These characters do not belong to me they belong to Kurt Sutter.

Jax saved Tara from Salazar the same way as the show, but I wanted Tara to be a little more cautious about taking Jax back and be stronger about the whole thing. Please read and review :)

Enjoy!

We were silent the whole way to the hospital. Chief Unser had tried to make small talk from the front seat but we both remained silent. I stared out the window the whole way to the hospital. Even without looking I knew Jax was watching me. I could feel his gaze on me.

When I saw St. Thomas my heart began beating faster. I was nervous. What if I lost the baby? What if the baby was fine, what would that mean for Jax and me? What did Jax want?

I couldn't wait to find out and was in no rush at the same time. My body felt frozen in place until I felt Jax pull gently on my hand and guide me into the hospital. When we reached the front desk I found my voice again. The hospital staff knew I was on my way, but I could still see the surprise in their faces.

"I'm pregnant and I need an ultra sound". The nurse nodded at my words and lead us to one of the exam rooms.

I felt Jax's hand on my lower back, right over my crow. When we reached the room at the end of the hall the nurse told us that the doctor would be right in.

I sat down on the exam table and stared at my hands placed over my stomach. Jax busied himself with pacing up and down the room. It felt like hours before the doctor came in even though in reality I'm sure it was only a few minutes, if that. The minute the door opened Jax standing right next to me.

"Dr. Knowles, glad to see you" the doctor politely greeted me. I had been on her rotation a few times and was always pleasant to me. I tried to voice a small smile in response. "Ok lets see how you are doing" she said as she squirted ultra sound jelly on my lower stomach.

My eyes were glued to the screen. I heard it first. The quick pulsing sounds of a heartbeat. I still couldn't take my eyes of the screen I needed to see it for it to be real, my ears could be playing games with my head. Finally I saw the fluttering on the screen and felt myself breathe again. The doctor smiled showing where the heartbeat was on the screen more for Jax then myself, I knew exactly where to look.

Jax squeezed my hand tightly as the doctor handed me the ultra sound picture before quietly leaving the room. I can't help but smile at the small picture in my hands. I was proud of everything I did to protect my child, something I couldn't do for my other child.

I look up to find Jax's blue eyes staring back into mine. I try to search his face for a read on how he is feeling, instead of saying anything he leans down to kiss me deeply. It was the type of kiss he use to give me before everything happened. It made me feel home, if only for a few seconds.

"I want to see Abel" I said after clearing my throat. He had been in the back of my head this whole time and once I knew the new baby was ok I wanted to make sure the same could be said for my other baby.

"He's with mom, we can go now. The guys dropped off the cutlass for us" Jax said getting my stuff together and helping me off the exam table. I didn't say anything else. I didn't know what to say. Jax reached for my hand and held on tight the whole way down to the car and then kept holding on to it the whole ride to the house. I couldn't will myself to pull my hand away but I also knew that it didn't change anything and we couldn't be fixed that easy, but right now I needed him to be there for me.

When Jax opened the door to the house it took my breath away. He had gotten so big in the short time he was away. Gemma hands Abel to Jax and I feel my heart ache. There before me was the only mom who had ever really been there for me. The woman who taught me what it meant to be a fierce mother. As she reached out her arms and they encircled me I felt my strength weaken. She let me put the wall down that had been up for so long out of need. We stood there, her holding onto me, until I could pull myself together enough for the one person I had been longing to see. As Jax placed him in my hands I thought my heart was going to be burst. He reached up and held onto my face like he recognized me. After knowing he was safe that was my biggest worry, that he wouldn't recognize me. I faintly heard Jax tell Gemma that the baby was fine, but I was too involved with the boy in my hands.

I walk and sit down at the dining room table. Jax and Gemma are fast on my heels, worried I might fall over at any moment.

"I'm gonna get you a bowl of my chili, you need to eat something. Need to make sure that you are taking care of that new grandbaby of mine" Gemma said walking into the kitchen and coming back with a bowl for me.

Gemma returned back to the kitchen without a word as Jax sat down across from me yawning for the third time in less than two minutes.

"Go to bed" I say looking down at Abel.

"I'm fine" he said defensively.

"I'm safe, Abel is safe you can sleep now, plus I know you guys must have some club stuff to deal with tomorrow and you won't be any help to them if you haven't slept for 48 hours." I say trying to make him smile, it didn't work.

"Gemma wants to be near the kid. I can't take him for her just yet" he said trying to come up with any excuse he can.

"I am sure you can sleep here. Knowing Gemma she would love a full house tonight."

"And you? Where do you want to sleep?"

"Your old bedroom is already made up for the two of you, your both staying here" Gemma said walking back in with a bottle for Abel and handing it to me.

"I'm staying here. Now go to bed" I say looking Jax in the eye.

He stood up kissing Gemma goodnight before coming over to my side of the table. He kissed Abel on the head while he was finishing his bottle and then did the same to me.

"Come to bed soon" he said before he walked to his old bedroom.

Gemma waited until she heard his door shut before she sat down and gave me the look that I knew was coming.

"Where is your head at sweetheart?"

I gave her a confused look, I had no idea what she was talking about.

"With Jax, I mean. He looks like he is trying to be the caring old man again and you two are having a kid together so where is your head at with the two of you?"

"I don't know Gemma. Yeah we are having a baby and I wish that everything could go back to the way it was and be a happy family, but what he did" I shake my head is disgust, "the way he disrespected me and our relationship. He may have tried to end it, but he took the easy way out and then sleeping with that porn slut, like it meant nothing to him and then her throwing it in my face. I don't know if we are going to be able to get past this, but you know what when I know what is going on with us, you will be the first to know."

"Honey I am not trying to pressure you, but look at that boy in your arms. Hold him close. No matter what Jax did or said he was trying to protect you. You feel that baby grow inside of you, you protected him with your life, like any good mother would do. You do what you need to do to protect your children and your family. Just think about the big picture of your family. For now that boy needs his bed, I need my bed and I know your man needs you in your bed. Love you sweetheart" she said before walking over to me to kiss me on my head. She paused for a minute, realizing she hadn't walked away yet I looked up from Abel. "and just for the record you are a great mother already," she said before disappearing down the hall toward her bedroom.

I sat for a minute watching Abel sleep in my arms thinking about all the words she said. The ones that kept running around in my head were "you are a great mother already". I was so scared that I disappointed her when I let Abel get taken, with those words I feel like all is forgiven. I am in this family for life now. The life I ran away from 12 years ago is now the life that I can't live without.