. That was it. The tears flowed freely now as if someone had tore a hole in his soul, letting all the emotion out in an overpowering wave. He would be strong and collected for everyone else to see because he knew transferring to Dalton was the only choice to save himself but right now, he needed his moment of weakness and doubt.

He took a ragged breath as the full meaning of what had just happened hit him. He was leaving McKinley. He was leaving Lima, his dad and Carole. He was leaving Finn and Mercedes. He was leaving everything and everyone that mattered. He had always wanted to leave but not like this. Not feeling like a back-stabbing, selfish bastard.

And if it wasn't bad enough, in just a couple of weeks he would be forced to compete against his friends for the dream they had all shared together, and there was a chance that he would take away that dream from all of them. Or they would take it away from him.

Another fit of sobs shook his brittle frame and he hid his face in his hands, leaning his head against the steering wheel in a helpless gesture. How did everything get so messed up in just a few days? When things were starting to look up, life had to come and crush him like a bug again. He didn't know how many more times he could lift himself up again. He didn't know if he could lift himself up from this.

Raindrops started pelting against the windshield from the leaden sky like angry harpies trying to get at the crying boy huddled inside. Soon the car was enveloped in a cocoon of rainy mist, cut off from the rest of the world. Kurt felt it reflected really well what he felt like inside.

XxXxXxX

Finn couldn't help his anger as Kurt dropped the bomb. He felt cheated, betrayed and hurt. How could Kurt do this to them? To him? They'd just started back on a path to becoming real brothers, and this time they both wanted it for the same reasons, and it was now that Kurt decided to leave. Just like that. His stepbrother was many things but he was never a quitter. Quite honestly, he was the strongest person Finn knew. To see that strength and fortitude crumble before his very eyes made him more angry than he thought possible. Kurt had looked so defeated and alone, standing there before them announcing the end of his life as they knew it, holding his bag in front of him like a shield. And naturally, Finn lashed out at him in the one moment when he could prove to Kurt in actions not just words that he could be his brother. He made it about himself instead and now Kurt was gone.

Mercedes made a move to go after Kurt but Finn put a hand on her shoulder. "I got this."

She looked at him skeptically. "You'd better know what you're doing, white boy. Or I swear you'll be taking the soprano spot."

Not wasting more time and knowing Mercedes would do good on her promise, he hurried out of the choir room. The corridors were deserted and he got to the parking lot in no time. He let out a relieved sigh seeing Kurt's SUV was still parked where they'd left it in the morning. Just as he was crossing the lot, a blue four-fingered hand of a luminous lightning grasped at sky and a hard-driving cold rain began slapping against his clothes, face and hair as if it wanted to physically turn him away. It was coming down in column after column, each drenching him more than the previous one. He made his way to the black car fighting the heavy gusts of wind. He didn't really know if Kurt was even there but something told him that he would be. And then he saw the crumpled, miserable form of his brother on the driver's seat and the rain and the wind and the fact that he was freezing and wet didn't matter. He grasped at the passenger door and got inside.

Kurt's head shot up in shock and he yelped as the cold droplets dripping from Finn landed on him.

"Why aren't you at the rehearsal?" he hissed, wiping his eyes and turning his head away. "You are still a member of New Directions," he added in a self-admonishing tone.

"What I am is your brother, ok?"

Kurt narrowed his red-rimmed eyes at him. "If you're here to try and convince me to stay again or offer your bodyguard services, you can leave. I'm not going back there."

"Why?"

"Really?" Kurt threw him an exasperated glance and looked away into the rain outside.

"You owe me an explanation, dude. And sarcasm isn't going to get you out of this one."

Kurt turned back to him. "Have you been reading the dictionary?"

"You mean that big book with tiny letters you hit me over the head every time we study Spanish? I guess something must have gotten through," he shrugged. "Or maybe you got through to me."

"What?"

"You make me want to be a better person, Kurt. I am a better person because of you. I never had a brother so I don't know how this stuff works but I think you make the best brother I could ever have. With all your bossiness, your hissy fits, your bitching and even the incredibly long time you take in the bathroom, I love you."

Kurt stared at him and Finn looked away. He took a deep breath and continued.

"And so do those other ten people you left there. We've been through a lot together and the one thing that got us through it all and made us special was that we always stuck together. We're more than just a bunch of choir kids. We're a family. So please…"

Every word was like a blow, driving in the pain further and Kurt couldn't take it anymore. "Finn, stop."

Finn stared at him.

