Disclaimer: How many times does The Princess of Poland have to say she does NOT own Narnia?

(Morning)

Still dead.

(Noon)

Will come back as mosquito, buzz very loudly and ruin coronation! (Evil laugh)

(Afternoon)

Stupid centaur! Was slapped before coronation even started!

(Night)

Came back as spider, observed coronation, came up with clever and cunning plan (!)

Was eaten by fox. Am now sulking.

Tuesday:

Came back as lobster - started work on clever and cunning plan.

(Afternoon)

Finished cunning and clever plan (will have to start calling it Cunning and Clever Plan ™)

Was in the middle of Happy Dance (very hard to do as lobster) when was captured by Stupid Faun.

(Night)

Was eaten for dinner. Bummer.

Wednesday:

(Morning)

Came back as fly.

(Afternoon)

Ah-ha! They all think Pesky Lion disappeared by some Deep Magic ™, but is actually stuck in Highly Effective Sand-Trap ™! Intend to keep him there for 1000 years. (Maniacal laughter)

(Night)

Died. (Again) Stupid fly only lives for 24 hours!

FOURTEEN YEARS LATER

Monday:

Came back as caterpillar.

Nooooooo! Pesky Lion has escaped from Highly Effective Sand-Trap ™ which was key part of Cunning and Clever Plan ™ (which apparently, was not so effective, clever or cunning)

He randomly turned a guy into a donkey. Pshaw! I could've done better!

Have also found Younger Idiot Boy, Younger Idiot Girl and Elder Idiot Boy. They're all growed up (Duh!)

(Several Minutes Later)

STUPID FAUN! Was just stepped on and now guts are oozing into carpet.

Definitely NOT happy.

ONE YEAR LATER

Wednesday:

Actually came back as something white! Though not exactly what expected...

Oh great, here come those Idiot Country Stealers. Will try stabbing with halves of wand, someone has stuck them to head. What an odd place to put them!

Hmmmm...antlers prove non-effective for stabbing.

(Two Minutes Later)

Have just run head-first into lamp-post me created first time was here. (distinctly remember throwing cross bar at Pesky Lion - he didn't even bleed!) The firework inside is still burning but hasn't burst into pretty pink and purple sparkles yet. My fireworks never work...

On the Brightside (Always look on the bright side of death...) Idiot Country Stealers have gone back to their own world.

Sorta happy.