"I won't change my mind," Kurt said levelly. "It's done and that's it."

Finn felt a new wave of anger rush through him. "Just like that? You're giving up this easy?"

"Easy? Easy?" Kurt turned to him, angry sparks making his blue eyes stand out even more against his pale skin. "There is nothing easy about this, Finn!"

"So don't go!"

"Do you think I have a choice here? I can't come back to being terrified every minute of every single day! Being afraid when I turn a corner, jumping when I hear a locker close, not being able to focus on anything and anyone! If I don't get away while I still can, I'll fall apart, Finn!"

Finn just stared at Kurt. He had no idea it was this bad. Kurt, in true Kurt manner, held it all inside. Not that Finn tried really hard to find out, either. He felt even worse for behaving the way he did in the last weeks.

"Kurt, I'm really sorry. This is my fault."

"What?" Kurt looked at him incredulously. "Finn, no. This is Karofsky's fault."

"If I'd done anything sooner, this wouldn't have gone this far. Instead I let Karofsky bully me into doing nothing because it was safer and it worked for me. I was selfish. I'm no better than him," he looked at Kurt. "But now I know it, I can do something about it and prove to you I can be a good brother, too."

"Please tell me you're talking about doing community service."

"I may have to do some after I'm done."

Kurt's hand closed around Finn's bicep, an urgent plea in his eyes. "Finn, you want to prove to me you're my brother? Then drop it. Leave Karofsky alone and be there for me. Because I need you here as my brother, not locked up in juvie for beating up a miserable balding Neanderthal." Kurt looked at him, his hand tightening around Finn's arm.

"Karofsky's balding?"

"Finn." Kurt sniffled. "Focus."

"Kurt, I can't promise you that I won't trip from time to time knocking his head on the wall, or that my fist won't accidentally connect with his nose every time I see him."

"Finn, you will do no such thing," Kurt enunciated. "I don't want to be the reason for you getting expelled."

"You're the reason my mom's happily married again, the reason I have a dad for the first time in my life, and a brother. You're a reason for many good things in my life and I won't give that up, no matter how much it costs me. What I said at the wedding…I really meant it, Kurt."

Kurt looked at him, fresh tears welling in his eyes. What was he doing? How could he ever leave here? How could he let go this amazing guy he was proud to call his brother, and all the wonderful people that were his friends? If Finn spoke one more sentence like this, he would break. And he couldn't. He turned away from Finn, his chin held high.

"Can you please go now? I've got to pack and you've got your rehearsal."

Finn just nodded and didn't press him. He knew Kurt better than they were both willing to admit and knew once his stepbrother set his mind on something, he would do it or die trying.

"Call if you need help."

XxXxXxX

"Kurt you're going to the next county not Antarctica," Burt complained seeing the large assembly of suitcases, bags and – wait, was that Aunt Mildred's old travelling trunk? – piled next to the car.

"Every place gives an opportunity for fashion," Kurt said airily.

"I thought they wore uniforms there? As in you won't even get to wear this stuff?"

"Not all the time. There's a casual hour every day."

"You're taking all this to wear for an hour daily?"

"Of course."

Burt just shook his head. He stopped trying to understand his son's fashion fixation a long time ago. Instead, he looked for his other son.

"Where's Finn? I thought he was going to help with the packing."

Kurt took a look around, feeling a lump of ice forming in his stomach. He hadn't seen Finn since dinner. Ever since their yesterday's talk, Finn had been withdrawn and unusually monosyllabic, even for himself. Kurt suddenly remembered he saw Finn going out an hour ago with what looked like a badly concealed baseball bat. Finn didn't play baseball. Oh no.

"Dad, we're not leaving till tomorrow so why don't we leave the packing till morning?"

"Something's wrong?"

"No, I just remembered I have a date with Finn."

Kurt started into a run as soon as he got out of his father's sight. He got to his SUV in record time, and vaulted himself inside not bothering to buckle the seatbelt. His law-abiding prim driving forgotten, he got to McKinley with a screech of tires and practically flew out of his car. The school was deserted at this time and his frantic footsteps resounded squeakily in the corridors as he ran towards the football team's locker room. Please don't let me be too late.

There they were, Finn standing a couple of feet opposite Karofsky, their fists and jaws clenched and both of them breathing heavily, like two angry bulls in an arena. Kurt didn't hesitate a moment but jumped in between them before they could pack any punches.

"Finn, stop this!" he shouted, placing his hand on his brother's chest to stop him from advancing on Karofsky. "He's not worth it!"

Finn's gaze didn't leave the bully, though, and Karofsky's didn't leave Finn. Kurt dropped his hands and turned to his stepbrother.

"Finn, look at me! Look. At. Me. He's not…"

"But you are!" Finn finally exploded. "Dammit, Kurt, I have to do something! You're my brother and I'm going to protect you."

"Yeah, you two boyfriends go cuddle now or something."

"You shut up!" Kurt whirred to Karofsky, his eyes shooting daggers. "And get out of here now!"

He was breathing heavily, his cheeks reddened and his delicate hands clenched into fists. There was such strength emanating from him, and such unwavering superiority in his gaze that Karofsky just stared. There was something so hard and unrelenting and…formidable about the smaller boy that he knew he had already lost the war. The battle of McKinley might be his but Kurt Hummel was like an iceberg. Unsinkable. And there was a fiery glint in his eyes that told Karofsky those hands could not only play the piano but pack a punch, too, if forced. He retreated without another word.

The silence that followed his leave was so profound that you could hear a pin drop.

"That was so cool!" Finn finally exclaimed. "It's like you're a Jedi or something!"

Kurt put his hands on his hips, his lips a thin line. "Finn Hudson, tell me why I shouldn't just punch you in the face myself right now."

"Because…you don't know how?"

"Do you want to get punched in the face?"

"Uh…no?"

Kurt sighed. "Finn, I asked you not to do anything like this."

"And I told you I couldn't promise anything."

"Finn, why do you have to make this difficult?"

"I can't just stand there and watch him walk around like he owns this school while you're…" his voice trailed. "…you're not here anymore because you chose to be the better man."

"I am the better man."

"I know. And I want to make sure Karofsky knows that, too."

"Finn, sweetie, I really don't care what he knows or doesn't know. And you shouldn't either. Please try to understand and don't make this any harder than it is. If I have to worry about you getting into trouble because of Karofsky, I won't make it. And I have to make it, Finn. I have to. This is the best for me right now. So please understand and do this for me?"

Finn gave him a wan smile. "Fine. If he accidentally slips on the stairs walking past me, I'll be sure to have a banana peel on me."

XxXxXxX

"Really?" Finn asked holding up a lamp that was going into the trunk last.

"The right décor is key to a congenial ambience," Kurt said with a sassy toss of his hair. Seeing the blank expression on Finn's face, he gave him a pointed look. "Which means yes. Really. The lamp's going."

"Whatever," Finn mumbled with a shrug, actually quite happy the ugly piece was going away. He slammed the trunk shut and despondently watched Kurt say his goodbyes to his mum. Burt was already in the car waiting when Kurt turned to Finn. There were tears in his eyes and this time he didn't even try to stop them.

Finn awkwardly shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and looked at his shoes. "So, I guess this is it."

"I guess it is," Kurt said in a subdued tone. He looked up at Finn. "Please be happy for me?" he asked in a muted, strangely low and vulnerable voice. Finn looked at him, his jaw clenched. He was trying really hard not to cry.

"Just a little bit?" Kurt tried again hopefully and Finn had to crack a smile when those big blue eyes were looking at him with such expectation and hope.

"I'll try."

Kurt nodded, his eyes lucid. He took a deep breath to stifle the tremble in his voice. "I know that's asking an awful lot from a guy who still thinks Santa brings him Christmas presents but don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, ok?"

"Wait, Santa isn't real?"

Kurt chuckled. "Finn, I'm serious. Promise me you won't do anything that will get you in harm's way. Or worse, expelled."

There was a glint of recognition in Finn's eyes. "Someone needs to sort out his priorities," he offered.

There was more conveyed in the look they shared than could be in a million words. Then they both relaxed, and even though they knew this wasn't the time, they both cracked up.

"You've read the Harry Potters I gave you for your birthday," Finn said surprised, wiping out tears from his eyes. "I didn't think you would."

"While our tastes in literature differ substantially and Miss Rowling's opus wouldn't be my first choice…"

"Wait, J.K. Rowling has an o-ctopus?"

Kurt chuckled through the tears. Then he threw his arms around Finn. "I'm really going to miss you, dimwit."

Finn reciprocated the hug. "Me too, weirdo. Remember, I'm always a phone call away, ok?"

"I know."

~~Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero. ~~

Marc Brown

A/N: Now that that's written, I feel a bit better, though I'm still quite shell-shocked…Anyways, I'd love to know what you think – reviews get you brownies;)